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iloveyouxx May 15th


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Tinywhisper11 May 15th

@iloveyouxx last post????? Are you ok sweetie??

@iloveyouxx 

friendo?? you okay?!

@iloveyouxx



Last post?? : 0 Are u okay????? I hope ur ok! *hugs if oki* 

mytwistedsoul May 15th

@iloveyouxx Hey is everything ok? I mean if you're leaving because you want to that's ok - we'd all miss you of course. But if something happened here to make you feel this way - maybe we can help 💙

HopieRemi May 16th

@iloveyouxx

What do you mean by "last post"? Your thread gives no context so it makes us concerned for you. Please reply if you can. xoxo Let us know what's going on.

8 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 16th

@HopieRemi

okay. :') I’m sorry. you’re right-💜/gen I just didn’t think anyone would care honestly/nav by "last post" I mean im leaving. and no I’m not okay. I hope that’s something💗?


7 replies
HopieRemi May 16th

@iloveyouxx

Of course we care! <3 I am glad to hear from you. I am sorry to hear though that you are leaving the website. But we all have to make decisions that are best for us. I will say I have seen you around the forums and you always seem so sweet. I hope you have a good rest of your day. 

6 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 16th

@HopieRemi

it’s not what’s best for me.💜I’m not leaving the website either. my account will still be there.🤍just no one to use it- thankyu sm💖my day couldn’t have gone worse :P🤍thankyu tho💗I hope yu have a great day💕idk about the caring thing heh :P but thankyou<3

5 replies
HopieRemi May 16th

@iloveyouxx

Did something happened? 

4 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 16th

@HopieRemi

yu mean on cups? or off-

thankyu for staying and putting up with this me for so long💗it means so much to me💖yu have v strong tolerance and composure lol :P💕

3 replies
HopieRemi May 16th

@iloveyouxx

Both :O did something happen on cups or off cups to make you want to leave cups? What are you planning to do now?

2 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 17th

@HopieRemi

:0 I’m still not leaving cups- idk how to say it lol :') my account will still be up just no one to use it.🩷but idk. cups has been just so toxic lately. literally hacking my mind but that’s not the point anyway :'P🤍everything off cups is just horrifyingly triggering and I feel bad but yeah I guess. things happen off cups and theyre not always that great🐢✨now,-yeah I still don’t know how to say it- I know I would’ve just left but it kinda annoys me when people do that- just leave and not say anything- I do have a plan tho. I just didn’t want to leave cups last second before I left. if that makes sense? I’m not making sense :')💜


1 reply
HopieRemi May 17th

@iloveyouxx

What do you mean no one to use it? Like you will be around living your life, just not using cups, right? <3 and I appreciate you not just disappearing!

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Tinywhisper11 May 16th

@iloveyouxx awww honey. You are loved and cared by so many people here ❤ I care about you and love you alot ❤❤ you've become a very special friend to me ❤ if you decide to leave, I'll be here waiting just in case you want to come back ❤

2 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 16th

@Tinywhisper11

teenie :')❤️I don’t wanna sound mean❤️but you love everyone :')❤️literally- there isn’t someone you just can’t care about because that’s just how much of a gift of a person you are to us- you’re literally such a blessing and the kindest person to ever walk the earth. I’m not exaggerating :')❤️if anyone cares it’s you❤️but I guess. it just kinda makes me feel like a "one of". I’m really not all that- not special or nothing. I don’t push myself to play pretend to keep up a fake personality- I kinda don’t like it when people do that :') so I’m sorry if I’m being negative or anything❤️I just say what I think or how I feel. I’m not deciding to leave and by the time I do I won’t have the option to come back. I love you so much❤️/vvvvgen.💖


1 reply
Tinywhisper11 May 17th

@iloveyouxx pulls worried face 😕 please don't do thay, never give up. You don't have to act like anyone other than you, cause this is our safe place where we can be who we are ❤ I know you've been hurting for a long time. And the way you express yourself through your beautiful poems, is something quite special ❤ I'm right here if you ever need me for anything, gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤

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@iloveyouxx hi there. i may not know you, but i came across this post and read your posts on this thread and thought i'd say something. i get that things are going terribly for you off cups and things aren't very nice on cups too. i'm sorry you're going through this. i think i understand what you're talking about, are you planning on leaving as in leaving the planet?

i know it's hard, but you know this decision to leave isn't what's best for you, you just said that, right? please, please do what is best for you. you don't have to use cups if you don't want to. but it'll be there if you feel you need it, okay? 💙

unassumingEyes May 18th

@iloveyouxx nadia frnd...?

Is there anything i can do?

tearstruck May 18th

@iloveyouxx heya nadia, I know you probably don't know me but I've seen you around here so much and I know you're the sweetest most genuine amazing person 💖💖💖💖💖 I really hope you're doing okay <3 I know life can be really difficult at times and you're going through a lot but please please please be safe, be kind to yourself, things will get better it'll be okay 🩷🩷🩷 here for you if you need anything, and everyone else on here too, you are amazing and so many people here care about you so much <3<3<3<3<3 Sending love and hugs and kittens' hugs ;) <3 (if okay :))
take care <3 be safe, look after yourself <3 here for you if you want to share or need support or anything at all im just a tag away <3 sending love💖😽🤗🩷🩷

iloveyouxx OP May 20th

hi everyone🩷I don’t have much time right now but I know I won’t have the energy later. so I thought I should reply with the time I have- but it’s gonna be in one post tho I’m sorry I really hope that’s okay💜

(that was..2? days ago. idk. there’s more to reply to now. I got really really busy with some. stuff. and we go back to school tomorrow so I should really reply now. I’m sorry🤍)

(nvm nvm it’s more now. but I’m in a random good mood so I think I’ll actually get sum done this time :0💗💓)

@HopieRemi

honestly I kinda give up. no hehe <3 I won’t be there to use cups. you’ve been so sweet throughout this whole convo💖we luv random acts of kindness💕and just being there and saying all those kind words, I think it counts💗yu have so many positive reviews and badges💓I know you’ve helped su much of us here💜yu own a beautiful soul.💗and I think we should take a moment to applause for that heheh👏👏👏👏👏✨✨✨✨🌈🌈🌈✨💖✨💜💕💓💖💖💜💓💓🌈🎉🎉🎉🎉💖💖💕yaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy yuuu🎉🎉💕💖💓💕💜🎉💜🌈🌈💖💓💖💕💗

@Tinywhisper11

I was hurting in my first memory and I know I’ll be hurting in my last one too. hold on there’s sumthing wrong with my screen-

okie it’s fixed. I love you❤️and I love your giant tiny hugs sm.❤️❤️you’re such a beautiful person teenieloaf.❤️there’s so much to you that’s just so impossible not to love.❤️i won’t list them because last time I did it got so long that it turned into an error and got deleted- but I just love you❤️the amount of love you have in your heart for so many people is so so beautiful and just special- you’re special❤️I love you.

thats where I stopped last time.❤️second giant tiny hug❤️❤️

hugs-love.gif

@exuberantBlackberry9105

I actually did reply to this one awhile after it was posted- I didn’t get to post it put I had sum of it saved. 

"hi.🩷I think I do know yu- maybe as a friend’s friend.💜  ☠️why’re yu literally the only one that gets it- no offense to anyone that doesn’t it’s not like I’ve been saying much. honestly I don’t care anymore. if someone wants to refer or report me they could but really don’t care and it won’t change nothing. if this forum gets removed I don’t really care either. I was already planning on getting it deleted before I do leave. but yeah- you’re right.🤍  im sorry- I got distracted and but I’m back like an hour later :P🤍I feel different rn tho."

that’s the whole thing- I’m gonna reply to the rest now💗

im not sure what to say💜I wrote this whole paragraph about this last time(it got deleted)but I barely remember anything and my mind is going in so many different places now. I just remember it being about why it actually is what’s best for me and how when I said that I meant sumthing else and that this was what’s best for me. idk.🤍o yeah and then I went on about this whole thing about how much I appreciate yu trying and taking that time for me and all that. I just know what I’m doing. I can be stopped but no one’s gonna try that hard. or care that much. I know what’s best for me- I don’t care about me honestly- but I know if sumone knew me and my situation they’d agree- I’m sorry🩷I’d wait until I start remembering but my dad’s gonna be back soon. and I don’t really have a lot of time now🩷but yaaaayyyyy celebrating yu toooo💓💖💖💓💖🌈💕🩷💗🤍💗💜💜🌈🌈💜🎉💜🎉💜🎉🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈💓💓💓💖💖💖🎉🎉

@unassumingEyes

awwe. I’m sorry eyes </3 I know I hurt you. or you were just- hurting, and I wasn’t there for you. 

I won’t let you🩷I won’t let you try and help me. because I know your problems seem "small"💜compared to mine💕but i still know how hard it is. your "small"🤍problems aren’t that small eyes🩷and they also get too much- like yu said💜you go through stuff too and it’s hard to offer help when you can’t get help yourself first🩷I want you to get help. and you know friend I noticed that you’ve kinda got this mindset :')🤍or this way of thinking that makes it hard for you to let you get help🩷and it hurts to see you have to live with it >:🤍its hard to always be happy- it’s not even hard but just- impossible- but to be more okay than not is sumthing🩷

I love you <3🥔(shush no one gets the random potato but us ;-;/j/j)💗

@tearstruck

awwwwwwee😖💓I kept trying to remember where I know yu from :0💜I thought yu were 3 different people I’ve known on cups☠️🤍but Ive checked those convos and they all had different users- yu just feel so familiar :0🩷but eurgrhhrhrgh why’d yu describe me like that that makes me happy🥺💕💖idk what I do😭I just yap too much and it ends up being this really long essay✨idk. I talk too much :0💜and I think I use too many emojis🤍I literally just take the thoughts in my mind and dumb them on a post :P🤍sumone said that. everyone on cups was different irl xD💜which idk why but I’m the exact same😭I talk less irl but when I do talk I’m pretty much the same🐛🐛🐛💕okieokie I’m talking too much sorry ;-;🩷tell me if I make everything about myself TvT🤍I tend to do that T^T🩷im not the best now :'P💙but it’s okay.🤍reassuring words :D💓idk. I kinda wish it was that simple. you’re too sweet😭💖:0 how’d yu know :0💜🐾and yus it’s okay🐾💕💕yur so sweet💗I love you. <3 I’m gonna officially label yu as my new friend :3💕💜

im gonna go for today and-probably most of the week-I’m just really really tired now💜and I was okay with staying up because school got cancelled for tomorrow.🩷but I’m just really tired. so I’m gonna go to sleep and if I get the chance I’ll check cups🤍no one’s forced to reply. I just didn’t want to leave anyone unanswered or anything. goodnight everyone.💕💕I liked reading and replying to these.💗(im a bit too tired to re read over anything- so I’m sorry if there’s any mistakes or anything :0🤍)

 *deletes paragraph* . I should really stop. 

46 replies
unassumingEyes May 21st

@iloveyouxx okay, maybe i am kinda guilty of not being the best at getting help xD and maybe part of me does, admittedly, not believe you- or anyone- that my problems are not small. And yeah, i cant help you if i need help myself, thats a painful truth, but, and for me this is a big but, i feel like its- not easier, but better to hurt with each other than to hurt alone. Either way- tho i struggle with goodbyes- if a goodbye is what you need (and i only mean a goodbye from cups, or me, or us) i wont hold you back, and ill say all tje goodbyes you need with a hundred hugs and a hundred more potatoes

I love you frndo ❤️🥔

16 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 21st

@unassumingEyes

smh I got distracted. I get distracted so easily TvT🤍whoops :p🤍

whys this forum suddenly so positive xD I’m so randomly happy and I’ve been having the worse week of my life xD like yu know my dad- and he just been doing stuff and gotten a lot worse- and yu don’t know my school but gosh it’s a nightmare and I have an after school detention now for no reasun :p and the rumors and all that- and the bullying and so many tests- and the literal manic drama in my school☠️and I get pictures in my head. school’s really gloomy and dark now. everyone’s hurting everyone and everyone’s hurting. my brothers okayish- but now I’m getting nightmares of him TW offing him becos of my dad too and TvT but I’m so happy xD it’s okay xD🩷

awe💜eyes >: yur problems aren’t big or small- they’re valid- and a reasunable reasun to not be okay, or fine, or to want or need help🩷sumtimes I think….:0 there’re actually people thatre happy :0 most of the time :00 and idk. I can’t imagine it- but yu can’t just invalidate yurself💙it’s bad enough from others and there’s just so much hate and hurt in the world already- yu feel bad for anyone that tries to help yu like a listener even tho they want to help :p💕I think why I’m so happy now is becos when I’m sad I like making other people happy- and that makes me really happy- so I’ve just been complimenting sum random people irl and being really nice and that makes them happy and shows their nice side and that makes me happy lol💗I like making people happy :3 and I’m so sure whoever’s trying to wants to help💓I feel like sumtimes yu also don’t realize yur actually hurting/struggling :p💜and the fact just flies right through yur thoughts >: idk. I’m being too brainie🩷I agree :0 but sumtimes it’s hard too. idk. I think for me and sum other people too- when I’m hurting I end up isolating myself and pushing frends away.🤍so that’s hard too- but I know you’re right <3

idk. I’m trying to hold on- but it just gets hard. the world really isn’t that beautiful huh :')🤍I love you.❤️yaaayyy potatoes >:3🥔🥔❤️❤️I love you more.❤️🥔🥔❤️<33

15 replies
unassumingEyes May 21st

@iloveyouxx

smh I got distracted. I get distracted so easily TvT🤍whoops :p🤍

whys this forum suddenly so positive xD I’m so randomly happy and I’ve been having the worse week of my life xD like yu know my dad- and he just been doing stuff and gotten a lot worse- and yu don’t know my school but gosh it’s a nightmare and I have an after school detention now for no reasun :p and the rumors and all that- and the bullying and so many tests- and the literal manic drama in my school☠️and I get pictures in my head. school’s really gloomy and dark now. everyone’s hurting everyone and everyone’s hurting. my brothers okayish- but now I’m getting nightmares of him TW offing him becos of my dad too and TvT but I’m so happy xD it’s okay xD🩷

that sounds like a lot- nadia frnd- how is that oki- i hope u and ur brother will be okay ❤️ if i need to call a miracle for it to happen i will try-

awe💜eyes >: yur problems aren’t big or small- they’re valid- and a reasunable reasun to not be okay, or fine, or to want or need help🩷sumtimes I think….:0 there’re actually people thatre happy :0 most of the time :00 and idk. I can’t imagine it-

ppl being happy most of the time is a …strange concept. I feel like 90% of happiness in the world belongs to the little kids- and i cnt even be mad :p they deserve it the most i think. 

but yu can’t just invalidate yurself💙it’s bad enough from others and there’s just so much hate and hurt in the world already- yu feel bad for anyone that tries to help yu like a listener even tho they want to help :p💕I think why I’m so happy now is becos when I’m sad I like making other people happy- and that makes me really happy- so I’ve just been complimenting sum random people irl and being really nice and that makes them happy and shows their nice side and that makes me happy lol💗I like making people happy :3 and I’m so sure whoever’s trying to wants to help💓I feel like sumtimes yu also don’t realize yur actually hurting/struggling :p💜and the fact just flies right through yur thoughts >: idk. I’m being too brainie🩷I agree :0 but sumtimes it’s hard too. idk. I think for me and sum other people too- when I’m hurting I end up isolating myself and pushing frends away.🤍so that’s hard too- but I know you’re right <3

i kinda. I kinda go all. Like. How do i say this :p its like. I know if i say yea im hurt- ppl will start like trying to not burden me with their problems? And i hv a support system irl (of two ppl-) and others just…dont. So like. My hurt can wait? Kinda? I think since ive been 12. I just noticed. How everyone is hurting around me. Even mom. Even dad, strong as he seems. And i realized. Someday, something bad is going to happen. Ofcourse it is. It happens to everyone- but i realized. We’re already carrying so much hurt. If something more happens- its all going to just. Fall apart? And idk, i dont know, how that realization just turned into a whole “i have to be the one to stop everything from falling apart” but it just did. Something like a hero mindset? But not? I wont be a hero? Its like. Everyone’s hurting, and someone needs to step up, needs to keep life moving, and yeah maybe its not fair, but im the one with a support system behind me so im the one who should do it- forget if i can, i should, and eventually- someone will heal. And find their peace. And then they can step up. And i can hurt then. Like a gaurd system? Like- imagine night shifts, and im in the first shift, and sure im sleepy and exhausted, but someone needs to keep gaurd, and when the next person’s shift arrives, then i can relax. Kind of like that, but with life, and idk when the next person’s shift will come, or if ever, and really put that way i do wonder sometimesif theres no shifts and no need for all this and i just developed anxiety at 12 xD but again. I have no way of knowing so- 

i just dumped on u- i feel like deleting it- but also like. U have a right to know my nonsense- 

idk. I’m trying to hold on- but it just gets hard. the world really isn’t that beautiful huh :')🤍I love you.❤️yaaayyy potatoes >:3🥔🥔❤️❤️I love you more.❤️🥔🥔❤️<33

i feel like the world is tragically beautiful, or beautifully tragic, or both. That make sense?

nadia>>>potato 

but i give nadia potatos anyways- 

thank u for trying ❤️ smh i love you frndo <3 (ily most :p ily as i breathe- it will not stop till i do-)

14 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 21st

@unassumingEyes

heheh nu it’s not :3 it’s just a lil. it’s not much. also the random happiness went away. but it’s okie.💕and my dads still not back so :'P💜lolll nah my brothers okay xD I feel like you don’t know enough about my brother xD but yeah we have the same dad- he’s 2 years older than me, really, really, really, really popular at school :0 every time sumone sees me they go…☠️☠️ "😱😱yo that’s kabby’s sister!!!!🫵🫵🫵🫵😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱" su- alot of people have this last name :P so I don’t really care :P but my last name’s "elkabany" and they turned it into kabby and that’s what they call my brother :P he has like 4 social media accounts and he’s so popular there too- like he has enough followers to get money if he could☠️he’s aggressive, impatient and spoiled :p he does anything he can to annoy people and he TW beats up autistic and..to put this politely- "overweight" kids in my school- just anyone that seems like an easy target- then he complains about the head of year if she does sumthing about it- he doesn’t like anyone. he doesn’t care about anyone. he mocks me all the time for not having any friends(tho☠️I do☠️I know- it’s shocking-I became friends with sum people the past like week-)and other stuff. he hits me and has a mad temper :D he watches andrew tate then says things like "yeaheuaahaha ofcourse you’re in the kitchen😏🧼" "go make me a sandwich😎,women😎" "bruh go back to scrubbing dishes🥴" and he watched ishowspeed. he makes racist jokes all the time. idk. anywho enough about my brother :3💖

huh :0 looks for the dumping :0 I don’t consider that dumping💕it’s just talking :p💜or maybe I’m just a generally talkative persun xD🩷I understand🩷I liked that example- but not the point- I feel like >: this is a mindset that’s hard to get out of. reading this I was about to be like

"eueheguabanehwjskwjjwhwjakakm eyesssssssssssssss👹👹D:<"

becos eyes😭this is so sad😭the way you’ve been thinking for so long. but I decided to be nice with that~I understand🩷~/j/j/j okieokie but I actually do🩷💓okay nvm I just reread it😭I do understand💜but I don’t agree😭you can’t always try and act strong as if preparing yourself for sum huge tragedy😭eyes😭okay I know most friends would be all like "oh god buddy😞that sounds so hard😞" but see🤓I’m not most friends🤓☝️✨and I’ll just tell you :D stop it :D stop it :D just :D stop it. :D eyes🩷<3 sumthing bad will happen- but sumthing bad has already happened- and bad things have always happened. you said you thought it’d most likely be the death of sumone right💜? you were twelve- and maybe everyone around you was hurting but now you’re hurting too- and you can’t be the only one to shut that off to do idk- if yur family reacts how they’d already react to sumthing bad it wont be never ending plus eyes you can’t just fix how anything is :')🩷like yeah we know sumthing bad is gonna happen but nothings gonna change that because sumthing bad was always meant to happen. I feel like I might be taken the wrong way su I’ll stop xD💖I just feel bad.💕I hope one day yu can overcome this way of thinking :p💓<3

hm. I feel like that’s better than the way I see it xD💕I like beautifully tragic :3💖

nu I love you most :0 >:0 don’t deny my loafffff💜💓🍞💖💓💗💗🍞💜💕

11 replies
unassumingEyes May 21st

@iloveyouxx

Ok ur brother is...oof :0 oof- xD. How do i react lol- hes just oof- 

Also btw i cn totally relate to the whole "kabbys sister!!" Thing my sis was popular too so i was known as her sister it was so weird sbdvbd (and did harm to my self esteem lol-) 

I think the thing is i got this since i was 12 and had noone to talk to about it then so maybe i cld hv stopped thinking like this back then if someone tried to snap me out of it but by now its really hard- 

You are most definitely not most friends and i love you <3

Lol the stop its. Wish it was that easy xD

Yeah my dad got sick and i saw the reactions and went all

"My family will handle a death really, really badly and i need to do smth about it"-

I just. Gotta. Help- 

I mean i tell myself its a good thing that im self aware enough to know this kind of thinking is bad for me xD but that awareness doesnt change much? Like i agree with everything u said! I mean it! But i cant- apply that? And it definitely doesnt help that mom and sis dont care bout my problems xD so if i were to...look for help? From whom? My irl frnd maybe but... i cant mess up and lose her shes too...amazing xD 

Someday nadia frndo, ill take a step back instead of forward for once, and let someone else take the reigns. I dont see how or when, but i still do that uselessly painful thing called hope xD 

Me too <3

I was going to type @   iloafyouxx  by accident while tagging you shdhhd

Love you 🩷🩷🩷

(Smh my brain says thats not enough so imma send hugs and potatos too <33)

9 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 28th

@unassumingEyes

oof✨xD I like that description xD

eyes help I’m trying to not go to school tomorrow by making up an event TvT my dads not back yet but what if it doesn’t work😭

awe.💜I would’ve known you for- your veryvery big brains- :3🧠your brains so big eyes :0🧠💗idk how it fits- in your head xD I’m gonna keep saying that xD🧠✨🤯🩷/lh

I love you more. <33 yus I knuw- I’m very unique🤓☝️💕/lh/j

yu can look for help from meee😭😭I’d love to help😭😭and yus I skipped replying to a bunch- my brain hurts- I don’t think it’s as big as yours :p..

:0 I wonder if that’s an actual hoomanbean lmao :0 @iloafyouxx XD🩷I know it’s definitely not :p but what if XD💖

loaf🍞💕💜I love you too <33🩷💕💗yyaaaaaayyyy potatoes :00✨🥔💓💗🩷💜💓💓🩷💖🩷💗💕💜🥔✨🩷

8 replies
unassumingEyes May 28th

@iloveyouxx 

*aggressively hope your dad believes about the "event" and lets u stay home* 

*way too aggresively hopes-* 😇

Lol i just imagined if we were irl frnds and ur dad wld smday say to me smth like did u need nadia tried to trick me to stay home? And id just be likea yeah, did it work? I hope it worked xD 

Smh i have 0 brains minus the mean one idk what ur talking about xD 

Imma call mean brain: monkey brain

🐒

Potatoesssssss

I love you mostestestestestest 

You *are* unique and *amazing* 

Ok my brain blanked what else was i gonna say??

*compensates for it thru hugs 🫂* 

We shld change "snug as a bug in a rug" to "snug as a bug in a hug" 

xD 

Oh right the loaf!

The loafely loaf of iloafyouxx 🙃✨️

Potatoessssss 🥔

7 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 28th

@unassumingEyes

eyess😭😭help😭😭😭😭😭😭I’d die to not go to school oml it’s so insanely and painfully miserable😭😭😭😭😭😭😭my dad kinda believes it? because I’ve never lied about this before- or lied about much really- but then I told my grandpa becos basically him and my grandma are living with us for a while and my grandpa wakes up for fajr- which I know you get that cos you’re muslim-🩷and he wakes me up and I get ready for school from then- so I told my grandpa so he knew not to wake me up but then he went to my dad and asked him to check and make sure with the school like bro😭I swear I kinda just wanna go

🪂

🕳️

right now😭😭

sshtsuiyggsytoiyuhahoyushoygsobyg I wanna k.ms/notliteral  but dude no one even likes me like I mean it’s okay I get it I’m ugly and different and quiet and I just feel like a freak but I feel like all I’ve ever done to anyone was be ugly- but then again before everyone hated me I got compliments from strangers everyday and I was so ugly then- I know I’m not ugly but because I’m so depressed and miserable and emo :') inside it reflects on my outside? idk- idk why I’m even dumping on you-🩷

what :0 yu don’t have a mean brain :0💜not always having that positive outlook isn’t mean. and honestly eyes no one is 100% pure- I do care about everyone- so much- and I think I already said it sumwhere but I love everyone so much and I can’t even explain it- I care about you more than myself- and more than anything I love making people happy and just helping. it makes my heart happy. but- okay wait- oh yeah :0 sorry I’m still so slow today-🩷but like ofcourse when I’m in a bad mood I go to making others happy but sumtimes when I’m in a really bad mood I just start hating everyone and everything :')🤍I feel like everyone has a monkey brain- that’s a funny name xD💖but I feel like our monkey brain isn’t always really us-🤍and yes I did get this idea from a disney movie xD💕but you know how sum people say when you’re angry it’s like your mind telling you something you’re not ready to hear💕it doesn’t apply to everyone🩷

potaaaatttooeeessss🥔🥔🥔🥔✨✨✨

I love you mostestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestest

You *are* pointless and *no one cares

👍:3 :D✨

hugggsss🫂💕💕💗

snug as a bug in a hug :0✨🐞🫂💗

@iloafyouxx xD

woow!✨🩷✨🥔🩷🥔✨🥔🩷🥔✨🩷✨

6 replies
unassumingEyes May 29th

@iloveyouxx *super duper aggressively hopes you didn't have to go* 

whys ur grandpa fact checking everything xD smtimes mr.grandpa u just close ur eyes and believe ✨✨

everyone at your school just sounds mean fr :/ so what if ur ugly (no ur not this si hypothetical) idk why ppl cant be nice :/ be nice! Its easy! Fr i dealt 4years with creepy “friend” nd ive still treated her nicely there is! No excuse! 

Also nadia just cause ur different doesnt mean ur a freak u can be a good different u can be the besssst different

i get the whole caring about people :p not everyone for me lol some ppl are just - no - but smtimes i go all omg i love u and u deserve happiness and i will give it to u- 

but smtimes i hate everyone. 

Anyways :p 

potatooooooooes <3 

theyre so good fr

i loaf you, you loaf me, we’re a happy communityyy~ 🎶🎶


4 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 29th

@unassumingEyes

if yu get triggered by caps don’t read on :3

EYES EYES EYES SYE# EYESHSYWNWJJWHWJAKKAIWIWJWHWHWJ- I DIDNT GO I DIDNT GO- BUT IM NOT DOING IT AGAIN COS :0 SCARRY :0 BUT THEY BELIEVED ME AND I WOKE UP AT LIKE THE TIME I WOULDA BEEN IN SECOND PRIOD AND I WASNT- I WOULDVE BEEN IN ARABIC BY THEN and omg eyes- you don’t get how much I truly hate my arabic teacher :D BUT I WASNT THERE AND I EVEN REPEATED HYIUQWXFEBGUYFWQEXBUYGQXFWENDBUHKXEW IBDXWQ MY LIE TO OTHER PPLS IN MY FAMILY AND EVERYONE BELIEVED ME AND IM SO HAPPY WHGDINXUDV IWXFGEBIDBIGEXGUYWEDWGBEIHXCWEHIGUB

fr mr.grandpa just trust us✨👁️👄👁️

eyes :0 I got my new glasses :0 I can seee!!!!!!! :0 like I swear- I can see :0 I used to not see my hand infront of me- I’m nearsighted and I can’t see from far away so that was very bad :0 and I was very blind :0 but I can see!!! like I can see texture and details eyes😭I can see without leaning forward and coming up close😭😭I’m not blind anymore!!!!! I can see myself too😭also yeah my dad picked the glasses for sure but they actually don’t suck on me. I also realized darker color glasses look much much better on me :0 these are black/pink and they’re so shiny and pretty :3 and now that I can see I can also see how pale I literally am☠️and I realize what everyone meant☠️but there are whiter hoomans in my school too but apparently it’s that I’m "pale for an arab" ………..☠️😭😭😭??? everyone keeps adding that like-😭 and also why’re chamakis actually so ugly- like they’re hella ugly on the inside but I also now realize how cakey their makeup is☠️and honestly they’re not all that and now I’m confused on what I was crying about- I literally look better than them☠️huh xD dwdw it’ll ware off xD I’ll be depressed again in a minute xD🩷

while I’m not depressed- I feel like I’m kinda sad but happy I’m different :P becos fitting in in my school is so crazy eyes- it’s being 9 and vaping, jumping helpless kids, having a ton of piercings and wearing 39017261627 gallons of makeup, arguing with every teacher, talking bad about everyone you don’t know just cos, spreading rumors about the kind innocent randums, hating your best friends, why am I yapping so much- but yeah- I don’t wanna fit in.💜

sum people are very hate-able. :p💕

potttaatoeessss💕🥔✨<333

ikr! I love all potatoes- all of them🥔🥔💕💜 (つ╥﹏╥)つ🥔✨💜

%D0%BE.gifpotato-emmy.giftayvix-eye-twitch.gifI’ve used that filter so many times XD🥔before the app got deleted- their eyes are so prettyy💖🌈


3 replies
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unassumingEyes May 29th

@iloveyouxx “ You *are* pointless and *no one cares* ” that was the monkey brain nadia :p you are enough ❤️ and i care ❤️ shush the monkey :p 

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HopieRemi May 20th

@iloveyouxx hug-warm-hug.gif

2 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 21st

@HopieRemi

i love that gif so much🩷I use it a ton too💓

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I love this one too💗

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1 reply
HopieRemi May 21st

So cute !!!

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@iloveyouxx

Hey love I know we havent technically get the chance to talk but we did talk about talking I wish the best for you and for you to keep your head up and never let that crown fall! You are an excellent person and Im super duper happy your reading this message I'm sending : 0 Im proud of you for being here breathing 🫶 *Hugs if okay* 

9 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 21st

@Maeeeeebae999

ou yeah I still remember that convo :0💕yur pfps are always still so iconic hehe.💖🫶I’m su happy I’m reading yur message too💗hugs are okay💜I’m so proud of you too. <3 im happy you joined cups. yur like everyone’s best friend hehe <3🤍

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8 replies

@iloveyouxx 

Maybe I am like everyone best friend but there are quite a lot of people who hate me for no reason also thank you I love my pfps <3  

(Also for some odd reason today I feel like everyone and everything hates me) 

7 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 21st

@Maeeeeebae999

what >: who would hate you💜? if quite a lot of people hate you for no reasun than quite a lot of people can just go-

🪂

🕳️

because there’s no reasun for anyone to hate yu- you’re the best💗and those quite a lot of people can go *** themselves for all I care- they’re not worth any of your time or energy🩷and I know you can spend it on the good people💕sum people are just weirdly jealous :p you are literally gorgeous with a beautiful aura so makes sense <3 but why the hate smh.

i love your pfps too <3 I love this text hehe. but if you’d like that to just be yur thing I can get off of it💓🦕

fairydols.gif



6 replies

@iloveyouxx

Im internally screaming ur fr the nicest!!!  And ur sing the text I use I love that!!!! Im perfectly fine with you using it. hehe 🫶 You are fr amazing!! Thank you so much! 

5 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 28th

@Maeeeeebae999

maeee :0 I never got notified for this😭I’m sorrryyyyy- 

i ammmm🥺😭💕? you’re so sweet😭🩷but I was just being honest😭💜seriously tho lol💗

thankyu so much💓💓and yaaayyy I love this text :0✨💕

you’re acting like you’ve never met anyone honestly nice before/lh :’)🩷luvllyy🩷I was actually just being genuine🩷sum people are so insecure they find yur gorgeousness threatening :p it’s actual psychology. you’re literally so pretty :’)💕mature, kind :p then they feel the need and desire to put/take you down to make themselves feel better- it’s also actual psychology :p💗it’s kinda obvious for you tho🩷

its kinda pathetic honestly. and to be at that level- no matter how hard they try really you can never be there xD gosh sum people are just unbelievable. they’re really not worth it🩷



4 replies

@iloveyouxx

Its okay, Notifications can be funny 😢 But eventually we will find it! 

And yes you are Alot of people are but right now I'm appreciating you and your kindness because you are fr amazing 💕 

I was smiling as I read that part You made my confidence go 📈 Lol. Im super duper glad they're our people who share the same opinions as me! I don't know how life would feel if everyone was all mean and blah. I wish people would just be nice! Like what is the point of being mean? Tysm lovely for ur kinds words 🥹! Your fr amazing! 🫶


3 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 28th

@Maeeeeebae999

smh they can >:

awwe💕Yes

your confidence should be📈hehe. people thatre just mean just confuse me- I don’t get them. ikr being nice is so much easier too! :’)🩷you’re amazing too💗I know I’d feel amazing if I were you :p💕lol people like yu give me hope in this *** up humanity 🐛✨💕

2 replies

@iloveyouxx

: 0 Super glad nice people give you hope - Wait that means u give yourself hope! Lol Love you /p Hope life is treating u well!

1 reply
iloveyouxx OP May 28th

@Maeeeeebae999

btw idk where the "Yes" came from in my reply T^T🩷

awwwwwwwwweee (╥﹏╥)💕💕love you too/p💜life is brutal. but it’s okay🐛🐛💜

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unassumingEyes May 21st

@iloveyouxx okay, maybe i am kinda guilty of not being the best at getting help xD and maybe part of me does, admittedly, not believe you- or anyone- that my problems are not small. And yeah, i cant help you if i need help myself, thats a painful truth, but, and for me this is a big but, i feel like its- not easier, but better to hurt with each other than to hurt alone. Either way- tho i struggle with goodbyes- if a goodbye is what you need (and i only mean a goodbye from cups, or me, or us) i wont hold you back, and ill say all tje goodbyes you need with a hundred hugs and a hundred more potatoes

I love you frndo ❤️🥔

2 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 21st

@unassumingEyes

silly eyes internet xD💖give me a minute to reply :0💕

1 reply
unassumingEyes May 21st

@iloveyouxx take your time <3

(this better not post twice!) 

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@iloveyouxx oh you do know me a bit? that's nice, because i was quite hesitant to post here thinking you may not know me and may not want to hear something from a total stranger. to be honest i may not know you very well but i think i've seen some of your poems or something on the forums.

i don't know how, but i somehow just get it when someone says they want to "leave". maybe because i've felt like that for years at this point and i deal with these thoughts a lot, but whatever. i get just how indirect we can be when we let people know about our plans to leave. not everyone understands that, but hey, i'm sure i'm not the only one to get it. and i get why we sometimes don't say much and say stuff indirectly. honestly speaking though, i don't think reporting people for these thoughts or referring them and leaving them alone to deal with it helps. i feel like it might just make things worse, especially if we need someone to listen and understand.

i feel like deep down you know that this is not what's best for you. i might not know your situation, but i realise that it has to be something very hard. but can you please hold on for a bit? maybe just for your friends on cups who you have grown very dear to? i am sure they'll miss you a lot. i understand that you feel like you don't care anymore, but people here do care about you. i might be a bit of a stranger, but i care. i wont push you to talk, but if you want to talk, know that i'm here. 💙

5 replies
unassumingEyes May 21st

@exuberantBlackberry9105 smh my reply didnt post? @iloveyouxx i agree with this^ and i can gaurantee i wld miss u a ton nadia. A loooooooooot-

And. I kinda did understand. But- i get scared. Of saying the wrong thing, or making it worse, or idk. Messing up. And its not fair on you to have me mess up- so instead i do the dumb thing nd pretend i didnt get it- but thats not better-

2 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 21st

@unassumingEyes

xD eyes internet is very silly.💗I didn’t read it yet :0 I will hold on 💕

mm idk :') Im really replaceable. and. very easy to get over. and move on from. or maybe yu don’t have to move on :p I don’t think I’m that big of a part in anyone’s life hehe. 🤍

heheh how silly yu are is so cutu xD💜smhhh trust yurself >: just say what yu think and how yu feel. that’s what I do🐛🐛🐛🐛💕but yu don’t have to💕I’ll still luv yu either way.❤️🥔


1 reply
unassumingEyes May 21st

@iloveyouxx

u dont- i dont think anyones replaceable. Or easy to move on from. I mean. I never met my paternal grandmother. But ive noticed- the gap in my paternal family. The way. Ppl just- expect her to be right there even after all these years. The way dad says to my mom, “you should try my moms recipe for this dish-“ and then pauses- like he remembers- and then says- “i wish we had her recipes…” and it gets kinda quiet. Cuz for a second. He forgot she isnt here anymore. And. Theres a million foods in the world. But none of them will taste the same to him as hers did. You know? People have an impact. You do too- like. Id remember you when i see a potato around. Or when i say do not- donut!- be like me. Or when someone uses lots of emojies, or teeny text. And this is rlly long but i wanted to tell u one more thing- 

i have internal narratives. Directed to certain ppl. As tho i am talking to them tho they cnt read my mind, obv-. I have…one for sis, which is just random observations of my day-, one for my irl frnd, which is about like. Life observations xD. Cuz shes smart nd gets me. And now- one for you-. Idk how my brain chooses who to talk to. But yeah theres one for you- and it talks about the randomest things, really. If u were to go- somehow- id still be talking to u- and thats. Noone can take that place. Also- smtimes when talking to my sis i almost slip up- i almost say, “nadia myt like that movie she watches horror” and then i go all- sis doesnt know nadia-! xD 

Im sorry that was so long- and no. I dont trust myself. But for u ill add a yet to that sentence. I donut trust myself- yet 

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iloveyouxx OP May 21st

@exuberantBlackberry9105

huh nu I talk to strangers all the time it’s okay :0💜(I phrased that horribly I know :>🩷) and yus I do write a lot of poems.💕I’ve seen sum of yur forums too. I think that’s when I first saw yu on cups.🤍

it so breaks my heart that yu relate😞</3 and have felt like that for years >:💜not whatever🩷don’t say that💕/lh we can always talk about yu too😞💙I agree sm. especially for leaving me alone like it’s "giving me space" when I don’t need it :')? idk. everyone just "leaves me alone" when I’m at my lowest like I need it but I don’t want it. I guess it means no one has to deal with me anymore.

I’m sorry- I stopped there but then had to go for so long. >: I’m back- I’ll just reply to the rest now🩷

tw.

awe. :') I had full on plans to do the same "leaving" when I was 6. except they were all really dumb ideas. I’ve held on for so long. I’m sure no one will miss me. and I’m sorry but it’s so hard for me to believe that anyone cares. no one’s ever given me an answer- to why they care about me. and I’m so confused because why would you care about me? I’m just sumone.🩷I know why I care and I know I care but I don’t get it for others. idk. it’s confusing.💜when I say the world really isn’t that beautiful- it’s not like I walked in expecting sumthing. I’ve never walked into an experience with a positive thought. but I swear to you :') the world I’ve known. it’s just so horrible friend :') it’s so horrible and disgusting and cruel- and its all I’ve ever seen. we live in a world where 5-8 year olds kill themselves. toddlers get rap.ed and kids get abused to the point of death. people are scared. I’m scared. or I was-but I can’t be. I can’t watch and I can’t take it. I can’t go through it or watch anyone else go through it too because it’s not gonna get better. it’s not gonna get better. I appreciate yu being here💖but I’m not doing that to you. or anyone ever again. I’m too much.

Im gonna go for a while- I’ll be back tho-💕take care💕


1 reply

@iloveyouxx hey, writing poems needs a lot of creativity and talent, be proud of yourself for that. not everyone can write poems, and your writing skills are definitely something that make you unique. please don't forget that.

you don't have to feel bad because i can relate, i mentioned it with the intention of helping you feel less alone. i may have felt this way for years, but i'm still here somehow and am trying to keep going. and i hear that you've probably been feeling this way for years too, since you mentioned that you had plans when you were 6. and you've sure held on a really long time, i'm proud of you for that. we might have a bit of something in common, we've both had plans to leave from a young age, but we've been holding on. i don't know how old you are, but i know you have been holding on for a lot longer than i have (since i mostly had plans after i turned 11, so it's just 3 years for me but clearly a lot longer for you). i believe you can keep holding on. please.

i totally agree with you on people apparently giving us space when we don't need it. it doesn't help the situation. sometimes it feels like nobody's really there when you most need them. i don't know whether or not this is actually true because there are some people who really do want to help when you need it (but sometimes they are unable to even though they want to), but yes, it still feels like that sometimes. sometimes people on cups stop talking to us and leave us alone just the moment we mention the seven letter word, without even asking if we are in danger at that given point of time, and leave us alone with those helplines. and it doesn't really help because sometimes we just need someone to talk to and keep us distracted from our 'seven letter word thoughts'. plus sometimes talking about it helps. shutting up convos about it doesn't.

i am totally sure that people will miss you if you leave. just look at your friends telling you so many times that they will miss you, look at them telling you that they love you. you are loved and you will very much be missed if you leave. and no, you are not replaceable. it's something i have learnt while being on cups. i used to think "come on, there are so many people out here, surely there will be some two people who are exactly the same. it means we arent unique and we're replaceable" but as i have made and lost many friends here, i have realised that no two people are exactly the same. i have never found replacements to the friends i have lost (by losing friends, here, i mean they left cups and i don't know about the rest). and i still miss them. i am totally sure your friends will miss you the same way. sometimes i feel like no one would miss me if i was gone, and maybe some people like my parents or classmates might not, but i know my friends on cups will. you need to know that too.

i get that it is extremely hard to believe that anybody truly cares about you, it's hard for me too sometimes. i feel like the reason no one answers the question of why they care is because it's hard to know exactly why we care when we truly do. i guess many of us don't really exactly know why we care. if you know, i think that is really an amazing thing. i feel like for me, care just naturally comes around sometimes when there's this true sense of two-way understanding.

i know the world feels so horrible sometimes. and really, a lot of horrible things happen on here. some people are incredibly cruel, they literally enjoy making others feel bad, which really is a terrible thing. but there are some good people out here too. i always wonder where those good people really are because i only ever find good people on 7 cups. but people on here are real people so surely some good people exist out here in this world. but they are sadly so very hard to find and even if you do, they may not be part of your daily life. and that's really unfortunate to be honest.

though i cant be totally be sure, from what you say, i think you have had some horrible stuff happen to you and seen it happen to others. i am truly very sorry about that. you seriously don't deserve that. i know you feel like you can't take it anymore, i actually feel you there. and i'm dunno what to say. i am never going to tell you something which i myself don't believe in. so sorry, but i don't think i have anything meaningful to say here.

hey, what do you mean by "but I’m not doing that to you. or anyone ever again"?? what have you even done to me?

i think this is a very long post of mine and i feel like maybe i should shorten it but then i don't want to cut out parts of it that might actually be meaningful in a way. you don't have to pressure yourself to read it or respond to it. i'm just trying to tell you that i understand. maybe i'm not doing it too well. but yes, if you want to talk, i'm here. don't be afraid to reach out.

take care. please do take care of yourself, seriously. 💜

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Tinywhisper11 May 21st

@iloveyouxx I love you ❤❤

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5 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 21st

@Tinywhisper11

yayyyy teenie❤️i love you more❤️❤️

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4 replies
Tinywhisper11 May 21st

@iloveyouxx 

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3 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 21st

@Tinywhisper11

awww- wait- what D:😭teenie😭runs away with little feet D:

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2 replies
Tinywhisper11 May 21st

@iloveyouxx 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 

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1 reply
iloveyouxx OP May 21st

@Tinywhisper11

😭😂😂❤️❤️

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tearstruck May 23rd

@iloveyouxx nadiaaa <3 I'm so so glad to hear from you <3 Sending so so so much love 💗 hugs, cats, whatever you need, you deserve everything 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷and awww yaayy my new friend💖💖

You're not replaceable at all, you're you, and amazing (and sweet and a cat-lover and poetry-writer) so many of us care about you so much <3<3<3 and awwww its true, you are so genuine, and I think its really sweet that you just write your thoughts <3 and noo don't worryy talk as much as you want and I'll always listen :) 
I know its not simple, you're very strong to have got this far <3 I'm so so sorry, that you have been through this much, and since so young too, I'm sorry 😔💔 not everything in the world is so bad though, you can keep going, I believe in you :) and maybe when you're old enough to have a safer and happier life you can look back and be proud of how strong you were, to make it through everything and be such an incredible person ❤️ 
Awww :) I've seen you around 'forumland' so so much and as a friends' friend, also we did chat a tiny bit on my L-acc about adorable cat gifs ;);) Do you have a cat, by the way? You shoulddddd or maybe you could help out in a kitty rescue or something :)🐾💕💖💖 Sending soso much love <3 and kittens hugs again hehe 🐱😽🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
You said that you could be stopped, if someone tried hard enough 🩷 if theres anything I can do at all just tell me, I'm here for you, I mean it 💗 and so so many of your friends here too 🩷🩷 *lots of tight hugs* <3



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