in the wonders of my mind💗.

_{idk when I talked about this but it was a long time ago.} 

_{but I just :’) still can’t believe shadows switching schools next year.} 

_{It’s 100%}

_{and he’s so *** calm about it.}

_{he even knows the school he’s switching to- I have a friend in that school in the same year but not the point-}

_{i just don’t get it.} 

_{I don’t want him to stay. not even a little bit. he stresses me out so much and I’m always worried about him or what he thinks or where he is and I don’t even like the guy and it makes me mad cos I *** hate him but I *** don’t. he’s just on the same level as every other guy in my class. except for those 2 new kids. no offense but I forget they exist all the time- they’re still friends with all the other guys in the class and they’re new to the beginning of the year so yeah they’re okay incase that wasn’t clear :p}

_{its just that I don’t know what anything would be like without him.} 

_{he completes 8a.}

_{hes such a big part of our class- I mean no offense again but sum people if they left it wouldn’t make much of a difference like idk.} 

_{he’s so different. and without him I can’t even think of an english class going okay. especially with that guy that switched to our class.}

_{he doesn’t bother anyone but he’s a nightmare for the teachers.}

_{I don’t get it.}

_{everyone hated him in year 7 and now he’s so popular, *so popular*}

_{everything would just change.}

_{I don’t care.}

_{i don’t care.}

_{I needa go study. I won’t last. :’)} 

_{if you see me on cups literally just scare me off.}

_{I can’t even get off-}

_{okayokay I’ll get off now- I’ll leave…-}

_{I love how I still haven’t started.}

_{I think I needa slap of motivation-}

okayokay

ill actually start-

.…..

like- now-

_{https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NwrtptFdP1I&pp=ygUSVG8gbXkgeW91bmdlciBzZWxm}

@iloveyouxx That's a nice song :) 

@mytwistedsoul

_{hehe yus I agree💜I love these earphones sm becos at full blasting volume no one can hear anything even if they were right next to me :p🩷and I was listening to this playlist on spotify then I’d find it on yutube becos the link doesn’t work. I figured out how to really get myself to focus lol✨xD💕}

@iloveyouxx They sound like really good headphones. Hey finding out how to focus is a big step! Good for you! 😊

_{I’m so. tired.}

I’ve actually been studying.

_{https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=61RVCKEk1QE&pp=ygUMaGVyIGRvd25mYWxs}

_{I’ve been getting so tired too early.}

_{my cousin’s wedding is in 3 days :’) I can’t right now.} 

_{sumone said I was being too loud today.}

_☠️

………………….-

I talked once in term 2 and sumone started screaming cos they thought I couldn’t talk☠️

they thought I was deaf- how do you connect the two-?

_{I had my after school today.}

_{okay so apparently I’ve been pronouncing it "traunting" but it’s "truanting"} 

_{but- I didn’t do anything- :’)}

_{the chamakis were scarier}

_{the chamakis-..}

_{last time I got an after school it was all guys and only from sum year groups but now it was from all secondary year groups and there were 2 girls.}

_{I had to write a minimum 10 line apology to the teacher that put me in the after school? and there was this teacher that was lecturing that guy about how his actions got him here. he said he was just watching a fight or whatever- I honestly kinda believe it. our head of year is just so- there’s no word to describe her :’) the girl I was talking about calls her Ms dinosaur☠️and a buncha other people.}

_{I thought my full name would be called in the school microphone like last time- but my dad already told my family I was gonna be staying after school so-} 

I don’t wanna do it again.

_{there’s a girl in my science class with the most perfect handwriting you can ever imagine- and I asked her to write me a note for swimming and the teacher didn’t even see me :P}

_{okay actually- she did see me- but I’m confused. she was calling on random people saying she didn’t get a note or email from them or the people that were trying to hide she’d call them to get their excuse :p} 

_{and then she was doing the register and she said my name and I said here and then☠️she started looking around☠️but the thing is- she looked so excited to get me in trouble for "skipping" but she also looked mad then there was that realization.} 

_{and then she said (let’s just say my name was nadia lol :P) "oh nadia there you are *irritated look lmao the disappointment* *types into computer*"}

_{I’m just happy I got away and that this was the last swimming lesson of the year :3}

_{after that on tuesdays it’s table tennis? then idk I wasn’t paying attention-}

_{I’m praying that we have fitness again cos it’s the one lesson I don’t do anything :’) and no one else does anything. it’s kinda funny? cos in swimming over 20 people in my set didn’t swim a single time. and there were like 9 and less people swimming this year :p}

_{I dropped my apology letter in the teachers office☠️well it was like the pe staff office- and I asked for it to be passed to (teachers name) and I put a smiley face :3 like this ":)" I feel so childish-}

_{I hate it when just- it’s hard to explain- I feel like it’s a whole character. but I don’t like speeding through my childhood,} 

_{idk if it’s a real thing.} 

_TW

_{in my school. for like years, since everyone vapes and everyone knows everyone vapes but no one’s allowed to snitch- the code name for vape has been "lipgloss"} 

_{and this girl in my english class- I don’t sit close to her anymore cos the seating plan changed- but she basically said sum things like this} 

nevermind idk how to quote it. she was basically talking about how she bought new lipgloss and theyre a different flavor- she described the flavors but I forgot. and she was talking about how it was much better than her old one and how it tasted so good? I was laughing at that part cos- :P and also idk anything about how vape works so I didn’t know you could taste it either way- or if you can-? 

and then I later found out what it meant cos she told me then after class took me to the english bathroom to show me her like vape tricks☠️idk how to spell it but it sounds like "O"s and she was like "look I’m getting better at my Os" "wait look"  and we had a class after English but she kept showing me her tricks and all that- ;-;-

9 year olds in my school vape.

and they even made a sign that apparently means "do you vape" ? idk if that’s a real thing too- idk-

i kinda wish they’d stop. girls changing rooms are always so suffocating. 

so many people sell them too- that and blades- and they make hundreds-?

idk what happened. 

_{I woke up at 3am yesterday.}

_{idk when I slept but it wasn’t before 12am. or 1am :’)} 

_{a girl in my lead class had her parents divorce and she has family problems so she hasn’t been getting a lot of sleep.}

and we had to work on sumthing together in music and she was literally so exhausted :’) she looked sounded and acted like she was so insanely tired. she could barely focus on sumthing for a minute. she was forgetting things while she was saying them and just really distracted and tired. 

she got 8 hours of sleep-TvT 8 hours and 32 minutes :’)

🪂

🕳️

_{one time she got a notification from her tracker app thing :p saying that she got better sleep than 98% of (the app/watch ?) users-}

_{I’m  actually so tired.}

_{I’m gonna go.}

_{it’s not okay}

_{it’s not okay.}

I think I’m gonna pass out atp. goodnight🩷

_{I’ve never been so early before.}