˚⋆˗ˏˋ☕︎ˎˊ˗ Cog & Jae's Lounge ˗ˏˋ☕︎ˎˊ˗⋆˚

It's my birthday today! I'm 38.. Oh gosh.. 

So, this morning, I was suppose to have an in-clinic appointment at 10:30am with my doctor to get a doctor's note from her, as my Gradual Return to Work (GRTW). But, I got a call from the medical clinic around 9:30am, saying my doc is not feeling well, and they will arrange another doctor to give me a phone call instead. So, another doc called, and I gave him a brief summary of the reasons for the GRTW note. These notes now costs $25. I received the invoice shortly after we ended the call, and at the bottom of the email, in red print, they said they won't send the document until I've e-transferred the amount over. 

So, this doctor and I decided that I'll do a 4-hour shift for a 4-week period (I'm thinking, for all of February), working 2-3 shifts per week.. Then, if adjustments are needed, I'll see the doctor again and make the necessary adjustments.. I told him, when my Grandma first passed, I went to work for next couple of days and colleagues said disrespectful things to me.. that now returning to work, I'm not sure how I could receive such comments, if they repeat the same things to me.. Now, I'm just waiting for the clinic to send me the document, so I can send it to work..

At first, I didn't think we needed the doctor's note, but since my Manager considered my leave as a Medical Leave.. upon requesting to do a GRTW, it's passed onto another department.. it is them, that needs a doctor's note from me.. So, I'll need to send a copy of this note to that department, and see how they will arrange the shifts for me..

You know, for today.. I had planned that when I go into the clinic for my appointment, I'd make a stop at the Asian grocery store, as there were a few items I wanted to pick up.. but now, that I didn't need to leave the house for the appointment, I've got no other plans.. Yesterday, I called to make reservations at a Japanese restaurant for dinner tonight.. So, we'll do that.. We used to order cakes from a Chinese bakery, but the past few times, their quality has suffered, and it's no longer worth the price. So yesterday, I decided that we buy an ice cream cake instead, from a Western ice cream shop.. We'll buy the smallest size, a 4-inch, that way, it's a piece for each of us, and we don't need to have leftovers. 

So now, I have nothing to do. Oh yes, I'm meeting my colleague/friend for dinner tomorrow at my favourite Korean restaurant. I invited her family, both her husband and son. Her husband also just had a birthday, on Tues the 21st. But aside from wanting to celebrate my birthday with the only friend I have, I also wanted to take the opportunity to thank them. They had been a great support during the first month of my grieving journey. Opening their home to me, as I spend 1-2 days a week there.. Just hanging out from 9am to at least 1 or 2pm.. The husband would get off work at 1pm and then, bring back lunch for us.. And I got to spend time with their puppy as my friend worked from home.. We had good heartfelt chats during her breaks, as she lost her father 4 years ago too.. so, she could really understand what I was going through.. her husband also lost his father during the COVID shutdown years too.. So they both gave me a lot of support and care.. So, I bought them a small gift of thanks. It's a little heart shaped plate.. with a message that is of remembrance of our loved ones.. So tomorrow, for our dinner.. I could finally give her the snack I helped her buy from my Tokyo trip, as well as this gift I have. 

How are you? It's been a while since I've heard from you again.. Hope you're on the way to moving out and away from your toxic family soon.. How are things going with your partner? Stayed with him, or have left?

Here is my latest update.

So, when I contacted my Manager telling her my doctor saying I'm ready to return to work gradually, she told me to contact the other department that deals with Gradual Return to Work (GRTW).. The Disability Management (DM).. So, yesterday, I emailed DM and asked if I will be contacted soon (as I haven't heard back from them since my birthday), as I wish to start my GRTW 4 weeks prior to my scheduled regular shifts that will be starting March 17th. I got a reply back almost instantly, saying that my name is nearing the top of the queue and someone would contact me soon.. (I didn't think there'd be a waitlist.. lolz)

I woke up this morning, and saw in my work email, that someone wants to connect with me. So, we talked on the phone for like 20 minutes around 2pm.. Basically, just telling my Case Manager (CM) what I have in mind for my GRTW schedule.. and the times I want to start working.. So now, my CM needs to contact my Manager and ask her if what I've proposed will be okay. If it goes through, I will start my 4-hour shifts February 18th.. So, that week, I'm working Tues 18th and Thurs 20th, from 4-8pm. Then work Feb. 24th & 26th, also for 4 hours.. With the following week, Mar. 4th & 6th, for 6hrs, then, the next week, 10th & 12th & 14th, as the full shift.. of course, all these may change depending on how I handle the work and the stresses..

As I explained to my Case Manager, because of the grief, my doctor said I had an emotional shock.. so, I'm more worried about what my colleagues may comment in regards to my absence, and I told her, because of the emotional shock, my brain had basically shutdown.. So, I wanted to slowly get back into the routine of working, to allow my brain get used to the tasks..

So now, I'm just waiting for the confirmation emails from my Case Manager after she's checked with my Manager.. oh yea, also, by week, we will increase my duties.. so, it goes from light, light-moderate, moderate, to normal.. I told my CM, according the tasks of my job, I'm not sure what a lightened duty will include.. so, I asked her help me ask my Manager her scope.. 

I've also asked a favour from one of my colleagues, to help me check my locker.. see if I have clean scrubs there.. I don't remember.. If I don't have extras, I might need to ask her to help me put some there, that way, I'll have something to change into when I do start working..

So, everything is finalized now. I'm finally returning to work next week! But you know, ever since the last week of January, I've been experiencing IBS symptoms, and since February, I seem to be having issues with my TMJ.. of course, some days hurt more than other days..

I'm seeing my GP this afternoon, at first, the appointment was made when I was having an itchy eyebrow.. like, there's a patch on my left eyebrow, where the skin colour is a bit more pale, and it itched.. but, after applying the prescription ointment on for like 3 days, it stopped itching.. but, the colour is still lightened.. So, for my appointment later, I'll just mention it briefly, but I think I'll talk about my IBS and TMJ more instead.. Since it's most likely because of the stresses I'm feeling with returning to work.. I just don't like the IBS, as I usually have the diarrhea type.. which is annoying.. Because I would have bowel movements for like 2-3 times a day, along with stomachaches.. then, I'd be constipated for like a few days.. and then, back to the diarrhea.. just a vicious cycle.. It also doesn't matter what I've eaten.. so, I think it's just entirely of the stresses I feel in returning to work.. 

I'm seeing my dentist tomorrow, so, I'll get her to check out my TMJ too.. 

You know, our snow is finally melting.. and by the time I start working, it'll start raining instead.. at least in the beginning of my gradual return, I'm starting at 4pm.. so, I don't need to stress about getting a parking space.. as many hospital staff are off by 3:30pm.. I haven't been able to adjust my sleep yet though.. I'm not taking my naps in the day, but like usual, if I fall asleep earlier in the night, I'm awake by 3 or 4am..  like this morning, I couldn't fall back asleep until almost 6am..

I'd better slowly get ready to head out now.. I feel another bowel movement is needed.. sigh

Hope to hear from you soon!~

My first day of my 4 hour shift of work yesterday.. I just took on light duties, as I'm like an extra body for the 12-8pm shift.. most of the staff I saw and greeted either said "long time no see" or "welcome back".. I think they have forgotten my initial reason of why I was off.. so, no one mentioned about my grief.. which is good.. But I think as some of them might have heard that I was on a medical leave, I had some nurses ask me if I'm okay now.. So, I just said I'm feeling better, and is doing a gradual return to work.. 

On a side note though..

Last year, I sent a request to my city.. saying that there was a stretch of road where it obscures the view of oncoming cars that makes it unsafe to turn left out onto the road from a side street.. As there were always 2-3 cars parked on the curb on the right.. where it's always difficult to see if there were any cars heading down the hill.. where I had to turn left.. So, I either had to move my car further out in order to see, or I had to use a longer route to get to work.. So, I explained it that if those cars parked there, it gets in the way.. and when I had my car too far out onto the road, when there are cars wanting to turn into my street, they've given me looks.. at other times, not often, with coincidence that there's a car across the street, they'd kindly motion me that it's safe to turn..

So, last November, I got an email saying that the city has examined the area I mentioned and will be putting up a "no parking" sign.. So yesterday, when my brother and I was out walking the dog, on the way home, we saw City workers doing some digging.. and this morning, when my dad and I took the dog out.. I finally saw those "no parking" signs.. Seeing it, I smiled.. thinking, "This is my doing"..

As I made my request sound like it's a safety issue for drivers.. and not just my problem.. So, I'm glad that is now fixed.. I can try turning left from there now.. I like how they didn't put like a limited time for the "no parking".. so, it's like an all day "no parking".. which is even better.. I'll have to try it out.. see if I get to drive to work tomorrow.. as yesterday, my brother dropped me off, and his car is higher up, and not a sedan like mine.. (he got a new car, finally his dream car)

Remember that Entertainment company that I wanted to work at as an English teacher? Well, I just saw they made another announcement for another recruitment for male trainees. There was a different email address, and this time in small print, it said this email is only valid for the month of open recruitment.. So, it got me thinking.. maybe the email I had been sending to in 2024, is no longer working.. or it was an email that the CEO stopped checking.

So with this recruitment and new email address that is valid for Feb. 22nd - Mar. 22nd.. I'm thinking to maybe sending my offer earlier on. Since the 22nd is a Saturday (China time zone), I was thinking of sending it off when it's a Monday for them. This time, I hope I get some sort of response. 

According to the Chinese horoscope, this year is suppose to be a good year for me.. Both in work and romance.. But they say, with romance, it's usually not who we like or have a crush on, but rather have another person liking us.. I'm just thinking what I should put on the subject line for the email. Honestly, he might not even open the email, seeing it's a female name (as he's recruiting male trainees), and that there are no attachments of what an audition would require.. like videos, etc.. 

So, hopes are at 50/50. Hope you return to Cups soon, and is able to see all my updates. I hope you're doing well yourself too. Hope you have moved out from your toxic family, whether you've moved in with your partner, broken up, or living alone with your son. I hope things are going the way you want your life to be heading.