Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #9) Passive-Aggressive Communication
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Healthy communication is key!
Questions:
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
- The silent treatment
- keeping score
- sabotage
- subtle insults
- procrastinating on purpose
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
The Silent treatment
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Passive-aggressive behavior is damaging to the community because it gives the receiver mixed signals. Actions of passive-aggressive behavior lessen both well-being and confidence.
@StarrrGirl20
Well said đź‘Ť
@StarrrGirl20 I truly agree on the last part, well said
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
-Deny being unhappy about something.
-Using sarcasm to make a point
-Plotting revenge
-Intentionally hurting others
- Silent treatment
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I've experienced the silent treatment and people using sarcasm to make a point.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
It ruins relationships, hinders good communication, and shows an unhealthy way of dealing with misunderstandings.
@Helpingheart23
I 100% agree that passive aggression is an unhealthy way of managing communication, good job summarizing the first question as well 👏🏽
@Helpingheart23
people who use sarcasm is a good point of example that people can use when they’re using passive aggression on others. In which case sounds like one of the signs, subtle insult where someone makes a remark that the other people won’t easily understand but feel confused and bad about it.
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1. The silent treatment
2.Subtle insults
3. Procrastinating on purpose
4. Sabotage
5. Keeping score.
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
The silent treatment
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
because it can lead to more conflict but also to intimacy issues.
@niceworldmnd lovely answer
@niceworldmnd
I enjoyed your responses, it was interesting that you pointed out how passive aggression leads to intimacy issues as well. This definitely causes a toxic environment
@niceworldmnd
great understanding, and good connection - true it can also lead to intimacy issues
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1. The silent treatment
2. Subtle insults
3. Procrastinating on Purpose
4. Sabotage
5. Keeping Score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I was given the silent treatment growing up, over little things. It left me feeling confused, not knowing what I did wrong, or what I need to change or improve.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
It stops us from communicating properly. It makes and creates a toxic environment which is unable to improve or develop.
@Here4good74
Great job answering this question, especially sharing the personal effects of the silent treatment. It's unfair when we're left unsure how to improve if anything. I also like your focus on the impact of passive aggression on a community's development
@Here4good74
it does feel bad to be left confused and wondering what went wrong especially if it’s something you want to fix with the person but the person chooses not share that with you. Rock environment I’d a good term of what it could be if passive aggressiveness takes over.
@Here4good74 I agree Jane. We cannot communicate properly after a silent treatment, and we are left confused about the whole situation. Thank you for sharing with us
@Heather225
Questions:
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
- 1) The silent treatment 2) subtle insults 3) procrastinating on purpose 4) sabotage 5) keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
- One example of passive-aggressive behavior I've experienced in my life is procrastination on purpose. I was lucky enough to still make it through all obstacles thrown my way to succeed.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
- Passive aggression is damaging to our community because it causes many miscommunications and tension among the community; Making it an overall unpleasant environment.
@SirenOfSerenity
i can sadly relate with the procrastination part as that’s what I’ve done before too but usually not on purpose it’s been mostly out of fear that what I will do won’t be good enough for people. And having miscommunication online makes things much messier than if in person.
@SirenOfSerenity
You a have a good way to put your ideas on to paper in this course. I really like reading your repelys to the questions.
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1- the silent treatment someone who stops responding or speaking to you
2- subtle insults responded that confuse people that aren’t easily understood but nonetheless undermine someone
3- procrastinating on purpose when someone agrees to do something but lingers on actually doing that favor
4- sabotage someone who deliberately mess things up for another person
5- keeping score people who keep track of all the favors they do for you and saying that they owe them something in return
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
An example of passive-aggressive behavior I have experienced in my life is when someone gave me the silent treatment because after an issue they had they would choose to not talk anymore.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Its damaging to our community because when people inflict pain and anger to one another it gets us unmotivated to commit to making it better and there’ll be more and more misunderstandings that won’t make it comfortable to approach someone there and eventually also lose trust in people there when they can’t get the help if the passive aggression isn’t resolved.
@Mari228 Silent treatment is something we all have experienced. I do agree that we might loose trust from each other and also have a negative impact on them as well as us. Thank you for sharing
@Mari228 as someone with anxiety, silent treatment is the worst thing one can ever do to me :'( I'm sorry it happened to you, too :(
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
- The Silent Treatment
- Subtle insults
- Procrastinating on purpose
- Sabotage
- Keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I've experienced all of them from various people in my life. One particular example would be the silent treatment which my mother uses every time she gets angry or upset.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Passive aggressive behavior leads to confusion and is usually used to walk all over other people which creates disharmony and disagreement, thus collapsing the very foundation of the community.
@KimByeongIn seems like our mothers are alike. And I am sorry you had them happened to you. We surely had something to learn from the video
@yourbuddy30
We're here for each other ❤️
@KimByeongIn
i agree with what you said here.
@Heather225 What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
The silent treatment, subtle insults, procrastinating on purpose, sabotage, keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
The silent treatment is something we all must have experienced. My mom believes in silent treatment. Whenever we have an argument, she goes into the silent treatment and I or my dad have to figure out the reason. As a person even I would adopt the silent treatment as I am not very expressive with my thoughts in person
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Any one of the above can be damaging to our community and also our relationships with people. I do think that people talking it out can solve things. The more we ignore, sabotage, keep in mind and try to settle scores, insulting, the more the problem increases, and it is hurtful to the opposite person. By talking and expressing ourselves we can solve the problem. I believe that the above can be damaging here or outside cups and it is something we should encourage
@yourbuddy30
i think it can bring down a community and brings down the reputation of the whole community.
@yourbuddy30 I'm sorry you've experienced the silent treatment :( I myself have been in that situation many times with different people in my life :( hugs!
@Heather225
This video hit my emotions hard, I actually realise I have been passive-aggressive at times and also a lot of the world is and has been passive-aggressive from being a young child to now and even today.
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1) The silent treatment
2) Subtle Insults
3) Procrastinating on purpose
4) Sabotage
5) Keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behaviour you have experienced in your life?
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
My marriage was the main example I will use, I was domestically abused by my (ex) wife (separated; still married).
She always told me how useless and hopeless I am, how thick (stupid) I am and how nobody will ever be interested me and I'm lucky I have her.
In hindsight, she always asked me to do things, I did them regardless, always asked me to deal with situations and fill in forms, she abused me in many ways, I am very soft natured, I'd rather do things to prevent an argument, Due to this, I was also very sexually incapable, I still am in a way.
What are you talking about care? what is your point?
She always told me I'm useless and hopeless and thick - But if that was the case, why keep asking me to do things? if I did forget (and I have a terrible memory), I didn't do it to be passive-aggressive, I literally just forgot because my mind is overloaded of "things to do".
Nobody will ever be interested in me? - Maybe not, and still nobody shows me that, I have no friends as such, but I'm good with that, I'll wait until someone who likes me for me comes along, I don't want friends who will cancel our plans because something better came up or never agrees to spend time with me, even in 2022 and the days of technology, no technology replaces the space of actually seeing someone in the physical - another reason I feel distant from the world around me.
Sexually incapable - I have suffered much sexual abuse from being a child up to being an adult, I have been raped and myself and my wife have kids together - but in the underlying deep down details, I related sex to abuse, so I never had the emotion to it, I still don't, so when we had sex, it was purposely because I wanted children, and that is the only time we had intercourse - I never told her this because she was abusive in a verbal, physical, mental and emotional way, and I know she would of added it to the list of insults to throw at me, most of my sexual abuses were by men so I have a very negative of men in general, I loved her more than anything, but I never got the emotional connection I needed during sex, and during the marriage, she constantly (daily) said to me that sex is an important part of marriage - Not to me it isn't, love, affection and understanding is however.
That relationship was toxic however and had to end, and it has, and honestly, I don't care if I never have sex again.
I would like help with this, but whenever I have seeked help by professionals, which is tough as it is to even say it, the 2 professionals I have told dismissed me and offered pills, I don't want pills, I want support for the underlying issues.
@Heather225
Sorry, I failed to answer question 3
As I stated above, 7 cups is literally the only place I feel I can say all out loud without feeling victimised and not heard and apart from the couple of professionals, have never told anyone.
In the same way it affected me, it can affect the community, but it spreads quickly and badly, in a similar way to gossiping and triangulation.
Avoid passive-aggressive behaviour, lead by example.
My ex was very good at being the number 1 wife in public and horrible at home once the doors were closed, we went to church more than once a week, I got my faith through her, and I follow my own route, so I know one day she will pay the price of her actions.
She is now in another relationship, and I do hope that she shows him similar behaviour so that my accounts of the situation shows as absolutely right, rather than the numerous lies she has told her family and friends, I dismiss them if they contact me, because I know the truth about her ways, but I hope she realises her behaviour and seeks support and recovers so she can live a happier life.
I'm used to being treated that way, I almost expect it and anyone who is nice is a fake and liar (that's my thought process), one day, the light will shine.
@iCareUK
it's great that 7 cups makes you feel safe! sorry for that experience - definitely shows how damaging passive aggressiveness is