Mr. 8 or Life Obstacle Bets (LOB)
Like many of you, I’ve had to overcome a lot of challenges in life. I used to get frustrated with unexpected problems. Normally, they crop up exactly when I don’t want them to. I have 7 challenges to solve and here comes Mr. 8 jumping the line and requiring that I deal with him now. I say to Mr. 8. “Please go back to your place in line and I’ll get to you next week.” He says, “Nope. I’m here now and I’m not going to let you focus on problems 1 and 2 until you solve me.”
As you all know, we believe the problem is the path. That it is good to have a plan, but ultimately life is too complicated so a better idea is to simply solve the next biggest problem in front of you. Then, as you solve the problem, the path before you unfolds.
That means that solving Mr. 8 is likely the best thing to do even if it feels like a detour from my original plan. Over the years, I’ve stubbornly kept focusing on problems 1 and 2 even when Mr. 8 was bugging me. I have a lot of personal data on this. It yields an okay outcome. I also have data on just listening and solving Mr. 8 that is jumping the line. That data yields a much better outcome.
Ultimately, for me, this comes down to trusting the process of life - the river - rather than trusting myself or my own judgment. I can stubbornly hold to my own stance on things and try to force or control things OR I can trust that there is a reason for me to solve Mr. 8.
What this means for me is I have to have a belief that solving Mr. 8 is going to better help me and those I care for (my family, this community etc.). This is what I’ve come to:
Mr. 8 jumping the line has a personalized, tailored, custom lesson for me that I need to learn for optimal growth for myself and those I love. If I solve that problem (Mr. 8), then it’ll be better for me and those around me.
If I stick to my own perspective, and try to control things, then it’ll be less positive for me and those around me.
The concept of "the problem is the path" suggests embracing these challenges as part of the journey (adaptability).
I have come to think of Mr. 8 as a Life Obstacle Bet (LOB). I’m making the bet that solving Mr. 8 will yield better results than solving problems 1 and 2. If I am right, then fantastic. I better help others and myself. I also get to tell myself I’m making optimal progress. If I am wrong, then I’m not sure it matters all that much as I’m still solving a significant challenge that is calling me to focus on it.
The alternative belief is for me to be frustrated with the sometimes seemingly endless stream of Mr. 8 challenges that keep cutting the line. This results in me feeling irritated and frustrated. I feel like I’m not making the progress I want or need to make and I am in a constant place of playing catch up.
What is the Life Obstacle Bets (LOB) Approach?
The LOB approach reframes unexpected problems (Mr. 8) as opportunities for growth (reframing). You bet that solving Mr. 8 will yield better results than rigidly following the plan you originally had (prioritization and decision making). Even if solving Mr. 8 isn't the "optimal" solution, you're still addressing a significant issue (task management).
The LOB position invites the questions, “Hey, why not just believe that this frustrating problem is actually a disguised opportunity? What if this is a tailored challenge to help me and others grow?” If I am right, then life is easier, and I feel better about my progress. If I am wrong, then it doesn’t really matter in the long-run, and I still get to believe that I am taking the optimal path.
Benefits of the LOB Approach:
Reduces frustration from seemingly endless disruptions (improved decision making).
Encourages viewing challenges as disguised opportunities (positive reframing).
Fosters a sense of progress, even when tackling unexpected hurdles (improved task management).
In conclusion, the "Life Obstacle Bet" (LOB) tackles the frustration of unexpected challenges by reframing them as opportunities for growth. By prioritizing the most pressing issues (urgency and importance), and adapting your plan when necessary, the LOB approach fosters a sense of progress and reduces decision fatigue. This flexible and optimistic mindset allows you to effectively manage tasks, prioritize effectively, and ultimately achieve the best outcomes for yourself and those around you.
Discussion Questions:
Have you ever had a time when an unexpected problem turned out to be a positive experience? Remember, we can often only see this when we connect the dots looking backwards - like “oh that frustrating challenge was actually a key part of me now having this positive experience”. It only makes sense when we reflect. Similarly, when going through an unexpected frustrating time now, we can say “okay this will likely make more sense in the future just like those other times” now when I look back.
What's your biggest challenge with staying organized and managing your tasks?
How do you usually deal with feeling frustrated when things don't go according to plan?
@GlenM
Glenn,
8 = infinity sideways
Einstein famously wrote that time is an illusion.
Abhijit Naskar, the author of “Love, God & Neurons: Memoir of a scientist who found himself by getting lost,” wrote, “Time is basically an illusion created by the mind to aid in our sense of temporal presence in the vast ocean of space. Without the neurons to create a virtual perception of the past and the future based on all our experiences, there is no actual existence of the past and the future. All that there is, is the present.”
Alan Watts said, “The same attitude of relaxed gentleness [practiced in judo] is most beautifully seen when you watch cats climbing trees. When a cat falls out of a tree, it lets go of itself. The cat becomes completely relaxed, and lands lightly on the ground. But if a cat were about to fall out of a tree and suddenly made up its mind that it didn't want to fall, it would become tense and rigid, and would be just a bag of broken bones upon landing.
“In the same way, it is the philosophy of the Tao that we are all falling off a tree, at every moment of our lives. As a matter of fact, the moment we were born we were kicked off a precipice and we are falling, and there is nothing that can stop it. So instead of living in a state of chronic tension and clinging to all sorts of things that are falling with us because the whole world is impermanent, be like a cat. Don't resist it.”
Problem ∞ is the problem we are compelled to solve now.
In the infinite space of “now,” my Problem ∞ is to complete my latest book.
Love and Courage,
Rose
@GlenM
This reminds me of:
"Just Keep Swimming"- Dory from Nemo
I loved the way she just went with the flow even though she had a bad memory, while Nemo's dad was worrying. Her "just keep swimming", always worked out.
❤︎
@CalmRosebud
I listen to Alan Watts a lot.
Here is my fav quote of his:
♡
@Helgafy
Your post was heartfelt. I am sending my positive thoughts and prayers to you. I have some clarity now why you said that you would add the word, " fully, " and would love for you to have the ability to experience life walking outside of your apartment. Thank you for giving life to the flowers in your home, you are truly a beautiful person. I can feel this in your post, and I felt the want to "fully" experience life. I hope that cups give you some way to cope while you are in your apartment. I love that you are faithful, love that for you. Keep sharing your faith, I read your post praying for Glenn and Heather. Would you say that sharing your faith, is your gift to the world?
