In the Corner
Sometimes, the thoughts in my head repeat over and over and over again until I need to tell them to someone, even if noone's listening. So, this is my little corner to do that. Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts. Trigger warnings, just incase. And, @LoveMyMoonflowers, @justmeeva @DarkerPlaces and @iloveyouxx are welcome to replies. Not really comfortable with anyone else. Sorry for tagging. Be safe everyone <3
Tw i might- i might throw up. God. Hate it when things break. Keep hearing the glass shatter. Over and over and over. God. Not good.
Good day today. Wish i cld send some good vibes @justmeeva @iloveyouxx 💓
@unassumingEyes
awe, glad you had a good day🩷I love your random kindness hehe so sweet thankyou💕💗*noms good vibes*
@unassumingEyes
oh wait, your internet/lh
(second one says you are awesome😭💞)
❤️xD❤️
@unassumingEyes
yay for good day 🥳
thank you eyes friend 💕🩷
Tw.
My maths sir from grade 8 is dead.
He had cancer.
He's the reason I like maths.
He's the reason I got full in maths in grade8, not just because he taught well but also because he encouraged well.
Because he was so sure I could do it that I did.
And now he's dead, and thats not...okay.
Tw
If anyones weird to you, I told her, Ill fly to the uk myself and punch em
I worried about bullies. In...lower times, I worried about worse.
If they so much as touch you weird-
Broken, broken, broken promises.
No touch, she said, no touch
Just words
Ill fly to the uk myself-
Another lie to the record
Another bitter truth
Sometimes I cant breathe
Me neither, i think. Sometimes I dont want to.
And- guilt. For what? Im not her bully. Im just another kid.
Guilt for being useless
Guilt for being weak
Guilt for writing this damn post, as if i have the right
Noone protected me. Noone protects me. I tried to change that for her.
But how can I protect her from everything?
I cant.
9 hours. My ears have been blocked for 9 hours. We tried everything. And there wasnt even an ENT available at the hospital and probably wont be available tomorrow because of a national holiday. I am close to overwhelmed. My ears hurt and i cant hear sounds right. I hear them but just- muffled. And if someone speaks too fast or quiet i cant understand a thing. Hearing whispers is borderline painful. And i dont want to go an ENT on thursday. Its embarrasing. And my first day of college is on thursday and mom asked what wld happen if i still cant hear right by then and now im mortified and there is so much pressute on my ears and im trying to pretend its fine but its not working-
My ears are still blocked. Um. We're going to go to an ENT tomorrow, hopefully. It's. Kind of overwhelming. It's been almost 3days.
Today was the first day of college. 6hours away from home. I didnt- make friends, or anything. But it was nice. It was- okay.
@unassumingEyes Aww hey congratulations on your first day! It'll take time I bet to make some friends. Especially with it being the first day
I hope things go ok with the ENT. It's no fun when you can't hear like you normally do 😕
@mytwistedsoul thanks soul 💙 just got back from college it was :0 ew xD and just booked the ENT appointment for 8pm. Oh boy xD
@unassumingEyes Ew doesn't sound too good 😬 Although it's more school so - yeah Eww! 😝 Are the classes hard? What are you going for? No pressure to answer of course!
Sending good luck vibes for the ENT appt!
@mytwistedsoul soul your goodluck saved my life xD ENT appointment went great- the procedure was admittedly painful (very-) but i can hear everything now. And i do mean everything. Whispers from across rooms. Cloth moving. Air. Everything. 😆😭 i wont bore you with the details but apparently i hvnt been hearing normal for a long time and didnt realize and just adapted to it. And now i hv to adapt to...noise. lots of noise. All the noise xD
Im taking pre-medical in college. Thats conpulsory subjects (languages, religion and social studies) along with sciences (no math or computer). The works manageable so far. The girls are. Well. I dont want to ruin your mood by giving any example, but they arent nice 🤷♀️ just two years in this college tho and then i can run away from all of this (and get stuck in uni! XD)
Howve you been?/nfta
@unassumingEyes Hooray for the sound of - well - sounds lol Aww that's great that they got it all fixed up for you and you can hear a pin drop. That will take some getting used to because it's a very noisy world
@mytwistedsoul hooray for sounds! XD
I might not be Dr. Eyes xD im going to give math exam as a private student, so ill have the option to apply for both medical uni and IT. I dont know which Ill do yet xD
Everyones busybusybusy looks like xD im glad youre okay-ish 💙
@unassumingEyes Oh cool! Both are pretty important imo! Which would you prefer? nfta of course
@mytwistedsoul Im confused tbh, being a doctor has a lot of scope in helping and understanding people, but the subjects itself are not appealing. IT has lesser scope and needs more creativity to make a positive impact, but is also way more interesting for me. If there was an option to combine- and in a way i can, by doing medical uni and taking IT courses after. But thats a really long period of studies, med uni is 6 years long here on its own. I really dont know what ill do
Idk about oldies, but i think the teens are a bit low rn. End of summer vaca, maybe? I havent been around much myself, once or twice a day seems pretty less compared to the earlier hours long cupsings 🤔
@unassumingEyes My first thought was the robotics they have for surgeries. But yeah if that adds alot to your time to be at college that would be too long. Maybe with the time that you're doing the compulsory classes you'll narrow it down? They're both in demand jobs. What ever you choose though - I'm sure you'll do great
@mytwistedsoul thank you 💙 surgery robotics wasnt really something i thought about- thats more hands-on engineering, which i dont think ill be doing much of either way. If i did do engineering, I'd probably go into environmental engineering and that just opened up another round of possibilities in my head, oop. Thank god i have 2 years to decide xD
Yeah, schools hectic. Although I guess adult life would be even more so 😬
@unassumingEyes Oh wow I didn't even think about the fact that it would add engineering to the mix. Sorry about that 😬 You definitely have alot of options though but making the choice is the hard part 😕
Omg adulting is a major pain in the butt. Don't grow up it's a trap! 😅
@unassumingEyes I just wanted to say - what you wrote earlier was beyond amazing 💙
@mytwistedsoul soul, atleast half of what I speak nowadays is a lie, or a half-truth. But every word I write- it is the most honest I have ever been.
Sending good vibes 💙