In the Corner
Sometimes, the thoughts in my head repeat over and over and over again until I need to tell them to someone, even if noone's listening. So, this is my little corner to do that. Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts. Trigger warnings, just incase. And, @LoveMyMoonflowers, @justmeeva @DarkerPlaces and @iloveyouxx are welcome to replies. Not really comfortable with anyone else. Sorry for tagging. Be safe everyone <3
Tw no spaces
Ineedmorepeoplearoundmyageihavemy16yroldcousinbutshe’sbusyandicntgettooclosetomy14yroldmalecousinimlonelyman
Tw getting the urge to run away fr no reason lol making myself sit still like no but itd be so easy to just pack a bag-
I didnt run but thats kinda disappointing sorry
Tw yall shld prob just not with me like my brain is just...not good for u
Tw Like rn its telling me to announce that im gonna attempt and then watch everyone freak while i dont respond to anything without actually leaving/attempting and thats *** up so literally back off cuz my urges are going out of the level of just sh.
https://www.7cups.com/forum/generalsupport/General_2440/tomyself_324830/
it’s sad, isn’t it? what the world, the people have done to us? the only thing we notice is the flaws, the imperfections, everything that could be different? it’s bad, it’s wrong, but i can’t blame anyone because in reality, i’m a victim of that too.
@unassumingEyes
😛 hehe
Tw spouting nonsense
Its funny how our biggest enemy can be ourselves. You can take that in the individual sense as well as humans as a whole. Our greatest strength can be our greatest weakness in seconds. We’re our own self destruct button. We’re here to hurt, heal and repeat. Hope, despair and repeat.
Love, lose and repeat.
We’re unrelenting in both our pain and our love.
Our greatest weakness. Our greatest strength.
Our pain. Our love.
Its all the same. We’re all the same. We’re all so different.
Love. Lose. Repeat.
I do want to learn. I do want to know whats in my stupid history notes and how stupid physics works and why we need stupid theorems in maths but i want to do it in my own oace, without being compared to average and below average and above average and told no child of my mothers will be anything but above average and that i have exams in 3 weeks and that my sister did great and i have to do better even tho she was in a different board and has way better memory and i just
i just want time
Tw-
an explanation is required, i think. So-
✨Cruel Thoughts✨
one- apparently, they were triggered! I didnt realize till today but yesterday, i went to sr and saw someone who ive seen be mean etc twice before there, and they said hi and everyone else (including sm frnds) in sr started saying hi so i felt kinda trapped and responded and got caught in the convo abit but i also felt a flash of anger at that person and then bam! Thoughts.
(Thats the first time, ive ever noticed a potential trigger)
two- cruel thoughts- recent development. Why? I think its a weird coping thing. Power thing maybe. A sort of “i can hurt others too” i really dont like it tho.
three- ive never done what the thoughts told me to. I got rlly close last night (to pretending that id tw attempt) but instead i typed it out and the urge lessened/
four- I know i shldnt push anyone away, but i cldnt help but putting the choice out there. That you can leave. That you dont have to stay.
(I know that ppl who feel like they have to wont change their minds on reading this.
but maybe its better for those who do change their minds to get away)
Anyways, I am sorry i tried to push yall away. Isolation is not a smart choice. I know this, because a large part of me knows alot of things related to my problems or actions. I just have trouble applying them to me. It’s hard to love yourself. Alot of what I do is for me, but its not…gentle to me. And i think the lines get kinda muddy and unclear. Sometimes i feel like i dont deserve the support i get here, that others need it more. But pain is incomparable. I say it so much to others, i just need to see it myself. Pain is incomparable. And its not really fair that I tried to push yall away when i wld never leave yall myself. so, heres my sorta apology for that, i guess.
I could really do with a therapist, but its whatever.
Uh today i found out my exams will be from 26 march till 5 may. Thats really long but uk. Yeah
@unassumingEyes
eyes love we’re not here because we have to. a friendship isn’t forced, a good one isn’t, and ours is good. we’re here because we want to. we choose to. that’s what friends are for - it’s much easier to get through hard times when you know you’re not alone. your thoughts and your feelings aren’t your fault and i understand that. i’ll stay with you, no matter what ❤️