Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #8) When you don't get the role you want
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Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!
Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.
Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:
- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!
- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!
- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings
- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!
- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!
- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!
- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!
*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
If you weren't given the role you want, there must've been a reason as to why. I would ask the leader for some feedback on how I can improve, and if there are still any available spots on the team/role. Asking for feedback is so important! I absolutely believe that I have learned so much by just talking to listeners on the site and asking for feedback when it comes to the things I do on the site.
@smolecho
I agree, and while there are "reasons".....maybe these reasons are not facts (they are a singular person's opinion), and so it's best to find someone else who is willing to teach new things and give you a "reason" to learn more. :)
In due time, the "reason" for leaving turns out for the better.
@smolecho
I agree with you. Feedback helps.
@Heather225
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
If I found out about something like this, I would respond with sadness but try to move on with the learning opportunity because there are many more opportunities across different modalities and industries. Sometimes, in the working world, the competitor or another company sees more value in you than your original employer did not see. Plus, it could yield a domino effect towards something greater than what was originally anticipated.
To a leader, I would not say much and thank them for their time. I would remain polite and appreciate the learning opportunity.
@SynSavory
I like what you said about thanking the leader. Even though we may be upset, showing appreciation and gratitude is still valuable.
@IvyL It is probably one of the hardest parts of my role when I have to pass on that an applicant hasn't been successful. But I do feel that it is good to know rather than not be told and be left wondering.
Listening - One Step At A Time!
@MistyMagic
I was just mentioned this in my answer and now I saw it in your comment xD
Very wise Misty, a NO is so much better than nothing (●'◡'●) Thank you for being compassionate 💖
@ouiCherie Hey! Of course the 'no' is in a message that gives feedback and areas that can be worked on, it could be a simple thing like needing more 1-1 chats or it could be something else. I like to think that I can help the applicant rather than the opposite. It is a hard task for sure! 
@SynSavory Thanking the leader is such a great point, I completely agree :)
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Rejection, whether it be for a role on 7 Cups or some other application in real life, is not easy. On 7 Cups, I have been told 'no' when it comes to a role before and it definitely hurts. However, I would ask the leader where I am falling short as a member of a community or what areas I could improve in, and try to formulate a plan to address the shortcomings. I would also take some time from myself away from the site to self-care, and remind myself that the rejection is not an a statement of my character or worth as a person on the whole.
@IvyL
Rejection definitely sucks. You are passionate about wanting to improve to be able to get roles. Don't give up!
@IvyL "the rejection is not an a statement of my character or worth as a person on the whole" Well said! 
@VioletVenom
awesome steps and great ideas!
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would be disappointed but I would jump right into getting feedback to get a better understanding of what I need to improve on so that I can take the time to work on it and hope for the best the next time I apply. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.
@shiningDay80 "I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason." I like that--one way I could imagine that happening is if it just wasn't the right time to be put into the role, but getting rejected motivated improvements that resulted in being able to get the role in the future (or those improvements just have intrinsic value regardless of the role).
@shiningDay80
I am a firm believer of that too. And aw it's nice to know your response.
Well done 👍🏻
@Heather225
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would ask for feedback, and ask if there were any areas I needed to work on, was it behaviour reports that prevented me getting the role, was there anything I could do about that, When might I re-apply.
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
Listening - One Step At A Time!
@Heather225 I think this is a very important topic and I hope that everyone, not just those on the LDP could read it.
Listening - One Step At A Time!
@MistyMagic I totally agree! This topic is important and practical. <3
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I should thank them for informing me, taking the time out in reviewing my application, and providing the necessary feedback.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
- Thank you for taking the time out in informing me. I really appreciate it. I'll work on the feedback you have provided and get back to you if I have any doubts.
@VerseArt I like your kindness/consideration for the person reviewing and providing the feedback. 
@VerseArt That's a very nice and humble approach to them. Thanks for sharing ~
@VerseArt
Get clarity and thanking them later for giving time to review and giving you feedback. That good approach VerseArt.
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
"That is completely okay--thanks for letting me know. I understand that you want to pick the people that will do best in the role."
[If leader hasn't yet shared reason for rejection] "If you're able to share, I'd be curious to know what I was lacking in so that I can work on that before applying again (or consider something else if I'm just not a good fit)."
[If leader has shared reason for rejection] Thank them for the information and then think on my own about whether I'm interested/able to work on those things and re-apply or if I want to direct my energy to something else that would be a better fit.
[If I were really upset] Hold off on sharing these feelings with the leader who informed me. Either process these feelings on my own, take a self-care break, or reach out to a mentor/peer supporter to discuss my feelings and possible next steps.
@QuietMagic
Hey hugs 🤗🤗. You are really a strong person.
@Petrichor2000 Aw, thank you! Returning your hugs.
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I will be a little sad but that's okay probably I am not ready for it. I will thank the leader for informing me and ask them feedbacks about how to get better.
@Petrichor2000 You may not be ready for it. You may also just not be "needed" at that time! Sometimes, a role just doesn't need more workers. <3
@JaimieF
Yup. It slipped my mind. Thanks for reminding
@JaimieF
Thats a great point, certain roles have many people in the team already and that could be a reason why one does not get the role they applied for. I never thought of it that way.
@Petrichor2000
yes it natural reaction of feeling sad. You had good way to mange it well by thanking and asking more information.
@Heather225
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
🌸 I would thank the leader for reaching out and letting me know, I would ask for feedback and areas I could improve on, ask about when I could reapply again and things to keep in mind the next time I apply
@ahealingEndoftherainbow22 Woo! Asking for feedback is a great and brave move. :)
@ahealingEndoftherainbow22
Asking for feedback would be nice way to improve upon and maybe to apply and gain the role later on