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In The Gloaming TW *just in case*

mytwistedsoul November 7th, 2019

With the tragic loss of the feed and after much debate and discussion. It's been decided to create a new thread. Soul space so to speak. A journal of sorts.

A place where I can dump some of the nonsense that goes on in my head.

While replies are welcome - they aren't necessary.

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mytwistedsoul OP November 16th, 2023

can see the space 

the halls and places that broke a soul

it calls when we're numb and alone

take it slow

keeping track

mark the days

silence spaced by occasions where lips scream

it's an all or nothin' place

it settles when she says so

then I can't say no

resting now

is that what you tell yourself?

it's never enough

maybe you think too much

maybe I don't want you to know

you see

you can't see

we're fallin from the top story

think we'll bounce when we

hit the surface

🐾





2 replies
amiableBunny4016 November 16th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

absolutely beautiful and heart wrenching💜every line touched my heart! thank you for sharing this

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP November 16th, 2023

@amiableBunny4016 hi! ty 😊

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mytwistedsoul OP November 16th, 2023

got a moo 😊 🐾

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4 replies
amiableBunny4016 November 16th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

aww! 

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1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP November 16th, 2023

@amiableBunny4016 her ears don't wiggle like ur moo 😊

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LoveMyMoonflowers November 16th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

awweee that’s so adorableee 🥺

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP November 16th, 2023

@LoveMyMoonflowers 😊

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mytwistedsoul OP November 16th, 2023

her name is Deja 😊

3 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers November 16th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

awwe <3 i love that hehe 

2 replies
mytwistedsoul OP November 16th, 2023

@LoveMyMoonflowers 😊 Deja Moo 😂

1 reply
LoveMyMoonflowers November 16th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

😭🤣 that’s cute and funny at the same time 🤭🤭 I love it 

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selflessSpruce1515 November 18th, 2023

soulllllllll 💖 its been so long since ive reached out, and i wanted to see how moi amazing friendsie issssss 😊

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mytwistedsoul OP November 18th, 2023

Just had to make the hardest phone call. Today we say goodbye to our girl. 

6 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers November 18th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

*hugs soul buddy if okay* 😞💙🫂

2 replies
mytwistedsoul OP November 18th, 2023

@LoveMyMoonflowers Thank you 😞 this is so hard

1 reply
LoveMyMoonflowers November 18th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

I know… 😞 *big squeezies* 💜 

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adventurousBranch3786 November 18th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul. Sorry to hear it 💜.

amiableBunny4016 November 18th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

I am so sorry to hear about your loss soul 💙 sending you and your family so much love. 💙 we are here for you. take your time. be gentle with yourself 💙 

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Sunisshiningandsoareyou November 19th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul 

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mytwistedsoul OP November 23rd, 2023

open the door 

slow it down

this cold room

will hold you now

suddenly sent below

surrounded by shadows

it’s hard to breath when everything hurts

drowning in darkness 

take a breath at the bottom 

lungs are heavy and they weigh me down

blackness spreads to my eyes

it soaks in

write on walls

look around

no way to plan 

how do you plan when your mind full of sounds

take all the pain

hide it inside your brain

do you feel all alone in the crowd?

are you ascared of the dark?

sorry can't leave now

don’t breath 

might've seen this before

stalling

can’t quite say that it's alright now

it’s too quiet 

can’t find solid ground

without warning stuck in this dimension 

I don’t trust it

the senses I’m left with don't give a direction

lost in a pool filled with ink from my own hand

I open my eyes up to silence

there’s no where left for to hide 

feeling alone but made it home


mytwistedsoul OP November 25th, 2023

@LoveMyMoonflowers @adventurousBranch3786 @amiableBunny4016 @Sunisshiningandsoareyou

Wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts and kindness.

                       TW

Unfortunately I wish the bad news would have ended there. Currently father is on hospice and has but a few days left.

When it rains it pours. 

3 replies
adventurousBranch3786 November 25th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul. I’m sorry to hear it ❤️.

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slowdecline48 December 13th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul This is way late but I'm d***ed sorry to hear about it... Losing a parent is never easy for most of us. I wasn't close to my mother by the time she died & it was still difficult. You are in my thoughts.

2 replies
mytwistedsoul OP December 14th, 2023

@slowdecline48 Thank you so much. I'm sorry for your loss too. We had just started to reconnect before he got sick. Did it all seem so complicated to you? The grieving? I wonder at times if there's too much grief for someone I hardly knew but then I wonder if I'm not grieving enough. And I keep hearing that everyone grieves differently - so idk. None of it seems real yet. Thank you it helps that you said it difficult for alot of people. Guess I just have to figure how to work through it

*Sorry - rambling* 😅

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Optimisticempath November 25th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul *squeezie you tightly and doesn't let go* 🥺

me wish me could stop the pouring but since it no possible 😔 me sitting with you through the rains Soul 💕

2 replies
mytwistedsoul OP November 25th, 2023

@Optimisticempath *squeezes back* Thank you for being here and sitting in the rain with me ❤️❤️

LoveMyMoonflowers November 25th, 2023

@Optimisticempath @mytwistedsoul

*sits with you and milky bear* 😞💜

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intelligentWheel627 November 25th, 2023

My dearest Soul, I'm heartbroken to hear the news. I'm so sorry. I can't find the right words as usual, I never know what to say. Its difficult to see you like this but I know that it is much more difficult for you to go through all this. Sending you a calm white floating fluff, a caring healing hug. I don't know if it helps. Maybe, if you prefer, we can quietly hide under the invisibility cloak until the darkness passes. Please be gentle with yourself, Soul. ❤

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP November 30th, 2023

@intelligentWheel627 You're always so sweet Rinny ❤️ I think your words were perfect. I've been holding tightly to the calm white fluff hug you sent and I send back to you a rose colored one to match your beautiful heart. Maybe we can keep that invisibility cloak handy - just in case? ❤️ Much love to you Rinny and thank you for the reminder to be gentle ❤️

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intelligentWheel627 December 2nd, 2023

@mytwistedsoul You are a beautiful person. Thank you for your kindness and for the rose hug. I keep it close to me and squeeze it ever so often. ❤ I'm sorry about your dad, Soul. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for you. I give you a very strong, most comforting hug that lasts for as long as you need. The cape is ready too of course, should you decide to use it. Please let me know if I can help in any other way. I mean it. I haven't been much of a friend while knitting the stupid scarf in the closet and fighting my own demons but I'm here now if you let me. I want to be here for you Soul. ❤ Lots of love from me and Karu sends you his cuddles as well. ❤ 

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP December 5th, 2023

@intelligentWheel627 Rinny ❤️ you're so sweet. I can't thank you enough for your words and your's and Karu's hugs. You've been a wonderful friend Rinny. I understand that you're fighting your demons and I admire you for that ❤️❤️ Lots of love to you and sweet Karu too ❤️

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intelligentWheel627 December 12th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul I brought you some chocolate chip cookies. 🍪🍪🍪 They are delicious with a cup of coffee. ☕☕ We could sit and chat or just munch in silence and look outside. I imagine that the view is beautifully gentle and snowy. 

I think of you often, Soul. I worry. I still don't know how to help so I just keep sending you lots and lots of love until you'll shout, "Enough!" ❤❤❤😛❤❤❤ An unlimited pile of hugs is also ready for you, of all shapes and sizes, whenever you need. ❤💕🤗💕❤ 

 

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP December 14th, 2023

@intelligentWheel627 Chocolate chip cookies and coffee with you sounds wonderful ❤️ I'm afraid there's no snow. We get alittle and then it warms up and melts


I don't want you to worry ok? I don't think there's much to do to help. But I can't tell you how much it means that you want to. The fact that you're here reminds me that someone that cares. Thank you for being here. Thank you for sending all the love and I'm currently hiding under the pile of hugs because it's so HUGE 😊 It really really means a lot. Lots of love to you and Karu too ❤️❤️❤️
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LoveMyMoonflowers November 28th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

hey soul 💙 you’ve been in my thoughts. me knows life is really tough right now... 😞 and i’m so sorry… me hopes you know we are here for you, and that we love you all and care about you all. i’m sending big warm huggles your way and lots of love 💜 

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how are you feeling today buddy? 🥺💕

2 replies
mytwistedsoul OP November 30th, 2023

@LoveMyMoonflowers Thank you so much Moon 💙 I think sometimes I forget that there are people who care and are here 💙

I'm tired lol. Alot of traveling between places. I was staying closer to the hospital but came home yesterday for an appointment. To top it off I've caught a cold. Probably picked it up from the hospital - go figure lol

Much love to you Moon 💙 Thank you for the hugs and the thoughts. It means a lot to me - you mean alot to me 💙

1 reply
LoveMyMoonflowers November 30th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

me understand 💙 but we’re always here to remind you (': that we do care 💜 me, bunny, opti, sun and so many other lovely hoomans 🌈 we care. 

travelling can definitely make one tired (': i hear you 💙 awwe no i’m so sorry to hear you’ve got a cold now 😞 me sending healing beams and warm hugs your way if okie 🌈 colds aren’t fun at all 🤧 i’m so sorry ): 

thank you so much 💜 i really do appreciate that 💕 sending much love right back atcha 🥺💕 you mean a lot to me as well - not even exaggerating (':

i’m always here if you need me okie? whether that means a listening ear or just someone to sit with you 🫂💙 

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