Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #8) When you don't get the role you want
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Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!
Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.
Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:
- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!
- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!
- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings
- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!
- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!
- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!
- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!
*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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@Heather225
i would be dissapointed ofcourse but i would try not to take it personally. i would remind myself its not the end of the world and that i can always apply again in the future.
its nobody's fault if one doesnt get the role they wanted so i would not take it out on the person who delivered the message. i would thank them and tell them i look foward to working with them in the future if possible.
You have such a great, positive outlook! ❤️@wanjiku
If you find out you were not given a role:
How should you respond?
I would probably take some time to process the news, so I don’t speak out of emotions from being upset. I would the remain calm and respectful and ask the leader if the could provide feedback of why I was not given the role. I would analyze what I could do differently or improve on in the future and later re-apply for the role again if I wanted to.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would thank them, I’m sure it is not an easy thing to do - to tell some one they did not get the role. I would let them know I appreciate them, thank them for the feedback and let them know I understand.
@blitheEmbrace27 nice work! :)
I really likes How you. Said it. @blitheEmbrace27
@blitheEmbrace27
Really nice thoughts!
@blitheEmbrace27 Sometimes we can let our emotions take control and we say things we don't mean to. I think it is great that you would take some time to process those feelings to ensure you will reply kindly and calm.
@Heather225
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I shouldnt be upset or withdrawn and should see this positively; afterall, opportunities and disguised as challenges. I would like to know where i went wrong and how can i improve my performance. I would be thankful to the leader for informing me as it is also a difficult position to let someone know they do not fit. However, 7cups is all about growing and finding a role that fits best.
@Dazzle28purvi
I really like the idea that opportunities are disguised as challenges sometimes, that's a very nice idea! <3
@Dazzle28purvi
Loved your positive outlook.
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
Understand that there are things you need to improve before getting the role and accepting the idea of getting better; focusing on self-care and figuring out ways in which you can get even better! And of course, never give up!
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would thank them for informing me and I would ask for advice and feedback on what could I do to improve and get better, in order to ensure my own growth and development!
@Ines1229
I like that you would ask for feedback and ways to improve. Also, not giving up, that right now is not the time, but to work on improving and trying again :-)
@Ines1229
I love that you point out self-care as well, it might really be disheartening to get rejected after pouring your heart and soul into the application. But having self-care at this time is really important and it allows for more growth and development in the future :)
@Heather225
1. If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I will delay the feeling part for later, and make use of the short and useful time of the leader to collect all possible information and feedback from him so I can work on myself and improve for next time.
2. What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to apply for this role. I realize that there are some areas that I need to work in. I will gladly take your feedback into consideration and re-apply for the role when I have improved on the areas that need the necessary work and feel ready.
@Anexmos
I like your response to the leader, it is positive. :-)
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I would kind of feel bad, will ask them where I went wrong & when I can apply next.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
- Thank you for taking the time out in informing me. I'll work on the feedback you have provided and apply for the role when available.
@She13
I agree, I think I would feel hurt, nothing we can do about the feelings, but our reaction. I agree with responding positively to the leader instead of lashing out. :-)
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
My response should not be of discouragement and I should read the reasons why and how I can improve and apply in the future. Feelings are feelings, and they come up so I think reaching out my listener to talk about my feelings and such would also be good.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I should thank the leader for considering me and providing me feedback on ways I can improve.
@Containedchaos
Great response! I particularly liked that you acknowledged the fact that feelings just come sometimes and it's okay to feel them and talk about them, it's not something to be ashamed about. Wishing you all the best <3
1 I think step back for bit with self care and talking to ps about it. I think I would spend the rest of the day doing self like books , music , wali or films. When I am ready ask for feedback so could get role next time.
2 thanks take time took look at my form. Can I have some feedback on how I could do better next time so I can get the role? How long. Do I have to wait before I can try to apply again ?
@Colorfulcatsofhope
Sounds like a great way to approach the situation! And I really like the questions you've given as examples, they sound like great things to ask if one was to be in this situation <3
@Heather225
You should respond with calmness as much as you're able and an understanding that this doesn't mean you aren't a good or intelligent or kind person, just that you might not be ready for the role at the moment. I would definitely be upset, but I hope that I would be able to thank the leader who informed me graciously and calmly ask what I could do better that would give me the skills necessary for roles like the one I had been rejected from.
@GlitteringNights
I would do the same, thanks a lot for sharing your response with us.
Wish you a great day & a great year ahead. 
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I would be upset about it for sure but I would understand that I need to improve myself for that specific role & would move ahead with it. I wouldn't hold grudges over it as I feel that it is a petty thing to do that. We need not take these things personally because after all those leaders who reject us are only working towards the betterment of 7 Cups of Tea.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would like to thank them to inform me about the result of my application & would ask them for ways to improve my skills so that I could apply again in the future when I am ready. Also, I would ask them to inform me about it with all the possible related details.
Talking about my personal experience, unfortunately, has been highly exhausting. I applied for 4-5 leadership roles in the month of May or June (out of my interest in few of them & also because it was a requirement for LDP) & was looking forward to hearing about my application but I didn't hear back from any of them. If I am rejected no problem at all, I would start working on it to be eligible for that particular role but no reply at all about our application hurts.This also led to a burn-out for me as a result I took self-care break. My aim here is not to defame anyone but to appeal through this post that kindly get back to people who have applied - even if they are not suitable for that role. At least let them know about their application otherwise they might feel unheard & unimportant like how I felt. This is not the first time but this has happened with me in the past as well. I understand that people are busy but in this era when it is super easy to get back to someone through a text message that takes less than a second to get delivered, someone had to wait for 8 months to be heard? Isn't 8 months more than enough time for people to get back to someone?
Lastly, I would like to thank you for this post as I could raise my voice about something that has been bothering me. I am tired of contacting & writing people long messages about it with no solution. As I am unaware whom to contact any further & the post was so relatable, I had to bring this up here.