Building Self-Esteem Series: Learning from Others

Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. Thank you for participating in the Building Self-esteem series. This week we have an exciting post! We have two community users who you may have interacted with/seen who are sharing their own experiences with building their self-esteem.  Thank you to @pandanfe and @Kristynsmama for contributing to this post and sharing their experiences. 

The following are their reflections: 

At what point did you start this journey and what steps did you take early on?

Pandanfe: I’ve been an early meditation practitioner. So, self-esteem was always a part of my lifestyle. Maybe if it wasn’t for early meditation, I wouldn't have these things like self-love, self-esteem. 

Kristynsmama: I actually started this journey to better self esteem in high school.  (Secondary school for some).  The most important step that I took early on was seeking the support of a licensed and qualified therapist.  She taught me a lot of skills that I could use at home such as positive affirmations and gratitude.

What challenges did you face and how did you overcome them?

Pandanfe:  Sometimes challenges could be that some other people are trying to give their unnecessary opinions without base which could lead to self-doubt. And me being a non-social human makes it harder. But when I analyze the situation properly, I can make better decisions. 

Kristynsmama: My biggest challenge by far was my negative self talk.  Every time I said something negative to myself I had to try to undo it.  It seemed like I was trying to undo negative self talk on a daily basis!

What are your tips for people who want to have better self-esteem?

Pandanfe: 

• Knowing that you need no validation from others if you trust the process 
• Self-love is really important because if you’re treating yourself better, no one else is gonna treat you the wrong way 
• Keeping healthy boundaries is really important 
• And learning detachment from toxicity is must 

Kristynsmama: There is a book that was very helpful to me by Rhonda Britten.  It’s called Change your Life in 30 Days.  In that book, I learned that my self confidence is very much like a muscle.  When you go to the gym and exercise regularly, you get stronger.  Confidence and self esteem is the same way.  The more you use it, the stronger it gets.  And if you don’t use it, you lose it!

How can I build self-esteem when I don’t like myself?

Pandanfe: Then practicing self-love first is recommended. 

Kristynsmama: The opposite of hate is love.  Practicing self love was the only solution to my self hatred.

How do I develop self-respect for myself when I find it hard to respect myself?

Pandanfe: In this case it’s better to acknowledge what is that thing about you, that’s not letting you keep yourself at a higher position. Once you acknowledge it, it’s better to work on the root cause of low esteem.  Pro tips towards self esteem: Learn to cultivate self esteem through small steps like self-care, putting boundaries, starting to open up, mastering the technique of detachment etc. In case you wanna check how I developed more self-love you can do so by reading this post. 🔗

Kristynsmama: Viewing yourself with respect and love IS a choice.  You can choose to view yourself with love and respect or you can choose not to.  The one thing I learned though is that the more I choose the hatred path, the more I remain a victim of my own low self esteem. Pro tips towards self esteem: Learn to cultivate self esteem through small random acts of kindness.  When you are thinking of ways you can be of service to someone else, you don’t spend as much time trash talking yourself. In case you wanna check how random acts of kindness have changed my life, check out this post 🔗

When we look at both the reflections, we find some similarities in their journeys and some room for different approaches to building self-esteem. Both Pandan and Kristy started their journeys to better self-esteem early on, facing challenges like negativity and self-doubt. They overcame them through various methods, including seeking professional help, positive self-talk, and self-love practices.

Pandanfe emphasizes:

• Self-love and trust in the process
• Healthy boundaries and detachment from negativity
• Small steps like self-care and opening-up

Kristynsmama highlights:

• Self-respect as a choice and the power of positivity
• Building self-esteem like a muscle through consistent effort
• Random acts of kindness to shift focus and boost confidence

Both agree that self-love is crucial and offer resources for further exploration. Remember, building self-esteem is a journey, start small, be kind to yourself, and celebrate progress!

Tasks for this week 

• After reading both Pandanfe and Kristynsmama’s shares, Whose experience feels more relatable to you in your own journey? Are there any specific tips or techniques shared by either Pandan or Kristy that you'd like to try or incorporate into your own efforts?
• (Optional) Do you have any specific questions for Pandan or Kristy? (You can ask them to elaborate on their techniques or something they mentioned that you are curious about). Please ask questions relevant to their building self-esteem journey. 

This post is part of the Building Self-esteem series! You can find all the posts of the series linked here.