In The Gloaming TW *just in case*
With the tragic loss of the feed and after much debate and discussion. It's been decided to create a new thread. Soul space so to speak. A journal of sorts.
A place where I can dump some of the nonsense that goes on in my head.
While replies are welcome - they aren't necessary.
@mytwistedsoul- the box with "bad memories- do not open" caught my eye this morning. How true.
the pain remains
reconstruct this brain
only ourselves to blame
hours days weeks months
we pay the price
these scars won't fade
nothing left to say
the blood won't coagulate
darkness rising
deeper then before
it swallowed us whole
there's no control
it pokes through the skin
spits out bone
the Wolf is hiding within
we are not alone
be still
one more break
beneath the skin
will finally make you whole
😬 nervous 🐾
@mytwistedsoul
hey..
@sunshinegiraffe123 😶
@mytwistedsoul
😭
@sunshinegiraffe123 😲 🚫 😭
@mytwistedsoul
hey you good morning
@sunshinegiraffe123 Hey :) good morning to you too
@mytwistedsoul
hugs . I'm posting my poems again.
@sunshinegiraffe123 Hey that's great! :)
@mytwistedsoul
are you up
@sunshinegiraffe123 Sorry about that I tried to reply earlier but I had no button to add a post *smh*
@mytwistedsoul
Smh, I couldn't sleep.. and I don't think I'm sleeping tonight either
@sunshinegiraffe123 Oh :( That sucks. Do you have things to do when you have nights like that?
@mytwistedsoul
No.. I I it doesn't normally occur
@sunshinegiraffe123 Did something have you upset? Or maybe something was on your mind?
@mytwistedsoul
Something had/has me upset yeah
@sunshinegiraffe123 Would you like to talk about it? No pressure of course
@mytwistedsoul
I wish I was on the oldies side, as scared as I am. The new commods don't understand me
@sunshinegiraffe123 There's been alot of changes with the people who mod and do things around here. It's got to be frustrating for you because you were having trouble with them before and you tried to explain but still had problems with the mods :( I'm sorry to hear its happening again
@mytwistedsoul
I don't mind the mods.. but there's some issues going on. And I always seem to be the one. Happens to on the teen side.
I should be the test subject for all mods and commods
@sunshinegiraffe123 Sometimes I feel that way too - that it's allways me - which sucks. Have you tried explaining to them nvm - I bet you did. People need to have more opened minds and not be so set on making sure everyone fits into the box they have
@mytwistedsoul
people said it's not because of me or being on the spectrum but rather it's the neurodiverse people here who can't understand the neurodiverse people and those who can't accept that others are different.
@sunshinegiraffe123 Wow that would be frustrating. So what do you do? I mean - what can be done so that people understand that everyone is different?
@mytwistedsoul
Host a session which I'm doing later this week and refer to my guide.
@sunshinegiraffe123 WOW! You're gonna host a chat? Allie thats so awesome! I hope it helps you and anyone else who needs to be better understood
@mytwistedsoul
Yeah I am gonna co-host
@sunshinegiraffe123 That's great! I bet you do good too!
@mytwistedsoul
Hey
@sunshinegiraffe123 what's up?
@mytwistedsoul
I couldn't sleep
@sunshinegiraffe123 Were you able to get any? Maybe later you can just lay down for alittle and rest? Even if you don't sleep you're still taking some time to rest :)
@mytwistedsoul
Yeah from 1-7:30 still tired ...
@sunshinegiraffe123 Maybe try to lay back down for alittle bit and doze? Are you nervous about co-hosting?
@mytwistedsoul
No I'm just scared..
@sunshinegiraffe123 Its ok to be scared :) I think you'll do great though. You know some of the people who will join in and its for something good that will help people understand better
@mytwistedsoul
Also scared in general
@sunshinegiraffe123 Ah - ok. Do you know what has you feeling that way? Its ok if you don't - I feel that way alot of times too and sometimes I have no idea why. Does it help you to say outloud that you're safe? Lack of sleep can add to it too
@mytwistedsoul
I kinda do.. and yeah that helps but I'm stuck in my room today
@sunshinegiraffe123 Stuck inside your room? That doesn't sound good to be stuck inside :(
@mytwistedsoul
Well i try and leave and then I get anxious
@sunshinegiraffe123 Maybe holding something that comforts you would help? Do you have a favorite stuffed animal? Or if one of your parents is there - maybe they could walk with you and sit with you for alittle?
@mytwistedsoul
Its just hard
@sunshinegiraffe123 It is :( may I ask what has you afraid to leave your room? Its ok if you'd rather not share. Is it just too much today?
@mytwistedsoul
Just too much, and i get anxious whenever I try to.
Whats with the - your post was saved - thank you for contributing to the community box thing?
@mytwistedsoul
Not sure I'm also getting it . Maybe a glitch
@mytwistedsoul
im also getting it
@mytwistedsoul Censors maybe? To make sure we're being good little boys and girls?
@mytwistedsoul LOL! It tagged me for my own post
@mytwistedsoul Lol it did
@mytwistedsoul- wonder if it is a new thing- feels redundant.
@barncat I think it is a new thing. I couldn't post anything for awhile this morning. So I'm thinking that's when they put it in effect. Um - there's alot of redundant things around here 😁
@barncat
Nice to see you around
@mytwistedsoul
I'm getting the same box thing , have to click it before it posts messages. Also I can't vote up messages now.
@lazyKatz I thought maybe I was imagining the upvotes disappearing! If you reply to a thread that you haven't been to before it doesn't automatically subscribe you to it either. But I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing lol
@mytwistedsoul
I'm not sure of anything that's happening on here at the moment, some warning beforehand would be useful. I don't know about you but I don't cope well with change however immaterial it might appear to the powers that be!
@lazyKatz
Nice to see you around, and I don't cope well with change either. However, if this is the only thing admin does, then I guess I'll accept it. Still need to talk to admin about other things on the teen side sadly
@lazyKatz- I understand how you feel about adapting to change. Reading and commenting on the forums here is one of the soothing parts in my life.
@barncat
This site offers so much and the mere thought of it disappearing is hard to handle. Maybe I worry too much but it hard to change who we are.
@lazyKatz
Its okay. This will become normal soon.
@barncat
👍
Hi.
I’m not sure if I’m doing this correctly, I haven’t really ever used this app much. Last night my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me and it makes zero sense to me. I’m sure a lot of people say this but he genuinely is a great person. Like nothing went wrong but he’s just feeling unhappy. It’s almost harder that I can’t be angry with him. He’s been so supportive and even talked to me for hours in the middle of the night last night and helped me through panic this morning. I don’t want to rely on him too much and I don’t want to make him feel even more guilty because I know he’s hurting too. I just don’t know what to do or how to handle any of this. I’m almost 27 and up until yesterday I truly thought we were going to get married. I’ve had shitty relationships and this was just not one of them. I keep thinking that maybe he’ll miss me and once he figures things out we’ll work it out, but I don’t want to get my hopes up. I just need help coping. I feel like my world is crashing down on me.
@Smantz Hey :) Sounds like you're in a really tough spot right now. I wish I had some words of wisdom or something to offer you. Tbh - I'm not too good with relationships. Hell I can't even keep friends
Maybe you both just need time - marriage is a pretty big step to take and may be he just needs some time to make sure he's ready for that step ? I wish you both the best of luck and hope that things work out for both of you
@mytwistedsoul
You can keep friends
Gary Numan - My Name Is Ruin
https://youtu.be/lHomCiPFknY
@mytwistedsoul- hard to decide which one I love/hate the most of these. They are all worth a barrel of laughs. Thanks for my Monday giggles.
This was at the store awhile ago lol - I had forgot all about it
Only around here lol
@mytwistedsoul
👍
@mytwistedsoul
Chicken Lickin'!!! 😂
@ThePizza Nothing like a nice normal name LOL!
@mytwistedsoul
I also like the name Kylo Hen :)
@ThePizza I need to get chickens. So many names lol!
@mytwistedsoul
Bawk bawk
@sunshinegiraffe123 🐔 🐓
@mytwistedsoul
hug?
@sunshinegiraffe123 *hug* you doing ok?
@mytwistedsoul
Kinda
That really brightened my day! Thank you for that! 🤩
@Nerdtastic 😁 kinda makes me want a velosorapter lol
@mytwistedsoul
Dinosaurs 🦕?!?
@sunshinegiraffe123 😁 of course! You want one too? Lol!
@mytwistedsoul
Sure!
@sunshinegiraffe123
@mytwistedsoul
awwww
@mytwistedsoul
So cute!!!!
@Nerdtastic
@mytwistedsoul
Eww school starts on Tuesday
@sunshinegiraffe123 ew is right. Seems like summer started not too long ago. Hard to believe it's soon Sept
@mytwistedsoul
I dissocated and now I have lots of questions ...
@sunshinegiraffe123 questions about what?
@mytwistedsoul
Space, aliens, ufos..
Dealing with my ex's father as well..
@sunshinegiraffe123 oh wow - cool things to question - not so cool about the ex's father
@mytwistedsoul
Hes annoying
@sunshinegiraffe123 I'm sorry he's annoying. Annoying people are hard to deal with - can you just avoid him?
@mytwistedsoul
Kinda
@sunshinegiraffe123 It still has to be hard to deal with though
@mytwistedsoul
It is . And his sons making rules and being controlling
@sunshinegiraffe123 Oh wow - that's really hard to deal with when people want to make the rules and try to control our behavior. It makes you feel like you can't be in charge of your own life and then have to answer for everything you do or don't do - depending on the circumstances. When people try to control everything it feels as though nothing you do is ever right :( I'm really sorry you have to deal with that. I know when that happens to me it makes the anxiety so bad because it's like you have to be on guard all the time
@mytwistedsoul
Soo I ended up leaving him today upon finding out his age and that he wanted more . His father threw a fit about me leaving but he knew it wasn't right. His father told m I'm trash and I treat people like trash though
@sunshinegiraffe123 I hope you're ok. You know those things aren't true dont you?
@mytwistedsoul
Nlt really
@sunshinegiraffe123 People say things when they upset or angry and sometimes they say things to hurt and upset others but that doesn't mean it's true. I don't think what he said is true - not even a tiny bit
@mytwistedsoul
This is what his son said to me right before I left him “ An if we are right for us maybe we can be more but that’s a ways off”
@sunshinegiraffe123 I wish I knew what to say. I guess sometimes things just don't work out - it doesn't make it hurt any less though
@mytwistedsoul
I cried again last night
@sunshinegiraffe123 I'm sorry you were hurting so much :(
Its ok to cry - it's a good way to let the pain and hurt out
@mytwistedsoul
My ex's father said more so I bursted into tears
@sunshinegiraffe123 Oh Allie :( What he's doing isn't right. He should let you and your ex work things out if there's anything to work out
@sunshinegiraffe123- Wow- school back in session- hope your first day goes well.
@barncat
Starts in a week
@sunshinegiraffe123 How was the first day?
@mytwistedsoul
Im in a class with two kids who got me in trouble in ninth grade.. but otherwise good! I'm excited I made the support plus team.
@sunshinegiraffe123 I'm glad it's good! Maybe try to not hang out with the trouble makers? Life is much easier when you're not in trouble for things. Especially if you're a senior now - you want to have a good last year
I think it is so awesome that you're getting more involved here - it's a big step! You're awesome!
@mytwistedsoul
There bad people .....
@sunshinegiraffe123 Unfortunately youre right - there are bad people but there's also good people. They can just be alittle harder to find
@mytwistedsoul
Yesterday was hard 😭
@sunshinegiraffe123 I hope today was better for you
@mytwistedsoul
Kinda
@sunshinegiraffe123 You gave me alittle inspiration and motivation and I know how hard you're trying - so I thought I'd share something with you that I started working on - it's not done yet but I'm doing alittle bit every day. I hope you like it :)
@mytwistedsoul
Wownthats amazing. Thank you so much.
You got that right! They make the cutest clicking sound, and reminds me of the horses in several of those TickTocks! 😂
The Strumbrellas - Spirits
https://youtu.be/F9kXstb9FF4