I got sick again. we’re officially….a month and 3 weeks in. 

cups is more just….cups- to me now. but you still have to struggle and grow with me so I’m not leaving :> <3 yaayyyy

it’s almost been a year on cups for me- well not really maybe in around 2 months then I’d be on cups for 1 year 

my brothers out with his friend today but it’s kind of getting late now-

you wanna hear a depressing story? ofcourse you do! :>

nvm I got censored and it’s too long so I deleted the whole thing. 

I fell asleep but this is what I was writing (it didn’t stay here I saved it because my dad)

if they did come back tho I would definitely start *** at them so hard like I wasn’t just falling apart again the day I couldn’t talk to them anymore like *** you you got me attached just to leave this *** so predictable but why them i get attached too easily but they made me feel cared about and I haven’t really had a proper like..connection with anyone cups or not in a while. yeah I have friends. but recently on cups it’s just been either we used to be really close but you haven’t been on cups for months you were just gone one random saturday or smth, you’re still on cups we just slowly started growing further apart and it’s been months since we last talked, we used to be close but stuff happens and now it’s just kind of sad this is the saddest to me, we used to be close but I got hurt over and over and over again and I don’t know how to talk to you anymore because you’re acting like nothing happened, you’re the “I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way” friend which is okay but sometimes they’re a little too- idk. the way they talk in general I’m not trying to be mean but sometimes it feels forced or ai generated or smth it doesn’t feel like I’m talking to the genuine you, you’re a good person probably I just dont think you like me fsr its obvious but not at the same time, youre nice probably its just every time we talk which is barely it feels forced or like you feel bad or idk, i got hurt a lot and talking to you felt like a relapse and now that youre gone i wish youd come back, you show up when you feel like it and by then i just cant, you keep convincing me youre leaving forever and coming back the next day which like idk its just how often it happens now even if you make a longg post tagging everyone youve ever met i still know youre coming back in max a week not even a week honestly, i stopped talking to you because i know you dont like talking to me, im the one that poofed because i cant talk to you after everything

and all my irl friends (oop 1 friend) make sure it’s really really clear that they don’t care the tiniest bit about me 

(I was just staring at the screen for a minute here and then my dad came and I saved it)

in English. I can’t breath I’m getting hit everything feels weird I’m waiting for her to let me go to the nurse but we’re reading everything feels so weird I don’t want to be here i don’t kwno what’s happened