in the wonders of my mind💗.

https://youtube.com/shorts/I-RzAnT4DG4?si=lXYaNPFl8DJ1tcQP

@iloveyouxx

@iloveyouxx

I actually only got one notification :P i haven’t read everything yet, thankyou tho <3 (everyone)

here’s a random poem that no one asked for 

I’m Sorry

I’m sorry for the breath I take,

The space I claim, the steps I make.

For every word that’s ever spilled,

For every dream I’ve never filled.

I’m sorry for the way I seem,

A shadow chasing after dreams.

For being me, for being here,

For all the days I lived in fear.

I’m sorry for the tears I’ve shed,

For nights alone, the thoughts I dread.

For feeling lost, for feeling small,

For holding on when I should fall.

I’m sorry for the times I’ve tried,

And all the moments that I’ve cried.

For being weak, for being strong,

For knowing right but choosing wrong.

I’m sorry for the life I’ve led,

For paths I’ve walked, the words unsaid.

For all the hope that’s turned to dust,

For breaking when I should’ve trust.

I’m sorry that I am alive,

A soul that struggles to survive.

For every breath, for every scar,

For reaching out but staying far.

I’m sorry for just being me,

A spirit tangled, never free.

For every whisper, every shout,

For every silent, hidden doubt.

I’m sorry if I let you down,

If my existence makes you frown.

For all the ways I couldn’t be,

For everything that’s trapped in me.

I’m sorry for the life I’ve known,

For every time I stood alone.

For all the things I can’t erase,

For simply taking up this space.

I’m sorry that I am this way,

A fleeting shadow in the day.

For all the sorrow, all the strife,

I’m sorry for my very life.

I really wish I had something to say but I just don’t feel fair I don’t know not saying anything and it would be sudden. but I am still distant idk but i might aswell so

i don’t know 

on…saturday? i sent a little request thing to get this forum removed and i know I could’ve gotten a commod or admin and I did eventually because I only wanted one reply/post removed from the forum but I don’t know I didn’t think they’d read if I specified the page and exact post and I was fine with getting the whole thing removed but an admin did get that post removed. I don’t know if this forum will actually get removed tho I sent my name and the link maybe it’ll take a couple days

nd I don’t know how long it takes but my profile will also be permanently gone in I’ll say a number of days maybe sooner so

I still just don’t know sorry I think I’m gonna go again until my profile goes

@iloveyouxx 

those upvotes from you lifted such a weight as soon as i saw them. honestly double checked to make sure it was really you, really true.

i know those words are nothing you’ve never seen before, but now more than ever, i put my whole heart in them. 

i’m glad you’re here. really really really glad you’re here. i love you i love you i love you. 

(no need to reply. just upvote if you want so i know you saw it and i’ll be happy <3)

Tw details? of dreams with murder 

I’ve been having dreams of an axe being thrown at my neck. nd I’d be on a balcony and I don’t know it was really detailed. 

I had another dream and it was with someone I knew basically replaying something I saw in a horror movie where person took the girls head and slammed it back on the wall so hard and she fell down and this huge *** mess and it was really scary, the movie not my dream

and it’s stupid to keep on attempting when it always just ends up being an attempt I don’t want to attempt I want to commit 

and I will anyway not that it matters I am kinda upset about this forum going cos I had a lot on here even if it was horrible and even tho I still hate it here 

I’m so numb and I like it but I wake up in the nights with my heart slamming through my chest and when I would stand the world was tilting and moving and my skin was crawling off my bones I don’t know how else to explain that it’s like each blood vessel was exploding and I feel everything and my heads just on fire and I try to walk and I fall to the floor and I don’t have any energy I can’t do anything but stay there, on the floor. fun. sorry for ranting

@iloveyouxx I just want to say thank you. It was nice talking with you. It was nice getting to know you. You're an amazing and smart person. Idk what's going on in your life right now. I only wish there was some way that we here could help make things better for you. I wish so many good things for you. Most of all I wish for you to care about yourself and to do good things for yourself because you deserve them. It's sad to see you go. You'll be missed very very much 💙

@iloveyouxx You say sorry. Im sorry too, i guess. But more than that im grateful, so so grateful, for every second spent reading your messages and posts, every word youve been kind enough to say to me, every breath ive spent in your company, even if just online. Thank you for that. Thank you for showing us even a bit of you. Thank you for being you, even if you apologize for it. Thank you thank you thank you. 

And i love you 🩷

I don’t know why but this is making me so upset now and I’m already crying but I’ll get off for a couple of minutes because I don’t want it to really obvious to anyone I’ll be back tho ❤️

@iloveyouxx i have to go 🩷 (sleep :/) but it was nice to see u again/gen 🩷 i really do wish the best for u potato frnd 🩷🥔 love u <3/p