˚⋆˗ˏˋ☕︎ˎˊ˗ Cog & Jae's Lounge ˗ˏˋ☕︎ˎˊ˗⋆˚
⋆˚✿˖°☕︎ ⋆˚✿˖°𝓦𝓮𝓵𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓲𝓷! ⋆˚✿˖°☕︎ ⋆˚✿˖°
This space is for @Jaeteuk and ImpudentIncognito to catch up and chat!
How have you been doing Jae? What is new with you?
I'll be responding to your other post here in a moment Jae.
I hope your day is going well so far!☻☺
This is just a really quick update. I'm currently at my remote call center job and this is the last few days of training left. I hate that we'll be taking calls next week. I really DON'T like this job, even if (most) of the people are friendly. Not a fan of customer service type jobs anymore, I'm over it.
Good news! That Canadian social media commentary channel replied back to me! I have a writing task to do and the deadline is in a week. I do drop some of my writing samples here:
𑁍✧˖°˚ʚThe Impetuous Idle Inscriptions of an Impɞ˚°˖✧𑁍
Except, I won't be adding anything about that writing gig in there lol. Just in case, it's confidential/proprietary, most likely. Right now, those are just random scrawls I write out of boredom, to improve my English, or some stuff I write for others. If this gig works out, I might go back to working on personal projects again if I have time. My priority is to find a good paying job and move out of here.
Apart from that...
I'm also nearly completed with my UX Design certification, I'm on Chapter 5/7! I've been working on it like crazy every night. Also, I'm getting my weekly paycheck today so lol. Everything seems OK for now... I really don't care if they fire me at current job. 🤣 I have back-ups. I have to find time too, on when to fly out of state to take real estate exam...eventually...probably gonna do UX Design job first, because it's a HUGE bump in pay from where I'm at right now haha.
Anyhow, I'll try and respond to everything sometime this week! I might be a little bit busy with the writing task that SM commentary channel gave me, and the UX Design classes. I don't have the gig yet, but if they like what I made, I go onto the 3rd step and have an interview with them. Also, if it doesn't work out, oh well lol. I'm just happy they even took me into consideration. 🤣 I like writing, so it's not really a chore, it's fun!
Yay!.. on the Social Media channel! Your writing is unique. I remember when I was in high school, I took a Creative Writing course.. I loved writing back then, but I don't have much imagination and could only write something if given a topic.. I don't have much of a creative side where I can make up my own story..
It sounds like a busy week for you with the writing task, finishing up your Certification, and the remaining days of training.. No rush on lengthy replies.
I'm having second thoughts on that counselling.. I think I'll take all of December off.. because after tomorrow's appointment, I would only have 3 more sessions left.. I'll leave that for the New Year.. I'm going to try and "start up" my brain again.. work on my next full book, I already have a topic chosen.. I got some ideas from AI, and I'll just need to personally check whether or not the info given is real/true.. Or I could just use the approved AI that the Publishing Program offers.. We previously had a couple of free uses when my brother paid for an extra course. If I finish this book, I could bundle it with the first book I wrote myself.. Maybe that way, it would sell better..
@ImpudentIncognito
@Jaeteuk I might have more free time on my hands after all... The job agency for the call center job put me on my last warning for background noise (aka, my son being heard in the background). They said I need to figure out a solution right away or termination. I told them I understood.
I already have daycare plans in place by the end of December, but they said it's not good enough. I said maybe I could get a babysitter, but to be honest... I won't. Babysitters are EXPENSIVE and that would mean some random person in my mother's house. I don't have transportation to go drop off, even with rideshare apps, that's pricey.
We have a 4 day weekend right now, but next week I expect to be let go. I keep telling myself I'm prepared, but I was honestly a bit upset and frustrated getting that call considering the high stress I've been dealing with lately...But at the same time, relieved? I wish they would've just terminated me on the spot lol. I don't want to walk on eggshells. I just don't really care anymore.
If that that writing gig pans out, I'll have a bit of money and not be completely broke lol. I don't expect them to pay much for 20-30hrs of writing from an amateur like me.
By the way -- I'm on chapter 6 out of 7 now for the UX Design classes. I know I won't get a job right away but...oh well.. It's still something, I suppose?
I'm mentally clocked out of the call center training class right now for the rest of the day and haven't been participating anymore. My camera is off and I'm not really doing any reading nor hands-on training, following along. The agency said that the call center mentioned EVERYTHING is good and phenomenal EXCEPT for the background noise, which is a violation...Other call center jobs I worked at didn't really care, as long as you just do your work, but again, oh well.
Again, want to reiterate, nothing against the people. They're doing their jobs, I'm just personally frustrated based on things in my life...I only let one coworker know that I'm being terminated, but said I understood why and that I'm OK since I have a writing gig, UX Design certificate and real estate license to look forward to.
Oh? You're going to save the counselling for January? I think that'll definitely help to sort of decompress on your own, then the counsellor can help out in January to sort out those thoughts and everything once you meet again. Plus, maybe they can help too with your plan on quitting the job eventually?
That's AWESOME that you're planning a new book!!! 😄 I'm happy for you!! That sounds like it'll be pretty fun. What's an approved AI? :O Is that where you submit your book to auto publish for free? Sorry, my brain is scattered right now. 😵💫 I haven't finished this coffee yet haha...Just not really having the best day right now tbh.
My BF got annoyed with me earlier too, so that contributed a bit to my bad day...(I was talking to him about work issues and my job plans, and he just shut that down and basically went "Then sue them for wrongfully terminating you" as a solution...he says that for nearly every sort of complaint I have.... When I say it's probably not viable and explained why, he got annoyed).
He's also sick right now, so maybe more irritable for that reason too? And his dad *** him off earlier...
But he's also dealing with his drug-addict sister coming back to the house from out of state...And it's usually stressful for him during that time.
Idk...I'm just honestly crestfallen today and just distracting myself by taking my UX Design classes while off camera of my current job... I got paid yesterday and could be stupid and stuff my feelings with stupid expensive coffee, and not eat for the rest of the day, but I won't...
@ImpudentIncognito "And his dad made him mad/irritated today" ((It censors the word "*** off"))
It makes me think the writing gig would be a better option for you.. So, don’t be too disappointed if the call center terminates you. If they don’t like the noise your son makes, then, that’s too bad.. They liked everything that you’ve done so far in training, so it is their loss of you for not accepting the noise.
Is the 4-day weekend because of Black Friday or another reason? When you applied for the writing gig, did they give you a scope on the wage or will that be further negotiated once they decide to hire you?
That’s good, you’re almost finished with the UX Designer Certification. I just looked up the salary, and found that in 2024, in the US, it’s at the Top 10 list of highest paying jobs. #1 is Content Architect, and UX Designer is #10.
Yes, when I went for my counselling appointment this morning, I told my counsellor I’ll take a break in December.. As after today, I’d only have 3 sessions left.. She told me her schedule has been finalized starting January.. With Mondays, she’s there from 12pm - 7pm, and every other Tuesday, she will be starting at 9am.. So, I told her, maybe I’ll see her on Tuesdays, at the same time, at 10:30am. Today, we talked a bit about my group session last night.. As you may remember, it’s Christian-based.. And yesterday’s video was “Questions to God”.. we played through the TV in DVD, but for like 45 minutes, we couldn’t get the audio to work.. So we watched the video in silence, reading the subtitles.. But during the video, I had a question, but in my head, I couldn’t find the words to describe what I wanted to say, so I didn’t pose the question to the group during discussion time.. So, I went up to one of the hosts at the end, when most have left the room already and asked her instead.. I was a bit confused.. Grandma is Buddhist, my parents are Christians.. So, my question is, as to life after death.. As to where Grandma is.. Is it based on her beliefs or my parent’s beliefs?.. I asked that because at one time, my brother told me he goes towards the Buddhism beliefs too.. That he thinks Grandma is reincarnated.. After she passed away, her soul left her body and went somewhere else.. So, in my brother’s mind.. Grandma is “still alive”.. And since my parents are Christians.. Maybe they feel Grandma is in Heaven.. But the host did say that it depends on Grandma’s beliefs.. Not ours. Then, the host went on to talk about my faith.. And kept inviting me to join them at Service on Sundays..
With my counsellor, I talked to her about that today too.. I’ve told her previously that I’ve had bad experiences in the churches I’ve attended in the past.. But with this Grief Group Support, most members are devoted Christians.. So, I have a better feeling with this group itself.. Not sure if the church is just as good as whole.. But I did mention to my counsellor, reflecting back on my previous church experiences, of the 3 churches I attended before, were all Chinese based, and this church is more Westernized and probably more multi-cultural.. So, it may work better for me.. As I’m pretty westernized too, being that I did all my schooling in Canada. So, this church thing, could possibly be something I explore more in the new year.. I also told my Counsellor, the hosts have suggested I attend Alpha (which is like an introductory program for newcomers, usually held around dinner time, providing food).. So, it may be something I look into more later on too.. Also, the hosts suggests I start reading the Bible too.. I told them, I once was gifted an Amplified Bible.. They mentioned, I could start reading it, and if I have any questions, that I could always bring it to the group.. I told my counsellor though, I think if I were to explore more into the faith, I’ll probably attend that Alpha group first.. As with my previous attempts to attend church, there are questions unanswered.. So maybe attending Alpha will help untangle those questions.. If not, maybe I’ll be able to meet someone that I feel comfortable with and have those questions resolved.. Back then, it was because of those questions that resulted in me not wanting to continue with church, along with not meeting the right people who gave me good guidance..
With my counsellor, I also told her about my thoughts of quitting.. That on my end, it’s practically something I’ve already decided on.. Oh yea, when I was waiting to be called, I sent a message to my mum and brother, telling them my thoughts on quitting and asked what their thoughts are.. My mum said “that it was so sudden”.. I said, I’ve been thinking about it alot over the past few weeks.. My brother said “that’s a big change and a bit risky. Best to discuss and think through first. Sometimes resigning is the easy way out and seem to have more pros but it might not be the right move if main reason is trying to avoid conflict.” My mum wanted to discuss more about it today.. But, when we both got home (after my lunch and picking up a few things at the mall, my parents went for a walk then had lunch on their own before come home).. We both were tired, so we both napped a bit before waking up for dinner.. After dinner and resting now, she comes to my computer room, standing by the door.. She said, maybe the both of us, could write down what we can think of as the Pros & Cons of quitting.. Then, maybe we could have a further discussion about it tomorrow.. I’ll write down the list tomorrow.. Last night, I went to bed earlier.. And was up around 6am.. At first, I had my alarm set at 8am.. But, I felt so sleepy still at 7am, then, I changed the alarm to 8:45am.. But, all day, I felt so tired and sleepy.. Like even during counselling, I felt like my eyes were half closed.. And I kept yawning as I drove.. That’s why, once I got home around 2pm, I sat on my bed for a while (as I was full from lunch), before lying down and slept. It’s only 9pm now.. And I already feel like going to bed.. But I think tonight, I’ll need to watch some dramas in bed again.. Otherwise, if I fall asleep too early, I’ll be awake around 3-4am..
The breakfast with the Group Support is confirmed for this Saturday.. And apparently, the restaurant doesn’t allow reservations because they say it’s a busy time, so it’s more first-come-first-serve.. So, the hosts will arrive a bit earlier to get a table.. As we have at least a dozen people.. Tonight, in our group chat, we were also notified that for our second to last session, that we will need to bring a picture of our loved ones.. And on the last session, they will order pizza and asked us to arrive earlier..
The Approved AI, is part of the Publishing program.. The founders have a team of people who created this AI that helps with gathering information to write a book.. Just need to provide the topic, and other books on Amazon related to our topic, and the AI can gather all the good stuff and make a summary.. And that it could also write an entire book, with all the chapters.. But like all AI, and because of Amazon does not allow books to be written by AI.. after it has been generated, we still need to edit it ourselves.. Put in our own input or change the wordings.. So that it’s not entirely AI generated.
I’m sorry to hear your BF has the same reaction to every problem you share with him.. It sounds a bit irresponsible, or that he just wants to brush it away by saying things like “sue them” each time.. It’s like an “angry, annoyed” reaction.. By the looks of things though, you mentioned he’s dealing with a lot of stresses too, with his drug-addict sister back in the house, the incident with his dad, and he’s sick himself.. I’m sure that affects his own emotions and he’s taking it out on you.. But if he says “sue them for this or that” when he’s not in the current state that he’s in.. that’s also not a very good sign/response to you either..
Copy and pasting from Google Docs to here.. it screws up the spacing.. I still haven't figured out how to make to look the same.. so, sorry if the post comes out funny..
@ImpudentIncognito
About 6pm our time, which is 10am in Hong Kong (a day ahead).. my dad suddenly got a message in his group chat (his siblings). My dad is the 4th, his 2nd brother sent the message saying their 3rd brother suddenly was sent to Emergency with a stroke. My 3rd Uncle, is a survivor from an aggressive form of leukemia and had recovered. The latest news is that the blood clot had bursted in his right brain, and the neurosurgeon says it cannot be operated.. and it's just a waiting game now..
My parents were planning to go on a cruise in January to Mexico with my Aunt (mum's sister, the one who lives in the States).. But, now, they are not confirming the trip, as there's a possibility that my dad will need to return to HK if my uncle doesn't make it.. but, he would only return to attend the funeral.. so, it could be a month from now (as that was how long it took for my Grandma to reunite with Grandpa at the grave).
Except this time, if my 3rd Uncle really doesn't make it, I don't think I'll be grieving for him.. we've never been close.. and my cousins, I've only spent time with them when I was 3-4. So, I only remember them as what they looked like then.. although in recent pictures, both cousins are married now, and the eldest has a son.. Her son is also very smart and mature, although he's only like 10 years old.. my cousins' appearance haven't changed too much though, just a bit chubbier than I remembered them to be.. and of course, older and more mature looking.. Her younger brother, I believe is around my brother's age.. I actually don't know much about my 3rd Uncle's family.. I just know before my Uncle retired, he used to be in a senior position at the bank. He retired after getting that leukemia, it is the same type as my mum's friend from church, except with her, she's still battling with it.. In HK, they had some new medicine back then and my Uncle got better going through three rounds of it.. When my dad saw him back in August (when my parents went back to send Grandma off), my dad said he looked very healthy. Although he needed to use a cane to walk.. But at least his facial complexion was of a healthy person.. My dad said, he thought the first bad news from his brothers would be Grandma (dad's side).. As she has Alzheimers for the past few years, but my Grandma is a very strong person, she slipped a couple of years ago, broke her pelvis, had surgery, and recovered.. Although when she goes out now, she needs a wheelchair, just so she doesn't wander off.. but my parents believe, maybe because she has Alzheimers, that she doesn't have any worries in life, so, that lifts a lot of weight and stresses compared to normal person.. Grandma is also in her 90s..
So, it'll be sad if 3rd Uncle leaves first.. as it was very unexpected and sudden. But then again, I guess with a history of leukemia, strokes might come as a higher risk.. and probably makes it more difficult to operate on.. or maybe the area where the blood clot bursted is in a dangerous spot, so they cannot do surgery to drain the clot and lower the brain pressure..
I guess, if he doesn't wake up.. it will be up to the family whether or not to keep him on life support.. We might get more news in the next few days..
So, this morning, at 8:45am.. our time, HK Time is Dec. 3rd 12:45am.. 3rd Uncle passed away.. I'm not close to this uncle and his family at all, so I do not feel the grief compared to Grandma's passing.. Come to think of it though, passing away from a stroke is probably more relieving than if he had passed going through with cancer treatment.. This Uncle is less than 2 years older than my dad.. I'm a bit more worried for my Aunt though.. she used to be the type of person who's always smiling and has a positive attitude towards life.. Now that her husband is gone, and so suddenly and quickly (although when he was first admitted, the doctors already told the family to be ready that he could pass anytime).. I guess we just never thought he'd suddenly get a stroke.. that he survived the cancer, and then this happened..
So, my dad is thinking of returning in the week before Christmas to wait until he could attend the funeral.. parents are now trying to look at possibly an airbnb place where they could stay for at least 2 weeks..
This later half of the year is not good.. first Grandma on my mum's side.. now, 3rd Uncle on my dad's side.. I'm lucky I'm not close to 3rd Uncle, so I'm not exactly feeling any grief from his passing.. otherwise, my grieving journey would've started all over again and become even more weighted down..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, I finally had that discussion with my mum yesterday, about my thoughts on resigning.. She has gathered all the thoughts from my dad and brother too.. Long story short, they think I should continue working, and possibly look for another job opening at a different hospital (since I don't get along with the current staff and future staff).. Also, with the Publishing business, it's not at a point where I'm steadily earning a decent income on a month-to-month basis at the moment, she says, I can work on it as a side business for now.. So, until the earnings can replace a full-time job's salary, I'll still need to be working a job that pays me..
Now, I'm starting to look for a part-time job opening at a different hospital.. I'm thinking of applying to a different Authority.. where I live, there are 3 different Authorities (almost like 3 large companies) of hospital healthcare, depending on regions.. The other hospital that is still somewhat close to home, is still within the same Authority I am currently under, and if I were to apply to the department I once worked in (what my Certificate was for), their Manager is the same as I one that I worked under previously when I first started out in my hospital (of which, nobody likes him, and he had threatened me once).. So, I cannot go to that hospital.. The Anesthesiologists and Surgeons at my hospital also work at that hospital too.. but they do not have the same current position in the OR as my hospital.. so, it's not like I could apply to work there.. If they had that position, that would be okay too, because the Manager would be of the OR, not the other department with that male Manager I don't like..
So, when I see my GP again in 3 weeks, I'm going to get her to write up a doctor's note, where I could work 1-2 days a week to start off with.. Then, I will meet up with my Manager in January to give her this note, and tell her that I don't want to work consecutive days.. and see if I can do one of each shift.. like a 7:30am and a 12pm.. That way, in case when my group support starts again in April, or with my counselling, I can choose to not work on Tuesdays.. Or if I decide to attend the Alpha group for church.. I can pick my days/time to work.. I believe Alpha is usually around dinner time.. so, when the time comes, I'll only be able to work the morning shift.. But then again, if I end up applying to a part-time, depending if it's rotational shifts or if they are a set time, I'll need to see if I could work around their schedule so that I could attend the church functions (Group or Alpha)..
If I'm continuing with the Casual work here at my hospital, I'll need to see how those colleagues treat me.. if I'm getting the same disrespectful treatment (and 2nd or 3rd time), I'll have to follow-up with my Union Rep and talk about working in a Respectful Workplace.. and report those colleagues.. Because I have told them not to talk to me like that before.. especially the one that compared my work ethics to the "superstar" full-timer staff.. If this talk continues when I return, then, I will need to report her..
@Jaeteuk
@ImpudentIncognito Oof, the formatting got pretty janky here. I'm going to keep it more simple moving forward, heh...
Uncle messaged my dad this morning, Uncle's family decided to not do a traditional funeral.. just a quick one at the hospital, and they have a designated park where family can toss the ashes over the earth (soil/ground), then, have the deceased name on a plague and hang it on a tree.. So, without the actual funeral.. my dad doesn't need to return to HK as planned previously.. Instead, my mum will just go with me so I can visit my Grandma at her grave.. and I could see my Aunts (on mum's side).. maybe I could meet up with my Sister too (remember that Big Sister I have, not blood-related, but I call her my Big Sister).. We'll see..
So, we're making some final changes in our flights. Mum and I will go to HK first, leaving the 8th (brother is on the phone with the airline making the changes now), stay for a week, then, meet with brother and dad in Japan for the vacationing part, then, back home on the 29th.
These 5 months have sure been crazy.. first my Grandma, then, this sudden passing of my Uncle..
I've re-scheduled my GP appointment to the beginning of January, to get that doctor's note.. I emailed and texted my Manager about meeting with her in January in regards to my work.. but, she hasn't replied either yet.. I tried looking for part-time positions at different hospitals the day before, and didn't see any openings.. At least, not at the hospitals I'll want to work in.. So, it probably just means, as I stay in the current hospital, I'll have to use all the free time to work on the Publishing so that I can succeed in that quicker to an extent where I can quit the hospital altogether.. So, hopefully it will take less than 2 years.. or before the 2 current staff retires..
With counselling, I have 3 more free sessions for January.. then, was told to take a 2 month break so other people on the waitlist can have their turn.. then, probably in April, I'll get my GP to send in another referral to see the same counsellor again..
@ImpudentIncognito
Hello! Just dropping by in the mobile app. I'm reading your messages and hope I can finish replying this weekend. Albeit, the job MAY terminate me sooner (so MAYBE able to reply sooner).
Once again, I got feedback that I'm doing an EXCELLENT job(taking calls now with some guidance), but I know they can hear my son in the background, and I'm already on my last warning. Therefore, I expect it get "the boot", maybe tomorrow, which is OK. I'm prepared.
I've been working on the writing gig, due this Wednesday and on the UX Design portfolio... I have a tech recruiter from a specific huge tech company too, I just need to schedule a call. Other than that um... Yeah. Gonna try and respond to your messages this weekend. Just letting you know I'm reading them, whenever I have down time.
Just quick venting lol. Definitely getting terminated by tomorrow. My son was mostly quiet the entire day, then got loud towards the end, full on screaming. Could be overstimulated (autism). When I asked my mother to PLEASE watch him for like, 10mins, she only lasted one minute and gave up... I was taking a work call that didn't last very long. I have NO help at home. Just frustrating and stupid. She actively sabotages me so... Looking forward to this writing gig and UX Design jobs. My sweet revenge would be getting well-paid jobs and ditching these people who are so-called "family", who can't be arsed to do ONE thing for a few mins. I NEVER ask for favours, and they always offer, only to let me down. It's disappointing and annoying. Can't trust them.
Termination will probably be good for you.. that way, you can focus on your writing gig and finishing up your UX Design certificate.. Don't need to worry about whether or not those guys will terminate you or not.. One less stressor.
Oh yes, I can't wait until you've landed those higher-paying jobs and move away and out from your so-called "family"..
I just briefly looked at other possible job openings in different hospitals and regions.. there aren't any of which I qualify for, for part-time positions.. so, I'm stuck with staying at my hospital for now.. and I'll probably try and push for the Publishing job on the side more.. It's just my brain is still not working to it's full capacity yet, so, I can only do so much in a day/week.. But I'll increase the work time bit by bit..
@ImpudentIncognito
So now, my mum suddenly proposed that we could return as a family, and do our planned family vacation now instead of in November 2025. If I return now, attend Uncle's funeral, at the same time, maybe I could get some closure as I go visit Grandma at her grave.
It turns out my other Uncle who lives close to us, have decided to return to HK too, once the funeral date is set. My dad will be going for lunch with this Uncle and my Aunt (the eldest sibling on my dad's side) this Friday. Where I'm sure we'll hear whether or not my Aunt has decided to return for the funeral too. She hasn't made any comments about it in their siblings' group chat. On the contrary, she didn't seem to take the passing of her brother that seriously. Sending messages saying maybe the attending physician gave the wrong diagnosis to my Uncle, then sending a smiling/laughing emoticon when the news from my 2nd Uncle said he had passed away. So, we're not sure what my Aunt is thinking, or if she's in her right mind. Or maybe she doesn't want to show her vulnerable side, and used humour to mask her feelings. Who knows. I'll wait and see how lunch goes on Friday with my dad.
A heads up, we might be leaving as early as next Monday. (We will fly and vacation in Japan first, then, fly to HK for funeral and visit my Grandma).
I'm on hold on the phone right now. Trying to contact the airline to figure out how I can create a new account to check the points I've collected (can redeem through flights). If this is a go, I'm going to have to cancel mine and my mum's blood test appointments, as well as the appointment with my GP. I've also booked for a haircut tomorrow, as it's getting long, and with travel, and blow-drying it in hotels, better to have it cut short for convenience. Dad has to reschedule his specialist appt. too, he called the office this morning, was told to call them back Thursday afternoon.
Tomorrow is my mum's birthday too. which also marks one year to our basement flooding last year, and we're finally about to have our claim case closed. Just waiting for some final steps and get our money. I've ordered a chestnut cake (mum's favorite), with a $20 gift card I had, so, will pick that up after my haircut appt. We haven't decided where to eat yet though. I bought her a necklace as a gift already, that reminds me, I'd better give the card to my brother to sign, while my parents are out of the house now.
(36 minutes, and still on hold).
((Currently on the mobile app)) Having an early vacation sounds nice! Especially since you've been dealing with a LOTS of things (ex. Grandmother passing, toxic workplace environment, looking for new job, uncle passing, family, etc). I hope visiting your grandmother's grave does provide some closure for you. Since you will be going to HK, would it be difficult or easy to visit China nextdoor? Can you turn in your resume in person, I mean, to that job you wanted? :O That's cool that you're also going to Japan! SFO you have an itinerary set up? Are there certain things you wish to see or do while there? As for your aunt... It sounds like she doesn't believe her brother passed out and might be in major shock, trying to cope. She might not believe it until she attends the funeral, where it will feel more real... I remembered my karate instructor who passed away. It just didn't feel real... I used to pass by the dojo and she'd still say "hi" to me, even though I quit to focus on studies. It felt different, seeing as she's not longer there...But anyways, I guess all I am trying to say is that maybe your aunt doesn't feel it yet, until she sees with her own eyes her brother in a casket or his ashes. :( I'm sorry you've been dealing with a lot of loss lately I'm the family, it's not easy. Again, I hope you receive closure for your grandmother's passing.
No, I don't think I'll be able to go to China.. Plus, I do not have the actual address, nor can I find an address online. Maybe I could print out the CV and Resume, have it with me.. and if lucky, bump into the idol on the streets and hand it to him personally.. otherwise, it's just through the emails.
We'll be looking at this trip as vacation to Japan.. then, "stop by" HK for the funeral.. Yes, hopefully seeing Grandma will help with the closure.. Just way too much going on for sure, especially with this sudden passing of my Uncle..
The phone call, I waited for 1.5 hours, and only a 5 minutes chat fixed the problem.. lolz
@ImpudentIncognito
The formatting on 7cups can be kind of weird sometimes so...I'll try and keep it more simple... I miss some replies and the way it buries the responses makes me miss them occasionally. You mentioned going to support groups prior -- how has that been going for you lately? Did you have to cancel or let them know you'll be out of the country by Monday? :O I think you may have mentioned that the group only lasts for a few months, right? Is it close to the end? How does that group work?
I hope the job search is going OK! As I mentioned in a prior post, it sounds like you have a good plan in place! Again, I'm rooting for your publishing business to along smoothly. I think you may have mentioned getting prompt ideas from a different post as well? How has it been going with the writing? I'm supposed to be writing right now for that writing gig but procrastinate lol. Just been dealing with a lot of stuff in regards to fam and my relationship...BF has been EXTREMELY sick lately, and it has been worrying me, so I keep checking in on him. I was worried he might have similar symptom's to his father who ended up going to an urgent care for brain injury...Luckily, BF is feeling a little bit better, but he has a LOT on his plate.
He has been taking his nephew to school and his drug-addict sister came back to the house...she's been (mostly) not too bothersome toward my BF but he still has to get her medication and drive her places per request of his mother, who is currently at the hospital 24/7 with his father... I have some conflicted feelings about...this in particular...but I've decided to just hold my tongue for now. I guess, it's frustrating to me to see his toxic family take advantage of him, then treat him like dog 💩 when they don't get their way or just to be jerks. They use him all the time...And I'm slightly bothered by the fact he tolerates this just so he can inherit the house. It's a nice house, but damn...I wouldn't want to be subjected to abuse just to get a house from rotten people. However, again, I'm just going to stay out of it at this point...It has nothing to do with me.
I guess I'm just worried this will carry over into our relationship (which, it kind of has...but not too much). I gave him money in the past to repay him + extra because he's been SUPER helpful. However, instead of using it to repay his loan(which he took out to help me), he gave most of it to his toxic family. Another thing, he PROMISED to find us an apartment, but it fell through because something else came up. I get it but also...I just don't feel like I can rely on him. I'm just going to do what I feel like -- which is working towards my goals and getting my own place(which he is free to visit). I don't know how I feel about living together anymore...I want him to be happy, healthy, and safe, but he continues to subject himself to abuse...
It's reminding me a bit of my ex fiance/the father of my son(FoS for short). FoS's biological parents are violent alcoholics and...I didn't want to be around that...though my ex would still be around them and bring me and the little one around it. My ex's dad even got SO drunk during the holidays and nearly got into a fist-fight with FoS...I didn't feel comfortable being around his family when things like that would happen often. I was tired of the chaos and just wanted to enjoy time with our own little family but...that didn't happen.
Anyhow, I'm worried that if I ever have kids with current BF, I would have to deal with the same 💩, just because he wants to inherit a house from his parents. How far will he go? It sounds like he doesn't seem enthused to move out anyways, even though it was initially his idea (I think?). He wanted to have the "settled down" lifestyle and have kids. He said he would take care of me while I did the childrearing (if I wanted to be a stay-at-home-parent). I was surprised, since this was a first for me. I'm usually very career oriented and don't have people taking care of me -- I usually take care of others but...yes...again, nothing really came to fruition. I sometimes wonder if maybe he and I are more compatible as friends rather than relationship-wise. I love him, but I feel....like I'm getting sidelined. This has happened in my prior relationships, where I try my darndest, only to be the one exhausted in the end and feeling like 💩....However...Again...Not going to be making any major changes in my life until I am financially stable (which will mostly cure my anxiety and stress). Then I will be able to think more clearly and not just via current emotions. I am viewing things through my own, skewed perception. Plus, with additional stress, I'm a bit more negative/pessimistic than I usually am...
Speaking of pessimism... I've been trying to use a technique called "realistic optimism" to counteract it. So instead of the "everything will be okay in the end, it's not that big of a deal" sort of toxic positive that does not validate my feelings I just say this to myself instead:
✤ "Things are NOT okay right now, and that's OK to not be Ok. We will figure something out, one day at a time."
✤ "This bad thing happened, how can I turn it around or fix it?"
✤ "I failed this time, it hurts. What did I learn from this? How can I grow from this failure?".
I feel like framing my mindset like this lets it be OK to feel negative emotions, but also find a solution for whatever is going on in my life...like right now, i should be doing my writing gig, but my brain is pooped, so most likely, I will turn in what I have and probably not be accepted by the YouTube channel OR, I can try to write the first thing that pops into mind, and not worry to much about make revisions. The channel is just interested to see what kind of writing materials I can come up with. I even add a section where I showed the research that I did, and extra notes that I thought about. I studied linguistics for fun, for example. So, if I come up with a name for a character, place, superpower, etc, I'll explain how I came up with the naming conventions and the though process I put into it. I have also fully embraced myself to NOT be picked by the YouTube channel, since I feel I did not put in my best work and just have some stuff going on.
I should honestly take a break from 7cups for a while and focus on career-related stuff but...I keep coming back and trying to distract myself which leads to self-sabotage. I feel like I don't deserve good things in life...Right now, I'm finishing up this project last minute. Plus, I stayed up at odd hours to initially get my UX Design classes done (I've had the certificate for a few days now). I've been procrastinating with the portfolio, but I met someone at my current work who's pretty good at graphic design, and he offered to help me. He has a degree in it, and is WAY more knowledgeable than me to be quite honest...And it's always good for one to have a mentor to improve!
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::Random Thoughts::
Just been thinking I might go and see about getting an assessment for autism or ADHD or OCD for myself... It's been bothering me for a long time that I have been told I am "weird" and "different", as though it's an insult. Two of my exes used to call me "weird" all the time and it made me upset or confused on what they meant(until they explained)... I have peculiar habits that I can't help or unaware of how weird it is, and had to teach myself to be "normal". I feel slightly offended that I have had people say that I sound like I use a translator to talk or A.I. I work hard to speak correctly to be understood, but it makes me sound like a robot...However, when I speak with more slang and emojis, people assume I am much, MUCH younger than I truly am, and it's embarrassing...🫠My "friends" and family did not like the "fancy" words I speak, and thought I am showing off, so another reason I don't talk the way I used to and use more slang to sound more normal.... For example, if I say something as simple as "I made an impudent decision and bought it right away", they would say it's fancy to use the word "impudent" which...??? I thought is a regular word??? Maybe it's just the people I used to hang around? I don't know...I want to have good English and keep striving to get better. I don't always like speaking my first language and default to English instead. But when people speak my first language, it does make me happy that they took the time to learn it, and speak to me because they want to connect with me on a more personal level. When I hear my BF ask questions about it or take an interest, it actually warms my heart to be honest. I just...minimize my usage of it...
Anyhow...
I also wish my habits would go undetected but it's noticeable sometimes...
I used to count everything all the time before I eat (ex. if there's chicken nuggets, I sort them by shape and count as I eat.), after I touch certain things, I wash my hands right after and multiple times a day, even if it's nothing too important, I like to feel clean...I also am peculiar about the texture of my food and clothing. Even if something taste good, I won't enjoy eating it if the texture is something I'm not fond of. It'll make me want to gag. The clothing...The seams have to be lined up perfectly a certain way or it's EXTREMELY annoying and I will change my clothes. I also have sensitive ears, and hate loud noises, it frustrates me and I turn the TV SUPER low with captions on to read instead. I don't like loud noises, but I think that could be more of a trauma response(ex. my parents used to get into screaming matches nearly daily growing up)...I used to not "walk normal"...at all...it was embarrassing and weird. I walked with the same arm and leg at the same time instead of opposing and didn't think much of it, until I got mocked and made fun of, so i tried to change it and be normal. I do most sports left handed, but right hand for writing...not sure if I have a repressed memory or not?? It's weird how my left side felt more natural (until I got hit by a car). In my mother's religion, at least, back in the day, there would be Sunday school teachers who would hit your hand with ruler if you write with the left hand. It is considered the "devil's hand" or something, idk. So, most people would be forced to write with the right hand.
Idk if my mother ever forced me to write with my right hand or not, but something inside me feels off about that, I am most likely overthinking it. I have a lot of suppressed memories, and sometimes I dig up old journals, and some memories I don't even remember will be there...But anyways, doesn't matter about being left dominant, because after getting hit with a car, my left side is weaker and idk if I can do sports or physical activities anymore with that side until it gets fixed or something...
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Speaking of autism again...
My son is autistic, and they say that it's highly likely that one of the parents are too. I have a few family members that are officially diagnosed with autism, and I suspect my father and younger brother have it, because they exhibit those traits because of peculiar habits, interest, and speech. Unknown if I do, and I can't say until I am officially diagnosed. So, I want to see if maybe I am similar or not? Just curious on how my brain works and how to cope with certain things...I used to take everything at surface value if someone told me something, and was too trusting, but now I'm the opposite and have became more suspicious of people after getting hurt too much, and now I overanalyze, when before, i never did. I'm trying to be normal and not hurt people's feelings, but by overthinking things, it stresses me out. I miss being able to just take things at face value, but I wonder if that would make me inconsiderate?...
Welp... I'm tired right now...I want to just relax instead of working on the writing project tbh...I might just switch to mobile instead of computer for it(even though it would be easier on the computer lol, but I want to laydown)...I might take a hiatus from the online world again. I go on certain social media platforms anonymously and scroll through content only to distract myself from what's going on in my current life and procrastinating, instead of fixing the issues ASAP...Apologies that I haven't addressed all of your messages yet. I'll try and pop up here at least once a week on the weekends to respond. I usually put a "heart" if I read it. This 7cups formatting and UI is strange sometimes...So I feel I miss somethings occasionally...
What has been on your mind, by the way? Please feel feel to share anything that's been on your mind lately!
The agency still has not called me back to terminate me.... I'll be honest... I'm upset they haven't. I wanted to file for unemployment while working towards my career type jobs. I submitted the writing task VERY early in the morning for the Canadian channel... it'll probably take a week before I hear back, that's how long it took last time. If I even get to phase 3, I have to figure out an interview time where my family isn't at the house. I'm sure my mother would make it weird and try to sabotage. I don't think the commentator guy from the Canadian channel will care much that my son is with me, as long as the noise is minimal. He seems pretty nice (and also, I won't really be on video much anyways if they hire me. I would just be receiving emails with tasks to complete, and they would MAYBE video call occasionally for meetings? I doubt we would interact much face to face). The writing gig is kind of perfect... I can work WHILE son is home and I can take care of him in the time being.
The final trip is now leaving on Sunday, Dec. 8th. My mum and I, off to Hong Kong first. Which makes the past Tuesday, Dec. 3rd, my last Group Support Session. We have 2 more, on the 10th and 17th. So, on Tuesday, I announced to the Group that my Uncle passed away, and we’re going to HK for the funeral. We had planned to go on our family vacation in November 2025, but since this “funeral” trip is a must-go, we might as well move our vacation to now. But with my Uncle telling my dad this morning that Uncle’s family is not doing the traditional funeral ceremony, my dad does not need to go to HK. So, we changed our trip, and reversed it. (Originally, leaving on the 9th, it’s to fly to Japan as a family of 4, then to HK to attend a funeral, then back to Japan to take a flight back home). Now, my mum and I are leaving on the 8th to HK, then, fly to Japan on the 14th and meet up with my brother and dad, who are leaving for Japan on the 9th. Their trip stays the same, except they’re not going to HK in between.
So, with my mum and I going to HK first, it’s like getting the serious things settled first. Visit Grandma and Grandpa at their grave, then meet up with my Aunts (mum’s side).. We are keeping it a secret to my dad’s side that mum and I are going back to HK. I also told my Big Sis that my mum and I are going to HK next week for one week.. So, she said I could contact her too. (I call her my Big Sis, but we’re not blood-related, she’s the older sister of my brother’s University friend, and back then, when she lived here, that’s what we all call her). So, going to HK with the purpose of hopefully getting some closure with Grandma’s passing. Then, flying to Japan is the “family vacation” as we meet up with brother and dad.. Almost like work first, then play after.
Since Support Group ends Dec. 17th.. I heard they are planning a Christmas Dinner for those who are by themselves.. Especially for those who has lost a spouse or single parents who lost one of the children. Then, in 2025, the next Group Support doesn’t start again until April, so the hosts are planning a “fellowship-like” monthly gathering for our group. There was this one lady in the group, which several weeks ago, at the end of our session as we walked to our cars, she mentioned she’d like to have coffee with me some time. I believe she has returned to work already, but this past Tuesday, she left earlier. Otherwise, I would’ve asked her for her contacts directly. So, I had to ask one of our hosts for her email. This afternoon, I sent her the email, with how I wanted to get her contacts, but she had to leave earlier. And that maybe we could go for coffee or breakfast in the New Year. She arrived a bit later, and came in halfway into my announcement. So, she might’ve missed the part about where that would be my last session, as I’ll be leaving next week.
This Group Support, it’s held in a church, so it’s Christian-based. Usually a 12-week program, where we watch videos and have discussions. Once a week, on Tuesdays, 7-9pm. It’s called GriefShare.
Maybe just come on 7Cups to stay in touch with me.. Ignore everything else.. Heheh..
Your habits, they sound more OCD than autism..
Random thoughts.. Today was my mum’s birthday, Dec. 4th.. Last week, I ordered her favorite Chestnut cake from a bakery where I had a $20 giftcard from work last December.. So, I only had to pay $18 as the difference.. We ordered takeout, Chinese style food for dinner.. My dad and I went out for brunch with her for dim sum, of course, my treat.. I had also bought a necklace for her, a December stone.. She says it’s a waste of money, and told me not to buy anything anymore.. Just a birthday card is enough.. She says, because she has a lot of jewelry (necklaces, rings = and all real gold, silver, diamonds), that what I bought, she doesn’t really need it.. But for me, it’s almost like a traditional thing.. Just a card is not enough.. But buying her clothing, she would most likely return it (she loves buying and returning clothes).. At least something like a necklace, she wouldn’t ask to have it returned. Plus, I chose something just over $100.. So, it wasn’t too expensive.. I even bought one for myself, a January stone. Oh, about that Chestnut cake, it was quite a disappointment.. It seems they carelessly plopped a splatter or chestnut spread on top in the middle, just to hold the paper thin Chocolate where they write Happy Birthday on, just so the Chocolate piece stays put.. After removing the Chocolate, it looked like poop. And as a layer cake, they had the chestnut spread in the bottom layer, and cream in the middle.. Let’s just say, over the past several years, this bakery, and their cake, has declined in quality.. And they’re pricey.. If it weren’t for the Gift Card, I wouldn’t have bought it there.. A year from today, that was when our basement flooded.
Since mum and I are leaving 12pm on Sunday, which means we need to get to the airport by 9am.. We’d better start packing soon.. I have a few more things to do before I leave.. Like, renew my auto insurance (as it will be due the day we return), I’ve cancelled my blood test appointment, and re-scheduled my GP to early January (I made it the same day as my dental appointment, luckily they’re only a block away from each other, and I park at the mall anyways), rather than seeing her in mid-January.. We also need to buy travel insurance, my mum says we’ll do that tomorrow.. My parents will need to get some money for currency exchanges.. For some Japanese Yen, my mum says she still has some HKD.. I also took out some money, so she could exchange them for me to use too, in both HK and Japan.
An hour ago, we confirmed our hotel stay in HK. So, that is settled.. Oh yea, so when my brother called the airlines to change the flight for my mum and I, they had to cancel the original one and book the flights again.. At first, we heard that there’s only like a $400 difference (for both of us together), so, I was like, use my credit card.. Then, once the transaction went through.. It turned out to be the full price of 2 tickets.. Which was $3800.. So, I guess I’ll pay for our flights to HK then.. Oh well, I need to contribute to our trip anyways.. Plus, this purchase could double my travel points for later usages.. It’s all good.
Oh yea, I also finally got a reply from my Manager this afternoon, as I was waiting for my haircut. At first, I told her I could meet up with her in January with a doctor’s note indicating my return to work, and I also mentioned that there was another sudden death in my extended family. Her reply, was that I could take as much time as I need off, that she doesn’t need anything from me, and to reach out to her when I’m ready. So, I replied back.. I was planning to return to work either January or February, and asked if the doctor’s note would be needed if it has to do with work, or if telling her verbally my request is enough.
I also told my family I’d return to work in January too.. Plus I think, my parents think that after visiting Grandma at her grave, that I will be “okay” enough to return to work.. But, like I said, my plan is to work the minimum hours required in a year’s time, for me to keep my position.. So, if the doctor’s note is needed to indicate that I can only work 1 - 2 days a week, and not consecutively, then, I’ll need to ask my GP for the note when I see her in January.. Honestly though, with the grieving of Grandma, I do feel a lot better compared to the beginning, feeling even better than I was in September.. I think nowadays, it’s just that I’m so used to being home, and not needing to deal with the stress and coworkers, that I’m dreading the thought of returning to work..
I messaged one of the nurses a few days ago.. Apparently our GP referred my dad over to a doctor/surgeon in regards to his thyroid (GP felt that it became larger, dad got an Ultrasound done). So, I messaged that nurse (who usually works with the doctor/surgeon), if I went to the appointment with my dad, if the doctor/surgeon would recognize me.. He’s usually at the hospital on Fridays, but I haven’t been working since August, which makes me wonder if he’ll remember me.. He might remember my face, but not my name.. As I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to him before.. The nurse replied that he might recognize me.. Then, I told her, I might do a gradual return to work in January.. She asked how I feel about it.. I said, not excited but I need work..
But I’m thinking now, I’ll see how I feel after visiting Grandma.. I may not be able to request to work right from the beginning in January.. Might be a couple weeks in, we’ll see. It’s almost 10:30pm here now.. I’d better go to bed soon.. It’s been a long day.. We went out for brunch at 10am.. I didn’t get home until 2pm.. Then, we spent a stressful 3 hours looking for hotels until we ordered dinner and my dad and brother went to pick it up..after dinner, my parents continued to look for the hotels and finally decided on one, while I went to my computer and looked at hotel stay in Japan, as we’ll need to stay for one night after arriving, as because it’s late, there’s no transportation to Kyoto where we’d meet my brother and dad.. So, we need to stay overnight at a hotel near the airport upon arrival, then, take transportation out the next day to meet with them instead.. So, today has been a long day.. Especially when I woke up at 3 and 6am too, before getting up around 8:15am.. Only to be called into my brother’s bedroom for a discussion (parents were there already).. The discussion was telling me that Uncle’s family has decided not to do the traditional funeral ceremony, so we had to discuss if we should cancel our trip altogether, or make necessary changes..So the morning discussion..is what led to our final decision and changes of destination and dates.
@ImpudentIncognito
@Jaeteuk That sounds exciting to be travelling so soon! Ah okay, so you and your mother are going to the informal funeral for your paternal uncle (your father's brother), and your father and brother will be waiting for you in Japan, if I understood right? What would you say you look most forward to about the trip? I think it's awesome that you get to see your big sis soon! How long has it been since you have seen her by the way?
That's really nice of the support group to host a dinner during Christmas, especially for those who have lost their family members or those close to them...My family stopped celebrating holidays when I was maybe in my young teens? They found it a waste of time, and I remembered in my young adult years (I lived in the province Saxovisterra) , my cousin's friends invited me over for a friend Christmas and pretty much all of the holidays. I've moved around a lot and didn't really keep in touch with old friends so...it was nice that they invited me. I was the youngest one out of the group of friends. I'm hoping to make new friends again in real life once I move. It's just kind of difficult, since I move around a lot and I lose contact with them after awhile...
Anyhow, I think it's very kind what that support group is doing. I also think it's pretty cool how you made a new friend! Keep me posted on how the coffee hangout goes in the future. :)
Yeah, I think I'll just stick to this thread whenever I go to 7cups. I feel bad that when I come to 7cups, I usually vent and I feel like I get stuck in a hole, you know? Instead of improving my situation...Plus...There's not really new news from me and I think to myself "Dang, am I doing enough? I'm still in the same spot..." Like right now lol. I'm trying to make my UX Design Portfolio, but instead, I'm just looking up a bunch of different examples and I keep redoing what I want to do for the projects instead of sticking to one thing.
True, it could be OCD. I took an unofficial diagnosis test here: https://www.clinical-partners.co.uk/for-adults/anxiety-disorders/ocd/ocd-test It shows that I'm more likely to have ADHD and OCD(though, I'm wondering if really bit could just be my diagnosed PTSD, depression, and anxiety?... some diagnosis have cross over, which is a bit muddy....) I have an uncle diagnosed with ADHD and my oldest brother has diagnosed OCD...I have 5 or more family members with an official autism diagnosis. My younger brother grew up non-verbal like my son and went to speech therapy. My younger brother and dad also exhibit similar behaviours. They're very blunt and don't understand social cues most times...they just do whatever comes to mind and sometimes it comes across as rude. They also are VERY good at things they take interest in at obsessive levels sometimes. My son has an obsession with numbers right now and learned multiplication and division at a young age. He started reading at 3y.o. and reads clearly, however ... when he talks normally , it sounds mostly incoherent and like babbling noises...So, I'm trying to work on that until he gets speech therapy set up again .
Your mother kind of sounds like my father when it comes to gifts. 😅My father always says he doesn't like gifts and to not give him anything...So I usually just opt for food, or we just hang out pretty much (this was back in the day, when we had a better bond, we're...OK now...I guess...) Actually my mother is sort of like this as well? But a bit different. She'll say the gift isn't good enough(aka, not expensive or "good quality") so a little bit different...I remembered my first job in senior high, and I bought electronics (back when it was new and pretty cool!) and she said "You bought everyone else the same thing, it doesn't even work that good"... 🫠 That made me NEVER want to buy a gift again for her.
My younger brother did something sort of similar? When he was graduating high school, I picked out some books from a series he's reading, one of the few books I got was a duplicate of something he already had. He took one look at it and tossed it to the side and went "I already read this one." and ignored it while looking through the other books...just like that...I stopped buy gifts for my family after...I used inundate and spoil the people I dated with gifts lol. I enjoy giving gifts, but...not so much giving...I feel weird about it...
My parents growing up would force pink and girly things onto me, knowing I don't like it but they wanted me to act more like a "girl". Then, when we went out to eat, it was always where my PARENTS wanted to eat, not me...on my OWN birthday...I remembered feeling awful and sick, and I get told to *** because we're going out to eat regardless...It felt awful and I hated my birthday for years and still do lol. Bad memories... Well actually...I prefer to spend birthdays alone...I do "me time" usually. It feels kind of...nice? Idk. I like being alone mostly haha...I'm a turbo introvert -- NOT shy, my social battery just drains faster than most. I can still party, dance, sing, etc, but after maybe a a few hours, I just resign and go do something alone.
Sorry, I'm digressing a lot...Just wanted to say I can relate to the gift thing. My relationship with gifts is complicated. I cried when my current partner bought furniture for my old apartment and blankets. I think I might have cried again when he gave me a guitar for my birthday too. He gave me the most thoughtful, practical gifts ever. He thought about me without me asking. He just observed and figured out what I needed or wanted by listening to me yap or observing his surrounds haha. What's your most favourite gift you have every received by the way? Also, you put in a LOT of effort AND thought into the gift, so that's honestly amazing and considerate of you! You knew your mother liked jewelry and you got her cake to the flavour she likes. I think you're a person with a big heart and compassion, you're amazing. <3
In terms of the currency exchange, is it possible to do while in HK and Japan as well? Growing up, when we travelled to my mother's home country, we would exchange our currency over there. Idk if there's a slight fee difference (maybe due to convenience? Maybe it was cheaper in my mother's home country? idk). How are you feeling overall about the trips to HK and Japan?
Did your manage say anything when you asked if a doctor's note would be necessary or verbal request? You mentioned that she said she doesn't need anything from you...Maybe she knows you're a good worker and isn't worried about it? Probably trusts your word and doesn't need anything further. It's that you have that in writing though, at least, in case anything happens! Good to have a paper trail.
Ooof, sorry you're dreading the thought of returning...that bites. I hope you're able to find something else later on that brings you joy and isn't a toxic work environment. That sounds frustrating and devastating having to return to that 💩. I hope that you see less and less of "superstar" and the "mommy dearest" type of coworkers. To put it bluntly -- they sound like incredibly toxic and awful people. I've worked in places like that, and as soon as it got bad, I looked for backup. I was SO done with that...Tbh though, I also kind of quit certain jobs on the spot without backup but...that was due to being able to work independently/freelance at the time by becoming a delivery driver on those apps...I don't have a car anymore so lol. There's also some jobs like captioning -- they don't pay much, but you can work at your own time and own pace -- usually. I also applied for temp work, which had fast turn around time. Just switching from temp contract to temp contract lol.
Tbh, I'm currently at a temp to hire contract position. I was kind of hoping they would fire me, but they still won't...my trainer really REALLY thinks I can be successful and doesn't want to lose me. It's just that...all of my plans are screwed lol. I was going to save money, and I didn't. I thought "Welp, I'm going to get fired anyways so..." I ended up blowing some off or using large amounts to pay off debt faster rather than moving out faster. Just bills, bills, bills and some fun. Though...maybe it's best I do that?...Just get the debt out of the way, will start life on a clean slate. I helped my BF pay off his debt now. He loaned me around 1,4kCAD or something to help prevent me from getting evicted. I paid him back double during tax season, but...he used it towards CDL classes (totally fine) AND he gave his toxic/physically & verbally abusive dad some money and that made me kind of... 😒Not feel so great about that lol...But he only owed maybe 350CAD or less, so I helped. Why not? 🤷♀️ That's the only debt he has, and it's low. I have debt due to... a few reasons or other. Either A) Going from a good paying job to unemployed B)Moving around and busy with other stressors in life or C) Just terrible life decisions and being irresponsible
I'm planning on trying to be more responsible...I've been INCREDIBLY impulsive lately and it's bad...Just doing things I normally wouldn't do. I miss my old life. I'm trying everything I can to stop feeling so down, but it's difficult sometimes...
Oh in regards to your family's GP, did you guy's get a second opinion yet in regards to the recommendation of a thyroid surgery? What are your thoughts? Do you feel it is best that he get surgery? Also, any new news from your GP about your health? Or did you have to cancel the appointment and wait to hear? Can you do a virtual or over the phone appointment to hear results? That's cool that the nurse recognizes you, I hope she is nice and good to you!
Just curious, have you applied for other writing jobs? :O Would you be permitted to while working the Amazon publishing job? (Does a contract prevent you from working on other writing projects?) It seems you're passionate about writing and books, so thought maybe that might be something you're interested in? (Apologies if I have already asked this question...I think in the past, you mentioned not ready yet to go back fulltime into the Amazon publishing business while grieving...was wondering how you feel now?) Oof, that's so early to wake up around 3am! Do you feel anxious lately? Or maybe excited for the trip? How are you currently feeling?
I'm honestly SUPER stoked for you! Maybe this trip is what you need? Having a nice vacation away from everything -- just finally feeling like you can just BREATH and just BE away from everything. Also...What if you met a special person in either HK or Japan? 👀 I've seen videos of people dating in Japan, and heard Japanese men are EXTREMELY courteous and kind. They don't pressure for anything and take it slowly. My current partner's grandmother is straight from Japan. My partner and I are both mixed-race. It's interesting to see how different and similar our culture can be sometimes.
A short update for now, I'll reply to the other parts another time. It's almost midnight here.
There's a change in our trip, the uncle suddenly sent a message to my dad this evening that they are having a mini funeral at the hospital, and asked the siblings to attend (my dad and the other Uncle that lives near us).. So now, we've been discussing since after dinner, what we can do to change our trip so we can return to HK so my dad can see his brother.. but the trip is all messed up now.. changing times, flights.. so, everything is still unknown.. but it's so stressful, because with the hotels we've already booked, for free cancellations, there's a deadline for when we'll need to decide and cancel..
We have to try and figure everything out now too, as my parents are having lunch with my Uncle tomorrow (Friday).. So.. all this is become more stressful than having fun during vacation.. the changes, might result in that I won't be able to meet with my Big Sis.. Unless she's free afterwards, when we are in HK for my Uncle's ceremony.. but that's 20th to 25th.. So, we'll see.. there's lots of changes right now..
@ImpudentIncognito
oh dang, sorry you have to deal with all of that last minute... Wish they would have told you guys sooner. I hope it all works out though!
Dang it, I made a few errors while writing this last night.
"I enjoy giving gifts, but not so much receiving... I feel weird about it..."
And
"on my OWN birthday... I remembered feeling awful and sick, and I got told to shut the heck up because we're going out to eat regardless..."
I used the abbreviation "STFV" which means shut the eff up when talking about what my parents said to me, but it got censored lol.
I don't think I'll be able to make the long reply of your post now.. So, I'll just quickly talk about my trip and random things I remember.. Sorry if it's all over the place.
So, the first part of our trip is finalized.. Mum and I are still leaving on the 8th, arriving on the 9th.. then, one of my Aunts will take me to visit Grandma in the morning on the 10th, I may or may not meet with my Big Sis for dinner the same day, then, we fly to Japan before noon on the 11th to meet with brother and dad in the afternoon.. We will vacation in Japan (family has places they want to take me, as I'm the only family member who hasn't been to Japan before).. Then, after parents have lunch with Uncle and Aunt today, when they come home later.. we will figure out if we'll fly back to HK on the 20th or not.. If we do, then, we will stay until the 25th.. so, we have a few days to meet with relatives.. then, return to Japan, and then fly home on the 29th.
So my dad and the specialist, seeing the Thyroid doctor.. He called the office yesterday afternoon to see if there were any cancellation appointments before our trip.. There is.. It'll be tomorrow around 1:30pm.. I might have sounded confusing earlier.. Dad doesn't need surgery, it's just that this specialist he's seeing is one of the surgeons at the hospital I work at.. But according to our Locum GP previously, he mentioned that he doesn't need to refer my dad over to see him, as this surgeon takes mainly thyroid cancer patients.. So, I had no idea our primary GP had referred my dad to see him, after she used her hand to feel my dad's left thyroid, saying it felt bigger, and different than the cyst my dad had earlier (that was already drained a couple of months ago). So, I'll probably go with dad to his appointment tomorrow.. see if he'd recognize me too. It's too bad his Ultrasound results for the thyroid is not showing up in his records (we have an online service where we could check all our medical records, the Government created it when COVID first hit). Otherwise, I'd have an idea what will be talked about with the Specialist, but the GP's office called my dad twice this week, asking him to make an appointment with my GP to go over the Ultrasound results, but my dad asked, and they said it wasn't urgent. So, we're guessing the ultrasound is normal, or at least, nothing to worry about it.
About gifts.. I usually buy something that can be practical or something that lasts a long time.. So things like chocolate as gifts, especially a birthday gift, is something I will not buy.. I choose something that I can either be remembered of, when they pick it up and reminded of who gave it to them.. or, let them choose their favorite cuisine and we eat that.. I remember when I had that "best friend" before, her birthdays.. I've given her friendship mugs, handcrafted things, just nothing of which you use once, and it's gone. I also always give physical birthday cards, as that is also something they could choose to keep.
My Big Sis, I saw her last summer, when she visited here. She come visits once a year or every other year because her brother married someone in the States and has 2 sons.. So, my Big Sis usually stops for 3-5 days in my city, before flying into the States.. So, even if I don't meet with her this time, I might see her next summer when she comes..
That reminds me, my mum said I should buy a gift for my Big Sis, as she always gives me something too when we meet. So, I'm currently hand-writing a letter to her.. We did that more often before COVID, almost like penpals.. we'll mail each other a card, slip a letter in it, and sometimes include a gift in the parcel. Now that I don't have much time to shop for a gift, I'll write her a letter instead.. I always have blank cards that I buy whenever I come across nice ones in the store.. So, I have a few to choose from at home already.
My mum is just messaging me.. My Aunt and cousin, is planning a trip to HK with my Uncle to attend the mini funeral tribute.. Except Aunt and cousin will only be staying 4-5 days, as where my Uncle and his wife will stay for a month. Hearing my cousin will be going too, that was unexpected. I'd never thought she'd want to travel with her mum, as they had always been on bad terms. So, this will probably mean we'll go ahead with returning to HK for the 20th - 25th.
I'm going to finish writing this letter.. and if I get the chance, I'll drop another post before I leave. In case I don't come here, have a good remaining of December.. Stay safe with you and your son. Hope all your work and UX Design goes well and you're finally following your own dreams. Even if there are setbacks, don't give up.. do this for you!
I might be able to give short posts while on vacation.. but only when I have Wi-Fi.. otherwise my phone has no data. So, it could just be when I'm in hotels or at airports..
@ImpudentIncognito
Woke up earlier today, need to start packing.
You know, it upsets and frustrates me everytime when my dad says I dress like a boy. How does a red checkered shirt make me look like a boy? Yes, I've cut my hair short, but how does that shirt make me look like a boy? Yes, I've had that shirt for many years, it was in women's wear. I said, under my breath "who cares if I dress like a boy, at least I know I'm a girl". I just hope during our family vacation, my dad doesn't make these upsetting comments about me.. it really affects my mood.
(Mobile App)
@Jaeteuk I can relate to that honestly growing up and into some of my young adult years... That was rather rude and upsetting that your father said you dress like a boy. Completely unnecessary commentary! Women don't have to dress traditionally feminine to be a woman. It's dumb...
In the past, I used to wear my hair in a pixie. I happen to be really tall and have rather sharp cheekbones, so many would confuse me as a teenage boy. 😅 I used to get bullied for being an "effeminate boy" when really, I was more of a "masculine girl"...it's a long story and I don't really feel like talking about it for the moment... 🫠 Just that I nearly would get beatings from my father for it and mocked by my mother mercilessly and kids at school were not very nice...and yeah not good memories....some other time. I want to stay optimistic for the moment! Currently working on my portfolio haha.
I'm going to respond to your other message here:
❝I don't think I'll be able to make the long reply of your post now.. So, I'll just quickly talk about my trip and random things I remember.. Sorry if it's all over the place.
So, the first part of our trip is finalized.. Mum and I are still leaving on the 8th, arriving on the 9th.. then, one of my Aunts will take me to visit Grandma in the morning on the 10th, I may or may not meet with my Big Sis for dinner the same day, then, we fly to Japan before noon on the 11th to meet with brother and dad in the afternoon.. We will vacation in Japan (family has places they want to take me, as I'm the only family member who hasn't been to Japan before).. Then, after parents have lunch with Uncle and Aunt today, when they come home later.. we will figure out if we'll fly back to HK on the 20th or not.. If we do, then, we will stay until the 25th.. so, we have a few days to meet with relatives.. then, return to Japan, and then fly home on the 29th.❞
No worries about being unable to respond to the full message! I understand you're currently busy. I'll be checking by in 7cups occasionally and reading what you post. :) Sometimes, I do lose some of the replies....this new design of 7cups is...eh...it's OK...just getting used to it after being gone for so long haha.
I'm glad the schedule is at least getting more finalized! Hopefully it won't change again so it's easier on you guys...
❝So my dad and the specialist, seeing the Thyroid doctor.. He called the
office yesterday afternoon to see if there were any cancellation
appointments before our trip.. There is.. It'll be tomorrow around
1:30pm.. I might have sounded confusing earlier.. Dad doesn't need
surgery, it's just that this specialist he's seeing is one of the
surgeons at the hospital I work at.. But according to our Locum GP
previously, he mentioned that he doesn't need to refer my dad over to
see him, as this surgeon takes mainly thyroid cancer patients.. So, I
had no idea our primary GP had referred my dad to see him, after she
used her hand to feel my dad's left thyroid, saying it felt bigger, and
different than the cyst my dad had earlier (that was already drained a
couple of months ago). So, I'll probably go with dad to his appointment
tomorrow.. see if he'd recognize me too. It's too bad his Ultrasound
results for the thyroid is not showing up in his records (we have an
online service where we could check all our medical records, the
Government created it when COVID first hit). Otherwise, I'd have an idea
what will be talked about with the Specialist, but the GP's office
called my dad twice this week, asking him to make an appointment with my
GP to go over the Ultrasound results, but my dad asked, and they said
it wasn't urgent. So, we're guessing the ultrasound is normal, or at
least, nothing to worry about it.❞
Ah okay, that makes sense. Will the ultra sound results be an over the phone appointment or virtual since you guys will be out of the country by Monday? How do you feel about the hospital staff recognizing you? Do you have good relation with them? Or neutral?
❝About gifts.. I usually buy something that can be practical or something that lasts a long time.. So things like chocolate as gifts, especially a birthday gift, is something I will not buy.. I choose something that I can either be remembered of, when they pick it up and reminded of who gave it to them.. or, let them choose their favorite cuisine and we eat that.. I remember when I had that "best friend" before, her birthdays.. I've given her friendship mugs, handcrafted things, just nothing of which you use once, and it's gone. I also always give physical birthday cards, as that is also something they could choose to keep.
My Big Sis, I saw her last summer, when she visited here. She come visits once a year or every other year because her brother married someone in the States and has 2 sons.. So, my Big Sis usually stops for 3-5 days in my city, before flying into the States.. So, even if I don't meet with her this time, I might see her next summer when she comes..
That reminds me, my mum said I should buy a gift for my Big Sis, as she always gives me something too when we meet. So, I'm currently hand-writing a letter to her.. We did that more often before COVID, almost like penpals.. we'll mail each other a card, slip a letter in it, and sometimes include a gift in the parcel. Now that I don't have much time to shop for a gift, I'll write her a letter instead.. I always have blank cards that I buy whenever I come across nice ones in the store.. So, I have a few to choose from at home already. ❞
Sounds like you're a swell gift-giver! Practical gifts are the way to go. If you don't mind me asking, what happened to that "best friend" you gave friendship mugs and handcrafts too? I think the bond you have with Big Sis is really cool! I would LOVE to have a pen pal letter! I've been rather interested in stationary and sending snail mail for the longest time. I signed up for this website and even an app to send long messages back and forth with pen pals, but I quit using those after awhile...I feel overwhelmed with what's going on with life currently that it's difficult to establish new bonds and going through the same song-and-dance of small talk in the beginning (Nothing wrong with small talk) I just idk...I'm too anxious and overwhelmed. I was planning on trying again when I live in a more stable environment alone, with just son and myself.
❝My mum is just messaging me.. My Aunt and cousin, is planning a trip to HK with my Uncle to attend the mini funeral tribute.. Except Aunt and cousin will only be staying 4-5 days, as where my Uncle and his wife will stay for a month. Hearing my cousin will be going too, that was unexpected. I'd never thought she'd want to travel with her mum, as they had always been on bad terms. So, this will probably mean we'll go ahead with returning to HK for the 20th - 25th.
I'm going to finish writing this letter.. and if I get the chance, I'll drop another post before I leave. In case I don't come here, have a good remaining of December.. Stay safe with you and your son. Hope all your work and UX Design goes well and you're finally following your own dreams. Even if there are setbacks, don't give up.. do this for you!
I might be able to give short posts while on vacation.. but only when I have Wi-Fi.. otherwise my phone has no data. So, it could just be when I'm in hotels or at airports..❞
Oh, that's interesting that your...I guess the lone-wolf cousin is going on the trip with her mother. Do you think things changed between them or maybe she wants to go see other family members? Or maybe she was close to that uncle? Oh! Did lone-wolf cousin happen to post a review for your book too? I think last time you mentioned she has not done so yet, but the cousin (I think in the state) you were closer to did.
Thanks! I've been brainstorming some ideas for apps that I'm passionate about. Most of the ideas are very personal to me, so I feel the project will go rather fine OR...I'll be a perfectionist and take FOREVER to ensure my vision is seen hahaha. I'm planning on scrubbing up on my coding skills, which is TOTALLY unnecessary for UX Design tbh but... I just want to learn for fun and for my own projects. I don't think I would want to code for a company, because THAT is stressful. For myself? Yes, yes indeed! Also, I will have to interact with engineers as a UX Designer, so it kind of helps get a deeper dive in understanding their role and us working together better haha.
Again, no worries about posting nor the length! I'll be here every step of the way reading them. :) I might not respond right away, since I stay up working on this dang portfolio, but I will make an effort! I sincerely enjoy talking to you. <3
When you use the mobile app, do you also get very little font color choices? I think I'll be using that blue when I use the mobile app for posts. It took me forever to figure out how to change the font color.. heheh
Oh, that "best friend".. I met her when I was in 6th grade.. we went to middle school together (grade 6-8), although different high schools, but we met up once a month (because we lived in different regions, we ended up going to different high schools, but it was still close by). Then, for University, I went for my first year in a different part of the Province (12 hour drive away up North), while she stayed in town for her 4 years. I dropped out of my second year and returned home, but back then, because of my dad's work, we moved to a different city, which was about an hour's drive away from our hometown. We lived there for 7-8 years until my dad retired, and I met up with the "best friend" like once every few months, and mostly around birthdays to exchange gifts. We'd meet mid-way based on where we both lived. Or sometimes, her then, boyfriend will drive her out to where I live, and we met up for a meal. At other times, she would drive out herself earlier, before her dad gets off work, and then we'd meet up for a meal. When, my dad retired, we moved back into our hometown. Then, about 10 years ago, I broke off our friendship, because of all the years we've known each other (15 years) I initiated all our meetings.. I'm always the one to ask her, if she's free to meet or when to meet. Then, there were one too many times, where she'd cancel last minute.. Like, after I've arrived at our mid-way point. When I called off our "friendship" and I gave her that reason, she said, "Well, you know I've been like this since Day 1".. and she didn't do anything to want to keep our friendship.. so, I haven't talked to her since.. She also ended up marrying her then, boyfriend, and now has a son. But about her, that's all I know.. and this was maybe 6 years ago.. that was when I last heard from her..
So, I went to that appointment with my dad.. I didn't even get a chance to introduce myself to him, but he clearly didn't recognize me.. that could also be because I haven't been working since August, and even when I did work at the hospital, I haven't spoken to him before.. I've just seen him around when I worked Fridays. Everything is fine, ultrasound is normal.. it turns out, just because my dad told our GP that he sometimes have a change in voice, like twice a week.. so, the GP did the referral. But because he's a Thyroid Cancer doctor/surgeon, my dad's other symptoms like nose congestions or ears plugging.. he's like, it has nothing to do with the thyroid.
So, with my Aunt and cousin.. here's the inside story: Aunt is very sad, because a few days before Uncle's stroke, she called him all talk on the phone, but Uncle was busy and they didn't get a chance to talk long.. she asked him to call her back when he's free.. When he did call, my Aunt was in the middle of buying pizza and again, they didn't get a chance to talk much and hung up.. Then, the next news about Uncle, was his stroke and passing.. So, Aunt is very sad.. with lots of regrets.. that she'll never get the chance to finish their conversation anymore. As to why my cousin is tagging along, it turns out it's because Aunt doesn't want to travel alone.. probably because she's old and her English is no good (needed for when leaving our airport).. or she just wants someone to go with her.. But cousin is very tricky, she told her mum that unless they stay at the empty home her in-laws have in HK, then she won't return with her. They also cannot arrive until the 21st (ceremony is the 22nd), because cousin has to wait until her kids start their winter holidays from school first, which starts on the 20th.
So, since we are returning to HK as a family, then, we will visit Grandma then (we might go see Grandpa too, dad's dad, he passed many years ago).. So on the 10th, maybe I'll just meet with my Big Sis.. She just said, she has a meeting from 2-4pm, so, if I call her, she should be able to answer the phone at other times.. My mum has not made plans to meet with any of her sisters in the morning.. So, I guess we'll see how we feel after a night's sleep in the morning of the 10th.. We're staying at one of the many Airport Hotels.
This will be my last post until whenever I get the chance or have an experience that's worth sharing.. Tomorrow, we'll have to wake up earlier, to have breakfast.. as Dad says we'll leave the house at 8am.. Until then!~
@ImpudentIncognito
𝒟𝑒𝒶𝓇 @Jaeteuk,
Indeed, yes...the colours are more limited on the mobile app. I used to use to mobile app for the longest time, but eventually switched over to the computer.
Yikes! Your former best friend sounds like a jerk to be honest...I had something similar happen, I met this girl when we were in grade school. Long story short, when she went to a more prestigious school, she pretty much ghosted me even though we nearly grew up together. We both have immigrant parents, and both were pretty competitive, so I guess in a way, we were more so like "frenemies" than friends, but I was oblivious to it for the longest time...
I am glad though that you have great friends by your side, such as the coworker who you occasionally babysit her Frenchy and Big Sis, who comes around too. I hope to have friends like that IRL one day...
Oh okay, so those people you see at the doctor's office for your dad's appointment are those you work adjacent too or see every once in a while, but not really work directly with? That's kind of cool though that you get to see familiar (and hopefully friendly) faces!
Oh man, that's a little insidious/deceitful of your cousin to do that to her mother...Your aunt is grieving over the loss of her brother, and your cousin, it sounds like, is trying to make demands to her own benefit while your aunt (her mother) feels depressed and awful... I'm sorry your family is going through the tough times by the way...2 passings only within a few months apart from both sides of the family.
Ah! So you may see your Big Sis tomorrow then (Tuesday). That's awesome! I hope the trip is going well for you. I believe by the time you receive this message, you may be flying or reunited with some family members. :) I wish you the best! And again, I'll be here, reading your posts whenever you stop by.
𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓂 𝓇𝑒𝑔𝒶𝓇𝒹𝓈,
𝒞𝑜𝑔
Cog's,
Our plane landed 40 mins earlier than scheduled at 5 minutes to 6pm. But we waited a long time for our luggage to come around on the luggage belt. We ended up eating a quick dinner at the airport too, and didn't arrive at our airport hotel until 8pm. Before eating, my mum bought 2 transit cards, one for me and one for my brother, when we return to HK again next time to use. The hotel has free shuttle bus service that continously does round trips to and from the airport from 6am to 11:45pm.
I contacted my Big Sis upon landing and also once arrival at the hotel. It's currently 3:35am, last night, around 9pm, I told her I'll decide in the morning, which subway station to meet her at. She gave me two choices, but I'll just choose the station that's one stop from the airport. Closer and easier for me, and get her to wait by the gate I get off, otherwise, when my phone is not able to contact her if there's no free Wi-Fi at the station, need to organize the place and time to meet beforehand. Also, I'm not familiar with any place in HK, need to have specific place to meet her.
That former best friend, I had considered her as my best friend, but seeing how our friendship ended, she didn't feel the same way with me. Which was unfortunate, as I had thought that we could be girlfriends for the rest of our lives.
This coworker, we didn't get close until this past May, but I'm hoping we can stay friends from now on. Yes, and with Big Sis, I will definitely stay in touch with her forever too. Our postal service is on strike at the moment. Maybe when it returns to normal, I will continue with writing physical letters to her again.
My cousin is a horrible daughter. No one in my family likes her. She's so fake, acts all good in front of others, but behind closed doors, she treats her like a slave and threatens her mum with everything. It's a toxic relationship between the two, I heard they argue a lot.
I fell asleep before 10pm, was woken up around 11:30pm, when my dad called my mum. After they talked, I went back to sleep and woke up again around 1:30am and now, around 3:30am.. last night, my mum had me turn on the alarm for 10:30am. She said we'll skip breakfast and eat a brunch. Plus, we have to check-in into our next flight at 11am.
My mum plans to just stay at the hotel/airport today. Ask one of her sisters to come meet her at the airport to hang out, during the time I go and meet my Big Sis. That way, when I return to the airport after dinner, we can take the free shuttle bus back to the hotel together.
We also have to figure out our original flight schedule with the airline. We were first booked that we'd stay here until the 14th, and fly out to Japan on the 14th. But with the sudden death, we had to add flights in between. Before we departed back home, the staff of our airline said, if we end up as a no-show in our middle flight, our final flight home would be canceled too. My mum had my brother/dad call the airline to ask about it, but was told, because we were in flight on the first trip, they can't do anything about it. So, now, my mum will have to try and figure it out at the airport today. I'll also have to see what they talked about last night with my dad. The night before we flew, I only slept for 3 hours. In our 14 hour flight, I wasn't able to fall asleep. Just had a few hours here and there where I listened to classical music and closed my eyes to rest. My mum watched movie after movie with the earphones the airline provided, with both sides in her ear. While on the other hand, I only listened to everything with my right ear. Need to be able to hear announcements feom the crew or flight attendants offering us with drinks and meals.
I'm going to try and sleep a couple more hours. Mum's snoring a little.
𝒟𝑒𝒶𝓇 @Jaeteuk,
That's cool that your hotel has a free shuttle bus service! Definitely makes it easier to travel to and from the airport.
How was the meeting with your Big Sis by the way? What did you guys end up doing together? I feel you on the former best friends...I guess some people stay in our lives for a chapter or sometimes a season. I travel so much, and...even if I have experiences with certain people who portray rather despicable...traits or behaviours, I don't think I can ever regret it? I just learn from it and move forward. I've had a couple of former best friends now, and I'm trying to learn how to be a better friend too...I tend to shut down when I have issues in life and self-isolate, which isn't really good for friendship...I should warn before doing that. I just feel bad a lot of the times and feel like I am burdening the other person, so I need to work on that.
It sounds like the coworker with Frenchy is really kind and mellow. I too hope things continue to go well between you two! Oh dang, that bites that the post office is currently on strike...Curious why that is. Hope things resume to normal though.
Ooof, that bites that your cousin in going on the same trip. I hope she doesn't bother your aunt too much...Maybe your aunt will end up hanging with you guys more instead to avoid her daughter? That just sounds frustrating having to deal with someone like that, and who causes issues with everyone...
Oh dang, did the airline issue get fixed by the way? That bites having to deal with it...It also bites that you weren't able to get much sleep...Hopefully you receive more restful sleep on the next flight or when you guys are able to rest in a hotel.
𝒲𝒾𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁,
𝒞𝑜𝑔
The meeting with my Big Sis was good. She was like 5 minutes late, as her meeting went over time, but it's all good. We ate at a Pho restaurant, then, walked around the mall a bit, then sat down at a Cafe and had dessert. We were going to contact my mum (she ended up walking in the mall by herself, as she waits for us the finish), but her phone wasn't working. Big Sis and I were thinking we'd have to make a mall announcement. Luckily, when we went to the area we said I'd meet up with her, so we could take the train back, she was waiting nearby. It was a bit of a scare though, not sure if we had to walk through each store to look for her or make a mall announcement that I lost a parent.
We're at the airport now, our 11:30am flight is delayed to 1pm to Japan. So, we'll most likely meet up brother and dad at the hotel, rather than have them wait for us at the airport. They arrive around noon through domestic flight.
With my Aunt and cousin, we arrive on different dates and time.. and we're probably not staying in the same region. But we booked the same hotel as our Uncle, who I think leaves Japan in a couple of days to Hong Kong, where they will stay for a month. Aunt and cousin will be staying in HK until the 30th, where we'll fly back to Japan on the 25th.
Luckily at the hotel, I slept okay, just waking up a couple of times per night.
My mum and I got into a couple of mini arguments this morning at the airport.. with different views.. I'm someone who takes turns.. I felt like we budged in line.. but she was like, it's the staff who told us to line up.. I saw there was a long line-up of passengers standing in line behind one counter, and the staff asked and pointed the next person in that lineup to stand behind different counters. While when we were walking past, my mum just walked to wait behind other counters with lesser people.. so, I felt we were suppose to first lineup where the long line of people were first, then have the staff point us to other lineups. So, I felt my mum budged in line.. but she was like we aren't.. it felt uncomfortable for me..
Then, we went to fill up our water bottles and the water dispensing station. I had trouble getting the hot water, and ended up getting cold.. I tried pressing and holding onto the hot water button, but it had no response. So, I thought I'll just wait until we get on the plane and ask for a cup of hot water to mix it with the cold in my thermos. Then, she asked me if I got hot water.. I said I couldn't get it to work.. then she annoyingly told me I had to hold the button and give more pressure on the button.. I tried and there was no response.. she made it sound like I'm stupid and couldn't get the hot water.. she was like, the reason to get the hot water was so that cold water doesn't irritate my throat to cough if I drink it. I said, it's just important we could get water.. as for hot water, I'll just ask for it on the plane to fill it into my thermos to get warm drinking water.. mum got upset..
Then, another incident happened when we both misunderstood signs showing how to get to our departure gates.. I saw signs saying we had to go down by escalator, so, I assumed it's one floor down.. she had to push a cart, so we took the elevator. But turns out one floor down was only for airport staff. And 2 floors down was a different gate number ranges.. so, more arguing again.. 3 arguments in like 2 hours..
Is it just me being sensitive or in her mind, I'm just being stupid and shouldn't follow own principles? And it's like my first time in this airport, since I last came back in 2008.. what does she expect my reactions to be?
Sorry, I'm just venting now.
@Jaeteuk
It's great to hear that the meeting with your Big Sis went well! Yum, pho! What kind of pho do you like? I usually order seafood pho. I haven't had it in a while...pho was something my ex/son's father used to enjoy and I'd take him out on his birthday or bring it back home...I'm planning on changing my memory of pho with a better one though...
That sounds a bit scary to lose someone in the store, glad you guys were all able to reunite after! Ah, so you guys paired off into twos pretty much and will be arriving at different times? Your dad & brother, and you & your mother (as well as your cousin & your aunt)?
To be honest, that sounds exhausting that she argued with you for several hours today. No, you're NOT oversensitive, everything you said makes sense to me. I kind of hate getting into those situations that you mentioned...I had something similar happened to me, but with my uncle, his wife, and my male cousin. Basically, I grew up catholic, so we would celebrate "lent", which is sacrificing something you like to do for 40 days. I was already an atheist at that time, but I like to see it as a 40 day challenge. During that time, I just took cold showers, quit caffeine, quit eating meat (my mother is allergic to red meat, so i wanted to see what it was like), exercised/lifted weights daily, and quit junk food...
Anyways, I went on a trip with my uncle, his wife, and my cousin...And I was hungry, but didn't really want to eat junk food. My cousin coxed me saying "it's only one time". So I get a small bag of chips. My aunt is like "Why would you get a small bag of chips? You'll end up being hungry, it would be stupid to buy a small bag" so I got a big bag and asked if anyone wanted some, only for my uncle to go "It was VERY stupid of you to even buy the big bag of chips if you weren't going to eat them all in the first place"....
So yeah...that's how my family (mother's side) acts like. They always want to be right, and they're overbearing. If you comment, you're just "sensitive". I'm sick of that...I don't think it's sensitive to voice concerns. I tend to be an overthinker on things, and try to be thoughtful/considerate of my actions, so if someone implies I'm "dumb" for doing things a certain way, yeah...I'm going to be irritated, especially when I put in some or a LOT of thought into what I was going to do...So I understand how it is also upsetting for you.
No worries, feel free to vent! I'm here to be a listening ear and offer support too! 💖
There wasn't much choices with the pho, so just had the regular beef. I was hoping a could drink the Vietnamese drip coffee, but they didn't have it. I ordered what I thought was a normal coffee-tea drink, but it ended up tasting like a mocha.
We had some dessert afterwards at a place called Beans. We share a 70% dark chocolate lava cake that came with one scoop of vanilla ice cream. But I think they poured some soda over it, as that was the flavor and effect it had when I ate it. Which made it unique.
With our flight delayed, we ended up arriving around 5pm local time in Okinawa. Brother told us to take a taxi to the hotel, rather than the monorail like they did. As they were being thoughtful, there's a bit of a walk from the station to the hotel. And the sidewalk is all little rocks, like solid sidewalk made from rocks, so it's like uneven pavement. It would be difficult for us to take our luggage and it was raining too. Brother and dad were waiting at the entrance of the hotel for us, as we needed to check-in with our passport.
My brother had a restaurant he wanted to take us for dinner, but it ended up being closed, so, we went into another restaurant we passed by earlier that had the most customers. We will be trying the hotel's breakfast this morning, brother bought the meals (6am now). We have a land tour with a meeting time of 8:45am later. So, we need to go for breakfast at 7am. Our hotel also has free drinks, ice cream, Ramen all day.. drinks, both alcohol and non-alcohol. Ice cream, 3 flavors, you get to scoop it ourselves. When we went there after dinner, it was packed with people. I didn't try anything though, was full and tired. I even went back to our hotel room first, to take a shower. I'm sleeping in the room with my brother. Parent's room, they made a mistake, they have 3 beds.. small, medium, large..
Yes, we're all arriving in HK at different times for Uncle's funeral.. there's also another Uncle and Aunt going, they're the ones that will be staying for a month. One of Dad's younger brother. So now, with my dad.. he has 2 siblings living in the same area as us, and 2 siblings in HK is left, as 3rd brother is gone. The 2nd and 6th is in HK. My dad is the 4th, with 5th brother and eldest sister both living an hour's drive away from us.
Last night, during dinner.. menu had no English.. family took out their phone to use Google translate, I forgot to download the Japanese language and didn't work offline as I do not have data on my phone. I didn't say anything though, cause I knew my mum would've said "I told you so, that you needed to download it first".. so I just kept quiet, otherwise there'd be more bickering between us.. and it can't happen in front of my dad and brother.
When we were walking to and back from the hotel, I kept my distance.. brother took the lead, parents walked nearly beside him, and I stayed in the back.. mainly because if I walked too close to mum, I always end up stepping on her shoes.. and she gets upset.. but now with dad and brother here, I don't need to stay super close and worry about losing her in the crowd. On the other hand, I just need to stay close enough so they don't forget about me.. lolz
I turned on the TV last night, there were only like 5 channels.. all Japanese.. where as in HK, there were 30-some channels, with different languages and even had a channel in Korean. I need to start looking for clothes to wear soon.
Check-in next time!
@Jaeteuk
Ah okay, beef pho is still pretty good! Ooo, I haven't had Vietnamese drip coffee in a long time! It has a unique taste Have you had Japanese coffee by chance? I've had the canned kind, and it's really good! If you do end up going to a Japanese cafe, let me know how the coffee there is like! This might be a silly question, but is boba tea also very popular in HK? I heard it originated in Taiwan, but it's popular in many other continents around the world, where I currently reside, my neighbouring countries, and my mother's home country. I think it tastes OK. I just don't like the little tapioca balls inside but...that would defeat the purpose of drinking boba tea...😅
That dark chocolate lava cake sounds like an interesting dessert with the added soda to it!
Your brother sounds like a nice dude! That was considerate of him to let you guys know tasking the taxi would be pretty helpful for you guys, and he also took you guys out to dinner. Really nice of him! Sounds like the hotel also has some pretty interesting food heh. Do they also offer rice? I love rice! Would be pretty cool...How is the ramen there? I don't think I ever had authentic ramen except for the the ones my ex fiancé/FoS made for me... Oh dang, I guess your parents could probably use the 3rd bed to put stuff on?
Oh...that sounds exhausting having to deal with that. You have a lot on your mind right now, so I wouldn't fault you for not downloading the Japanese translations offline. Also, the hotel probably has some free wi-fi, right? So you'll be able to download it later. Ah, that bites that there are only 5 channels. I wonder if you can cast what's on your phone to the TV and watch K-Dramas on there?
𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓂 𝓇𝑒𝑔𝒶𝓇𝒹𝓈,
𝒞𝑜𝑔
My brother took us to a Japanese Cafe today, he went alone yesterday. Mt mum and I both tried their drip coffee.. definitely tastes better than regular coffee.. my mum ordered an apple cake and I had a chocolate-strawberry cake.. both were not too sweet, goes well with the coffee..
We ended up walking all morning, in search of breakfast.. but when we took the subway to Kyoto station, many of the places to eat open at 11am.. so, it was just a lot of walking around, they have shopping down where the subway is.. we also went back on ground, but the Cafes my brother found online, none of them were for breakfast, all for dessert and coffee..
I got a pair of new glasses yesterday.. worth more than half the price of Canadian dollar.. with free eye test.. more stylish and they were ready for pick up in 30 minutes.. where in Canada, they usually tell us to pick it up in 2 weeks.. and are much more expensive.
Today is our last night in Kyoto, it is currently December 19th, 6:11pm here. Tomorrow, around 11am, we will be making our way to the airport to fly back to Hong Kong, where we will stay until the 25th, then, fly to Tokyo. Leaving Japan on the 29th back home.
We've made meetings and meals with my mum's side, all my Aunties.. then, my cousin asked us out for lunch one day.. my brother will be meeting his elementary school friend for one dinner time.. my mum's friend, another couple that went to HK earlier, also asked to meet us for lunch..
It's always tiring every day.. we walk SO much.. I feel like I walk too much that my lower back hurts even when I laugh.. its weird.. like the muscle does a spasm, makes me curl forward when I laugh because it hurts.. but I also find, after walking 15,000 steps, my lower back hurts even when I don't laugh.
The current hotel offers chrome cast. So, I can play YouTube from my account.. as the YouTube it offers only has Japanese in the search bar..
I tried watching a K-drama I started watching before we went on vacation through an app. But, I'm unable to play it on my phone. Maybe with the region I'm in, it doesn't cover it.
Gotta go, being rushed to bring money to the laundry room.
That sounds yummy! I wonder how the drip coffee in Japan compares to the Vietnamese drip coffee. 🤔 Interesting on the desserts not being too sweet. It's similar to how the treats are in my mother's home country compared to here. In my mother's home country, the flavours tend to be strong and/or spicy.
Oh, that bites that there wasn't any breakfast food open before 11am...Sounds rather frustrating. I'm glad thought you guys were able to get some coffee and dessert though!
Good to hear you were able to pick up some glasses quickly while there! Same here, it usually takes a while to get glasses. I usually wear contact lenses or I wear nothing at all when I'm at home, just depends. I only switch to glasses as the end of the day. My son has broken my glasses in the past, so I wear them less. Hoping to get eye surgery though in the near future since I already have astigmatism in one eye, and the other has the vision going in and out due to health issues...
Hope you had a great time while in Kyoto! At least after HK, you'll be going back to Japan. I wonder how Kyoto and Tokyo compare?
It sounds like it'll be busy once you get to HK. It's nice that your family invited you though to have lunch right away. I hope you also have some time to yourself to rest, since you mentioned having back pain from walking everywhere in Kyoto.
Thats unfortunate that you weren't able to watch K-Dramas. Hopefully once you're in HK you're able to! And maybe even in Tokyo when you depart from HK?
Okay, enjoy your vacation! 😊
((Wrote this on mobile app, unsure of what the formatting will look like...))
We arrived in HK at 8:40pm last night. We didn't get our luggage until 9:30pm.. took nearly an hour to get to our hotel by Uber. There were traffic in a few areas, even after 10pm. Our Uncle that also arrived in HK 10 days ago, staying in the same hotel, waited for us at the front. Took us to where we checked-in. We dropped off our luggage in our room, and he took us to a place nearby for late night meal.. that was at 11pm, the restaurant closes midnight.
When we went back to our hotel.. noticed everything was super dirty.. even found some bed ticks.. shower area is super small.. just, deserves a 1 star review.. we're thinking of staying another night only, cancel the remaining nights and stay somewhere else..
I felt itchy all night, and the room's odor is horrible. I coughed a lot when I first entered the room.. although it says it's a non-smoking room, it still smells horrible. And our hotel room's door, is like an arm's length to the elevator.
This morning, we are meeting our Aunts (mum's side) for brunch, then going to visit Grandma at her grave afterwards.
Chat later, need to charge my phone a bit before we leave the hotel at 8:45am.. it's now 7:25am.. and I want to wash my hair first.. it was too late to wash it last night.. by the time we finished inspecting the bed, it was past 1am already.
Merry Christmas, in case I don't check in before then. It's going to be busy these days here in HK for us.
Dang, that bites that you had to wait an hour to get your luggage AND to get to the hotel...Omg, that's AWFUL that you have to sleep in those conditions!! Would you guys be able to stay with family members instead of in the hotel? Will they have room for you guys?
Whenever we visit my mother's family, we usually stay a few days at one relatives house and bounce around to different ones. They kept inviting us over to stay lol. It was pretty fun in the past...but due to the passing of many relatives in the home country, my family is a bit more gloom (understandably) and I haven't seen them in a while. Had a family member get m*rdered too, which is awful...It was my cousin's ex brother-in-law. Can't imagine what they were going thru when that happened...
Anyways...
Merry Christmas to you too! Hope all is well. I'll be here reading your posts and will respond as much as possible.
I will probably stop working current job soon...it's a long story, but I posted a little bit in my journal entries on 7cups. I'm transitioning to the UX Design career, but finding myself enjoying coding again lol. I'm touching base on CSS/HTML again, and I actually miss it...
@Jaeteuk
No, there's no place in relatives homes.. as apartment space is very small here in HK.. we'll see how things go.. it's just that canceling and moving out will be charged a large fee.. so, we might not be moving elsewhere. Just need to endure it until we leave again on the 25th.
It's almost 4:30pm here. This morning, we had brunch with my mum's side.. all my other Aunts except my 5th Aunt who lives in the States.. 3rd and 7th Aunt, their husbands (uncles) came along.. after the meal, 7th Aunt took us to see Grandma.. I felt a little emotional as I said some prayers, but it was nice to see her and Grandpa reunited. As I never met my Grandpa. Then, we parted ways with 7th Aunt, and took an Uber to see Grandpa, dad's dad, who passed away 12 years ago..
Since we ate so much this morning, on our way back to the hotel, dad got a coffee, bro and mum went into a place that specializes in a certain delicacy.. the effects of eating it helps my brother deal with cold sores and growing pimples because of the foods we eat.. but this type of dessert, my body cannot take it.. so, dad and I waited outside.. but they ended up bringing me a bottle of something that claims could help with my throat.. as I always need to clear my throat as it always feels irritated.. it's more often here in HK, because unlike in Japan, people are allowed to smoke in the streets.. in Japan, there are designated areas for people to smoke, or at airports, there are "enclosed smoking rooms". Where as in HK, people smoke everywhere.. only riding on public transportation, where smoking is prohibited.. we walked through parks, where I saw written on the ground at the entrance, saying that smoking is not allowed, yet, you'd still see people smoking on the side..
Maybe because today is a Saturday, the streets do not have as many people as I remembered seeing when I last visited back in 2008.. so, we'll see how much difference it'd be on Monday and Tuesday. We return to Tokyo in the 25th..
Oh yea, we also ended up changing hotels in Tokyo too..not trusting the travel agent with our booking, since our current place is more like a motel than a hotel.. it's more frustrating because my brother used points to reserve this hotel, so it's now like a waste.. and the name of the hotel is supposedly more common in the States and Canada.. so, seeing how this place is.. we're all disgusted. The only upside is, there are many different places to eat around the block.. but last night, when we walked through the back alleys, we saw 2 little mice scurrying across the street!
We're now resting in the hotel room, my Uncle (the one that came to HK earlier this month) asked us if we wanted to have dinner with him tonight. Since he waited for our arrival last night, and even took us out to eat at 11pm, we will wait until Auntie finishes church, and eat with them afterwards.. which he says that it will have to be after 7:30pm.
Tomorrow, the morning is Uncle's funeral service, at like 9:30am.. then, they have like a tradition where like a bus takes us to go eat a funeral meal somewhere.. then, for dinner.. my cousin is treating us.. where we will see 3rd Aunt and Uncle, plus my 2 cousins.. both married, female cousin has no kids, whereas her older brother is married with 2 girls.. apparently my mum said, the female cousin always treats my parents whenever they came to visit. My brother and I haven't seen our cousins at least since 2008.. my brother might have seen one of them in more recent years.. both married well.. female cousin married a guy who plays with stocks and earns a lot of money, so my cousin has joined many wealthy women clubs.. and my male cousin, married into a family that owns some sort of famous clothing brand in Mainland China..both cousins did their University back in Canada.. but they moved back as a family to HK after graduation.. (so, back then, when I was in Elementary School, my 3rd Aunt and uncle + my 2 cousins lived a street below us). At one point, my female cousin even gave me piano lessons, then, when she got too busy with University, I took the lessons through a music school instead. Then, when my Aunt came to Canada with my other cousin, she's more gifted in music, I ended up getting lessons from her when I went to middle school/high school.. she also ended up Majoring in Music in University too.. of course now, she doesn't teach much anymore, maybe just her sons, and she works as like a bookkeeper for the University she studies at, but in the Asian Studies Department. The thing is, since she's a staff at the University, if her eldest son end up studying there, it's cheaper in tuition. That's why she's stayed there all these years. I'll probably see her tomorrow at the funeral.. her and Aunt arrived in HK the day before us, and will be staying until the 30th. They have a place to stay, as her in-laws have a dormitory in HK that they kept, as her in-laws both worked a Government job back then.. the good thing with Government jobs in HK is that even after you've retired, all the benefits is kept for life..
My 6th Uncle on my dad's side works as an Engineer in the Government sector too.. so, he has good benefits and is paid well.. as he often goes on vacation with his wife.. but then, he's also the Uncle who has had multiple marriages.. the youngest on my dad's side..now that my 5th uncle has moved to Canada after retiring, 6th Uncle takes care of Grandma now, she has dementia.. I'm not sure if we'll be seeing her tomorrow, probably won't take her to the funeral.. so, we might have to arrange another time to see her.. although she doesn't recognize anyone now.. but it'll still be good to be able to see her.. Grandma is a strong lady.. I heard she fell and broke her hip a couple of years ago, had surgery, and is still doing fine now.. if it wasn't for her dementia, she wouldn't need to be strapped to a wheelchair and she'd be able to walk on her own with a cane.. we saw there's an empty spot beside Grandpa, so she will probably be reunited with Grandpa when she goes too..
Sorry, I haven't been changing my font colors with the mobile app.. I always get confused how to change the color and have to fiddle with the buttons each time. Too much work.. lolz.
I'm glad you were able to see your Grandma and it's good to hear that your Grandparents are now reunited. 💖 Do you guys put things on the gravestone? In our culture, we have 2 days for celebrating the dead, one is for adults and one is for the babies who have passed. Typically, we make an altar with photos of our family and bring offerings there, usually food or drinks (with kid graves, we bring toys). The belief is that their souls come back that day and they're amongst the living and eat with us. However, not sure if nowadays my family celebrates it. It's strange but they celebrate holidays of another country that has nothing to do with ours nor our culture/history...but they follow it anyways...We did get a bit colonized from that specific country, so I guess it makes sense?...
That's cool that the delicacy that they eat helps with skincare! I try to eat more seafood to help with hair and skin, but where I currently move to, not next to the ocean anymore, so seafood is expensive and I feel it is not as good...I hope that the bottle they brought for your throat helped! I hate having an irritated throat, it bites. Hope the irritation goes away soon! That also bites that there is smoke everywhere where you're currently at...Do you feel that is what maybe irritating your throat further?
Man, sorry you had to deal with an untrustworthy travel agent...that sounds frustrating. I'm glad you guys ended up changing it though to something better. It's unfortunate you have to deal with the hotel in HK though...But at least you guys only have to go back there to sleep pretty much, right? You'll be up-and-down-and-around hanging out with family members, I would imagine -- so you can stay away mostly from the hotel.
Dang, you haven't seen your cousins in about 16-17 years, right? I'm glad you'll be able to see them soon though after the funeral! Since you mentioned taking music lessons from your musically-gifted cousin --do you still play piano? I think you mentioned playing that. Do you have one back at home? I think it's really cool that you play. I have trouble trying to do the melody with one hand and the bass(I guess that's what it would be called? Or I guess sometimes it could just be considered the "harmony") with the other.
Would your relatives who also live in Canada be able to recommend you for a job in Government or be used as a reference? Or could you work remotely for HK but live in Canada? 🤔 Your Grandma certainly sounds strong! Sounded like she bounced back pretty fast after the hip surgery. Bites about the dementia...sorry to hear about that...
No worries about the font colour lol. I change it here and there, and sometimes I don't because I get error messages if I put too much formatting changes on 7cups...
@Jaeteuk
With my grandparents and grandfather on my dad's side, it's just an area where there are walls and walls of plaques. Most of them have a black and white picture, with dates from birth to passing, then it also has their birth city/region. For grandparents, I saw that other people's plaques have little slots beside, where people can put flowers. While many is just a normal plaque. So, it's not like a graveyard, where there's a large tombstone, nor is it like they are kept in a glass cubicle with the ashes. But there are different graveyard hills, depending on price and location.. seeing both Grandparents and Grandfather, they are in different regions.. grandparents are on walls, with shared with probably more than 80 other ones.. while Grandfather's, it almost look like it's within a temple, where there are rooms, with plaques on all 3 sides, that are high-ceiling, from the top to bottom.. there's a table in the middle where it's like the Buddhism form, where people can burn essence and I've seen many other people bring bags of things.. maybe either to burn or whatnot.. but with my family, we just gave our grandparents 3 bows and said a quiet prayer.
My throat gets irritated easily with odors, and specific smells, like people smoking, strong perfumes/colognes, hand creams.. either my throat is irriated and I cough or my nose stings.. it seems to be better now.. I try and hold my breath every time I'm walking past a smoker.
Yes, we just sleep and wash up in the hotel.. as the only place to rest is on the bed, we don't really come back until after dinner.. sometimes we'll return in the afternoon, to change clothes for dinner (if we're meeting with relatives).
Can't wait to return to Japan on the 25th.. 23rd now, then we're going to Tokyo.
Seeing my cousins last night was nice, it ended up with just 8 of us, rather than the 10 my female cousin said.. their spouses didn't come. The meal was shared by my cousins and our female cousin gifted us some expensive Chinese tea leaves and another Chinese herb that is in a large box. My parents opened it up yesterday, thinking why it's so heavy (3.4kg), turns out it's in a glass jar! So, we're all wondering how we could fit it in our luggage. Might have to either buy a new small luggage or have it wrapped and shipped separately for our flights. My cousins have not changed, but they said my brother and I also have not changed either.. my female cousin is 6 years older than my brother and my male cousin is 8 years older than my brother. Male cousin has already bought plane tickets for next summer, and he'll stop by our place with his family before going to the States.. by the sounds of it, his kids wants to study in the States.. as they are will be looking at schools there..
Yes, I still have the same piano as when I was 6 years old.. I had been playing it whenever my brother works in the office and my parents aren't in the house.. picked it up again after Grandma passed.
Well, working in the Hospital now is good enough.. although I'm not permanent staff, but it is still under a Union, it is still decent pay.. especially with my position, it only requires high school graduate and a Certificate from college. Working in the Government will probably require a Bachelor Degree of some sort, which I don't have. It would probably even need more requirements to work in HK.. as all the cousins who once studied in my country that returned to HK have at least one degree, and some had to do more studying back in HK to find a more decent job. Either they are more educated, or they married a wealthy spouse and helped them climb up the ladder quicker.
This afternoon, my parent's friends from Canada that came to HK a month 2 months ago, invited us to join them for lunch. My brother is meeting his elementary school friend on his lunch break.. I will be going with my parents. I know that couple too, the Auntie used to be a Home Ed teacher in HK and Taiwan, so back home, they always invited my parents over for a home-cooked meal. Very nice couple, they don't have children, so they are always free and asking my parents out for meals. Either over to their apartment, or eating out together. Tonight, we're having dinner with my Uncles (dad's side).. Of course, excluding the family members of the one who passed.. I'm not sure if my younger cousin will be coming with his wife or not.. but we saw everyone yesterday at Uncle's funeral ceremony.. but my sixth Uncle and his current wife, left halfway.. they, didn't join us for lunch (eating together is part of the process of sending Uncle off). That uncle left after the cremation ceremony.. claimed that he had to pick up grandma (the one with dementia) and take her back to seniors home or was it pick her up and bring her home with them.. as I think she was be joining us for dinner tonight too..
It's interesting to see how different cultures/religions celebrate the life and passing of loved ones. I've been curious about Buddhism for a while...and have considered going to a temple/monastery to ask questions and check it out. Although I am atheist, I feel that out of all the religions, Buddhism makes the most sense to me...and I heard there is also secular Buddhism? Where they follow the rituals, but not really the spiritual aspect of it. My parents would probably be upset with me for going to temple/monastery instead of a church...but that is not their decision.
Sorry to hear about your throat getting irritated easily, that really bites...Can relate, but with my nose getting messed up often and being hard to breath out of. I hope the next few days are speedy for you and you end up in Tokyo soon at a nice, comfy hotel where you can watch your favourite K-Dramas! That would be nice...
That's cool that you were able to see your cousins again after not seeing them for nearly 17 years PLUS the fact that you still own the piano you've had since 6!! Also, it's neat that they're planning on move to the USA, so then maybe they will be close-ish to you? (Not sure how far the USA place they move to will be to where you are in Canada). Ah, I'm curious if you can carry food with you in plane too(the tea leaves)? As long as you guys get to keep it, that would be awesome! Whether it's through shipping or through an extra carry-on bag.
Oh, I did not know it was like that for government jobs where you live...My mother had no degree nor education, she dropped out of school when she was 11 or 12 years old. However, she worked at a secretary job for the court -- albeit, my uncle (her mother's youngest brother) helped her get the job, because he was a lawyer(now he is a judge and I think retired in his country?). I have other relatives without degrees in government and in dental but...I think maybe they just happened to know the right people, and probably because of the country they live in to be honest...I did not know it was like that in Canada and HK, where a degree is required...
What is your favourite thing about HK so far after being away for so long? What was something you've been wanting to do for so long but couldn't in Canada? (Ex. In my mother's home country I REALLY miss the food there, I miss the flea markets that are cheap and good quality, and I miss how warm strangers were back in the day...country is a bit scary now though...)
@Jaeteuk
Oh yes, when I tried to look for an English Teaching job in South Korea, as one of their work visa requirements, was that I need to have a Degree.. that's one of the reasons why I stopped looking.. then, checking China, I didn't see any specific requirements in regards to education level, hence, I decided to send off that email to the entertainment company with a job offer.
I haven't been checking in much because since we arrived back in Japan, we're making use of our time for shopping. Except I seemed to have caught a cold on Boxing Day. The 28th here now, and I'm resting in the hotel by myself. My family went out, their last day of shopping. My dad bought me 2 of those triangle rice from a convenience store for breakfast. Then, I went down to the hotel's restaurant for lunch at 1pm. It's now 3:30pm.. I'm resting in bed.. I will join them for dinner tonight. Our last dinner in Japan. As we'll be checking out tomorrow and have our flight back home.
The only part I'm not looking forward to, is the long flight, and wearing a mask on the flight.. in case I'll be coughing/sneezing..
I'll update more of my trip when I return home.
Oh yea, I checked my work email today and saw one of my favorite nurses is leaving. Her last day is December 31st. A nurse is organizing a lunch potluck for her, and asking for donations to a gift. I replied back saying that I'd like to contribute to the gift, and if I could e-transfer some money to the nurse that's collecting it. I emailed the nurse that was planning to leave a couple of weeks ago, but never got a reply. So, making a contribution is the best I could do. She was one of the few nurses who'd give us gifts for Christmas.. while all the ither nurses don't really give us, Aides, anything. She was also the one who hand-made head covers for some of the staff.. rather than wearing the Hospital ones, she made her own and gave them to the staff who wants them. I'll miss her for sure. I wonder what made her decide to leave.. a new position elsewhere or moving because her kids going to college.. not sure.. now I'm curious, but don't want to be nosy.
Oh dang...I'm sorry. :( Hopefully you'll be able to work as an English Teacher at some point! (Whether with or without degree -- whichever you prefer!)
No worries, I hope you had a good time shopping! That's nice of your dad to go buy you some onigiri while you're resting up from your cold! You mean this, right?
I haven't had onigiri before, but I have had the Islander style one that's called "musubi":
My ex is an islander, so I have had a fair share of islander food, it's really delicious! What was your favourite thing that you ate (or drank) in Japan so far?
Yeah, curious why your favourite nurse is also leaving...Maybe she deals with similar things as you and decided to leave? Either way, I hope she finds something she enjoys(and same to you if you plan to leave your job soon)!
@Jaeteuk
Our plane landed an hour earlier. We got home by 11am by taxi. We all went for a nap. I just woke up at 4:30pm. Thought I'd go on my computer and pay some bills.. omg, I forgot the log-in password for my computer! Then, when I do the reset of password, it won't let me choose "Agree" on its terms and conditions, like its grayed out. So, when I choose "back" to gets me back to the log-in screen.. I changed my password earlier, and I guess I forgot to write it down.. now, I might need to end up taking it to Apple to fix it..
I just went on the mobile app to pay my credit card bills instead, but not remembering my log-in password and not able to reset it, I'll most likely need to take it down to Apple to have them fix it. Might as well fix the other problem from before too.
My brain is not working yet.. just had to get this computer frustration out. Will reply to the above when my computer is working again.