@LoveMyMoonflowers

yep. you?

@amiableBunny4016 mmm idk. you sure? 

im ok thx. 

@LoveMyMoonflowers

yep. i'm sure.

@amiableBunny4016 :') 

would you like a hug? 💙 

@LoveMyMoonflowers

*hugs*

@amiableBunny4016 *hugs Bunny tight, but not too tight* 

💗

*sits* so.... um... life's been a bit crazy recently. i know i've been off and on quiet a bit. wishing you all well and hope you all are doing okay. even surviving is an achievement at times 💛

@amiableBunny4016 *sends Bunny hugs and good vibes* You've been catching up on school work too right? 

It's good to see you 💙

@mytwistedsoul

hey good to see you too <3

yeah i guess. it actually isn't that bad. most of this stuff is really easy. i've just finished some of my mock exams too (there is 11 exams in total) so we are getting there. and things at home are just the usual.... lol.

@amiableBunny4016 11 exams? Hey if it's easy on the mock exams you should do pretty good! Do you have to take them next week? 

@mytwistedsoul

Well we have 3 days of school left so I will do some after the summer holidays. Although to be fair they aren't even that bad. It's just practise exams 💜

@amiableBunny4016 Well practice or not I wish you lots of luck! You'll do great ! 💙

Three more days wow. Schools have been out here since June I think

You thinking about a summer job or anything? I guess you probably have to watch your brother? 

@mytwistedsoul

summer job? that sort of thing doesn't really happened in the UK. lol. we do work experience, but no one my age really do "summer jobs". that rarely even happens.

and plus, i cant get out of this house anyways. if i do, then he will be put into danger. 💙 yeah, we finish in July sort of later than you guys.

*sends hugs to soul if okay*

@amiableBunny4016 Oh I didn't know that. It seems to be a big thing here in the US lol

i look for you in the stars,

look and stare beyond the dark to see the light of you.

i look for you in these dull and endless streets,

just to find reflections of you in the window of people's homes.

But shadows loom everywhere i go.

i look for you in the mirrors of every room,

but you fade and evade me, and never seem to come to me

i look for you in my heart,

but as broken as it is, i'm afraid of its fragility. 

I look for you in the dark,

But i'm blind of joy and pleasure so I don't see you. 

How can you be so afraid of the light, when you've craved for it your whole life?

I can't find you. 

How could you leave me? 

You were the only person that stood by me.

Love,

Yourself

@amiableBunny4016 This poem reminded me of the song "Shadowplay" by Joy Division. 

"i hit you for your betterment. wasn't it worth it?" - this is the most sickening thing i've heard in my life

idk why i find joy in reading random studies from archives like this one.

i find distractions in such strange things. 

the events and protests happening in the uk make me even more anxious...

@amiableBunny4016 The world's alittle crazy right now. It's understandable it would make your anxiety worse 😞 it's all chaotic 

*offers safe hugs* 💙

@mytwistedsoul

TW///stabbing

yeah :( there was a really bad incident and stabbing happening which killed a few children and my heart aches every time it comes up. and then these racist protests.... its like aitoehatioheawtiew. it makes me angry and anxious at the same time.

*huggles if okay*

@amiableBunny4016 I heard about that on the news here. That is scary and sad. It's something that should have never happened. There's been a lot of protests here in the states too. Unfortunately crime is on the rise everywhere. Do you go out any or do you mostly stick close to home? Just - be aware and alert ok? Keep the doors locked 

@mytwistedsoul

i dont really wanna go out. to be fair, my city isn't that bad, its safer than other cities. But yk.. my anxiety doesnt like me lol. there is alot of racism going on and telling immigrants/refugees going back to their country protests and stuff. its all very messed up. i just try not to think about it or watch the news too much. *sighs* 

stuff with moms been hard...... eh. 

*hugs soul* 

@amiableBunny4016 It's probably best to just stick as close to home as possible anyway. There's alot of unrest and unease all over right now. Something is going to break

@mytwistedsoul

yeah... thanks soul. you seem to be one of the only person i have left to stand by me 💙 i appreciate you. *sends hugs if okay* i hope/wish you have the same. I hope/wish you find someone that loves you and cares for you the same way you do for so many many people. 

@amiableBunny4016 I'm sorry everybody seemed to poof right now. I think summer might have something to do with that. Vacations and camps but I could be wrong

bro why are people so stupid trying to burn down bins and hotels.... its everywhere on the news. 

the world is crazy.

sometimes i wish i could just erase everything. like my childhood.

@AvyIsKing

your in my thoughts buddy. Its been a very very long time.  💛oh yeah, and before you apologise for being gone for so long because i know that will be your response. its okay. its all okay. don't worry about it. *sits with you* i miss you so so so so so much and i know you were going through so much *** that you don't/didn't deserve. You were are still are the most beautiful and loving and caring person I've known. My first friend. My first family. My first buddy on 7cups. I will never ever ever forget you. 💛 You are awesome! hope your safe friend.

Bunny :)

my habit of reading books till 1am is really wrong... 

lol.

yk what... i'm so *** tired of giving a damn about people bullying me and tell me to go to ***. my whole life is ***. my *** childhood is *** man. the messages i get and ***...the messages i have to send.. i read them day and night and think like bro was i bad friend or what to deserve all this... now everyone is talking *** about me... now they must be happy.... i have no time to think about anything man.....

nice. i will go when i want to go to ***. not now.

so am i.

i do know what its like. i'm sorry but you don't know my life story.

she just repeats the same things over and over again...this is what she told me ages ago too.

the same story.

there is more messages but they are too detailed and gruesome/threatening for me to post on here

5 days to go.... and i'm already stressing myself out.

@amiableBunny4016 5 days? Is break almost over? Did you block that "friend"? Not that I would consider that person a friend though. You don't have to answer any of these questions of course

💙

@mytwistedsoul

No. The break is far from over. One of my exam results come out on the 22nd so I'm counting down. Basically we do 1 of our GCSE exams this year and the rest next year and that defines where we go next in life lol. It's a bit complicated. And no I don't bother blocking. I like to read the messages when I'm bored. It's entertaining 😀

@amiableBunny4016 Oh! Cool! It sounds kind of complicated tbh. I bet you did great 💙 I can kind of understand not blocking. I reread some messages too sometimes - not so much because I find them entertaining but because they help remind me where I stand with some people

@mytwistedsoul

Most likely she is doing me a favour. she is just indirectly telling me she is nowhere near worth my time and basically just telling me that i can turn around and talk to the people that actually respect me. oh well... i wish her well. 

i've missed you. i really hope your doing okay, or at least surviving friend. *sends love* 

Bunny :)

@amiableBunny4016 You're right. It's her way of showing who she really is. I've come to this conclusion myself about some people. The pettiness and all that - the unnecessary meanness. I look at it now as - ok message received - you won't hear from me again

@mytwistedsoul

*sits with you* i'm glad your still here, i'm glad your surviving and that you have got through the last few days. And yes, sometimes surviving is painful. Sometimes it all breaks down and falls apart. Sometimes you hit rock bottom and your just tired of it all. I know its hard. I guess... its just life. Its just the ways we have to go through. In the meantime, I hope you remember that you mean so much to me and to so many people on here and I can't empathise how much you mean to me. I hope that we can get through this together somehow. Always here if you just wanna sit quietly together or you want to talk about something small or you just want to have fun. 

I'm always there for a bit of fun or deep conversations, or just sitting with you. And yes, it might not help, but i hope and i pray that you find someone. just someone. that can understand you better and someone you can just have fun with or talk to about life. I know it doesn't take away all your pain and all your struggles. I wish there was more we could do. But its okay to express yourself sometimes and talk when you need it. If you need quiet time then thats equally okay. 

I'm fine. I've just been going through stuff, but yk it is what it is. i'm just over it all.

*sitting with you* :)