In The Gloaming TW *just in case*
With the tragic loss of the feed and after much debate and discussion. It's been decided to create a new thread. Soul space so to speak. A journal of sorts.
A place where I can dump some of the nonsense that goes on in my head.
While replies are welcome - they aren't necessary.
@mytwistedsoul- the box with "bad memories- do not open" caught my eye this morning. How true.
the pain remains
reconstruct this brain
only ourselves to blame
hours days weeks months
we pay the price
these scars won't fade
nothing left to say
the blood won't coagulate
darkness rising
deeper then before
it swallowed us whole
there's no control
it pokes through the skin
spits out bone
the Wolf is hiding within
we are not alone
be still
one more break
beneath the skin
will finally make you whole
😬 nervous 🐾
@mytwistedsoul
hey..
@sunshinegiraffe123 😶
@mytwistedsoul
😭
@sunshinegiraffe123 😲 🚫 😭
@mytwistedsoul
hey you good morning
@sunshinegiraffe123 Hey :) good morning to you too
@mytwistedsoul
hugs . I'm posting my poems again.
@sunshinegiraffe123 Hey that's great! :)
@mytwistedsoul
are you up
@sunshinegiraffe123 Sorry about that I tried to reply earlier but I had no button to add a post *smh*
@mytwistedsoul
Smh, I couldn't sleep.. and I don't think I'm sleeping tonight either
@sunshinegiraffe123 Oh :( That sucks. Do you have things to do when you have nights like that?
@mytwistedsoul
No.. I I it doesn't normally occur
@sunshinegiraffe123 Did something have you upset? Or maybe something was on your mind?
@mytwistedsoul
Something had/has me upset yeah
@sunshinegiraffe123 Would you like to talk about it? No pressure of course
@mytwistedsoul
I wish I was on the oldies side, as scared as I am. The new commods don't understand me
@sunshinegiraffe123 There's been alot of changes with the people who mod and do things around here. It's got to be frustrating for you because you were having trouble with them before and you tried to explain but still had problems with the mods :( I'm sorry to hear its happening again
@mytwistedsoul
I don't mind the mods.. but there's some issues going on. And I always seem to be the one. Happens to on the teen side.
I should be the test subject for all mods and commods
@sunshinegiraffe123 Sometimes I feel that way too - that it's allways me - which sucks. Have you tried explaining to them nvm - I bet you did. People need to have more opened minds and not be so set on making sure everyone fits into the box they have
@mytwistedsoul
people said it's not because of me or being on the spectrum but rather it's the neurodiverse people here who can't understand the neurodiverse people and those who can't accept that others are different.
@sunshinegiraffe123 Wow that would be frustrating. So what do you do? I mean - what can be done so that people understand that everyone is different?
@mytwistedsoul
Host a session which I'm doing later this week and refer to my guide.
@sunshinegiraffe123 WOW! You're gonna host a chat? Allie thats so awesome! I hope it helps you and anyone else who needs to be better understood
@mytwistedsoul
Yeah I am gonna co-host
@sunshinegiraffe123 That's great! I bet you do good too!
@mytwistedsoul
Hey
@sunshinegiraffe123 what's up?
@mytwistedsoul
I couldn't sleep
@sunshinegiraffe123 Were you able to get any? Maybe later you can just lay down for alittle and rest? Even if you don't sleep you're still taking some time to rest :)
@mytwistedsoul
Yeah from 1-7:30 still tired ...
@sunshinegiraffe123 Maybe try to lay back down for alittle bit and doze? Are you nervous about co-hosting?
@mytwistedsoul
No I'm just scared..
@sunshinegiraffe123 Its ok to be scared :) I think you'll do great though. You know some of the people who will join in and its for something good that will help people understand better
@mytwistedsoul
Also scared in general
@sunshinegiraffe123 Ah - ok. Do you know what has you feeling that way? Its ok if you don't - I feel that way alot of times too and sometimes I have no idea why. Does it help you to say outloud that you're safe? Lack of sleep can add to it too
@mytwistedsoul
I kinda do.. and yeah that helps but I'm stuck in my room today
@sunshinegiraffe123 Stuck inside your room? That doesn't sound good to be stuck inside :(
@mytwistedsoul
Well i try and leave and then I get anxious
@sunshinegiraffe123 Maybe holding something that comforts you would help? Do you have a favorite stuffed animal? Or if one of your parents is there - maybe they could walk with you and sit with you for alittle?
@mytwistedsoul
Its just hard
@sunshinegiraffe123 It is :( may I ask what has you afraid to leave your room? Its ok if you'd rather not share. Is it just too much today?
@mytwistedsoul
Just too much, and i get anxious whenever I try to.
@sunshinegiraffe123 on days like that I wear a hoodie and sun glasses. Sounds weird I guess but the sun glasses help with if its too bright and the hoodie helps hide some of what's around and helps to kind of hide. But that's just what works here
@mytwistedsoul
it's been a rough day
@sunshinegiraffe123 I'm sorry its been a rough day. Hopefully today will be a better day
@mytwistedsoul
Hopefully. Two higher admins messaged me and I gave them more detail on the one issue that's been going on but I still feel lost.