In The Gloaming TW *just in case*
With the tragic loss of the feed and after much debate and discussion. It's been decided to create a new thread. Soul space so to speak. A journal of sorts.
A place where I can dump some of the nonsense that goes on in my head.
While replies are welcome - they aren't necessary.
@intelligentWheel627 You've been in my thoughts
Thats all - no expectations - no strings - no reply needed or necessary
All my wolves begin to howl
Wake me up - the time is now
I'm a saint, and I'm a sinner
I'm a loser and a winner
Without faith and a believer
I am true and the deceiver
I'm a hero and a villain
I'm a myth and I'm a legend
Without strength and a contender
I am real and the pretender
Take me as I am or don't
'cause I don't give a damn, no
I'm a poet and a soldier
I am young and growing older
Without hope, but I'm a dreamer
I'm the cure, and I'm the fever
I am lost with a direction
I am failure and perfection
Without grace, but I am tired
Of walking life like it's a wire
Take me as I am, or don't
'Cause I don't give a damn, no
Jacob Lee - Knowledge
Sit close
Let me tell you every truth I know
I could read you poetry and prose
We could contemplate the syllables
If you so wished for it
If so
Let your consciousness dissolve like snow
Watch the branches replicate your bones
Place the precious palms among your own
Be the water and the boat, and sew our story
Every thought that lies inside of me
Atop the shelves, amidst my library
So when you're older you may visit me
When I'm at peace
Patiently, I reach up above
I can see the ocean as I stare at the stars
I will place my knowledge in your hands
It's okay if you don't understand just yet
Speak slow
Let me ask before I take a note
May I read a couple words you wrote?
Every page you touch, the letters glow
From the ashes still we grow
And I'll boast
I can comprehend the words you spoke
You're the writer and the quote, and so I hope
Every thought that lies inside of me
Someday finds its way from soul to speech
So I may bestow our legacy
Like you to me
Patiently, I reach up above
I can read the ocean as I write with the stars
I will place your knowledge in my hands
Flick a page until I understand, I do, oh
Like trying to speak while remaining in silence
Or facing your fears without feeling frightened
I'll never know if I'll get to try it
I'll do my best to stay [?]
Patiently, I reach up above
I can see the ocean as I stare at the stars
I will place my knowledge in your hands
Flick a page until I understand, I do, oh
Patiently, I reach up above
I can read the ocean as I write with the stars
I will place your knowledge in my hands
Flick a page until understand, I do, oh
You ever have those moments where you can feel the anxiety or depression slide it's greasy fingers along your spine? It slowly tip toes up along your skin to settle and linger and lurk at the base of your neck waiting to pounce. It is a patient beast isn't it? Softly purring in your ear.
Lurk isn't that an awesome word?
@intelligentWheel627
When I tagged you earlier - tbch - I didn't read your post yet. I had just gotten back from Doc Z and was playing catch up with notices. You had been running through my mind for days before today. The people here - they don't just come to mind when they post something. They are in my thoughts every day. Even people I talked to months ago and haven't talked to since. Idk - maybe that sounds stupid.
Your post didn't upset me. If anything it made me sad. I consider alot of the people I talk to here friends. Because in real life I don't have any others. I know that here we're only seen by our screen names and our little avatars. But we're sharing parts of our very real lives. We're here for support - acceptance - understanding and yeah - friendship. Idk - maybe it is unhealthy. But I'm gonna go with Doc Z on this. It's socializing - I need this because I'm not ready to go and meet people face to face. People in real life scare the crap out of me yet.
Regardless of what you say or even if you were to go on break - you would still be in my thoughts. M would - Wiser- Lime - V - Dawn - Jenny - even people that we've had harsh words with.
So - I wrote you a book - sorry about that. I could go on lol. Just - Idk - I hope I haven't upset you or made you angry. Dang this is really long - Idk - people care about you Rinny *hope I spelled that right* people will care whether you want them to or not
@mytwistedsoul Saw my name and decided to reply! I keep all the people I talk to here in my thoughts - often even the ones that have went away and so I just hope they are well or found help somewhere better.
@mytwistedsoul
I'm not upset or angry. I'm embarrassed for over reacting. I'm not ready to come out of hiding yet. I just want to let you know that I'm still around, although mostly invisible. I hope you don't hate me. I'm sorry for making you sad with my incredibly stupid words. I take them all back.
Kind of a rough night. Weepy for hours - ugh - stupid little memories come leaking in. Acidic and corrosive. She could be so - cruel
So 200 years into the future and we still don't have our feeds. My ghost is now b*tching about it
@mytwistedsoul What's almost funny to me is our profiles now look weird without them. There's the obvious gap where something used to be. One would have thought when they were removing feeds, they would have had the sense to also change the layout of things on the profile pages....but nope, now it looks like a elementary school student's attempt at web design......
It really sucks when you're having a decent day and then for some stupid reason you decide to think and there goes the decent day
Thanks alot brain - you're off the Christmas card list
@mytwistedsoul
Thinking seems to cause a lot of problems doesn
@ThePizza Its totally over-rated that's for sure. I think it just goes looking for trouble. Rooting through the files looking for crap to dig up just to rain on your parade. Having a gpod time? asks Brain. Why yes I was! Brain proceeds to flip you off and skips merrily away - la dee da. Where's that Acme anvil when you need it?
On my mind -
Kind of anxious - kind of depressed - kind of thinking shut up J - lol - restless
I don't understand the purpose of people taking their accounts here on break but returning under another name. Especially after the one name writes something that's sort of concerning - Allthough I could be wrong. I'm having a hard time trusting those instincts
Time is weird today. Speeding along without much to show other then the hands on the clock have moved
Words look funny today
Kind of feel like I did something wrong - just haven't figured out what yet
Spent most of yesterday outside - it was a beautiful day - sunshine and warmer temps - come on spring!
Finally got the faucet fixed right. *I think* Supposed to be frost free - but it froze lol
Spent alittle time working on some different steps to the fire pit. The others were wood and are starting to rot. So we're working on stone ones. But I think we maybe should get some concrete
Supposed to be another beautiful day today - then the rain moves in tomorrow - still kind of warm but rainy. Then the cold moves in and the wind - again
Idk - another block of time lost - coffee's cold again