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Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #5) Approaching Conflict Resolution: Dealing with Issues Directly

Heather225 August 7th, 2020

Please note: In order to successfully complete Course 2, you must respond to this post. Your comment/response should answer the questions/shows that you completed the given activity (if any). Read the post carefully and follow the instructions given. Save your responses to a document that you can later refer to. You will need to copy/paste your response in the course evaluation form at the end of each course to show that you have done the work and to refresh your memory.
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Any  community is going to go through challenges and sometimes people are going to be in conflict with one another or have disagreements. All of that is okay and should be welcomed and even expected. The trick is to figure out what is the best way to address these issues so that we can continue to grow individually and as a community. Most ethical codes for professions recommend approaching the person that you have an issue with to try to resolve it with them first. If you feel safe and comfortable, then that is the best way to go. Here are some other helpful guidelines for conflict resolution brought to you by @Tazzie (original post)!

â  Step back and slow down
â  Avoid repeating unhelpful behaviors in conflicts.
â  Habits can be changed through awareness.
â  Think before you put your words across in order to avoid something that will escalate the conflict.

â  Show clarity regarding your intentions and goals for the conversation
â  Avoid blaming or changing another person's point of view.
â  Listen to learn something new and express your views and feelings professionally.

â  Avoid assumptions and ask questions to explore the other persons story
â  Listen to the person on the opposite end as they will more likely try to understand you.
â  Do not convince them you are right.
â  Be aware of potential barriers to listening.

â  Express your feelings without holding the other person accountable for the conflict
â  Use I statements to express yourself.
â  State a feeling rather than judging.

â  Be responsible for your assumptions
â  On the internet, messages can be interpreted in several ways. To think that your beliefs and conclusions about  others are the truth, will only escalate the conflict.
â  Share your interpretation of the messages received.

â  Find a common ground
â Reaching a common ground will make it easier to resolve the conflict and will diffuse defensiveness.

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Question time!

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

After fulfilling the requirements of this post, please check out the next post here! You must take part in the brainstorming/activities given in all of these posts to successfully complete the program.


This post is brought to you by the Leadership Development Program Team, find out more information about the program here.

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Grace8402 August 7th, 2020

@Heather225

1. Yes, I often found myself in such situations while I was studying in a boarding school. And I think trying to understand the other person's intentions and perspective can always help deescalate a situation.

2. Trying to find the point of the conflict could be of help because sometimes we tend to get into a dispute for things that don't matter. So, taking a step back and seeing if it is even worth it could be used as a tool

Thank you and looking forward to the next discussion! 😄

1 reply
shiningSound31 September 14th, 2020

@Grace8402

I really like your tips, Grace! Thanks for sharing that! I wish you the best in your journey ahead!

2 replies
Grace8402 September 21st, 2020

@shiningSound31

Thank you so much!! I wish you the same! 😄

1 reply
shiningSound31 September 21st, 2020

@Grace8402

heartsmileyheart

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Liru0417 September 19th, 2020

@Grace8402

I agree that finding the root cause of the problem really helps in resolving the conflict! Great insights, Grace!

1 reply
Grace8402 September 21st, 2020

@Liru0417

Thank you so much, Liru! Have a great day! 😄

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peacefulWarrior10 October 3rd, 2020

@Grace8402

Must have been difficult to stay in boarding school. I can imagine random conflicts occurring. And your approach of resolving it shows you're a calm and thoughtful person!

1 reply
Grace8402 October 5th, 2020

@peacefulWarrior10

Yepp! It was difficult initially but as kids, we didn't take ourselves too seriously and that's helped me a lot! Thank you for your reply!

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MyNameIsNicole January 3rd, 2021

@Grace8402

That honestly makes so much sense.

1 reply
Grace8402 January 26th, 2021

@MyNameIsNicole

Nicole!! 🥰

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goldenFriend9335 February 3rd, 2021

@Grace8402

brilliant job, I found this supper helpful

Readylistener April 15th, 2021

@Grace8402

Readylistener April 15th, 2021

@Grace8402 I loved the tip!

TheGoodHeartedBuddy September 20th, 2021

@Grace8402

It's awesome how organized you are! :)


PhoenixTears5972 June 21st, 2022

@Grace8402

Thats a beautiful answer !

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Tyedyedbutterfly65 August 7th, 2020

@Heather225smiley

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

Yes of course all through life and working in Health care and also On Mental Health sites as Mod . You listen to what happened and work with the ones involved and be equally open minded and work with them to resolve what happened and how to move on. I believe everything can be worked on and worked out if people are willing to take accountability .

2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

Allow each person to speak . Stay Nuetral, Do not take sides, Do not Validate inappropriate behavior or pacify either one but empathize and explain that you here as a mediator wanting to help work through what went on. Do not become a Enabler of continued behaviors when someone is not willing to work on their issue nor taking accountability.

Just my thought and what I have dealt with.. We need to be accountable for our actions and our words and we can all fall short and not always believe we did or said anything wrong.. we can hurt others untentionally or feel peer pressured .

1 reply
shiningDay80 September 1st, 2020

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

I Totally agree with holding both parties accountable for their behaviors and not enabling them to continue those behaviors. One day, they will have to learn how to communicate effectively.

SynSavory September 2nd, 2020

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

Accountability is important across both sides. I agree.

1 reply
Tyedyedbutterfly65 January 17th, 2021

@SynSavory Thanks and yes ! smiley

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shiningSound31 September 14th, 2020

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

Very thoughtful answers. I really loved your tips. Your answers express the rich experience you have in these issues. I hope to learn from you. I wish you the best in your journey ahead, Tye!

1 reply
Tyedyedbutterfly65 September 14th, 2020

@shiningSound31 Thank you so much !! appreciate your commenting on my post !

Tyeheart

1 reply
shiningSound31 September 14th, 2020

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

heartangelheart

1 reply
Tyedyedbutterfly65 January 17th, 2021

@shiningSound31 Thanks !! smileyheart

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peacefulWarrior10 October 3rd, 2020

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

Useful points from a mediator's perspective! Thanks!

1 reply
Tyedyedbutterfly65 January 17th, 2021

@peacefulWarrior10 Thank so much !

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KatePersephone October 3rd, 2020

@Tyedyedbutterfly65 true!

1 reply
Tyedyedbutterfly65 January 17th, 2021

@kateaala Thank you ! :)

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beautifulSeal9714 January 17th, 2021

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

that is a good explaination :))

1 reply
Tyedyedbutterfly65 January 17th, 2021

@beautifulSeal9714 Thank you !

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Readylistener April 15th, 2021

@Tyedyedbutterfly65 This makes so much sense, I loved the tip on accountability too

1 reply
Tyedyedbutterfly65 April 15th, 2021

@Readylisteneryes Thank you ! good luck , Tyesmiley

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PhoenixTears5972 June 21st, 2022

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

Well-explained and really insightful !

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shiningDay80 August 28th, 2020

@Heather225

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

- I actually was the third person between my sister and our mom. They had a conflict with each other and I got them both together and opened the floor for discussion. I gave one the opportunity to express their concerns without the other one interrupting and then vice versa. They were able to resolve it and come up with future solutions.

2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

- Make sure each person is listening to understand whether than to respond. When listening to respond, the message the other person was trying to send will feel like it went in one ear and out the other and then another problem may arise.

1 reply
Daf8 August 29th, 2020

@shiningDay80

heart Listening is very important! Thank you heart

KindnessMatters2020 October 9th, 2020

@shiningDay80

You sound like a natural born mediator! Well done with your mom and sister and showing that listening is the first step to resolution :)

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CheeryMango August 28th, 2020

@Heather225

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

Yes I have. I resolved it by finding common ground between the individual and I and we agreed to longer discuss the matter at hand.

2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

The use of active listening skills, having patience and always maintaining open communication

1 reply
Daf8 August 29th, 2020

@CheeryMango

heart Nice one! It s a great answer. heart

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softMusic9759 August 28th, 2020

Yes! Sometimes my mom and dad get into small arguments over something trivial and I'm always there trying to help them sort it out. Most of these arguments stem from misunderstanding and I try to sort this out by hearing both sides and making sure both of them understand the other's thought process. This brings me to my second point - always try to listen to the other person! It's hard, I know, but the argument might become something bigger and much more unwanted if you don't listen to the other person!

1 reply
Daf8 August 29th, 2020

@softMusic9759

heart Amazing! They are lucky to have you. heart

herealways27 April 6th, 2021

@softMusic9759

I certainly agree with you and I think it's great that you can bring out the middle ground between your parents.

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Daf8 August 29th, 2020

@Heather225

heart Hello! How are you doing? heart

heart I did! I applied the conflict resolution guides, and I eventually solved it. heart

heart Make a sincere compliment. This keeps calm and builds a more positive environment. heart

PeaceLoveandPaws August 29th, 2020

@Heather225

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it? Not here but yes, I have been in a conflict with a co-worker. In this situation, it was a co-worker who refused to participate in a particular team event and the team believed she was unwilling to participate because she didn't wan to interact with us; that perhaps she disliked us and they were resentful of her absence in these team building social events. As the team leader, I approched the co-worker who did not participate in a respectful way. The explanation was this co-worker had several food allergies and didn't participate to avoid any type of reaction. She was glad someone asked what her reason was rather than assuming she was unsocial. The team was releived to hear she really did want to participate in team building. As a solution, we planned social events and team building that she could participate in fully. It was a great experience for the team.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution? Kindness, openmindedness, and being respectful are necessary to avoid conflict. Don't assume because assumptions are based on personal judgement and are bias in our favor.

azuladragon34 August 29th, 2020

@Heather225

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?: I haven't been in any conflict resolution situation but if I was in one, I would resolve it by listening to others' points of view
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?: More listening, less talking

1 reply
Sandson September 4th, 2020

@azuladragon34

Those are great points. Could you maybe elaborate a little on both of them?

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blissart August 31st, 2020

@Heather225

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

i resolved the conflict by stepping back, gaining a different perspective and finding a common ground


2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

Sometimes humor works too

1 reply
KindnessMatters2020 October 9th, 2020

@blissart

Love your suggestion about finding a common ground, that can be so powerful in resolving conflict :) Thank you for reminding us of that important point.

Readylistener April 15th, 2021

@blissart Humour is always a great tool :)

lyricalSea85 November 1st, 2021

@blissart

Humor! What a lovely approach. One that I often use myself too.

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bookworm274 August 31st, 2020

@Heather225

1) At school, there are often cases of conflict which have typically occurred from miscommunication. I tend to be introduced as the third party but refuse to participate in the conflict. What I do, is encourage the two people to talk to one another, instead of me, calmly and figure out what happened and how it can be solved.

2) I think everything thats been mentioned here is pretty spot on. Like I said in my answer to question 1, simply calmly talking about it and listening to one another can really help with conflicts. When it doesnt, I agree with some of the other comments on here about finding a mutual target and working from there.

2 replies
shiningDay80 September 1st, 2020

@bookworm274

It's great that you encouraged them to talk to each other instead of dragging you in the middle of it. It can get complicated when that happens. Good for you for holding your ground. smiley

QuietMagic September 6th, 2020

@bookworm274 That feels so true that sometimes there's just a misunderstanding and talking to the other person and realizing that certain assumptions about their thoughts/feelings/motivations weren't true can resolve hurt feelings.

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