in the wonders of my mind💗.

"woah woah woah- you made it to the bottom ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )i hope it was by reading through it all and not skipping through- hmmm👀 oh well ! now that you're here- have a cookie !  (づ• ヮ• )づ"

_{☠️ reading that kinda reminded me of my primary hoy} 

_{☠️I keep reading over it I was so childish. but it also reminded me to message someone brb :p}

_…..

_{someone told me to go climb a tree}

_{I’ve been seeing some really sad videos all day and I’m so drained}

_{I just feel stuck}

_{im out of my appartement but my dads coming back soon.} 

_{I wish I could just run. I’ve had dreams of it}

_{I feel like there’s something crawling in me.} 

_{I’m not that far}

_{I’m just walking around but sat down now. and some people are running around my area. I used to go to my balcony every morning in year7 because it helped me on school days and I’d see some people running around really early with headphones and there was this one guy that would be there every morning and Id always cheer him on in my head}  

_{my dad comes back around this time but there’re 3 ways to get to the front of my appartement and the second one he uses is from here} 

_{I just feel so stuck I already said it but I don’t wanna move} 

_{I’m at 4% :’)}

_{I thought I saw someone from my school but it’s not them}

_{i remember seeing 3 girls from my class in a mall and it was so scary but they never saw me. I walked right past them and they were just looking at one of the girls phone} 

_{I don’t think they would’ve recognized me tho} 

_{tw this is a random memory I just had. but in primary from year1 till now there was this one kid that would cause so much trouble. more than just any other kid I knew in primary :’) everyone knew him for it and idk if I can give examples of the things he’d done so I won’t. and in year3 he was 8 and we had pe and in primary there aren’t any sets and girls and boys had pe together. and the teacher wasn’t nice but we had a substitute and they let me go get my water bottle from my class. I don’t know why I left it there. and my lead teacher was there and the kid was standing against a wall kinda crying and she was yelling really loud. and she told me to go when I got my bottle so I left. and after lunch we had art and he was crying and hyperventilating so bad and he was fully red and everyone kept looking at him or trying to talk to him but I guess the teacher knew why so she made everyone stop and she was kinda mad about it :’) we weren’t even doing anything either way. he wasn’t hyperventilating really fast he was just taking really deep breaths idk how to explain it but it was like he’d gotten stuck underwater for a minute, not a great example sorry. and at some point the person that was sitting next to the kid started pushing him (lightly) and trying to talk or yell and the kid was just stuck. he wasn’t blinking or moving and he was still really red so the friend started yelling that he needs help and another teacher came in and picked him up fully and they got him to a hospital out of the school and cancelled the expulsion-}

_{he honestly was really bad, the things he did. and he’s gotten suspended before so many times and me and my friends used to count how many times he’d get detentions by different teachers in one day (we never said anything about him tho or maybe I just didn’t I don’t really remember). the things he did were just different. in a way I can’t put into words :’) and I feel like he would’ve gotten expelled earlier by any other school but idk if he deserved it. the next day he got worse brb} 

_{I’m still at 3%. and I feel like I can’t move and my dad might come back soon} 

_{my dad did come back at the time :’) he locked himself in his room now tho. I think he’s on a call. I have a minute} 

^{https://youtu.be/4sKNt6gbohQ?si=E4IZt2E8Dmgg9kkG}

_{I thought I already posted that but it was just there and I didn’t actually click post.} 

_{my dad went to sleep}

_{nvm he just came out and went back so I’m gonna go :’)}

js so no one gets mad or anything /lh 

honestly this feels kinda really pointless

but since I’m like whatever losing people because I tried to kll myself I’m gonna give you a goodbye post this time 

_{hope this is good enough I guess}

_{I’m mad at how pointless this feels}

_bye. 

@iloveyouxx 

I love you 🩷 

Even now ill still wait  <3 

@iloveyouxx Hey what happened? I'm sorry you're feeling this way

_{too late ): I can’t find your pms I’m so sorry😞this happens too much I’m gonna wait for them to reappear🩷I won’t talk here if you don’t want me too but until then} 

_{praying that you’re just on break I’m sorry love please be safe🩷I hope you know that I care, it’s vary hard not to care about you and some people are just fake (nd stupid I mean why just why-/j🩷) but I love you with no doubt and no denying🩷I don’t know how I’ll function until you come back ):🩷I’ll be worried, here for you <3 you’ll find me waiting❤️}

@cathugsandharmony sorry but this is so cute. little paws making biscuits 😊

@mytwistedsoul

hiii💙

omg wait let me show you the story https://youtu.be/s7GkIUcw1gA?si=aJbEJMj03RUJOXEj https://youtu.be/224U07t7mrI?si=ZqaaStxGsim51Dr- it was in my watch later hehe I know it’s so adorable❤️❤️

you don’t have to be sorry💙this is weird but I’ve only seen you a couple of times and I always wanted to be your friend😛which is weird because this is probably definitely the first time you’ve ever found out about my existence, I swear it’s not weird tho I just think you’re a good person💙maybe I’m just weird as a whole, anywho this was also in my watch later ❤️ https://youtu.be/exkX_69gcpA?si=D1vj36F3afHW9hjo

@cathugsandharmony It's nice to meet you 😊 This is definitely the first time I've come across your name. Not that it's really so much as weird but more of a pleasant surprise 💙 

@mytwistedsoul 

thankyou💜💜I don’t come to forums often so that makes sense💙awe that’s such a kind way to put it :p I still think I’m weird xD

@cathugsandharmony Aww it's alright to be weird. We're probably all alittle weird tbh. I think weird is good 😊

@mytwistedsoul

heey I’m sorry I was really busy today💜

aww that’s so sweet🥺💙weird can be good, it shows us we’re not npcs👍✨/lh thankyou❤️

@cathugsandharmony Nothing to be sorry for 💙 I figure we're all in different time zones anyway. Some of us are probably sleeping with others are working or at school

@mytwistedsoul

maybe it's just for me but I don't think you'd be able to see past here ):💙