@justmeeva
Eva all forms of pain are valid, and you are right people tend to be more ignorant and playing it down when they cant see it as a physical manifestation with their eyes.
As for not having figured out everything you need to heal from and how to do it while balancing your school your family yes that sounds like a lotta work hun. Imagine it like a yarn that is completely tangled. If all the threads are pulled out at once then it doesn't untangle it, but if you slowly go one thread by another, fixing one knot after another, you will be able to detangle it a bit more day by day. Thats how healing sometimes can look like, thats what figuring out wt to heal from and how to heal looks like. I know your life is much more complicated than some grandmother's yarn and that can be overwhelming. I guess whenever a trigger pops up or smtg happens deal with one thing one by one.
Journalling may help with unpacking it. here's a few prompts u cud try answering for each event or issue-
1. What actually happened? If a third person with no context was narrating this
2. How did i interpret it as given the fact that i have a life worth of experiences and context
3. How did it make me feel?
4. What would i say to a friend who answered the previous three questions the way i did?
5. Whats just one single thing thats good or even okayish in my life rn? Cud be an online friend, or your lungs working or a good weather if thats where u wanna start at
And yes, life is meant to be lived not survived i remember u saying smtg similar in a post. But hun healing is living. You are not damaged goods, you are a work in progress. No state of self is permanent, we all have to work on, horrible things to cry at for days and at some point eat good chocolate ice cream laugh and stop crying over. Living is laughing with people, living is listening to beautiful music, living is reading a great book, but living is also crying cuz u feel pain so deeply, living is also feeling like you cant go on another day and yet living one more just one more day.
All of us here are proud of u, and are rooting for u and praying for u to whoever we believe in.
Also song recommendation- Damage by Caleb Hearn
And Eva if ur seeing this can u tell me a song u like or an artist u like?
With warmth and love,
A well wisher