The meadow of a fluffy sheep
Hello! For those of you who don't know me, you can call me Everett. I'm a 14-year-old omnisexual enby from Minnesota. My pronouns are they/them.
I decided to make a diary entry forum to share updates about my life. If you'd like to follow this thread, go ahead! It would be much appreciated.
Anyone can add supportive comments at any time. I don't mind if you'd like to relate by sharing similar experiences. Although I created this forum with the intent of it being a space for me to share, I'd love to keep this an ongoing conversation where anyone can chime in.
I don't really have much else to say in this introductory post, so take care, my amazing friends, and I look forward to getting this diary entry forum going.
@selflessSpruce1515
@NotALaser
@Everlee
@coldbreeze00
@AdrienTheWolf
@mnemosynes
@bookishBlue13
@fearfearfear
@EverywhereEverything
@JennyINFP
TW: grooming, pedophilia, sexual abuse, caps //
I told my mom that I’ve been struggling with my self worth after being groomed when I was 12, 13, and 14… I said “…they ruined me… they ruined me… they *** ruined me… I hate them all so *** MUCH… I hate them all… I can’t get out of this mindset because of them… Zach and Tom and Samuel… and “Lexi”… and all the others… wtf… wtf… wtf… I can’t stop thinking this way… or just… the random hypersex… and wanting to put myself out there and be seen in that way… I… I hate it… wtf is wrong with me… and just wanting to please people… and being so scared that I’m not doing good… or hurting someone… I hate them all so *** MUCH”… I told her all this… and she just said “Ok”
I'm sorry that all of you didn't get the support you needed from your mom.
It's hard having reached out and opened up, only not to get the support we need.
I want you to know that all the emotions, thoughts and feelings you have are
all very valid, you did not deserve everything you've been through, no one does.
I'm sending you tons of huge hugs if okay *hug*
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@Fluffysheep8
i'm so so sorry that happened. and that's terrible of her for reacting that way and not giving you the support you so clearly needed.
@Fluffysheep8 I'm sorry that happened Fluffy and it sounds so frustrating to vent to someone just for them to be so emotionally distant and uncaring.
Sending lots of love and healings 💪🏼🩷🩷🩷
@JemmyX0X0
Hey Jemmy, good to see you, my friend ❤️ how’ve you been? Thank you for your lovely support ❤️
@Fluffysheep8 Hi Fluffy it's been a while <3 I've been moved to the adult side last week and yesterday was my 18th bday. I'm doing decently even though I'm a bit struggling to make friends. But I see friends that were teenies with me and talking to them made me more willing to lurk less in the community room haha.
If we lose each other… heads underwater… I hope that you don’t hate me when it’s over… it would probably kill me… maybe not literally… just pull me closer and hold me when it’s over… /lyr
-🐑
Hello! So it happened. The DECA competition happened. For those of you who haven't been following this thread, DECA is an entrepreneurship program and I had a competition yesterday.
I've been working super hard on my business plan since the second week of the school year. I gave it my all. I did my very best, I spoke clearly and confidently, and even though I didn't place top 12 out of 30 and won't be advancing to the state or national competition, I'm still proud of myself for how much effort and passion I put in and how well I did. This is all I’ve thought about and focused on and worked on for the past several months and this is my main passion and hobby and interest, and even though I didn't win, it was a fun experience and I'm glad I got the opportunity to compete.
Unfortunately, I can't enter the competition a second year with the same business idea, so I won't be competing again next year, but on the bright side, I now have time to set up my website, which is basically the last part of the business I need before getting my pilot (first) customers.
@Fluffysheep8 aww sorry you couldn't make it, but I hear ya! Great experience nonetheless and lots to learn, wishing you good luck with your pilot customers and taking the idea forward. Also I hope you do come up with good ideas for future years and competitions, sending my best wishes for the same!
I am so very proud of you all, I want you to know that!
You went out there, did your thing, made your ideas seen!
That's very admirable!
Yay! To all of you!
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hullo Fluffyyyyyy <3
@JemmyX0X0
Hey Jemmy 🤗 thanks for stopping by. ❤️ How’ve you been, my friend? ❤️
@Fluffysheep8 it's been busy I guess 😅 Applying to colleges, assignments, etc etc etc
today I had no school because it snowed too much lol
Can't wait for the weather to get warmer just to complain about the heat 😂😂😂
@JemmyX0X0
Makes sense, haha. I know you work very hard! I'm so proud of you. Just try not to burn yourself out too much.
@Fluffysheep8 aw tysm! So far I've been accepted to 8 colleges! I'm waiting for 3 others to send me their decisions, and then I'll work on deciding! Hopefully, the FASFA doesn't take too long to process and send to them...I need MONEY! XD
Updates from these past few weeks!
I started my DBT group and I’ve really enjoyed it so far, I think it’s going to be very helpful.
Two friends came over after school and we spent most of the time eating microwave food but it was nice to spend time with them outside of school.
I did a lot of writing for a DECA assignment, we’re in our social media marketing unit and I planned 30 days of social media content.
I ate lunch with two friends, a freshmen and a sophomore, they didn’t know each other so I introduced them.
It was Sara’s birthday on the 3rd so we celebrated that by going to a restaurant. It was a super good local family-owned restaurant, one of our favorites. We brought our dog in a backpack carrier and we met the owner which was super cool because the restaurant had won many awards and had been around for a long time. He got to meet my dog and we talked a bit.
I had work and did chores.
(Continued)
I had a mental health intervention person come to myhouse to work with me, it was something that I was referred to after I had gotten out of the hospital. We reviewed how the past week had been and planned who got to be out and when so we could use our self-care. She said she's glad that the DBT group has been going well, she gave me her contact info and told her to text or call if I needed her, and I'm meeting with her once a week for the next few months to work through things that come up.
I had a meeting for ANSR (association for nonsmokers Minnesota) and we talked about Day at the Capital which is on March 5th. We’ll talk with state legislators about ending the sale of flavored tobacco. We reviewed the hook, line, sinker method. The hook is your introduction, your name, where you’re from, your grade, your association. The line is explaining why it’s important to you that the sale of flavored tobacco ends. The sinker is when we ask them if they’re with us in signing the end of the sale of flavored tobacco.
I’m also making posters with coping skills to hang up in the bathrooms. There’s an escape the vape video challenge run by the Minnesota Department of Public Health, it’s for teenagers to make a creative 30 second video convincing their peers to stop vaping or not to start in the first place. My friend and I came up with some great ideas and we planned to film it today but my mom said I had to cancel having her over because I didn’t get my homework done and I also called into work yesterday because I was barely able to get any sleep and was way too tired to function and perform and that’s not okay. We’ll find another time to film it and this time I’ll try to have my assignments in and make sure I’m going to work.
One of my friends shared that their mom was being very mean, rude, inappropriate, and emotionally abusive to them. They said that their mom said that all they do is lie, that’s all they are and all they do, she doesn’t even know who they are anymore and she doesn’t want to know, she doesn’t want a relationship with them, and basically called them worthless in a bunch of ways. I was there to support them and empathize with them, I told them that’s not okay for her to do and say and it wasn’t their fault, they didn’t do anything wrong, but it’s completely valid to be very hurt because what she did and said was very hurtful and they don’t deserve that, even if they did lie about something, which they didn’t even do. I told them that they deserve a safe, loving, stable, supportive mom, and I’m so sorry they don’t get that.
(Continued)
It was Waffle Wednesday, which is one Wednesday a month when the theater kids sell gluten-free dairy-free waffles to fundraise for theater, choir, and prom, so my friend and I got some waffles. They were good for being dairy-free gluten-free waffles. When I was in DBT, I shared that I had been singing to cope, and the group leader asked what I had been singing. I said my favorite artists were Tate McRae, Ava Max, Sara Kays, and Kenya Grace, and the other DBT participants really loved those artists too! So we bonded over that.
I got food from the food shelf at school because my mom had the biggest presentation of the year with the CEO this week and she didn’t have time to cook. I got pancake mix and made pancakes and felt competent.
My school is selling flowers for Valentine’s Day. You can buy flowers for people and write them notes, so I bought ten flowers and they’ll go to eight friends and two friendly acquaintances. I got one of my best friends a little box of lavender vanilla scented body care products at Bath and Body Works because she gave me some lavender lotion for Christmas.
There’s been a series of incidents happening at school with a girl who is immature and disrespectful and up to no good, I’m not going to explain the situation right now because it stresses me out but I met with a BI (behavioral interventionist) and explained everything, all context for the whole situation. But before I did that I introduced myself because I hadn’t formally met this BI before and I explained that I come into this with respect and I am not looking for trouble I’m trying to prevent it and I don’t want drama I want the drama to end because I don’t have time or space in my life for drama.
I went through the notes I took. He said he loves my personality and this was the first time we had sat down and talked but he says I’m very mature for my age and he wants me to always keep that about me because there are few people who are in the realm of understanding that I am and coming from the place that I am coming from and he loves when students advocate for themselves like I am doing and that I am very good with my words and he loves my vibe and values and what I stand for. That really made my day and made me feel special.
@Fluffysheep8 I’m glad it made you feel special because that’s exactly what you are 🫂
How do I love
How do I love again?
How do I trust
How do I trust again?
I stay up all night
Tell myself I’m alright
Baby, you’re just harder to see than most
I put the record on
Wait ‘til I hear our song
Every night I’m dancing with your ghost
Every night I’m dancing with your ghost
/lyr
@Fluffysheep8 such a lovely song
@Fluffysheep8
@Fluffysheep8
yeah... it sucks... when they cant. it almost feels like an obligation for most parents.. a burden... to dress , feed and take care of kids. its why they get frustrated.
@amiableBunny4016
and it’s scary when they get frustrated…. 😞
@LoveMyMoonflowers
you get used to it eventually.
@amiableBunny4016
yeah.
@Fluffysheep8
@Fluffysheep8
@Fluffysheep8
Is the video working 😮
@Fluffysheep8
i can’t see it 😅
@Fluffysheep8 cant see it :\