A Space For The Unsaid (Personal Diary)
Uh hello if anyone is reading this! π
I have no idea why I'm even creating this thread but i just feel it will be nice to have a place to share some thoughts or even these images on the internet that i always keep saving for myself because i relate too much but cannot share it with anyone because yes haha
I'm okay with replies here so feel free to drop by anytime β€οΈ
Just please be kind and respectful if your replying to my posts.
i feel like crying ... a lot... you know one of those times you just know you've got so much in your heart.... it's heavy ...gets heavier and there seems no escape or relief .... idk tho i don't really have a very recent or current valid reason to cry... but it's just so heavy inside....
i feel like a horrible person π either im not saying, doing anything... being life less and with 0 expression on face... or im snappy and irritated at literally everything and everyone .... specially when someone tries talking to me or asking me something .... there's a ton of loneliness im stuck in but at the same time .... i really am fine till anyone's around or tries talking .... just wanna be left alone to keep my silence... at least on the outside..... inner world is pure chaos...nd i dont even know what to think of it..... and then it hurts so much ... later...snapping at someone...being so moody and rude for no good reason or good reason known to them ... should just hideπ
@Optimisticempath
Milky π₯π§Έπ₯Ίπ it is alright to cry, it might help to release our stress or any feelings that have overwhelmed us π₯Ίπ
chu is not a horrible person, because me sure there are circumstances or situations that make chu feel stressful & feel irritated at everything or everyone. Milky π₯π§Έπ has been doing the best you could, everyday, even if chu might feel it is not enough π₯Ίπ
Know that me is vvvv glad that chu exist, Milkyπ₯π§Έπππ§Έπ₯Ί
Rainbow bear π π§Έ hopes that Milky π₯π§Έπ try to be patient with chuself, just the way chu is being gentle to rainbow bear ππ§Έπ₯Ίπ
*Huggsss Milky π₯ππ§Έπ₯Ί tightttt*
@Optimisticempath Hey you β€οΈ Just wanted to say you've been in my thoughts *sending you bunches of hugs and lots of love* β€οΈβ€οΈ
@Optimisticempath
rainbow bear ππ§Έ also loves Milky π₯π§Έπ *huggss tightttt*π₯π§Έπ€πππ§Έ
hi..π im uh alive.... still existing! just updating....
@Optimisticempath
rainbow bear π π§Έ is vvv glad that Milky π₯π§Έπ exist π€ππ₯βΚ>α΄₯<Β Κβ
https://www.7cups.com/forum/generalsupport/General_2440/THREAD_329881/
im going to lose someone because i cant communicateΒ and go away to be alone when overwhelmed .... and they think i dont care and have no human feelings or consideration for other people's emotions... if only they'd know ...π ... the awful sad part is that my disorganized avoidant attachment saw it coming already and is relieved...no... not relieved...its just...idk the word...its ok with the person leaving finally because of course they don't wanna put up with me...why would anyone ever .. ππ₯° yay..Β
@Optimisticempath Would it help to write them? Maybe to send a text or an email? Or even a hand written letter? To tell them your feelings and maybe explain why it's so hard for you? If they care about you I would hope they'd understand or at least be open minded enough to try and understandΒ
@mytwistedsoulΒ
we text usually but even on text it's so difficult....i feel like I either have nothing to say like words don't come up at all or ill write paragraphs trying to over explain and all and then theu still don't get me...or like don't even try to understand ....ive been feeling so invalidated and misunderstood but idk what to do to change that Soul πΒ
the more i try to do better ... be more expressive and vulnerable...the more im misunderstood and idk it just makes me go right back into my shell but then they feel i don't care or im being non chalant...idk how to really help this situation...v stuck π
it's hard to function because my avoidant really keeps yay-ing at me for pushing them away but then part of me that's more sort of aware?? feels like i should try harder ...and again the same story... it's like nothing changes despite the efforts ...π₯Ί
sorry if this is all too much or too confusing...im really confused and stuck too so idk what im thinking π just wanna go underground or something ... it won't help xD but we can try a failed attempt in escaping a difficult adult world situation we weren't prepared for ever... right?...π
thankiees for the v thoughtful reply Soul β€β€ *huggs you
@Optimisticempath Sometimes it's not just the one person's - issue? idk that might be the wrong word. You've been doing what you can to be vulnerable and explaining things the best you can. But the one who's receiving it has to be willing to look at things from your POV. It can be hard for someone to fully understand and grasp something if they've never been in the other person's position. Idk what this other person's history or is past is like but maybe there's something there that's adding to the difficulties? I'm sorry you've been feeling invalidated and misunderstood despite all you've been trying to do to make things better π
π idk how to deal with all this emptinessΒ
@Optimisticempath
*sits with you if okie* β€οΈ
@Optimisticempath
huggss Milky π₯π§Έππ₯Ί vvv tightttt, & hopes me fill the emptiness*
@Optimisticempath Been thinking of you β€οΈ sending hugs and lots of love β€οΈβ€οΈ
@mytwistedsoul thank you Soul friend π₯Ί huggles and luv back to you ππ me missie you too π how's you?
@Optimisticempath Thank you OptiBear β€οΈ I needed hugs today β€οΈ
@mytwistedsoul aw more huggieeess for you friend π₯Ί soul doesn't sound v ok π it's ok to not be ok but but can me do something to help ... even teeny bit?π₯Ί me here wichu and huggie tight β€β€β€
@Optimisticempath Thank you β€οΈ I appreciate you asking and sending more hugs. It's just a rough time right now - you sending hugs and being your wonderful thoughtful and amazing self is help β€οΈ I'm so grateful for you OptiBear π₯Ήβ€οΈ
@mytwistedsoul
rough times π me understands β€ we can try the basics? nom nom whatever we can β€ drink water β€ try closing eyes and lay down because what's sleep during such times?π so any amount of rest is ok β€ and the usual ... we try to breathe and repeat β€ it's so tuff and too much to ask of but we will try, ok Soul?π₯ΊΒ
im actually pretty sure you're already trying to do way more than this...and me is so so proud of you β€β€
*keeps hugging* π€π€
@Optimisticempath Thank you for such gentle reminders β€οΈ I just had some lunch and I'm resting in the AC while writing to you π Drinking enough water is always an issue. It's so - watery and tasteless πI hope you'll treat yourself with kindness too. How is Opti today? I hope it's ok to say that it's really nice to see you today - I've missed you β€οΈ *hugs you tight* β€οΈ
@Optimisticempath
Rainbow bear ππ§Έ also thinking of Milky π₯π§ΈπβΚβ’α΄₯β’`Κβπ€π
@VictoriaLove7 thank you rainbow bear ππ§Έπ€π
@Optimisticempath
*huggsss milky tightttt π₯π§Έππ€ππ§Έ* How's you, Milky? π₯π§Έπ₯Ίπ
@Optimisticempath
ππππ
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Thank you flower buddy π how's you?
@Optimisticempath
i'm okie opti π how are you? πΒ
thank you for the love and hugs π
