Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #9) Passive-Aggressive Communication
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Healthy communication is key!
Questions:
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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The silent treatment, Subtle insult, procrastinating on purpose, sabotage, keeping score. An example of this behavior I have experienced is the silent treatment my sister didn’t like what I had to say so she stopped talking to me until she realized that I was right and she was wrong. Passive aggression is very bad for our community because when we are trying to help members it’s not good to be aggressive with them because they might be hurting enough and if we are passive aggressive with them it just might make it worse for the member.
@glowingSoul93
Agreed Glowing!
I'm sorry to hear that your sister did that to you but Im glad she realized that you were right.
Yeah, passive aggressiveness can unintentionally hurt someone.
@Heather225
The 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication are:
- The silent treatment
- Subtle insults
- Procrastinating on Purpose
- Sabotage
- Keeping Score -- To be honest, I’m guilty of number one. I suppose it can be considered a defense mechanism when I’m in a situation that I do not like. Also I tend to use it to show the other part that I don’t need them, it’s like a ‘you need me more than I need you’ type of situation. --- Passive aggression is so damaging to our community because it can destroy trust and dependability that has been built within the community.
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1. The silent treatment
2. Subtle insults
3. Procrastinating on Purpose
4. Sabotage (deliberately messing something up)
5. Keeping Score (People who keep track of favors)
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I have experience with the silent treatment. It’s definitely not a positive experience. I have been on the receiving and giving end of this type of behavior. Sometimes, I can tend to shut down in a situation and give the silent treatment. However, I am learning that life is too short to be spent not talking things out, especially with those that I care about.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
It can isolate the community and cause people to feel lost and not really have a sense of guidance. With passive aggression, problems will not get solved.
@magicmango26
Yeah, would you believe the silent treatment can be the main cause of relationships not working out because people have let their emotions get the better of them
@magicmango26 beautifully said. I am sorry you had to go through that.
Questions:
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
Answer: 1) The silent treatment 2) Subtle Insults 3) Procrastinating on purpose 4) Sabotage 5) Scorekeeping
What is one example of passive-aggressive behaviour you have experienced in your life?
Answer: I have most of my life experienced passive-aggressive behaviour which was very damaging to me and is still damaging me. Whenever I have a fight with my parents and elder sisters, they stop talking to me. I have seen this since my childhood and now I do the same. Whenever I get into a conflict with someone, I give them silent treatment.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Answer: Passive aggression is damaging to our community because by using it we subtly insult someone and sabotage their work. Procrastination on purpose can hurt someone's self-respect because asking, again and again, makes them feel disrespected. Passive aggression makes them doubt themselves without any reason.
I totally understand how you feel and I am so sorry to hear that it is still damaging you. There is hope and I am rooting for you! ❤️
@Zarram77 that's a great point about insulting someone else's work
@Zarram77
Yes, I can relate, the silent treatment - so childish, but yet we still do it even in adulthood
@Zarram77I am so sorry you have to go through that. I can understand how that feels. I wish you ease through it all. Stay strong and if you need anyone to talk to, i am here.
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1) Silent Treatment 2) Subtle Insult 3) Procrastinating on-purpose 4) Sabotage 5) Keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Unfortunately yes I have experienced passive-aggressive behavior. I had a friend who would sabotage... I feel like sometimes people get jealous of others. I agree with being jealous can be both positive and negative. It is kind of positive because it helps the person to be motivated and improve themselves so they can get better. It is negative tho because many people instead of trying to improve and get better, they usually sabotage others' work and bring them down instead of raising themselves up. I am sad that some of my 'friends' do that to me. I have tried to help them and show them that they can always ask me for help, but sometimes peoples' hearts are so full of jealousy.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Our Community is supposed to be a friendly and supportive environment for everyone! Imagine if someone joins a new community and see people sabotaging and being rude to each other. I don't think they would like to be part of that community at all. We need to make sure that all members and listeners feel equal and are supported.
@Heather225
The silent treatment, Subtle insults, Procrastinating on Purpose, Sabotage, keeping Score (People who keep track of favors)
What is one example of passive-aggressive behaviour you have experienced in your life?
I have experienced someone giving me silent treatment and keeping scores
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
It can be damaging to the community because it
can people doing it and the people facing it.
@incrediblelistener78 yep silent treatment here too haha
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
- The silent treatment
- Subtle insults
- Procrastinating on purpose
- Sabotage
- Keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Definitely silent treatment. I think this is something that everyone has been through at some point.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
It doesn't offer any type of solution. There's absolutely zero understanding, and only serves to be negative. Our community needs conflict resolution, not rivalry.
@Heather225
The 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication are
1) Silent Treatment
2) Subtle Insults
3) Procrastinating on Purpose
4) Sabotage
5) Keeping Score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Currently, I am experiencing this on LinkedIn, it is the Procrastinating on Purpose. Ask once, they will say let me look at your resume or sometimes no response, ask the second time, yeah, I will get back to you, just busy, but you can see when they are active on LinkedIn. There is no third time, because I have come to realize these people don’t really care and are probably not interested in helping me. You know there is a saying read between the lines. I get turned off with these things, its annoying but its part of life, unfortunately
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Passive Aggression is damaging the community because it leads to mistrust in people. It’s a mind game which is not nice and you will see it especially in profession, where people find it hard to help someone
@KBeauty12
I am sorry for your linkedin situation, I hope that you found a way to get what you wanted done accomplished anyways (:
@KBeauty12
That is a great point that you mention about leading to mistrust. This video really made me aware of all the problems that are created by passive-aggressive behavior.
@KBeauty12
Procrastinating on purpose in a professional environment very frustrating especially when communication is so crucial there, and you are left to figure it out on your own which can be really confusing to some. I'm sorry you experienced that :/
And I 1000% agree with you on mind games that's one of their tactic to have their way with people.
Thank you for sharing it with us ❤
@KBeauty12
I wish people could be more honest on platforms like LinkedIn, they want to reject you in such a way where they won't feel bad about it. Which in turn makes rejection feel even more taboo, when it should be a normal part of life that we can deal with and move on from...
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
Silent treatment
Subtle insults
Procrastinating on purpose
Keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I had a lecturer once that was super passive aggressive, i don't even know why. she didn't really get into the five signs like above, i just got the general impression that she was really highkey lowkey snide.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
It's counterproductive and hurtful. It isn't solution oriented and only aggravates the situation by fostering a bad atmosphere.
@Elise849
A bad atmosphere is just that! Agreed Elise.
@Elise849
That is true. It is not solution orientated. It just makes problems grow.
@Elise849
Sometimes people aren't clear with their passive aggression traits , but I get what you are saying, you can just feel it from their negative vibe as it feels like something is off.
Thanks for sharing it with us, Elise ❤
@Elise849
I love the use of the words solution oriented here, because passive aggression really isn't focused on trying to collaborate and getting to a solution together at all. Instead, its goal is usually to express frustration or annoyance.
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
Silent Treatment.
Subtle insults.
Procrastinating on purpose.
Sabotage.
Keeping score.
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Sabotage, When giving someone a "bullet" Per say in this metaphor. You must be careful. That someone can load it into the magazine and shoot it at you, or they could disarm the bullet and not use it against you, or even possibly use it to help you, shooting a problem in your life. So that being said, I've given many people bullets in my life. And those bullets ended up harming me more than helping. So I would consider that sabotage, and passive aggressive is a way that certain people do such things. The basis is, if you tell someone something that bothers you, and they do it intentionally, playing the "innocent card", that's a form of passive aggressive behavior. I've experienced this more than a few times.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
I'ts a negativity, that breeds more negativity, and we can all be honest here that negativity is never a good thing.
It's non communicative and doesn't offer feedback, to improve and learn.
"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." MLK.
Yes you are right. I did not think about the negativity aspect of this.
Thank you for explaining the sabotage behaviour with that metaphor! I understand it now! I'm sorry to hear that some people shoot a "bullet" to your problems. It sounds like playing the victim.