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reallyoverallofit
5 3,292 M Seeking Light 1
im always sore and tired
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts584 Forum posts143 Forum upvotes216 Current upvotes216 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2024 Member sinceJuly 23, 2024
Bio

Struggling. Just like everyone else here. 



Recent forum posts
mmmmelp
Journals & Diaries / by reallyoverallofit
Last post
 19 hours ago
...See more So I guess this is going to be the bigger journal I complain to (or gush into). Got the single line thing going. Did some one off entries in the group. But I like consolidation. So this can be where I vent now. Until I decide to delete my account. =)
Hot Friday Date For This Geriatric Millennial
35 & Over Community / by reallyoverallofit
Last post
 August 14th
...See more You guys... I had one goal leaving my miserable toxic awful job today. Make spaghetti, have a glass of wine, get tipsy so I can write more freely, and write scathing reviews of why my job sucks on Glassdoor. I have the spaghetti cooking, ate some cheese bread, drank some wine, and now all I want to do is sleep. =```( WHY THE OLD?!?!?!
My 40 Year Old Body
35 & Over Community / by reallyoverallofit
Last post
 September 3rd
...See more It's such a bummer that I can't get along with accepting I am not "youthful" and "vibrant" anymore. I still exercise quite a bit, though. Recently the infinite wisdom of the *** algorithm figured out I had an interest in dance. And for some reason it has been showing me a bunch of ballet. I remember being in ballet at 15 and taking in with no level or seriousness at that time. It was too hard. I had no character for hard work. Fast forward and now I'm 40 and asking AI if it's too late to do the whole dance thing. As I typed that I made a 1/3rd disappointed, 1/3 amused, 1/3rd unamused face. Thanks Meta. Anyway, I've been chatting with AI and it was like... "The most ideal body weight is no more than 130lbs" and all the videos I see of graceful ballerinas are determined children and teen girls doing the commitment. So I'm like well crap. I am old. You don't see delicate 40+ year old women with their never going away cellulite and food pouch plieing across any grand stage. And then AI was gracious and was like "Yea but there are 40+ people doing ballet." And it named one. I looked her up and was.... sigh. Even more depressed. I wish society didn't train my sad brain into thinking anything over 40 ain't cute anymore. I'd like to unlearn it but I know better than that. I can live with it though. Maybe I'll figure that one out. Maybe not. 
so can we not make posts orrr?
Journals & Diaries / by reallyoverallofit
Last post
 August 9th
...See more Trying to make a diary entry and hitting some nonsense error 064
My Coworkers Suck
Journals & Diaries / by reallyoverallofit
Last post
 August 10th
...See more I've been at my job for six years and the job stinks. The first two years were good. Then the pandemic hit. Then I got chronically sick. My bosses started retaliating against me because I was sick all the time. I found out my main partner/coworker was being paid significantly less than me and found that outrageous and unfair so I told him to ask for a raise. He not only got a raise, a year down the road he got promoted. I asked for a raise and promotion and got told I wasn't qualified... despite the fact that I trained my promoted coworker and am much more competent than my bosses. I have another coworker who would call off all the time and receive zero retaliation. In fact, she would leave a week's worth of work for my promoted coworker to have to do - her work on top of his. These two coworkers, the promoted one and the always calling off one have been friends and confidants for a long time. But in the last year they've both gotten to be fairly *** people. My promoted coworker heard the bosses taking my ideas for themselves and didn't speak up for me. He never speaks up for me. My bosses *** on me and plot to make my life suck and my promoted coworker will just tell me afterwards but won't speak up for me. The always calling in coworker treats me like I'm a side friend now. I am 14 years older than her and now, I guess, she thinks I'm due for a retirement home. Really sucks because she was so much fun for so long. This place isn't what it was when we were all starting and happy. I hate it here. I want out. I've been looking for nine months. I am tired of looking. Now, I hear my promoted coworker had a job specifically written for him at a university that one of my bosses who quit left to. Would be great if my promoted coworker ever spoke up for me so that boss didn't think what all the toxic bosses say about me. Guess that's asking too much. Guess meeting people with ethics and supportive personalities just isn't a thing. I am grumpy and mad today. 
reallyoverallofit's one line a day
Journals & Diaries / by reallyoverallofit
Last post
 4 hours ago
...See more Not even remotely brave enough for the flourishing test but here' s an attempt at one line a day but probably won't be consistent. 
Depression Shift.
Journals & Diaries / by reallyoverallofit
Last post
 August 12th
...See more I had a good day and a half of feeling not depressed but it's on its way out. The current depression is centered around a toxic job. And now my co-worker who is the only sane thing I have where I work is probably leaving. I want to leave. I've been trying to leave. It's like I don't exist to the world. I can't count how many resumes I've put out. They've all been proofed and reviewed. They get past a lot of the initial HR ***. But then silence. Someone on her mentioned a hiring agent. This concept is foreign to me and semi worries me that I'll have to relegate my needs to fit into an agent's box. And my needs aren't crazy, btw. I just want fair pay and a fair schedule for a job I like. That's it. But yea. It's Friday night. I am sad. Thursday, I felt great. Tonight, I feel like just going to bed early. I am already sad again. 
No Cloud Thursday?
Depression Support / by reallyoverallofit
Last post
 August 3rd
...See more Today I am feeling oddly uplifted and positive about being me. I really wish I could always feel like this. I don't know what lifted the cloud. I didn't get enough sleep and that usually triggers the cloud. I am alone at home because my partner is out doing amazing things with their life and that usually triggers the cloud. I am at my toxic job and that usually triggers the cloud. I am exercising more regularly but that usually doesn't lift my mood this much. Wish I could stay here. It feels heavenly. 
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