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ihaveasoulmate
4 1,921 M Hopeful Heart 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts133 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2024 Member sinceMarch 27, 2023
Recent forum posts
Am I being unfair here?
Grief & Loss / by ihaveasoulmate
Last post
 Monday
...See more About 6 years ago I bought a new house so that I could live with my girlfriend and her kids. I sold my old house and used all my own funds to put up about 60% down payment. Initially I made more money than her so I paid for pretty much everything. She also had trust issues so she wanted to save money in case I left her and I was fine with that. We got engaged but never married. 1.5 years ago she broke up with me and I didn't see it coming. We've continued to live together all this time. I was hoping we could try again but she never wanted to. I told her I can't keep doing this so we're going to stop living together. All the time I continued to pay the mortgage and utilities. She paid for most groceries and did all the cooking. We split most other chores evenly. She thinks I should give her 50% of the house value and I think I should get significantly more because I put continued to pay the mortgage. I was willing to give her half of the house appreciation since the value has gone up quite a bit since we bought. She is also going to keep the vehicle we bought together. In my mind that, plus the fact she could save money instead of putting it in the house offset the equity earned those years we were together. Am I being the jerk here? She's no longer talking to me.
How can I restore my relationship?
Relationship Stress / by ihaveasoulmate
Last post
 April 26th, 2023
...See more About a month ago my fiancé told me she didn't really love me that way any more. She said she was tired of trying to make me love her. I do love her, more than ever actually. The problem is that I would never show her affection. I've been doing self analysis and am seeing a therapist to work through things. I realize that growing up my parents didn't show affection to each other and that had some bad influences on me. When she would tell me how she felt I would just get defensive and shut down. I would think why can't you love me the way I am. I focused on my thoughts instead of hearing what pain I was causing her. This experience has completely reset how I view things and all I want to do is show her how much I love her. We still live together and talk about non relationship stuff. She told me the other day that our relationship is blurry for her, but she's closer to wanting to just be friends. I will occasionally tell her I want to kiss her (she doesn't want that right now) and she said that she feels like I'm pressuring her. I tried to explain I'm not trying to pressure her, but this is the only way I know how to show her my level of affection right now. I also try to hug her every day and tell her I love her when I go to bed each night. She doesn't say it back, but hasn't said that bothers her. I asked her if she would go on a date with me and she said she had to think about it. I want to show her I've changed how I think about things and I'm committed to changing and make this relationship work. I don't want to push her further away in the process though. I feel like every choice I make could be the wrong one, but doing nothing isn't going to work either. I'd be willing to give her any amount of time she needs if I just knew we would get another chance in the end.
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