A Space For The Unsaid (Personal Diary)

@Optimisticempath Hey you ❤️ Just wanted to say you've been in my thoughts *sending you bunches of hugs and lots of love* ❤️❤️

@Optimisticempath

rainbow bear 🌈🧸 also loves Milky 🥛🧸💕 *huggss tightttt*🥛🧸🤗💕🌈🧸

hi..😔 im uh alive.... still existing! just updating....

@Optimisticempath

rainbow bear 🌈 🧸 is vvv glad that Milky 🥛🧸💕 exist 🤗💕🥛⍝ʕ>ᴥ< ʔ⍝

https://www.7cups.com/forum/generalsupport/General_2440/THREAD_329881/

im going to lose someone because i cant communicate  and go away to be alone when overwhelmed .... and they think i dont care and have no human feelings or consideration for other people's emotions... if only they'd know ...😔 ... the awful sad part is that my disorganized avoidant attachment saw it coming already and is relieved...no... not relieved...its just...idk the word...its ok with the person leaving finally because of course they don't wanna put up with me...why would anyone ever .. 💀🥰 yay.. 

@Optimisticempath Would it help to write them? Maybe to send a text or an email? Or even a hand written letter? To tell them your feelings and maybe explain why it's so hard for you? If they care about you I would hope they'd understand or at least be open minded enough to try and understand 

@mytwistedsoul 

we text usually but even on text it's so difficult....i feel like I either have nothing to say like words don't come up at all or ill write paragraphs trying to over explain and all and then theu still don't get me...or like don't even try to understand ....ive been feeling so invalidated and misunderstood but idk what to do to change that Soul 😔 

the more i try to do better ... be more expressive and vulnerable...the more im misunderstood and idk it just makes me go right back into my shell but then they feel i don't care or im being non chalant...idk how to really help this situation...v stuck 😔

it's hard to function because my avoidant really keeps yay-ing at me for pushing them away but then part of me that's more sort of aware?? feels like i should try harder ...and again the same story... it's like nothing changes despite the efforts ...🥺

sorry if this is all too much or too confusing...im really confused and stuck too so idk what im thinking 😔 just wanna go underground or something ... it won't help xD but we can try a failed attempt in escaping a difficult adult world situation we weren't prepared for ever... right?...😭

thankiees for the v thoughtful reply Soul ❤❤ *huggs you

@Optimisticempath Sometimes it's not just the one person's - issue? idk that might be the wrong word. You've been doing what you can to be vulnerable and explaining things the best you can. But the one who's receiving it has to be willing to look at things from your POV. It can be hard for someone to fully understand and grasp something if they've never been in the other person's position. Idk what this other person's history or is past is like but maybe there's something there that's adding to the difficulties? I'm sorry you've been feeling invalidated and misunderstood despite all you've been trying to do to make things better 😞

😔 idk how to deal with all this emptiness 

@Optimisticempath

*sits with you if okie* ❤️

@Optimisticempath

huggss Milky 🥛🧸💕🥺 vvv tightttt, & hopes me fill the emptiness*

@OptimisticEmpath I’m sorry for writing uninvited in your space here. I’m still learning the culture of 7 Cups and have written where I shouldn’t a few times. I’m a little embarrassed. I’m going to find out how to get this deleted. I didn’t mean any harm.

@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas Forgive my intrusion. I don't think you did anything wrong with writing here. Sometimes it can be hard to reply back to everyone or sometimes people might not have the focus to read the longer posts and reply. Or sometimes people reply later.  It doesn't help either that some replies get diminished for whatever reason. Please don't be embarrassed.  @Optimisticempath is a very sweet and caring person and they wouldn't want you to feel this way. Hopefully this eases your mind 

@mytwistedsoul

thank you for always understanding me and looking out for me Soul 🥺 your literally the best friend one could have❤❤❤❤

@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas

hey no im so sorry 🥺 i did see your message weeks ago and wanted to reply in a better state...guess that never happens for me..so im just sorry for the delay...you didn't say anything wrong or anything to be embarrassed about...its ok to reply here and when you do it so kindly with so much compassion in your words and there was also appreciation for me 🥺 

im v happy you could resonate with what i said / how I did...i didn't think it could make someone feel inspired in anyway..usually what i say is a gibberish of many thoughts 💀 so brownie points for whoever's tries to read and understand it anyway 🥺  actually really grateful for the few who read it still and make sense of what even i sometimes don't find very what's the word for "has sense in it"??😅

see even now my thoughts are all so scared and idk if any of this makes any sense....like i feel bad for making you feel like you did something wrong or had to go back in time and not say what you did and then i feel so guilty for not being able to respond sooner and I feel so much gratitude for you for your compassion...i feel inspired with you for how you were forthcoming about what you thought and even if it was hard for you ..you shared about you to express that you related with me ... I feel upset because ik it's tuff dealing with so much and not being able to express it to anyone and i wouldnt want anyone to feel like that ever 😔

im v sorry if i disappointed you or caused you any hurt ...never meant to... im logging in this month for the first time today and just trying to get back to the tags...😅

sending luv to you 💕 i see your replies in other posts sometimes and think you are v kind, supportive and engaging 💕 you'd never be a bother 🤗 feel free to respond/ share anything anytime please

@Optimisticempath Been thinking of you ❤️ sending hugs and lots of love ❤️❤️

@mytwistedsoul thank you Soul friend 🥺 huggles and luv back to you 💕💕 me missie you too 💕 how's you?

@Optimisticempath Thank you OptiBear ❤️ I needed hugs today ❤️

@mytwistedsoul aw more huggieeess for you friend 🥺 soul doesn't sound v ok 😔 it's ok to not be ok but but can me do something to help ... even teeny bit?🥺 me here wichu and huggie tight ❤❤❤

@Optimisticempath Thank you ❤️ I appreciate you asking and sending more hugs. It's just a rough time right now - you sending hugs and being your wonderful thoughtful and amazing self is help ❤️ I'm so grateful for you OptiBear 🥹❤️

@mytwistedsoul

rough times 😔 me understands ❤ we can try the basics? nom nom whatever we can ❤ drink water ❤ try closing eyes and lay down because what's sleep during such times?😅 so any amount of rest is ok ❤ and the usual ... we try to breathe and repeat ❤ it's so tuff and too much to ask of but we will try, ok Soul?🥺 

im actually pretty sure you're already trying to do way more than this...and me is so so proud of you ❤❤

*keeps hugging* 🤗🤗

@Optimisticempath Thank you for such gentle reminders ❤️ I just had some lunch and I'm resting in the AC while writing to you 😊 Drinking enough water is always an issue. It's so - watery and tasteless 😝I hope you'll treat yourself with kindness too. How is Opti today? I hope it's ok to say that it's really nice to see you today - I've missed you ❤️ *hugs you tight* ❤️

@Optimisticempath

Rainbow bear 🌈🧸 also thinking of Milky 🥛🧸💕⍝ʕ•ᴥ•`ʔ⍝🤗💕

@VictoriaLove7 thank you rainbow bear 🌈🧸🤗💕

@Optimisticempath

*huggsss milky tightttt 🥛🧸💕🤗🌈🧸* How's you, Milky? 🥛🧸🥺💕

@Optimisticempath

💜💜💜💜

@LoveMyMoonflowers

Thank you flower buddy 💕 how's you?

@Optimisticempath

i'm okie opti 💜 how are you? 💜 

thank you for the love and hugs 💕

@LoveMyMoonflowers

me glad you okie 💕

me ... not so okie 😅 but its fine 🤗

@Optimisticempath

*hugs if okie?* i'm so sorry for the late reply optie 💜 but… if your not doing so okie then you don’t have to say it’s fine 🥺💜 is there anything i can do to help? :( 

@LoveMyMoonflowers im sorry i dont know flower buddy 🥺 huggles you 💕💕 how's you today?

@Optimisticempath

@RachelListener

@Optimisticempath 

@mytwistedsoul

always thinking of you too Soul🥺🥺 sits with you and keeps hugging tight ❤

i missed cups birthday and everything else too :( did you all attend any funsie events?😋

@Optimisticempath Awww sorry you missed it 😞 Went to the party in the chat room on Friday 😊 sooo many people! It was fun. Everyone cheered for you when they announced your paper plate award ❤️ 

@Optimisticempath

🥛🧸🤗💕🌈🧸

@VictoriaLove7 

<3 You matter <3 :) 

@BlueDarkAurora

me does?🥺