In the Corner

@iloveyouxx @LoveMyMoonflowers @justmeeva  

Congrats guys ❤️

Wrote this: (italicized (?) words are pinterest quotes)

Everybody has a chapter

They don’t read out loud

To be a star you must burn,

Hidden in a crowd

Put to the words the feelings

You don’t really feel

All those hidden secrets

Time will soon reveal

Keep on moving onward

They’d kill to see you fall

Spread your wings, mighty bird-

Of Paradise, and all

Silence is not idiocy 

Lies are sometimes true

Civilizations have fallen 

But we’ve still been spared you

Everybody has a chapter

They don’t read out loud

Time reveals those careful secrets

Hidden in the crowd

I have endured hours without electricity in burning heat, days without a functioning bathroom and years with a reckless elder sister.

And i cant handle two minutes of listeneing to mom complain anymore??? 

Evey idea i have for my life for my blog for my school for my like existence as an independant person every single idea i have mom takes it and allows sis to use it and doesnt allow me 

And then i spend days pushing away any jealousy because i cnt be jealous of sis 😀

"Woah what's wrong?" 

How does everyone notice through the ways i messgae but no one irl can get anything? 

Tw 

tw

(religion related rant, mention of trouble breathing)

so uh back when i actually used to read the Quran there used to be a thing that happened that the more i read the harder it was to breath like id read the verses in my head and it would feel like a weight on my chest and like i wasnt breathing and the feeling would just increase until i wld freak out like "if i read one more verse something will happen like i cant breathe if i read more ill suffocate" so i wld stop there and once it didnt get that bad yet and i stopped for a second to try to breathe and like id just read the last verse on the page and i didnt move on to the next page yet right so i stopped to breathe and close my eyes and my chests feeling all heavy and my brain just

says the next verse

in like arabic which i dont understand arabic you know i use a translation 

so i just dismiss the like thought and im like dont make up verses but it comes again and this whole arabic verse ive never learnt just starts repeating in my head and my chest is still weird so i opened my eyes and i went to the next page and i read the next verse and somehow it was exactly the same like i had guessed the next verse

so im like im 12years old so i went to mom and im like when i recite the quran i cant breathe and just now this happened that i just guessed the verse right even tho i don't know the language and mom says its a blessing from God and I'm just saying what does it mean and she just says u know God knows best

so like a week later and im avoiding the Quran and one day i start reading it again and again i cant breathe and im like is my mind playing tricks on me? so the next day i go to my Islamic teacher after class and i asked her u know this thing happens to me what does it mean u know like whats God trying to tell me here? and my islamic teacher gets so excited and she tells me im blessed and whatnot and the rest of the year shes like paying full attention to me and im still like i dont understand?

so naturally being a kid and not understanding i start getting scared like nobody gets this but when the breathing thing happened it really got worse and worse the more i read to the point where id get convinced that if i read a verse more ill di.e and everyone kept saying it was a blessing from God and im like why would God you know scare me when im reading the Quran like this?

so i start drifting away from the Quran and mom gets mad and she yells at me to read the Quran and now its been four years almost and everytime i pick up the Quran i just feel uncomfortable and sometimes it happens again that i cant breathe and i just read maybe one page and hv to put it down again and then i cnt pick it up for like a week after

so yeah religion confuses me and i try to be open to learning more about all religions but its really diificult when i cant pick up the Quran without all this.