In the Corner
Sometimes, the thoughts in my head repeat over and over and over again until I need to tell them to someone, even if noone's listening. So, this is my little corner to do that. Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts. Trigger warnings, just incase. And, @LoveMyMoonflowers, @justmeeva @DarkerPlaces and @iloveyouxx are welcome to replies. Not really comfortable with anyone else. Sorry for tagging. Be safe everyone <3
I just did 22 short qs and 9 long qs of physics :0
Im scared of my "friend"
Tbh smtimes im scared of my sister too.
@unassumingEyes
D: why’re you scared of them ? what happened :< ( no pressure if you don feel like sharing) I don’t think friends are meant to be scary :’3🤍
@iloveyouxx when my sis gets angry she gets this look in her eyes that makes me think she cld do anything and she wldnt be able to stop herself.
Smtimes i think smday she will do smth.
Ill talk about my frnd in another post cming up-
@unassumingEyes
too late- Tw :’3 wouldn’t read lol- :’3
oof- that sounds so scary 😥 I have a look like that tbh- :’3 I’m nice I promise tho 😭 I wouldn’t do anything ever- but I have it on when I’m just empty and feel like screaming and breaking down and everything too much but I can’t react :3 so I get that broken empty and possibly threatening look- I’ve been accidentally aggressively rolling my eyes at ppl :’3 but I don’t mean it :< I feel bad- it’s automatic and smiling at that time takes a lot of energy :’3 I’ve literally been starting to do this⇒
hooman: * looks at me*
me: * aggressively rolls eyes and looks so annoyed” “..no no sorry sorry !”
..😀
I used to always smile at people- even my bullies, like eveyroneeee, but now I just give them dirty looks and apologize right away as if it wasn’t in my control- well it feels like it’s not, I should stop talking😁 but lol if you ever saw a 14 year old girl that looks 11 aggressively staring at you for no reason 😌:’3 know she doesn’t mean it :’D
tag me in your post btw :0 if you want heh- imma stop talking :’3 also I’ll be back- byebye🩷
@iloveyouxx i think theres a difference tho. No offense- i get what ur saying. But u feel...as u described.
My sisters eyes dont shine annoyance.
They shine *tw* hatred
@unassumingEyes
yeah I get it- :’3 does she say anything ? after giving that look-
So my "friend" is like generally really really rude and stuffs.
She like jumps into everyones personal bubbles, disrupts class lectures not bcz of an issue but on purpose and yells in our ears etc but thats just *annoying* not *bad*
What she says is bad.
To me, its really, really bad.
I mention sm examples in replies. Tw for anyone going there.
We had a whatsapp grp of all friends with her init. After discussion with all my friends we sent a polite msg in the grp and removed her. All of us agreed on this decision.
She didnt get the idea.
For a few days she kept her dustance frm us. Then she was back and back and back .
Tw
My friend (a diff on) diagnosed (not claiming, actually diagnosed!) With ADHD
And she? Argues with ny frnd that she doesnt hv it despite the diagnosis.
Touches my hair when I say no.
A close frnd of ours, but specifically close to me, moved to UK. She thinks i dont keep contact with that frnd tho i do. She tells me about the frnd that moved while carefully watching me for a reaction
And then what she says.
Makes my blood boil. Again, TW
See replies.
@unassumingEyes Tw again. Idk it really bothers me what she says so i dont want anyone else to get upset. Be safe lovelies.
What my "frnd" says: (not exactly word to word)
- "Honestly? You know how to solve over-population? (Unalive) the grandparents. Theyre old anyways. Like i get ur close to them and my grandparents are (unalive) so i never met them but seriously. Theyre old. Just flick em off"
- "I just want to put chlorine in the toilet. If any girl goes there and (unalives) its her fault for being dumb enough to enter a bathroom stall with yellow gas."
- Thinking smone in our class was racist (they werent) : "You're racist?! Yayy me too!!"
That's just...sm of them...
@unassumingEyes
omg that’s so messed up-
i wouldn’t get too close to them :’3
but your choice ofc :’3🤍
@iloveyouxx
I dont hv a choice nadia lovely. My other frnds are like family frnds to her. I cmt get away frm her until they do, and they cnt get away frm her until their parents do.
Shes my "friend" bcz im stuck with her. Only good thing bout my moving is that im leaving her behind.
She talks about how she wants to (tw) do a school shooting just for fun.
I hope she doesnt hurt anyone.
God i hate her smtimes.
@unassumingEyes
um ok she’s creepy :’D I’m glad you’re getting away from her soon- just the other things she said are kinda- :// Tw but I’ve known someone that planned to (un -alive) me and a lot of others, but they had serious mental problems so guess that’s different-
@unassumingEyes
oml that’s terrible- i have no idea what she has going on in her life or if it’s some weird attention seeking thing but that’s actually psycho behaviour- someone needs to teach that kid how to be respectful and stay out of others’ personal spaces and keep her thoughts to herself and be a normal human being- no hate but i think i hate her and i would probably teach her some lessons myself if i had to. i’m impressed that you’ve managed to put up with her for so long
lol sorry if it’s a bit aggressive-
@justmeeva
lolll dw it’s sensible heh :3
@justmeeva eva she has atention problems.
(Tw) abusive mom and 3 siblings so she doesnt get much attention at home
But that doesnt excuse whatever this all is. Whatever she is
I out up with her because i hv to.
The worst thing is she keeps saying she looks up to me. Shes "inspired" by me. Shes "so glad and unworthy to be my friend"
Just... ugh
@unassumingEyes
oof that’s a tough situation- it’s just the part about the grandparents 😭 “they’re old anyway” like no :’3and the racist thing- and well all of them tbh :’3 I feel bad about what she goes through tho- i feel like I can connect them a bit but not an excuse really-
@iloveyouxx yeah i feel the same way. Im in a messed up position, being stuck with her and feeling bad fr her and hating her at the same time
And she repeated the grandparents thing more than once. I use the "i inspire her" thing she claims to tw shut her up when it gets bad. Sorry. That was aggresive.
@unassumingEyes
it was nothing but valid eyes lovely dw, and i agree to it all
I feel awful
@unassumingEyes
>: * sits w ni and eyes* :’3🩷
@iloveyouxx
sending huggle wuggles for Nadia if okay 💜 we’re grateful for your supportive presence here 💙
@LoveMyMoonflowers @iloveyouxx
Yeah....thanks fr everything nadia lovely. And u too flowers <3
@LoveMyMoonflowers
awwww；∀；)🩷🥹 you’re the sweetest🩷 thank you for always noticing me heh :’3🤍 I appreciate you vv much💜 and I’m grateful for your presence at all :0🩷
@iloveyouxx
💙💙💙
@unassumingEyes
*sits with you* 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers hey flowers.
I wanna cry
@unassumingEyes
*hugs you if okay* it’s okay to cry 💙 we’re here with you 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers *hugs* i didnt cry.
@unassumingEyes
*keeps hugging* 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Sorry for disappearing a few hours earlier :0
@unassumingEyes
hehe, dw, it’s okie
The Sun is shining, the Universe
Is singing through twinkling stars,
You'll hear its rhythm in chirping birds,
Chattering humans, and honking cars
And broken worlds
And healing scars
You'll find its rhythm
In what you are
I kinda feel better. Like myself? Even tho rn is a hard time so i probably shld be feeling worse lol
I think this diary thingy is working. The thoughts dont repeat too long? Like, it can be anything small as "Im going to do biology" that can repeat over and over again till 90% of my brain says "Im going to do biology" and i kinda need to tell smone but if i say it late then telling smone leaves me feeling empty and unsatisfied? Idk
But now I just type it out here when it starts and then get back to my life =D i think its helping. I kinda wanna play chess after an year of not wanting to aswell :0
Some peice in this puzzle we call life is falling into place, I think :0
@LoveMyMoonflowers
7 feb, flowers. The flight, i mean. Thanks for talking btw.