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A Space For The Unsaid (Personal Diary)

Optimisticempath April 10th, 2022

Uh hello if anyone is reading this! ๐Ÿ˜€

I have no idea why I'm even creating this thread but i just feel it will be nice to have a place to share some thoughts or even these images on the internet that i always keep saving for myself because i relate too much but cannot share it with anyone because yes haha

I'm okay with replies here so feel free to drop by anytime โค๏ธ

Just please be kind and respectful if your replying to my posts.

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Optimisticempath OP May 14th

i feel like crying ... a lot... you know one of those times you just know you've got so much in your heart.... it's heavy ...gets heavier and there seems no escape or relief .... idk tho i don't really have a very recent or current valid reason to cry... but it's just so heavy inside....

i feel like a horrible person ๐Ÿ˜” either im not saying, doing anything... being life less and with 0 expression on face... or im snappy and irritated at literally everything and everyone .... specially when someone tries talking to me or asking me something .... there's a ton of loneliness im stuck in but at the same time .... i really am fine till anyone's around or tries talking .... just wanna be left alone to keep my silence... at least on the outside..... inner world is pure chaos...nd i dont even know what to think of it..... and then it hurts so much ... later...snapping at someone...being so moody and rude for no good reason or good reason known to them ... should just hide๐Ÿ˜”

1 reply
VictoriaLove7 May 14th

@Optimisticempath

Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’• it is alright to cry, it might help to release our stress or any feelings that have overwhelmed us ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’—

chu is not a horrible person, because me sure there are circumstances or situations that make chu feel stressful & feel irritated at everything or everyone. Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’• has been doing the best you could, everyday, even if chu might feel it is not enough ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’—

Know that me is vvvv glad that chu exist, Milky๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿฅบ

Rainbow bear ๐ŸŒˆ ๐Ÿงธ hopes that Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’• try to be patient with chuself, just the way chu is being gentle to rainbow bear ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’—

*Huggsss Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿฅบ tightttt*

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mytwistedsoul May 16th

@Optimisticempath Hey you โค๏ธ Just wanted to say you've been in my thoughts *sending you bunches of hugs and lots of love* โค๏ธโค๏ธ


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VictoriaLove7 May 16th

@Optimisticempath

rainbow bear ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ also loves Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’• *huggss tightttt*๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ

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Optimisticempath OP May 27th

hi..๐Ÿ˜” im uh alive.... still existing! just updating....

1 reply
VictoriaLove7 May 28th

@Optimisticempath

rainbow bear ๐ŸŒˆ ๐Ÿงธ is vvv glad that Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’• exist ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿฅ›โส•>แดฅ<ย ส”โ

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Optimisticempath OP May 27th

https://www.7cups.com/forum/generalsupport/General_2440/THREAD_329881/

im going to lose someone because i cant communicateย  and go away to be alone when overwhelmed .... and they think i dont care and have no human feelings or consideration for other people's emotions... if only they'd know ...๐Ÿ˜” ... the awful sad part is that my disorganized avoidant attachment saw it coming already and is relieved...no... not relieved...its just...idk the word...its ok with the person leaving finally because of course they don't wanna put up with me...why would anyone ever .. ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿฅฐ yay..ย 

1 reply
mytwistedsoul May 27th

@Optimisticempath Would it help to write them? Maybe to send a text or an email? Or even a hand written letter? To tell them your feelings and maybe explain why it's so hard for you? If they care about you I would hope they'd understand or at least be open minded enough to try and understandย 


Sometimes it's easier to put the words down that way instead of trying to say them out loud
I know this all to well myself ๐Ÿ˜ž in the end everyone leaves. They always do.ย 
I'm so sorry you're losing someone you care about. It hurts ๐Ÿ˜ž
1 reply
Optimisticempath OP June 1st

@mytwistedsoulย 

we text usually but even on text it's so difficult....i feel like I either have nothing to say like words don't come up at all or ill write paragraphs trying to over explain and all and then theu still don't get me...or like don't even try to understand ....ive been feeling so invalidated and misunderstood but idk what to do to change that Soul ๐Ÿ˜”ย 

the more i try to do better ... be more expressive and vulnerable...the more im misunderstood and idk it just makes me go right back into my shell but then they feel i don't care or im being non chalant...idk how to really help this situation...v stuck ๐Ÿ˜”

it's hard to function because my avoidant really keeps yay-ing at me for pushing them away but then part of me that's more sort of aware?? feels like i should try harder ...and again the same story... it's like nothing changes despite the efforts ...๐Ÿฅบ

sorry if this is all too much or too confusing...im really confused and stuck too so idk what im thinking ๐Ÿ˜” just wanna go underground or something ... it won't help xD but we can try a failed attempt in escaping a difficult adult world situation we weren't prepared for ever... right?...๐Ÿ˜ญ

thankiees for the v thoughtful reply Soul โคโค *huggs you

1 reply
mytwistedsoul June 3rd

@Optimisticempath Sometimes it's not just the one person's - issue? idk that might be the wrong word. You've been doing what you can to be vulnerable and explaining things the best you can. But the one who's receiving it has to be willing to look at things from your POV. It can be hard for someone to fully understand and grasp something if they've never been in the other person's position. Idk what this other person's history or is past is like but maybe there's something there that's adding to the difficulties? I'm sorry you've been feeling invalidated and misunderstood despite all you've been trying to do to make things better ๐Ÿ˜ž


I can sure understand going back into your shell. Especially when it feels like nothing you do is right. I admire your bravery and how hard you're trying โค๏ธ The fact that you've been pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and pushing back on the avoidant part says alot

We all understand you here - just as someone below commented - how you speak makes sense. Maybe that because so many of us are similar in this way - we speak the same language โค๏ธ
Nothing I said is much help though - I'm sorry about that. I wish there was a manual or handbook on how to people better. Something with step by step instructions

It's not too much โค๏ธ It would be nice sometimes if we could just disappear underground for awhile. It would be even better if we were taught all these things properly when we were growing up. I really hope that things get better between the two of you โค๏ธ
*hugs you tight* โค๏ธย 
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Optimisticempath OP June 1st

๐Ÿ˜” idk how to deal with all this emptinessย 

2 replies

@Optimisticempath

*sits with you if okie* โค๏ธ

VictoriaLove7 June 2nd

@Optimisticempath

huggss Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿฅบ vvv tightttt, & hopes me fill the emptiness*

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mytwistedsoul June 13th

@Optimisticempath Been thinking of you โค๏ธ sending hugs and lots of love โค๏ธโค๏ธ

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Optimisticempath OP June 19th

@mytwistedsoul thank you Soul friend ๐Ÿฅบ huggles and luv back to you ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’• me missie you too ๐Ÿ’• how's you?

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mytwistedsoul June 19th

@Optimisticempath Thank you OptiBear โค๏ธ I needed hugs today โค๏ธ

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Optimisticempath OP June 21st

@mytwistedsoul aw more huggieeess for you friend ๐Ÿฅบ soul doesn't sound v ok ๐Ÿ˜” it's ok to not be ok but but can me do something to help ... even teeny bit?๐Ÿฅบ me here wichu and huggie tight โคโคโค

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mytwistedsoul June 21st

@Optimisticempath Thank you โค๏ธ I appreciate you asking and sending more hugs. It's just a rough time right now - you sending hugs and being your wonderful thoughtful and amazing self is help โค๏ธ I'm so grateful for you OptiBear ๐Ÿฅนโค๏ธ

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VictoriaLove7 June 14th

@Optimisticempath

Rainbow bear ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ also thinking of Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’•โส•โ€ขแดฅโ€ข`ส”โ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’•

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Optimisticempath OP June 19th

@VictoriaLove7 thank you rainbow bear ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’•

1 reply
VictoriaLove7 June 22nd

@Optimisticempath

*huggsss milky tightttt ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿค—๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ* How's you, Milky? ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’•

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@Optimisticempath

๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ

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2 replies
Optimisticempath OP June 19th

@LoveMyMoonflowers

Thank you flower buddy ๐Ÿ’• how's you?

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2 replies

@Optimisticempath

i'm okie opti ๐Ÿ’œ how are you? ๐Ÿ’œย 

thank you for the love and hugs ๐Ÿ’•

2 replies
Optimisticempath OP June 21st

@LoveMyMoonflowers

me glad you okie ๐Ÿ’•

me ... not so okie ๐Ÿ˜… but its fine ๐Ÿค—

2 replies

@Optimisticempath

*hugs if okie?* i'm so sorry for the late reply optie ๐Ÿ’œ butโ€ฆ if your not doing so okie then you donโ€™t have to say itโ€™s fine ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’œ is there anything i can do to help? :(ย 

1 reply
Optimisticempath OP July 9th

@LoveMyMoonflowers im sorry i dont know flower buddy ๐Ÿฅบ huggles you ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’• how's you today?

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RachelListener June 19th

@Optimisticempath

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1 reply
Optimisticempath OP June 19th

@RachelListener


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