Eva’s Crazy Mind

well aren’t i stupid. 

*** me. 

i’m an idiot. a complete idiot. 

now what. 

“leave,” my brain says. 

“ok,” i respond. 

and then i leave. 

@justmeeva leave where eva frnd? 🥺

@justmeeva

eva buddy…? 

@justmeeva

thinking of you. 💜 i love you so much. 

@LoveMyMoonflowers @justmeeva mhm. Me too buddy ❤️

(and love u flowers)

hope ur oki and safe eva buddy ❤️

@unassumingEyes

mhm… 😞

@justmeeva we're waiting for you buddy ❤️ give us a sign? Maybe heart a post? We're waiting for you ❤️ 

@LoveMyMoonflowers @unassumingEyes

i’m really sorry if i made you worried and didn’t come back before, there’s just something on cups that i think triggered that night and i wanted to forget it so my solution was to stay away for a little. i feel horrible for not coming here earlier, for making all this drama and make you worry i’m very very sorry i love you so so much

anyone here..?

*shaking*. 

“all the things she said

all the things she said

running through my head

running through my head

running through my head”

the tears keep flowing and my body keeps shaking

@justmeeva youre alive oh thank god

Dont apologize!! I said all i need is eva being eva! Thats all i was worried about. Im seriously not mad at youu but my responses are gonna be a bit slow rn cuz im processing😭❤️❤️

@iloveyouxx see? She came back ❤️

@unassumingEyes @justmeeva gtg eva buddy dinner time ❤️ lots of hugs❤️ ly sooo much ❤️ and im v.v.v proud of you (we all are :p) ❤️❤️❤️

@unassumingEyes 

it’s ok enjoy your dinner, love you. ❤️

@unassumingEyes @justmeeva

ahgsghgfjsgfgh. omg. :'3 I got the notification and was so happy that it somehow turned to overwhelming anxiety.. :P idk how that happens.🤍 I can see hehe.❤️ I’m processing too T^T @justmeeva I was so worried🥺🩷 you don’t gotta apologize at all frend. 7 cups just isn’t the same without evabuddy.💕💕 also are you oki ? >: well um now that I’m here I can guess that you’re not :'3💜. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m happy some other lovely people were.🤍 I know it can’t solve much. and I was gonna sleep ngl but now I got too excited/anxious(?)(xD) to sleep..so I’m here.💙 if you wanna talk. I’m here.🤍 but it’s oki. it’s oki :'3🤍 I’ll just be here.💖love you frend. it’s oki💜.

@iloveyouxx ur reaction is pretty much my reaction😂😭❤️

@unassumingEyes

😂😭😭 *🧠⚡️🧠* :P❤️ we love evabuddy vv much :'3❤️ so much that we broke how science is meant to science :P *tw* but I literally got a sharp feeling in my chest seeing that notification :')🩷 and had to avoid going on caps xD💜 I love you too eyesfrend <33 please try not to leave without saying anything :0/lh it’s scary heh💜:') and I’d have to leave first xD cos ily too much to have you leave first :P🤍/lh 

@iloveyouxx 

i’d never leave leave without saying anything. 🩷 but i understand it might’ve been scary. i’m really really sorry 😔

@justmeeva

smh nu stop apologizing :')/(completely)lh💓

it’s only scary cos we care about you fren :c💜

yous dont need to keep apologizing hehe xD/lh🤍 

we only wanted you to be oki.💙 nothing else :'3💖

@iloveyouxx 

oh wow i saw it so late smh. i’m sorry for making you worry 🩷 idk how i am - it’s been pretty.. crazy those past few days. or weeks. or months. idk. 

i hope you did get some sleep, i didn’t mean to steal sleep hours from you D: 

love you nadia fren 💕

@justmeeva

nu don’t apologize D:🤍 

.. :') 

and in those months I haven’t seen you talk about it once frend >:💜 you’ve always put everyone else first…🩷

it’s so selfless and thoughtful.. I think I’d like that about myself hehe.💕💕

but you’ve always needed support too :')💙 not only when it gets even worse :c🤍 

wish I could’ve been there for yous :/💜

it’s oki not to know.. when things get too much it’s hard to process it all :')🤍

_{it’s oki..it’ll be oki..💓}

hehe and it’s oki :0 I slept by accident :D again :P idk how many hours but I slept.💙

_{always love you more.🥺💓}

@iloveyouxx 

no no it’s not your fault lovely. i know you’re going through things yourself.. i wouldn’t expect you to deal with me. i get pretty impossible at nights :p though I really really appreciate you 🩷 but don’t blame yourself in any way. no no. i won’t let you. 🩷

@justmeeva

@iloveyouxx 

(i’m a bit busy rn so if my responses are slow or short - that’s why)

it’s okay. i’ll manage, somehow i always do. *gives you a big hug if oke* ❤️

@justmeeva

_{(it’s oki.tyt.🤍)}

you will.💜

hehe it’s still always oki :> *hugs tight and doesn’t let go*🩷🦑

@iloveyouxx 

i love that gif so much 🩷 thank you

my head’s hurting from the crying now

it’s not fair it’s not *** fair 

i can’t be here right now. bbl. 

@justmeeva Hey :) sorry if I'm intruding 

- Are you ok? Well I mean obviously something's wrong *sits with you* 

@mytwistedsoul

you’re not intruding, don’t worry

mm “ok” wouldn’t be a very good description of what i am right now. a lot’s going on, so many emotions, so much confusion.. yeah. 

(i appreciate you being here, a lot)

@justmeeva Ok :) I try to check one the first post because I know sometimes having strangers come on to our personal threads can be alittle scary but with the pen pal threads and stuff it gets really confusing 😬

Does if help to ground yourself? Maybe a few deep breathes? 

@mytwistedsoul 

yeah, i get that

i managed to calm down now, but my mind’s still.. crazy. 

@justmeeva Would you like to talk about what's on your mind? I'm not a listener but if you're comfortable sharing here - we can talk about it :) 

@mytwistedsoul 

i don’t know - it might be pretty triggering,  idk if it’s just rumours, if i’m overthinking it or if it’s true, i really don’t know what to do about it.