The meadow of a fluffy sheep

If we lose each other… heads underwater… I hope that you don’t hate me when it’s over… it would probably kill me… maybe not literally… just pull me closer and hold me when it’s over… /lyr

-🐑

Hello! So it happened. The DECA competition happened. For those of you who haven't been following this thread, DECA is an entrepreneurship program and I had a competition yesterday.

I've been working super hard on my business plan since the second week of the school year. I gave it my all. I did my very best, I spoke clearly and confidently, and even though I didn't place top 12 out of 30 and won't be advancing to the state or national competition, I'm still proud of myself for how much effort and passion I put in and how well I did. This is all I’ve thought about and focused on and worked on for the past several months and this is my main passion and hobby and interest, and even though I didn't win, it was a fun experience and I'm glad I got the opportunity to compete.

Unfortunately, I can't enter the competition a second year with the same business idea, so I won't be competing again next year, but on the bright side, I now have time to set up my website, which is basically the last part of the business I need before getting my pilot (first) customers.

hullo Fluffyyyyyy <3

Updates from these past few weeks!

I started my DBT group and I’ve really enjoyed it so far, I think it’s going to be very helpful. 

Two friends came over after school and we spent most of the time eating microwave food but it was nice to spend time with them outside of school. 

I did a lot of writing for a DECA assignment, we’re in our social media marketing unit and I planned 30 days of social media content. 

I ate lunch with two friends, a freshmen and a sophomore, they didn’t know each other so I introduced them.

It was Sara’s birthday on the 3rd so we celebrated that by going to a restaurant. It was a super good local family-owned restaurant, one of our favorites. We brought our dog in a backpack carrier and we met the owner which was super cool because the restaurant had won many awards and had been around for a long time. He got to meet my dog and we talked a bit. 

I had work and did chores. 

(Continued)

I had a mental health intervention person come to myhouse to work with me, it was something that I was referred to after I had gotten out of the hospital. We reviewed how the past week had been and planned who got to be out and when so we could use our self-care. She said she's glad that the DBT group has been going well, she gave me her contact info and told her to text or call if I needed her, and I'm meeting with her once a week for the next few months to work through things that come up.  

I had a meeting for ANSR (association for nonsmokers Minnesota) and we talked about Day at the Capital which is on March 5th. We’ll talk with state legislators about ending the sale of flavored tobacco. We reviewed the hook, line, sinker method. The hook is your introduction, your name, where you’re from, your grade, your association. The line is explaining why it’s important to you that the sale of flavored tobacco ends. The sinker is when we ask them if they’re with us in signing the end of the sale of flavored tobacco. 

I’m also making posters with coping skills to hang up in the bathrooms. There’s an escape the vape video challenge run by the Minnesota Department of Public Health, it’s for teenagers to make a creative 30 second video convincing their peers to stop vaping or not to start in the first place. My friend and I came up with some great ideas and we planned to film it today but my mom said I had to cancel having her over because I didn’t get my homework done and I also called into work yesterday because I was barely able to get any sleep and was way too tired to function and perform and that’s not okay. We’ll find another time to film it and this time I’ll try to have my assignments in and make sure I’m going to work. 

One of my friends shared that their mom was being very mean, rude, inappropriate, and emotionally abusive to them. They said that their mom said that all they do is lie, that’s all they are and all they do, she doesn’t even know who they are anymore and she doesn’t want to know, she doesn’t want a relationship with them, and basically called them worthless in a bunch of ways. I was there to support them and empathize with them, I told them that’s not okay for her to do and say and it wasn’t their fault, they didn’t do anything wrong, but it’s completely valid to be very hurt because what she did and said was very hurtful and they don’t deserve that, even if they did lie about something, which they didn’t even do. I told them that they deserve a safe, loving, stable, supportive mom, and I’m so sorry they don’t get that. 

(Continued)

It was Waffle Wednesday, which is one Wednesday a month when the theater kids sell gluten-free dairy-free waffles to fundraise for theater, choir, and prom, so my friend and I got some waffles. They were good for being dairy-free gluten-free waffles. When I was in DBT, I shared that I had been singing to cope, and the group leader asked what I had been singing. I said my favorite artists were Tate McRae, Ava Max, Sara Kays, and Kenya Grace, and the other DBT participants really loved those artists too! So we bonded over that. 

I got food from the food shelf at school because my mom had the biggest presentation of the year with the CEO this week and she didn’t have time to cook. I got pancake mix and made pancakes and felt competent. 

My school is selling flowers for Valentine’s Day. You can buy flowers for people and write them notes, so I bought ten flowers and they’ll go to eight friends and two friendly acquaintances. I got one of my best friends a little box of lavender vanilla scented body care products at Bath and Body Works because she gave me some lavender lotion for Christmas. 

There’s been a series of incidents happening at school with a girl who is immature and disrespectful and up to no good, I’m not going to explain the situation right now because it stresses me out but I met with a BI (behavioral interventionist) and explained everything, all context for the whole situation. But before I did that I introduced myself because I hadn’t formally met this BI before and I explained that I come into this with respect and I am not looking for trouble I’m trying to prevent it and I don’t want drama I want the drama to end because I don’t have time or space in my life for drama. 

I went through the notes I took. He said he loves my personality and this was the first time we had sat down and talked but he says I’m very mature for my age and he wants me to always keep that about me because there are few people who are in the realm of understanding that I am and coming from the place that I am coming from and he loves when students advocate for themselves like I am doing and that I am very good with my words and he loves my vibe and values and what I stand for. That really made my day and made me feel special. 

How do I love

How do I love again?

How do I trust

How do I trust again? 

I stay up all night

Tell myself I’m alright

Baby, you’re just harder to see than most

I put the record on 

Wait ‘til I hear our song

Every night I’m dancing with your ghost

Every night I’m dancing with your ghost

/lyr