Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #8) When you don't get the role you want
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Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!
Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.
Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:
- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!
- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!
- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings
- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!
- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!
- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!
- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!
*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
"Sorry to hear that I cannot get the role yet. Please, could you say how would I improve it, what is better to do? Thank you for any possible advices. I will take them into account."
@windSpirit
I liked how you phrased your response for the leader. Looking for an opportunity to improve is always great ! ❤
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would respond by being firstly disappointed and maybe upset depending on how much o wanted to get the role. Then I would ask for feedback and then thank them for that, so I can see what to improve on and what to do better on if I decide to reapply in the future.
@kieran000
I appreciate your honesty!
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would give a neutral response, and thank the leader for informing me. I would take some time to rationalize the situation in case I feel a bit down and reach out to the leader/my mentor regarding ways to contribute and positions open for application.
@gigantCloud92
Giving yourself time and space to rationalize the situation and then seeking for mentor and leader feedback and support are amazing tools to deal with the rejection .❤
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
If I find out I've not been given a role I wanted and applied for , I'd feel disappointed and discouraged ofcourse, as it also takes so much thinking to find a role you want and apply for it with the intention of committing to it .
After giving some space to accept the news, I'd use it as a motivation to do better and , probably reach out to a mentor or the leader in charge of the role ,asking for feedback and how can I improve .
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Being in the place of someone who has to give feedback to others , I can imagine how hard it would be for the feedback giver too, to try and frame the information as polite as possible . So it is definitely important to not express our discouragement to them, as they are only here to bring the news and help us be better , also to keep in mind that there's certainly a second chance and I can apply again And at the end of the day, both of us are wanting to work for the betterment of the community .
I would say something like,
"Thankyou so much for informing me , I do really appreciate your time and efforts for reaching to me . I am glad you've offered me good feedback and tips on how to improve my application for the next time . I will certainly take these into consideration and apply again, when I feel ready ."
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Hello hello Suniss! I really like how you elaborated on how we need to keep in mind not to express our discouragement to the feedback giver since they're only helping us to improve! We must always remember to try not to take it personally! 100% agree! 
@Cristen
Your responses make my day, thanks Crisss . So glad you feel the same ! 🤗❤
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Aw thank you! I enjoy reading your answers too hehe
ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ bear hug for you suniss!!!
@Cristen
Awwieee , that's super cuteee, bear hugs for youu tooo Crissiee🤗❤
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
I think what you might say to the mentor sounds polite, warm and overall very lovely. I would learn from you! <3
@Bu123
Aw thanks sweet Bu, I am glad you feel my response was overall lovely and polite and that you'd learn something. Best wishes to you ❤
@Heather225 If I found out I was not given a role, I should always remain professional, respectful, and understanding. I would thank the leader who informed me and kindly ask for feedback on how I could improve or be a better fit for the role.
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I would be sad, however, I would be excited to improve and happy to work on things that need improving to become a better me!
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would say “Thank you for informing me” and probably ask ways that I could improve my skills
@Heather225
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would feel sad and that i can do better. I would say " Thank you for informing me, I was wondering what I could do better next time, Thank you for your time!"
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
Done Done Done!
@AdylynS great answer!
I would be sad but i would quickly try to think about how i can solve it. I would thank the leader for their time
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I should know that roles don't mean anything and that I'm much more than a badge, however, I would be motivated to try again.
I would ask the leader to provide me some feedback for sure!
@Heather225
In case I didn't get a role I wanted, I would be down but at the same time remember that it is an incentive to get better with my listening skills and response and that I should understand the role I am applying for better. I would also see if the role is fit for me, and work on my flaws.
I would thank the leader for informing me about the result and ask them in what other ways I can contribute and also ask them about any confusions I have.
@marvelloustree1111
You're absolutely right! Even if we're not fit for the role, we can always ask about how we can contribute in other ways too!