In The Gloaming TW *just in case*
With the tragic loss of the feed and after much debate and discussion. It's been decided to create a new thread. Soul space so to speak. A journal of sorts.
A place where I can dump some of the nonsense that goes on in my head.
While replies are welcome - they aren't necessary.
Sam Tinnesz - Run with The Giants https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-fv4bQobpc
Sam Tinnesz - Leading The Pack https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjPbS4Mi_kQ
Citizen Soldier - Sacred https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=To2vGYoD8IQ
Solence - Blackout https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJOxB9e9jpU
Sam Tinnesz - Play with Fire https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=np02phdwrwk
Citizen Soldier - Devil Inside https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_9fg9PRKck
Ya dee da dum dum
Don't spit on the floor
Use a cuspador
That's what it's for
Alittle oper-rat-a lol
@mytwistedsoul
😂😂😂
🐭🐁🐀
@GreyMirror 😁
@mytwistedsoul
See we comunicate without words, we simply know....
My focus - sucks
It's a pain in the ass being pulled in so many different directions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXDNMinUPXc
The Score - Best Part
Let's crank it up - shall we
@mytwistedsoul
I feel the same way. Dont know if youve already tried this but my counselor said to try white noise. It helped a little
@ThePizza Hey M :) I usually have a fan on in the living room. Maybe it needs to be at a higher setting. I'll have to see if it helps. Thank you
@mytwistedsoul
You
I
@mytwistedsoul
Much of what you wrote applies to me right now and I scream in the silence...
Weeping is left for us in our mental torment...
As I always said Soul, I wish I could take up your load so you can feel happy like you deserve to be...😔
@mytwistedsoul
* Hands you over a tissue with funny hamsters and rabbits *
Does anyone sleep anymore?
@mytwistedsoul what's sleep?
@mytwistedsoul
well, i am trying to...
its just that the restless mind says otherwise.
Whats on your mind J?
Been having some pretty strong pita moments. Being a nusance - a pest - inconvenience. Story of my life. Even just writing this is causing issues because of people possibly taking time out of their day to read it
Been trying to keep busy. Busy is good - busy keeps the thoughts and feelings away. You would think busy would be something to leave you exhausted enough to sleep too - I wish
The garden is in the whole way. Potatoes planted over the weekend. Mowing done - weed wacking started. I haven't been in the shop much for the past week. Other then a stop in here and there for other things
Had someone get triggered this weekend - someone I didn't think even had any triggers. Had to sharpen the mower blades - used the grinder. It takes alittle bit to do it and the heat on the metal - well it puts a metalic taste in your mouth and in your nose - similar to - well - blood
The Queen - the ultimate bully - there is no escape
Idk - I have this insane idea that I should be better - better influence - better at keeping in touch - a better me - better at explaining - better at being better. I bet there's a book somewhere on how to build a better you - I'll have to look
Idk - words seem to be in short supply so -
Be gentle with yourselves and your thoughts
@mytwistedsoul
Whats on your mind J?
Hello twistedsoul now i finally got what "J" meant.
Been having some pretty strong pita moments. Being a nusance - a pest - inconvenience. Story of my life. Even just writing this is causing issues because of people possibly taking time out of their day to read it
Well, you can actually put it to 2 perspective. But before you read on, [FIRST -> PAUSE AND BREATHE]
Feel better now? Mind abit neutral state?
Thought 1 - May be a pest or inconvenience to others
Thought 2 - Releasing or Letting go of mental dump
Thought 3 - Opening up more opportunities for aid or support or consolement or <anything that helps>
Pink - Lastly about the how the application of the statement, if you are in a neutral mentality or open minded now... this statement only applies to thought 1. And also... you mentioned the word possibly which doesn't infer that it will definitely cause issues. So yea. If others (me???) want to read, its their choice. Whatever one choses to do, its a matter of choice of oneself. So dont be so hard on yourself.
Been trying to keep busy. Busy is good - busy keeps the thoughts and feelings away. You would think busy would be something to leave you exhausted enough to sleep too - I wish
Sometimes, when the mind is too cluttered, yea, i agree somehow it helps. Just a thought that it will be good to be busy with what matters for you. - This is where my problem comes in, I have this mentality that everytime, every effort the "energy" must be spent effectively, "where it counts/matters/effective/efficient" which is not necessary true all times.
The garden is in the whole way. Potatoes planted over the weekend. Mowing done - weed wacking started. I haven't been in the shop much for the past week. Other then a stop in here and there for other things
Ah... hope you had a good harvest.
Had someone get triggered this weekend - someone I didn't think even had any triggers. Had to sharpen the mower blades - used the grinder. It takes alittle bit to do it and the heat on the metal - well it puts a metalic taste in your mouth and in your nose - similar to - well - blood
Hmm, may I suggest that it is a lesson and experience gained?
Previous perspective and assumption - Does not apply anymore. Time to update it.
The Queen - the ultimate bully - there is no escape
Idk - I have this insane idea that I should be better - better influence - better at keeping in touch - a better me - better at explaining - better at being better. I bet there's a book somewhere on how to build a better you - I'll have to look
Idk - words seem to be in short supply so -
Its ok, dont have to explain in 100% clarity. I believe everyone had the mentality for striving for the best for oneself, for work, for company, for family, for children/elders, for <whatever>
Sometimes we push and push, until we forget the origin motivation, the goals and wants and rationale/reasoning.
Yet sometimes we even forget something simple - It is good to strive and achieve them, but it is not mandatory to have them all. It is ok to be at current stage or be it any.
It is ok to be not ok. It doesnt have to turn out as expected everytime.
Be gentle with yourselves and your thoughts
Will try, You too please J. Take care.
I hope that the above thoughts and opinions are taken with a pinch of salt, and don't over engross in it that it is 100% true either. Its just another one's thoughts.
Tomorrow night is the final supermoon of 2020. In case anyone was interested. Might be nice to let the inner wolf sing to it one last time
@mytwistedsoul
A white rat and white woof, rare creatures...did someone drop their white paint bucket on us or smth?🙄😁
@GreenAndRedBoat Lol - knowing us we probably got into something we shouldn't have
@mytwistedsoul
😂😂😂 we stepped in wisdom and turned our hairs white...
Or we just played in the flour again and got our dirty furs white 😉
@GreenAndRedBoat Probably making explosives to take down the Queen Bee's men
@mytwistedsoul
Naay😉, we don't need that, just the four dirty paws🐾🐾 and her furry friends...
Gosh I wish somebody would make animated movies on these kids' songs...
Black, red and yellow for Of Monsters And Men...
@GreenAndRedBoat There's allways need for explosives
@mytwistedsoul
I wrote a while ago in a thread about agoraphobia that some times I imagined myself as an atomic bomb, oblitterating the bang out of everybody and everything into silence...😊
@GreenAndRedBoat Should the X be on the front of my shirt or the back? Lol
@mytwistedsoul
😊🤗😶Soul...
@GreenAndRedBoat Hey! Welcome back! How are you today?
@mytwistedsoul
A bit better thank you😶, I saw her all night, bits of clouds on her from time to time...🌚
@mytwistedsoul
Noooo waaay🌚
They are so rare...thank you so much Soul!🤗😊
@GreenAndRedBoat You're welcome
Welcome back :) It's not quite the same around here when you're gone
It's too quiet lol
@mytwistedsoul
Quoet and silence is heavy, that is why we have friends😉🤗😊. From time to time we may seek solitude, but solitude as a way of life is slow poison...😔
Oh wow, soo glad someone else knows about supermoons🌚🌚🌚
@mytwistedsoul
Beautiful pics🌚🌚
@mytwistedsoul
How in the world did you know about super moons?🙄 you have my admiration😶...
Just because
@mytwistedsoul Haha! I have been selfishly wanting to let you know that I miss you but I was too afraid to type it out until now. Thank you for giving the courage! *sprints away as fast as she can* 🏃♀️💨
@intelligentWheel627 Hey Rinny :) How are you?
I've been wanting to let you know too - that you're often in my thoughts and wondering how you are. Hoping things are going ok for you - stuff like that
I think you may have broke the sound barrier as fast as you sprinted off
Be gentle with yourself and your thoughts
@mytwistedsoul
😂😂😂😂
@mytwistedsoul
Every time I read it I laugh like hell😂😂😂😂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BROhrbyUuE
Noah Kahan - Busyhead
You're weak on the surface
You speak when youre nervous
And all the wrong words seem right in your head
You can't stand the space in your bed
So you shake in the darkness
You break like an artist
And all your big plans are small the next day
You can't wait to throw them away
You perseverate
And the truth might be a million miles away
Hide your secrets, disguise your weakness
And lose yourself inside your busyhead
Burn your bridges and leave no witnesses
All alone inside your busyhead
Your busyhead
You sleep in the moment, but dream like a poet
And all your good grace, like faded tattoos
You spend your days in wait for bad news
So you perseverate
And the truth might be a million miles away
Hide your secrets, disguise your weakness
And lose yourself inside your busyhead
Burn your bridges and leave no witnesses
All alone inside your busyhead
Going nowhere
Fast enough to tell a lie
Give yourself an alibi
Youve been gone lately
Stand upon your peace of mind
You're bound to fall if you take your time
'Cause we're all waiting
And you can stare below into the abyss
Find a home on the edge of it
And be defined by its presence
By its size and its message
You can move along through the dark
And when you wonder where you are
You'll be proud of your weakness
So, busyhead, just keep breathing, oh
Oh, busyhead, just keep breathing
Oh, busyhead, just
Hide your secrets, disguise your weakness
And lose yourself inside your busyhead
Burn your bridges and leave no witnesses
All alone inside your busyhead
You're all alone inside your busyhead
You're all alone inside your busyhead