Stepping Under the Asexual Umbrella for Ace Week
This week we’ve been celebrating Ace Week, trying to raise awareness and educate people about the experiences of people under the “asexual umbrella” including, but certainly not limited to, those who identify as asexual, aromanic, demisexual, and grey-asexual.
[Image depicts the asexual flag]
So first some basic definitions:
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Asexual - a person who does not experience sexual attraction.
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Aromantic - a person who doesn’t experience romantic attraction.
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Demisexual - a person who can only experience sexual attraction after an emotional bond is formed.
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Grey-asexual/Grey-a/Greysexual - a person who identifies in the area between asexuality and sexuality, which may include only experiencing attraction very rarely, in specific circumstances or at such a low intensity it’s almost non-existent.
Attraction is a force that draws people together. Some types of attraction can include aesthetic, romantic, sensual, and sexual.
Aesthetic attraction - attraction based on appearance that is not romantic or sexual.
Romantic attraction - having strong romantic feelings for or wanting to be romantically involved with someone.
Sensual attraction - desire to have non-sexual physical contact with someone else, which can include cuddling, hugging, and kissing that doesn’t lead to sex.
Sexual attraction - desire to have sexual contact or share sexuality with someone else.
[Image consists of a set of ace of hearts cards depicting artistic interpretations of the asexual, aromantic, demisexual and greysexual flags.]
While there can be many myths and misunderstandings about asexuality, here are some basic facts:
Asexuality isn’t broken, it’s not a disorder or an imbalance of hormones, and does not need to be cured, though some ace people may have physical or mental conditions.
Asexuality doesn’t prevent people from experiencing aesthetic, romantic or sensual attraction, though some ace people won’t experience those either.
Asexuality doesn’t mean a person won’t have romantic relationships and/or engage in sexual activity.
Asexuality is not the same as celibacy or abstinence, though some ace people may be celibate or abstinent.
Asexuality is not a fear of sex, though there may be ace people who experience fear or have an aversion to sex and relationships.
And a bonus:
Demisexuality isn’t the same as a person simply choosing to abstain from sexual activity until an emotional bond is established, it’s about attraction not action.
Questions:
Can you think of any other misconceptions about asexuality that need to be addressed? If you are asexual, what is one thing you wish more people understood?
Asexuality is often stigmatized and looked over as an identity, making people who are asexual feel marginalized by both mainstream culture and the LGBT+ community, what can we do to be more inclusive and understanding?
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As we wrap up Ace week, do you have a message you wish you could send to all people who identify under the asexual umbrella?
[Image depicts the asexual flag and pride flag]
https://www.glaad.org/blog/busting-myths-honor-asexual-awareness-week
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@EmotionsListener
As someone who identifies as an asexual, I'm so happy to see this post. Love you for spreading this information.
Asexuality is not a "problem" or a "phase" but a condition, something that one is born with. I am a romantic person, dealing with all aspects of love down to commitment but for me, I have never felt sexually attractive to someone. I do jump the spectrum to feel the desires but its so short-lived, i can yawn it off and let me tell tou, that's not a "problem" with me. I am just this way.
I have seen the males facing this problem more severely and I'm sorry to all my ace fellas. I love ya, mates and you're really great.
@KimByeongIn
I'm glad to have been able to offer up some more information and hopefully increase awareness for all those who find themselves under the asexual umbrella.
As you say, asexuality is not a phase, or some problem a person needs to work through, it is their valid experience and does not deny them an ability to love and have relationships. Though at times it can be important to be sure that if we have relationships with a 'sexual' partner that they understand what asexual really means and don't expect us to grow out of it.
Thank you for sharing some of your experiences with us. I hope others will speak up and join in the conversation as well!
@EmotionsListener
I've been struggling with finding who I am and I recently learned that I identify with gray-romantic! I'm currently figuring out if I'm asexual and I'm glad you are bringing attention to the aro ace community (most people don't know what it is or don't understand it).
Thanks!
@Shadowseeker11
I'm glad that you are finding your own definitions and understanding of yourself. I do think it's important to recognize the various identities under the asexual umbrella, and really normalize understanding how attraction comes in many forms etc.
So thank you for joining in the discussion!
https://www.asexuality.org/
@LonleyCheese
That is one of the sources I sited yes. It can be a great resource.
oops, hah.. my bad but yeah, it is!
@EmotionsListener
Thank you so much for spreading awareness about this oftenly overlooked community! We all appreciate you so much for being an ally! You're so amazing and this information was very good and inclusive. Happy Ace Week!!! 🖤🤍💜
@BlueSkies1021
I'm happy to try to spread and raise awareness and offer up information whenever I can.
As to being an ally, in theory "asexual" was the first label I ever wore probably about 30 years ago now, even if I rapidly hid it away after the response indicating as much gave me. These days I often identify as "lesbian" for simplicity sake but I still hang out under that "asexual umbrella". Personally I've never been fond of saying homoromantic for some reason, and when it comes to "sexual attraction" to me that's between me and my partner not the rest of the world anyway so "lesbian" is a much as they need.
@EmotionsListener
1. Can you think of any other misconceptions about asexuality that need to be addressed? If you are asexual, what is one thing you wish more people understood?
Ace and Aro does not mean 'Not interested in sex/romance'. It means a lack of attraction. I'm fully AroAce, and the way I explain it to people is 'It's like color blindness'. It's not like I'm not interested in color, I just don't see it. In fact, I've never seen it before, and I only hear that others have favorites and feel certain ways about them. I don't want to be cured of it or hate others for seeing something I'm not. It's simply a different experience!
2. Asexuality is often stigmatized and looked over as an identity, making people who are asexual feel marginalized by both mainstream culture and the LGBT+ community, what can we do to be more inclusive and understanding?
Most importantly; Include us! A lot of people think we don't need to be included, because we don't need it or it wouldn't make sense to include us in allo spaces. But we belong! And we want to be a part of things! We're very much queer and handle life in a unique way. We face challenges too, and we often feel very invisible, infantilized, misonderstood and excluded. Don't makes us feel like we're boring or bland. Don't feel sorry for us or be insulted by what we like and don't like. We just want to be a part of things. And trust me, we've got a colorful way to see the world. You just need to show an interest in it!
3. As we wrap up Ace week, do you have a message you wish you could send to all people who identify under the asexual umbrella?
To all my fellow ace- and arospecs: You're awesome, you're interesting and you very much belong! Keep being you and don't change for anyone! 🖤🤍💜
@EmotionsListener I’m aro ace and for the longest time I believed that depression cause a lot of it not all of it but I did believe it until recently 😅
@EmotionsListener as someone who is aromantic and asexual, this post is so refreshing and comforting! however (i could be very wrong, my apologies in advance if that’s the case), i’m quite sure that aromanticism is a whole other spectrum outside of asexuality, since it’s another type of attraction. i’m not saying this to be annoying or to embarass you, but because it’s something that bothered me a bit when i first read your amazing post! thanks once again for providing more people with information on these beautiful identities and for giving us more visibility! :)
@EmotionsListener
i am, as far as i know right now, aromantic but not asexual. it's nice to see aromanticism mentioned in ace week, even if aromanticism and asexuality are separate things. it can feel a little weird being aromantic but not asexual, since sometimes it feels like people expect me to be both, and not just aromantic.
experiencing sexual attraction is still very important to me, and i imagine not experiencing sexual attraction is just as important to people who are aroace.
@EmotionsListener I've always identified as asexual aromantic, though I think I'm somewhere in the spectrum (maybe graysexual, not sure) I'm still learning about myself and I'm glad you've shared this! It's very rare for people to have knowledge about asexuality and I hope they understand it isn't 'easier' than being gay.