The only thing left is memories (Ape's diary, no peaking)
Tw; domestic, sexual abuse, PTSD, (possible Schizophrenia, DID) social anxiety, family stress.
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Hi buddies. Hugs for you all. This is my diary. No reply please. Love you.
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"When I stand before thee at the end of the day'thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healings."
—Tagore's 《Stray Birds》
@Apeatrice
Keeps going. You can do this.
Apeatrice
@Apeatrice
Keeps going. If anyone can do this, you can.
Life is right infrout of you.
Apeatrice
@Apeatrice
Hugging you tight. Honey, I'm proud of you, you are so strong, determined, beautiful, brave, and hardworking.
I'm behind you.
Apeatrice
You know what? I reactivated my social account and contacted someone who said am attractive and asked if I'm open to lgbtq. Whom I have blocked. And now I remessaged her. And guess what? I'm trying to find a way to stop eating food, since food is bought and its like blood *** my family. Maybe I will strave myself to death. Also, maybe its time to stop attending therapy, because it seems nit to be doing any good and its a waste of money. Plus, I don't even know how to pay the fee. And I wrote the script for the English competition even tho my mental state will certainly not support me to complete, because if I don't attend it, mom is going to slap her face infrout of me and told me I won't even work hard enough to win after all mom has done to me. Also, I think mom is crying, again, meaning she's going to be acting like a manic, again. And it will be so sample if I lift the knife and cut my arms. Hahaha
@Bearainy do you want to talk? im still here for you
@delicateTree8042
Yeah. I'm okay, I wrote those stuff long ago, don't worry about me.
Besides all that, who write those things, obviously I didn't.
They say its only far that one lose their minds every now and than. Breakdown is a normal part of live. I wouder if seagulls esting car is normal too
my room has been a total mass, I used to love cleaness and tidness, but now. I think my therapist is a spy, and everything I do is being watched and mom been crying again, I think. Lol.
My therapist isn't there to help, she spys onme, making sure that I don't escape
people eat and drink and sleep, isn't that a sin?
@Bearainy
I'm back, well, congratulations to myself. Seems strange, everything seems weird, changes comes tooo fast.
I guess it's werid to have a friend u met outside of Cups on Cups, that they joined because they want to make sure you are okay. It's weird how I have so much time on my own rn, because they payed for someone else to do housework.
I 'm supposed to write my diary in Chinese since I needs to improve my writing skills.
The scars are bothering me, a lot. And now... I'm disosstived again.
Anxious about therapy
I have no intentions of translating English to Chinese. Lmao