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In the Corner
Sometimes, the thoughts in my head repeat over and over and over again until I need to tell them to someone, even if noone's listening. So, this is my little corner to do that. Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts. Trigger warnings, just incase. And, @LoveMyMoonflowers, @justmeeva @DarkerPlaces and @iloveyouxx are welcome to replies. Not really comfortable with anyone else. Sorry for tagging. Be safe everyone <3
My close frnd, the uk one, she said she had a panic attack on sunday. About her studies. She was embarrased about how worried everyone got and i told her it wasnt her fault they were worried. I told her it meant they love her. That its a good thing.
...
She sounds fine. Thats kind of the oart that scares me. Shes thoughtful as always. Considering the debate.
Shes not faking it, i dont think so. If she was faking being fine she wldnt hv told me about the panic attack. I think she genuinely is fine-ishm
The reason it scares me is the what ifs. What if it goes downhill from here?
Tomorrow, ill ask her if she remembers the grounding techniques i told her. Today i wont say anything- dont want to come off as stressful or smothering.
Me trying to quickly finish the CDM program in time: 🤓
My mentors not giving me feedback on something i need feedback for: 💅😴
Sorrysorry i know im being impatient but the result and the phone being taken and i want to complete it xD
@unassumingEyes
smh eyes xD and I made you seem so amazing to my friends too xD/j/j I was all like oh them? they're the best you'll ever meet I mean they're they're so kind, loving, patient, hardworking😛💖it's okay friend I think I mean can't they finish it faster we have an eyes in a strict household over here🙄❤️/j when did you last finish it?🩷/nfta
Tw caps
THE BOARD ANNOUNCED A DATE
MY RESULT COMES NEXT FRIDAY
(WHY *FRIDAY*)
*eeeeeeeeeee-*
@unassumingEyes
next friday😭😭😭😭you might as well take a whole year/j not to overwhelm you but aren't you getting results this week ): sorry my replies are really slow right now😑🩷can you log in on someone's device when everyone's busy/asleep and look at the feedback?
now that I think about it I think you meant your results from school😅🩷and that would probably be worse, I know your mom has *beyond* high expectations but pleasee don't overwhelm yourself studying like all day): /lh think about this instead https://youtu.be/ad1h8fSqSzw it's overwhelming but not as bad/lh can you see how much you can get done on a day and even that out to a week🩷it'd be harder to do too much one day and not be able to do much the next🩷I'm sorry eyes now I have to try extra hard to be on cups for you😞💖💖💖
@cathugsandharmony its school resukts xD
Also my net wont let me open the link yet :0
@unassumingEyes
yurp thought so xD
can you try highlighting it and clicking open link I think it’s really important🩷hold on let me try again
@justmeeva dnbdndbc who gave you the right to be this sweet 😭🩷
Ive been thinking of u too 🩷 and of how amazing you are 🩷
@unassumingEyes
um… me (:
how’s eyes lovely feeling? well, despite the toothache 🩷
@justmeeva mentally okay rn 🩷 physically i feel nothing but tooth ache xD how bout u? 🩷
*sneaks an "i love you" in 🤭*
@unassumingEyes
i’m really glad you’re mentally okay 🩷🩷 *manifests eyes’s toothache away* lmk when it works 🩷🩷
i’m okay aswell 💞
*notices the sneaky ‘i love you’ and sneaks in an ‘💗i love you too💗’ even more sneakily*
@justmeeva
Sneaky eva 🤭🩷
Its taking a while for the toothache to listen to you xD
Im glad youre oki 🩷 im always here for you, okay? Even if i cant come on cups after friday 🙄
@unassumingEyes
*manifests neutral reaction from eyes’s mother and the ability to see eyes on cups even after friday* 🙏🩷🩷
thank you friend 🩷 i’m here for you too 💕💗
@unassumingEyes
🥺💜 thank you friend 💜 @iloveyouxx @justmeeva congratulations to you three too 🩷 love you all /p
Wrote this: (italicized (?) words are pinterest quotes)
Everybody has a chapter
They don’t read out loud
To be a star you must burn,
Hidden in a crowd
Put to the words the feelings
You don’t really feel
All those hidden secrets
Time will soon reveal
Keep on moving onward
They’d kill to see you fall
Spread your wings, mighty bird-
Of Paradise, and all
Silence is not idiocy
Lies are sometimes true
Civilizations have fallen
But we’ve still been spared you
Everybody has a chapter
They don’t read out loud
Time reveals those careful secrets
Hidden in the crowd
I have endured hours without electricity in burning heat, days without a functioning bathroom and years with a reckless elder sister.
And i cant handle two minutes of listeneing to mom complain anymore???
Evey idea i have for my life for my blog for my school for my like existence as an independant person every single idea i have mom takes it and allows sis to use it and doesnt allow me
And then i spend days pushing away any jealousy because i cnt be jealous of sis 😀
"Woah what's wrong?"
How does everyone notice through the ways i messgae but no one irl can get anything?
tw
(religion related rant, mention of trouble breathing)
so uh back when i actually used to read the Quran there used to be a thing that happened that the more i read the harder it was to breath like id read the verses in my head and it would feel like a weight on my chest and like i wasnt breathing and the feeling would just increase until i wld freak out like "if i read one more verse something will happen like i cant breathe if i read more ill suffocate" so i wld stop there and once it didnt get that bad yet and i stopped for a second to try to breathe and like id just read the last verse on the page and i didnt move on to the next page yet right so i stopped to breathe and close my eyes and my chests feeling all heavy and my brain just
says the next verse
in like arabic which i dont understand arabic you know i use a translation
so i just dismiss the like thought and im like dont make up verses but it comes again and this whole arabic verse ive never learnt just starts repeating in my head and my chest is still weird so i opened my eyes and i went to the next page and i read the next verse and somehow it was exactly the same like i had guessed the next verse
so im like im 12years old so i went to mom and im like when i recite the quran i cant breathe and just now this happened that i just guessed the verse right even tho i don't know the language and mom says its a blessing from God and I'm just saying what does it mean and she just says u know God knows best
so like a week later and im avoiding the Quran and one day i start reading it again and again i cant breathe and im like is my mind playing tricks on me? so the next day i go to my Islamic teacher after class and i asked her u know this thing happens to me what does it mean u know like whats God trying to tell me here? and my islamic teacher gets so excited and she tells me im blessed and whatnot and the rest of the year shes like paying full attention to me and im still like i dont understand?
so naturally being a kid and not understanding i start getting scared like nobody gets this but when the breathing thing happened it really got worse and worse the more i read to the point where id get convinced that if i read a verse more ill di.e and everyone kept saying it was a blessing from God and im like why would God you know scare me when im reading the Quran like this?
so i start drifting away from the Quran and mom gets mad and she yells at me to read the Quran and now its been four years almost and everytime i pick up the Quran i just feel uncomfortable and sometimes it happens again that i cant breathe and i just read maybe one page and hv to put it down again and then i cnt pick it up for like a week after
so yeah religion confuses me and i try to be open to learning more about all religions but its really diificult when i cant pick up the Quran without all this.
@unassumingEyes
John writes about Jesus Christ (the Word): John 1: "In the beginning was
the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the
beginning with God. All things were made by him; and without him was not any
thing made that was made. In him was life; and the life was the light of men."
Watching my sis live the life I dream of and not want it- like I cnt be jealous cuz she's not happy either but it burns either way
We are outside for important stuff and we are waiting for our turn we hv token 170 its currently 128-
(Popping by, everyone else is asleep. Just got my result- 92%. Whatever mom says, does- im okay with it. I think i did pretty well and im glad i saw it before her this time. Love yall [you already know that, rught? ❤️])