In the Corner

The Sun is shining, the Universe

Is singing through twinkling stars,

You'll hear its rhythm in chirping birds,

Chattering humans, and honking cars

And broken worlds

And healing scars

You'll find its rhythm

In what you are 

@unassumingEyes

i like this :0

@justmeeva thank youu <3 thats the 4th poem today wow :0

Imma sleep now~ 

Gnnn

@unassumingEyes

goodnight 💕

I kinda feel better. Like myself? Even tho rn is a hard time so i probably shld be feeling worse lol

I think this diary thingy is working. The thoughts dont repeat too long? Like, it can be anything small as "Im going to do biology" that can repeat over and over again till 90% of my brain says "Im going to do biology" and i kinda need to tell smone but if i say it late then telling smone leaves me feeling empty and unsatisfied? Idk

But now I just type it out here when it starts and then get back to my life =D i think its helping. I kinda wanna play chess after an year of not wanting to aswell :0 

Some peice in this puzzle we call life is falling into place, I think :0

@LoveMyMoonflowers

7 feb, flowers. The flight, i mean. Thanks for talking btw. 

@unassumingEyes

awwe :') *huggies if okay*

@LoveMyMoonflowers *hugss*

The universe has a funny way of saying “I think you’re strong’

It makes you prove, that it isn’t wrong. 

I might have to take smth for the headache

@unassumingEyes

sending healing beams 💕 if okay 💕 

@LoveMyMoonflowers ofcourse. Thank you love <3

@unassumingEyes

mhm 💕 your welcome 💙

Sorry Im a bit low these days

@unassumingEyes

it’s okie to have our low days. 💜 life is hard :') and things can get messy. 💙 we’re here with you 💜 

@LoveMyMoonflowers I know 🥹 Thank you <3

@unassumingEyes

*huggie wuggies if okie*

@LoveMyMoonflowers *hugs*

So many ppl on here offering me hugs today :0 people here so nice

I think i may hv tw OCD. Or just some symptoms? Idk. How do ppl know this stuff? How do u even get diagnosed? "Hey mom, i want to get tested for OCD"

...Who even makes the diagnosis-?

Tw for...ignorance- 

Besides, if OCD = neat then nvm-

@unassumingEyes

i think getting a diagnosis might begin with speaking to a doctor about it? :o and they can refer you to the right people. 💙 i’m not sure though 😅 

it’s okay to suspect some things 💜 and to look over symptoms and be like ‘hey i relate with this a bit’ 💙 that’s okay. your not alone.

it’s okay to take things slowly - one day at a time 💕

@unassumingEyes all online tests say i do, but i know those arent diagnosis so thats not a confirmation lol just food for thought

@unassumingEyes i dont even want to "treat" it or whatever. Just want to know if i hv it then proceed to live as before lol

@unassumingEyes

hehe, that’s okay, i understand that. oftentimes diagnoses can help us understand more about ourselves 💜 

@unassumingEyes

it depends on where the online test is from 💜 but there are some good sites out there who give… idk what they’re called - screenings (?) so you can check how likely you are to have X or Y. 💙 it helps people know whether they should see a professional or not 💜 

@LoveMyMoonflowers Yeah they’re screenings. Idk. I know I cant possibly get a diagnosis for it unless my parents suspect and decide to themselves— there’s no convincing them, I mean. They’ll think I’m copying others, or smth. So I’ll just, you know, keep researching and stuffs, and if I still hv these symptoms when Im an adult, I might get it checked.

i don’t know if there are, uh, therapists? Psychologists? In the country Im moving too. I mean, there must be, but expensive.

@unassumingEyes

awwe :') i understand that. would your parents allow you to speak to a doctor - at least? 💙

@LoveMyMoonflowers um, basically, according to my mom, people who hv any disorder or anything are valid and deserve love. But none of her children can have it becase shes their mother so ofcourse we dont :0

im honestly too scared to even ask-

Oof. That’s tough T^T i’m so sorry. ): *offers gentle hugs* 

i get the being scared of asking part. your not alone in that 

@LoveMyMoonflowers thank you lovely <3 

Watch my poetry get worse the more upset i get

"You're worried about what the future holds,

I'm a paper trying to endure more than 7 folds" 

^ those two verses?

Awful

Oof

Im running on autopilot, where i basically tell myself to be upset after hard thing X is over, and when its over everyones so happy i feel like its a bad time to get upset, and dont lol

During packing

Mom : stay outta the way

Also Mom : glares at me for not helping

?????? 

Im just gonna cups and study at this point

:[ 

@unassumingEyes

*cupses with you* 🩷

@unassumingEyes

*but more in a few hours bc school :/*

@justmeeva oof school :0 

@unassumingEyes

yeaah but at least it’s friday :D

@justmeeva hehe =D

Its gonna be our last week before exams so probably noones gonna cm to school :0 

@unassumingEyes they asked me to help and apparently I was holding the cling wrap "wrong" :0 

Then i pretended to fix it and they were satisfied

I literally changed nothing :0

@unassumingEyes

whattt