Building Self-esteem Series: The Fear of Failure
Hi there,
I hope you have enjoyed Hope’s Building Self-esteem Series as much as I have! Today, I wanted to open up a discussion about something we all face at some point in our lives: the fear of failure. It doesn’t matter who we are, what job we do, or how well we feel we have worked on our personal growth. It's a universal experience that can hold us back from reaching our full potential, both personally and professionally. However, I believe that by sharing our experiences and incorporating therapeutic techniques, we can overcome this fear and pave the way for personal growth.
Understanding the Fear of Failure
Firstly, let's acknowledge that the fear of failure is completely normal. It's a part of the human experience, and almost everyone has felt it at some point. Whether it's starting a new project, taking on a challenging task, or pursuing a dream, that little voice of doubt can creep in and make us question our abilities. We may even struggle with an internal critic that constantly holds us back with our negative internal dialogue and if you want some tips on how to quieten this voice please read here.
Developing a Growth Mindset:
One powerful therapeutic technique to combat the fear of failure is cultivating a growth mindset. The growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. Instead of seeing challenges as insurmountable obstacles, individuals with a growth mindset view them as opportunities to learn and grow. Instead of avoiding challenges or not attending to them all together, the growth mindset teaches you to work through those challenges, to go with the river, and to see what you can learn on your journey!
Practical Steps for Developing a Growth Mindset:
Embrace Challenges: Rather than avoiding difficult tasks, actively seek out challenges. This can help reframe your perspective and view challenges as stepping stones to improvement.
Learn from Criticism: Constructive criticism is a valuable tool for growth. Instead of taking it personally which can sometimes happen, use it as feedback for improvement. Remember, even the most successful people faced setbacks and criticism on their journey. You are not alone and gradually it gets easy when you are able to invite constructive criticism. It takes practice and self-compassion to be able to learn from constructive criticism.
Celebrate Effort, Not Just Success: Shift the focus from end results to the effort you put in. Acknowledge your hard work and dedication, regardless of the outcome. This helps build resilience and perseverance and is one of the key ways to overcome the fear of failure.
View Setbacks as Learning Opportunities: When things don't go as planned, ask yourself what you can learn from the experience. Failure is not the end but rather a chance to refine your approach and try again with newfound knowledge.
Sharing Your Experiences:
I'd love to hear from you all. Have you faced the fear of failure? How did you manage it, and did you try any therapeutic techniques like developing a growth mindset? Sharing our stories can be both cathartic and inspirational for others going through similar struggles.
Remember, we're all in this together, and every setback is a chance to grow stronger. Let's create a supportive space to discuss, learn, and conquer the fear of failure as a community!
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences that you feel comfortable sharing.
Photo by Sammie Chaffin on Unsplash
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
I do face the fear of failure quite often in many challenges. I usually either not take fear into account because I know it's something I have to do so I have to power through it even if I like it or not. If I don't think it's something I need to do although it would be beneficial for me, I just buy into the thought that "I'm not capable of" and I don't do anything. Neither solution is healthy. They're both ignoring my feelings, which is never a good strategy. I do consciously try to improve little by little and constantly but that's very rare.
@Suen00
What are some alternative thoughts you could tell yourself? I know it is difficult when we experience thoughts such as the ones you mentioned but sometimes if we reframe them it can help change our perspective too. :)
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
Have you faced the fear of failure? How did you manage it, and did you try any therapeutic techniques like developing a growth mindset?
Yeah, I've faced it quite a lot. Sometimes I feel like "I know I won't be able to do this, so why try?" kinda thing. Honestly, I'm still struggling to mange it, but yeah, trying. I try to tell myself that I'm never gonna know for sure if I can do it or not if I don't try, so maybe I should try.
@exuberantBlackberry9105
I love that approach. You will never know if you do not try so you may as well try :) and with every single small step you make, they add up to positive changes and working towards facing your fear of failing.
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS Thank you so much.
@Hope and anyone still reading this :)
Hi. I just wanted to let you know I am working on this Building Self-Esteem Series.
I am here - about Day 4. Today is already March 24... so I've just under a week to complete to get the badge!
and yes, Thank you to @LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS for setting aside the time to write this Step / Day, section of the series :) More to come, <3 from Platy :)@cyanPlatypus6370
Way to go Platy :) This is great work and we are so glad you are here with us and enjoying the amazing series from Hope!
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
Yes, but it's fine for me! I usually make plans for myself, but when it comes to doing them.. it becomes hard, though I know that this is normal, and that all what matters is to keep going and enjoy what I'm doing, passion for my hobbies and interests fuels my soul, I always look up to my core values, not my expectations, and let myself experience and learn, like a free child on a playground 😄🍃.
Have you faced the fear of failure? How did you manage it, and did you try any therapeutic techniques like developing a growth mindset?
Yes. I do these to manage it:
- acknowledging the fear of failure;
- emotion releasing process: releasing uncomfortable emotions attached to unhelpful beliefs;
- thinking of the best-case and most likely scenarios as well; and
- visualising success.
These have helped me recognise that failure is just another part of our process; it's an opportunity to take a step back and learn more. If we never face difficult challenges, we will never grow.
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS Had a leaky faucet in my apartment. Went underneath the plumbing to tighten the valve and woosh out came water like a fire hydrant. I remained calm and quickly went to the breaker box to turn power off to all plugs. After that I put all my electronics in a high place so not to get wet. After that I called the fire department to turn off the valve outside.
Couple hours later I called a plumber to fix it. The valve was pretty old...he fixed some things in the bathing area too and gave me a fair price seeing as how he drove about a hour and a half to get to my place. He helped move my furniture in the back bedroom before he started his work too.
The family downs ceiling crumbled but they were not mad at me.
After that I called the apartment manager and she called a worker to dry my carpet with a vacuum for water related problems.
I went downstairs later that day and told his son if any of their belongings were damaged I could help some. Thankfully nothing was damaged.
I remained calm the whole time and considering all the events that led up to things returning back to normal I'm glad I did, because it really wasn't a big deal as how I could have made it seem had I lost my cool.
The guy that dried the carpet was pretty cool. It took him and his son's a short time from start to finish. It took the plumber a short time from start to finish.
I had other furniture in there that I've recently bought. None of it was damaged.
All my gaming equipment safe, the computer monitor in the kitchen safe.
The only thing that was damaged was the power bank to that monitor in the kitchen. It costs like 14 bucks.
So, 14 bucks and a cool head. Everything else would need to be replaced anyway.
Apartment maintenance ended up helping me with some things I installed on the place for doing a good job.
Look at me ma' I'm an adult!😀💪
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsSi think i've feared failing since my childhood. there was always this pressure to be perfect and thus when i felt i would fail at being the best or perfect, i didn't do many things that i wanted to. i actually realised that i fear failing recently.
i practise mindful meditations and they have helped a lot in overcoming my fear. in moments when i am afraid, i notice myself and then i am compassionate towards myself, just reminding myself that it's okay if i fail, i will learn something new and even if i fail i'll stand by myself.
@patientUnicorn3590
Thank you so much for sharing! We would love to learn more about your mindful meditations! :) That is a great way to look at that perceived sense of "failing". I don't actually think there is such a thing as failing as I do believe we can just try again or look at the situation differently.
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
Yes I have had fear of failure at times but I guess I have a belief that God will not abandon us and failure sometimes is actually the right thing to get us to the right place.
I also do have a growth mindset and I belief that failure is often a chance to develop and grow. I also remind myself that life would be quite boring if everything was going right all the time...I think I would wonder eventually why there is nothing going wrong. So these failures can help us develop new abilities and skills and demonstrate where we are going wrong.
I guess It also sometimes watch children and his they learn and his they are so full of mistakes when they talk and how they fall when learning to walk ..children keep going and so they learn...but as adults often we tend to give up more. I think we can sometimes remember children to remember how to learn
@quietlistener2023
That is such a thoughtful response and I liked the example that you used too! It makes so much sense to approach life with curiosity and use it to help us continue to learn.
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
Thank you for your comments and your response. I am glad you found it thoughtful and liked the examples
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
I'd love to hear from you all. Have you faced the fear of failure? How did you manage it, and did you try any therapeutic techniques like developing a growth mindset? Sharing our stories can be both cathartic and inspirational for others going through similar struggles.
Yes, I have faced the fear of failure. Mostly as a teen. I used to have to have this fear in the past, but now I have learned that making mistakes is okay. It is just a part of life. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. Yes, the growth mindset is very helpful. I used to have a fixed mindset which negatively impacted my overall wellbeing. But I am grateful to have experienced it. Because now I know how it is like to be with the fixed mindset. It also increses my understanding of my own self.
@Admirablerainbow2825
I guess you can say I developed a growth mindset from the understanding that anything is possible. I mean man went to the moon and back several times. Present day you can use a LLM for answers.
I actually learned about fixed mindset vs. growth mindset when I took classes a couple years ago. It's helped a lot. So yeah I have, and I guess that's what navigated me back into school.
@Admirablerainbow2825
What an insightful response. It is so great how you have now used the knowledge when making mistakes to see what lessons it can bring to your life. Often there are messages in the mistakes that we make that can help us on this journey in life. I am so glad you also used the fixed mindset to grow, that is invaluable knowledge that it taught you!
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
I’ve definitely felt the fear of failure, especially when I started my blog. I was really nervous about whether anyone would actually read it or if my writing would be good enough. But instead of letting that stop me, I decided to focus on the process rather than the outcome. I started to see it as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than worrying about failing. Over time that shift helped me feel more confident and less afraid of making mistakes.
