How can I restore my relationship?
About a month ago my fiancé told me she didn't really love me that way any more. She said she was tired of trying to make me love her.
I do love her, more than ever actually. The problem is that I would never show her affection. I've been doing self analysis and am seeing a therapist to work through things. I realize that growing up my parents didn't show affection to each other and that had some bad influences on me. When she would tell me how she felt I would just get defensive and shut down. I would think why can't you love me the way I am. I focused on my thoughts instead of hearing what pain I was causing her.
This experience has completely reset how I view things and all I want to do is show her how much I love her. We still live together and talk about non relationship stuff. She told me the other day that our relationship is blurry for her, but she's closer to wanting to just be friends.
I will occasionally tell her I want to kiss her (she doesn't want that right now) and she said that she feels like I'm pressuring her. I tried to explain I'm not trying to pressure her, but this is the only way I know how to show her my level of affection right now. I also try to hug her every day and tell her I love her when I go to bed each night. She doesn't say it back, but hasn't said that bothers her.
I asked her if she would go on a date with me and she said she had to think about it.
I want to show her I've changed how I think about things and I'm committed to changing and make this relationship work. I don't want to push her further away in the process though. I feel like every choice I make could be the wrong one, but doing nothing isn't going to work either. I'd be willing to give her any amount of time she needs if I just knew we would get another chance in the end.