last post.

@iloveyouxx

@unassumingEyes

oof✨xD I like that description xD

eyes help I’m trying to not go to school tomorrow by making up an event TvT my dads not back yet but what if it doesn’t work😭

awe.💜I would’ve known you for- your veryvery big brains- :3🧠your brains so big eyes :0🧠💗idk how it fits- in your head xD I’m gonna keep saying that xD🧠✨🤯🩷/lh

I love you more. <33 yus I knuw- I’m very unique🤓☝️💕/lh/j

yu can look for help from meee😭😭I’d love to help😭😭and yus I skipped replying to a bunch- my brain hurts- I don’t think it’s as big as yours :p..

:0 I wonder if that’s an actual hoomanbean lmao :0 @iloafyouxx XD🩷I know it’s definitely not :p but what if XD💖

loaf🍞💕💜I love you too <33🩷💕💗yyaaaaaayyyy potatoes :00✨🥔💓💗🩷💜💓💓🩷💖🩷💗💕💜🥔✨🩷

@iloveyouxx 

*aggressively hope your dad believes about the "event" and lets u stay home* 

*way too aggresively hopes-* 😇

Lol i just imagined if we were irl frnds and ur dad wld smday say to me smth like did u need nadia tried to trick me to stay home? And id just be likea yeah, did it work? I hope it worked xD 

Smh i have 0 brains minus the mean one idk what ur talking about xD 

Imma call mean brain: monkey brain

🐒

Potatoesssssss

I love you mostestestestestest 

You *are* unique and *amazing* 

Ok my brain blanked what else was i gonna say??

*compensates for it thru hugs 🫂* 

We shld change "snug as a bug in a rug" to "snug as a bug in a hug" 

xD 

Oh right the loaf!

The loafely loaf of iloafyouxx 🙃✨️

Potatoessssss 🥔

@unassumingEyes

eyess😭😭help😭😭😭😭😭😭I’d die to not go to school oml it’s so insanely and painfully miserable😭😭😭😭😭😭😭my dad kinda believes it? because I’ve never lied about this before- or lied about much really- but then I told my grandpa becos basically him and my grandma are living with us for a while and my grandpa wakes up for fajr- which I know you get that cos you’re muslim-🩷and he wakes me up and I get ready for school from then- so I told my grandpa so he knew not to wake me up but then he went to my dad and asked him to check and make sure with the school like bro😭I swear I kinda just wanna go

🪂

🕳️

right now😭😭

sshtsuiyggsytoiyuhahoyushoygsobyg I wanna k.ms/notliteral  but dude no one even likes me like I mean it’s okay I get it I’m ugly and different and quiet and I just feel like a freak but I feel like all I’ve ever done to anyone was be ugly- but then again before everyone hated me I got compliments from strangers everyday and I was so ugly then- I know I’m not ugly but because I’m so depressed and miserable and emo :') inside it reflects on my outside? idk- idk why I’m even dumping on you-🩷

what :0 yu don’t have a mean brain :0💜not always having that positive outlook isn’t mean. and honestly eyes no one is 100% pure- I do care about everyone- so much- and I think I already said it sumwhere but I love everyone so much and I can’t even explain it- I care about you more than myself- and more than anything I love making people happy and just helping. it makes my heart happy. but- okay wait- oh yeah :0 sorry I’m still so slow today-🩷but like ofcourse when I’m in a bad mood I go to making others happy but sumtimes when I’m in a really bad mood I just start hating everyone and everything :')🤍I feel like everyone has a monkey brain- that’s a funny name xD💖but I feel like our monkey brain isn’t always really us-🤍and yes I did get this idea from a disney movie xD💕but you know how sum people say when you’re angry it’s like your mind telling you something you’re not ready to hear💕it doesn’t apply to everyone🩷

potaaaatttooeeessss🥔🥔🥔🥔✨✨✨

I love you mostestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestest

You *are* pointless and *no one cares* 

👍:3 :D✨

hugggsss🫂💕💕💗

snug as a bug in a hug :0✨🐞🫂💗

@iloafyouxx xD

woow!✨🩷✨🥔🩷🥔✨🥔🩷🥔✨🩷✨

@iloveyouxx *super duper aggressively hopes you didn't have to go* 

whys ur grandpa fact checking everything xD smtimes mr.grandpa u just close ur eyes and believe ✨✨

everyone at your school just sounds mean fr :/ so what if ur ugly (no ur not this si hypothetical) idk why ppl cant be nice :/ be nice! Its easy! Fr i dealt 4years with creepy “friend” nd ive still treated her nicely there is! No excuse! 

Also nadia just cause ur different doesnt mean ur a freak u can be a good different u can be the besssst different

i get the whole caring about people :p not everyone for me lol some ppl are just - no - but smtimes i go all omg i love u and u deserve happiness and i will give it to u- 

but smtimes i hate everyone. 

Anyways :p 

potatooooooooes <3 

theyre so good fr

i loaf you, you loaf me, we’re a happy communityyy~ 🎶🎶

@unassumingEyes

if yu get triggered by caps don’t read on :3

_{EYES EYES EYES SYE# EYESHSYWNWJJWHWJAKKAIWIWJWHWHWJ- I DIDNT GO I DIDNT GO- BUT IM NOT DOING IT AGAIN COS :0 SCARRY :0 BUT THEY BELIEVED ME AND I WOKE UP AT LIKE THE TIME I WOULDA BEEN IN SECOND PRIOD AND I WASNT- I WOULDVE BEEN IN ARABIC BY THEN and omg eyes- you don’t get how much I truly hate my arabic teacher :D BUT I WASNT THERE AND I EVEN REPEATED HYIUQWXFEBGUYFWQEXBUYGQXFWENDBUHKXEW IBDXWQ MY LIE TO OTHER PPLS IN MY FAMILY AND EVERYONE BELIEVED ME AND IM SO HAPPY WHGDINXUDV IWXFGEBIDBIGEXGUYWEDWGBEIHXCWEHIGUB}

fr mr.grandpa just trust us✨👁️👄👁️

eyes :0 I got my new glasses :0 I can seee!!!!!!! :0 like I swear- I can see :0 I used to not see my hand infront of me- I’m nearsighted and I can’t see from far away so that was very bad :0 and I was very blind :0 but I can see!!! like I can see texture and details eyes😭I can see without leaning forward and coming up close😭😭I’m not blind anymore!!!!! I can see myself too😭also yeah my dad picked the glasses for sure but they actually don’t suck on me. I also realized darker color glasses look much much better on me :0 these are black/pink and they’re so shiny and pretty :3 and now that I can see I can also see how pale I literally am☠️and I realize what everyone meant☠️but there are whiter hoomans in my school too but apparently it’s that I’m "pale for an arab" ………..☠️😭😭😭??? everyone keeps adding that like-😭 and also why’re chamakis actually so ugly- like they’re hella ugly on the inside but I also now realize how cakey their makeup is☠️and honestly they’re not all that and now I’m confused on what I was crying about- I literally look better than them☠️huh xD dwdw it’ll ware off xD I’ll be depressed again in a minute xD🩷

while I’m not depressed- I feel like I’m kinda sad but happy I’m different :P becos fitting in in my school is so crazy eyes- it’s being 9 and vaping, jumping helpless kids, having a ton of piercings and wearing 39017261627 gallons of makeup, arguing with every teacher, talking bad about everyone you don’t know just cos, spreading rumors about the kind innocent randums, hating your best friends, why am I yapping so much- but yeah- I don’t wanna fit in.💜

sum people are very hate-able. :p💕

potttaatoeessss💕🥔✨<333

ikr! I love all potatoes- all of them🥔🥔💕💜 (つ╥﹏╥)つ🥔✨💜

I’ve used that filter so many times XD🥔before the app got deleted- their eyes are so prettyy💖🌈

@iloveyouxx omggg it worked yayyyyyyyyy ✨✨✨ and all that aggresive hoping paid off 🎉🎉 congrats on not being at school! 🎉🎉🎉

omg you can see! That must feel amazing fr im glad the glasses suit you 💕💕 our amazing queen nadia can now see her amazingness bright and clear 🥳🥳

*yeets ur school* yea we are not doing that. I mean bye why are the 9yr olds vaping??? Smbody help those kids fr :0 and i had bullies but it sounds like every two ppl in ur schools a bully which is like h u h- we had like one, two bullies per class so this is like what- xD no wonder everyone on here hates school smh i was always like but schools such a safe place away from home xD nvm yalls school is 🗑️. Smh schools like this make me get all impatient to establish my own smday ( i feel like such a child :p look at me im gonna establish a school. Lol. Childish. Unreasonable exoectations. Immature. Etc. still want it real bad :p) 

yaaas u are not ugly and u are the best different and i love you 🩷 remember you are way better than icecream :p 

smhsmh im forgetting smth arent i? I got so excited to reply i didnt copy ur post xD. 

*double triple quadruple hugs if oki*

💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃

@unassumingEyes

forrealllssss now I’m gonna tell you every time I need sumthing xD your aggressive hoping saved me🎉🎉🎉💕💕🎉🎉✨🌈🌈🩷🎉🎉

aawwwee yaaaaayyyyy i can see!💕💕🎉🥳🥳

9year olds are year5s- and btw I’ve seen a what looked like a max 5year old vape in a mall in my city before :p his nanny was there and idk where bros parents went but seriously what’s up with this time ajsuijsuinsu- :') I don’t wanna say generation cos that just sounds old-. yu do know people in my school sell vapes- that and blades- they make so much too. they’re not just bullies- they’re just so much worse- :') they find so much joy in other peoples pain eyes- and no they don’t have like home issues or anything actually. it’s just who they are. *** the light out of the ones who don’t deserve it- no one does. I heard them talking about a senior girl in the school that unalived herself and laughing about it. anywho. 

awwwwe🥺💜💕remember yu are way better than french fries :p🍟💕

XD it’s okayyyyy- yeaaayyyy eyes huggggssss🩷💃🏻💃🏻🕺💃🏻🕺🌈🩷

@iloveyouxx 

Yass i will aggresively hope whenever it is required 👏👏

:0 ppl in ur school need serious disciplining...and a hundred mental health tests because why :0 

:0000000000 

Waaaat i cnt be better than french fries theyre french fries :0 im so honoured 😭❤️🍟🍟

@iloveyouxx “ You *are* pointless and *no one cares* ” that was the monkey brain nadia :p you are enough ❤️ and i care ❤️ shush the monkey :p 

@iloveyouxx okay, maybe i am kinda guilty of not being the best at getting help xD and maybe part of me does, admittedly, not believe you- or anyone- that my problems are not small. And yeah, i cant help you if i need help myself, thats a painful truth, but, and for me this is a big but, i feel like its- not easier, but better to hurt with each other than to hurt alone. Either way- tho i struggle with goodbyes- if a goodbye is what you need (and i only mean a goodbye from cups, or me, or us) i wont hold you back, and ill say all tje goodbyes you need with a hundred hugs and a hundred more potatoes

I love you frndo ❤️🥔

@unassumingEyes

silly eyes internet xD💖give me a minute to reply :0💕

@iloveyouxx take your time <3

(this better not post twice!) 

@iloveyouxx oh you do know me a bit? that's nice, because i was quite hesitant to post here thinking you may not know me and may not want to hear something from a total stranger. to be honest i may not know you very well but i think i've seen some of your poems or something on the forums.

i don't know how, but i somehow just get it when someone says they want to "leave". maybe because i've felt like that for years at this point and i deal with these thoughts a lot, but whatever. i get just how indirect we can be when we let people know about our plans to leave. not everyone understands that, but hey, i'm sure i'm not the only one to get it. and i get why we sometimes don't say much and say stuff indirectly. honestly speaking though, i don't think reporting people for these thoughts or referring them and leaving them alone to deal with it helps. i feel like it might just make things worse, especially if we need someone to listen and understand.

i feel like deep down you know that this is not what's best for you. i might not know your situation, but i realise that it has to be something very hard. but can you please hold on for a bit? maybe just for your friends on cups who you have grown very dear to? i am sure they'll miss you a lot. i understand that you feel like you don't care anymore, but people here do care about you. i might be a bit of a stranger, but i care. i wont push you to talk, but if you want to talk, know that i'm here. 💙

@exuberantBlackberry9105 smh my reply didnt post? @iloveyouxx i agree with this^ and i can gaurantee i wld miss u a ton nadia. A loooooooooot-

And. I kinda did understand. But- i get scared. Of saying the wrong thing, or making it worse, or idk. Messing up. And its not fair on you to have me mess up- so instead i do the dumb thing nd pretend i didnt get it- but thats not better-

@unassumingEyes

xD eyes internet is very silly.💗I didn’t read it yet :0 I will hold on 💕

mm idk :') Im really replaceable. and. very easy to get over. and move on from. or maybe yu don’t have to move on :p I don’t think I’m that big of a part in anyone’s life hehe. 🤍

heheh how silly yu are is so cutu xD💜smhhh trust yurself >: just say what yu think and how yu feel. that’s what I do🐛🐛🐛🐛💕but yu don’t have to💕I’ll still luv yu either way.❤️🥔

@iloveyouxx

u dont- i dont think anyones replaceable. Or easy to move on from. I mean. I never met my paternal grandmother. But ive noticed- the gap in my paternal family. The way. Ppl just- expect her to be right there even after all these years. The way dad says to my mom, “you should try my moms recipe for this dish-“ and then pauses- like he remembers- and then says- “i wish we had her recipes…” and it gets kinda quiet. Cuz for a second. He forgot she isnt here anymore. And. Theres a million foods in the world. But none of them will taste the same to him as hers did. You know? People have an impact. You do too- like. Id remember you when i see a potato around. Or when i say do not- donut!- be like me. Or when someone uses lots of emojies, or teeny text. And this is rlly long but i wanted to tell u one more thing- 

i have internal narratives. Directed to certain ppl. As tho i am talking to them tho they cnt read my mind, obv-. I have…one for sis, which is just random observations of my day-, one for my irl frnd, which is about like. Life observations xD. Cuz shes smart nd gets me. And now- one for you-. Idk how my brain chooses who to talk to. But yeah theres one for you- and it talks about the randomest things, really. If u were to go- somehow- id still be talking to u- and thats. Noone can take that place. Also- smtimes when talking to my sis i almost slip up- i almost say, “nadia myt like that movie she watches horror” and then i go all- sis doesnt know nadia-! xD 

Im sorry that was so long- and no. I dont trust myself. But for u ill add a yet to that sentence. I donut trust myself- yet 

@exuberantBlackberry9105

huh nu I talk to strangers all the time it’s okay :0💜(I phrased that horribly I know :>🩷) and yus I do write a lot of poems.💕I’ve seen sum of yur forums too. I think that’s when I first saw yu on cups.🤍

it so breaks my heart that yu relate😞</3 and have felt like that for years >:💜not whatever🩷don’t say that💕/lh we can always talk about yu too😞💙I agree sm. especially for leaving me alone like it’s "giving me space" when I don’t need it :')? idk. everyone just "leaves me alone" when I’m at my lowest like I need it but I don’t want it. I guess it means no one has to deal with me anymore.

I’m sorry- I stopped there but then had to go for so long. >: I’m back- I’ll just reply to the rest now🩷

tw.

_{awe. :') I had full on plans to do the same "leaving" when I was 6. except they were all really dumb ideas. I’ve held on for so long. I’m sure no one will miss me. and I’m sorry but it’s so hard for me to believe that anyone cares. no one’s ever given me an answer- to why they care about me. and I’m so confused because why would you care about me? I’m just sumone.🩷I know why I care and I know I care but I don’t get it for others. idk. it’s confusing.💜when I say the world really isn’t that beautiful- it’s not like I walked in expecting sumthing. I’ve never walked into an experience with a positive thought. but I swear to you :') the world I’ve known. it’s just so horrible friend :') it’s so horrible and disgusting and cruel- and its all I’ve ever seen. we live in a world where 5-8 year olds kill themselves. toddlers get rap.ed and kids get abused to the point of death. people are scared. I’m scared. or I was-but I can’t be. I can’t watch and I can’t take it. I can’t go through it or watch anyone else go through it too because it’s not gonna get better. it’s not gonna get better. I appreciate yu being here💖but I’m not doing that to you. or anyone ever again. I’m too much.}

Im gonna go for a while- I’ll be back tho-💕take care💕

@iloveyouxx hey, writing poems needs a lot of creativity and talent, be proud of yourself for that. not everyone can write poems, and your writing skills are definitely something that make you unique. please don't forget that.

you don't have to feel bad because i can relate, i mentioned it with the intention of helping you feel less alone. i may have felt this way for years, but i'm still here somehow and am trying to keep going. and i hear that you've probably been feeling this way for years too, since you mentioned that you had plans when you were 6. and you've sure held on a really long time, i'm proud of you for that. we might have a bit of something in common, we've both had plans to leave from a young age, but we've been holding on. i don't know how old you are, but i know you have been holding on for a lot longer than i have (since i mostly had plans after i turned 11, so it's just 3 years for me but clearly a lot longer for you). i believe you can keep holding on. please.

i totally agree with you on people apparently giving us space when we don't need it. it doesn't help the situation. sometimes it feels like nobody's really there when you most need them. i don't know whether or not this is actually true because there are some people who really do want to help when you need it (but sometimes they are unable to even though they want to), but yes, it still feels like that sometimes. sometimes people on cups stop talking to us and leave us alone just the moment we mention the seven letter word, without even asking if we are in danger at that given point of time, and leave us alone with those helplines. and it doesn't really help because sometimes we just need someone to talk to and keep us distracted from our 'seven letter word thoughts'. plus sometimes talking about it helps. shutting up convos about it doesn't.

i am totally sure that people will miss you if you leave. just look at your friends telling you so many times that they will miss you, look at them telling you that they love you. you are loved and you will very much be missed if you leave. and no, you are not replaceable. it's something i have learnt while being on cups. i used to think "come on, there are so many people out here, surely there will be some two people who are exactly the same. it means we arent unique and we're replaceable" but as i have made and lost many friends here, i have realised that no two people are exactly the same. i have never found replacements to the friends i have lost (by losing friends, here, i mean they left cups and i don't know about the rest). and i still miss them. i am totally sure your friends will miss you the same way. sometimes i feel like no one would miss me if i was gone, and maybe some people like my parents or classmates might not, but i know my friends on cups will. you need to know that too.

i get that it is extremely hard to believe that anybody truly cares about you, it's hard for me too sometimes. i feel like the reason no one answers the question of why they care is because it's hard to know exactly why we care when we truly do. i guess many of us don't really exactly know why we care. if you know, i think that is really an amazing thing. i feel like for me, care just naturally comes around sometimes when there's this true sense of two-way understanding.

i know the world feels so horrible sometimes. and really, a lot of horrible things happen on here. some people are incredibly cruel, they literally enjoy making others feel bad, which really is a terrible thing. but there are some good people out here too. i always wonder where those good people really are because i only ever find good people on 7 cups. but people on here are real people so surely some good people exist out here in this world. but they are sadly so very hard to find and even if you do, they may not be part of your daily life. and that's really unfortunate to be honest.

though i cant be totally be sure, from what you say, i think you have had some horrible stuff happen to you and seen it happen to others. i am truly very sorry about that. you seriously don't deserve that. i know you feel like you can't take it anymore, i actually feel you there. and i'm dunno what to say. i am never going to tell you something which i myself don't believe in. so sorry, but i don't think i have anything meaningful to say here.

hey, what do you mean by "but I’m not doing that to you. or anyone ever again"?? what have you even done to me?

i think this is a very long post of mine and i feel like maybe i should shorten it but then i don't want to cut out parts of it that might actually be meaningful in a way. you don't have to pressure yourself to read it or respond to it. i'm just trying to tell you that i understand. maybe i'm not doing it too well. but yes, if you want to talk, i'm here. don't be afraid to reach out.

take care. please do take care of yourself, seriously. 💜

@iloveyouxx I love you ❤❤

@Tinywhisper11

yayyyy teenie❤️i love you more❤️❤️

@iloveyouxx 

@Tinywhisper11

awww- wait- what D:😭teenie😭runs away with little feet D:

@iloveyouxx 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 

@Tinywhisper11

😭😂😂❤️❤️

@iloveyouxx nadiaaa <3 I'm so so glad to hear from you <3 Sending so so so much love 💗 hugs, cats, whatever you need, you deserve everything 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷and awww yaayy my new friend💖💖

@iloveyouxx

Nadia 🥺 hugs if okie

@VictoriaLove7

awwwwe🩷hugs are okie💓I remember yu- yur my friend’s friend💗but I’m just gonna- labels yu as my new friend too :3💜<3/lh💕

@iloveyouxx

yes yes, me your friend friend, Nadia \(..◜ᴗ◝..)/ *huggiess*

@VictoriaLove7

awwwwwee yeyyyyyy ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)💗luv you friend<3💕/p

I love chibird :0🌈🩷🐾

@VictoriaLove7

i forgot to say-

those are so inanely cutuu💓

I love chibird and milkmochabear and mocha cat and chibi cat :3💜they have the best cutu-est and most heartwarming gifs💗<33

@iloveyouxx

me also loves the milky mocha 🥛🧸, & the Sunshine 🌞❤ rainbow 🌈 that you sent up there (me saves it hehe \(^-^)/, & Sunshine 🌞❤ theme like this one 

@VictoriaLove7

hehe🥛🧸🐾💓I do loaf the sunshine rainbow gif too🌈☀️💖me likes that one too💕I love this other cutu quote gif🌈🩷

@iloveyouxx

yes yes, that's cute! \(^-^)/ & also chibi peach cat ᓚ₍^•⩊•^₎

@VictoriaLove7

eeee chibi peach cat💓🐾 ฅ≽^•⩊•^≼ฅ💗

@iloveyouxx

Hihi they even got framed photos 🖼 on the wall /ᐠ •ヮ• マ Ⳋ

This one is also cute ฅ^•⩊•^ฅ🌻

@VictoriaLove7

omgggggeeee fren that’s suuu adorablee ฅ^•⩊•^ฅ🌈🐾💜look at these :3💕