A Space For The Unsaid (Personal Diary)
Uh hello if anyone is reading this! 😀
I have no idea why I'm even creating this thread but i just feel it will be nice to have a place to share some thoughts or even these images on the internet that i always keep saving for myself because i relate too much but cannot share it with anyone because yes haha
I'm okay with replies here so feel free to drop by anytime ❤️
Just please be kind and respectful if your replying to my posts.
@Optimisticempath 
@AayushreeKalyani aw that's so sweet of you 🥺
sending virtual hugs back 🤗
@Optimisticempath thank youuuu!😇
@Optimisticempath
Hey Opti 🌺❤️ just wanted to check in on how your doing? You matter to us and your amazing! Hope your doing okay! we here for you <3
@amiableBunny4016
i just logged now bunwee bestiee🥺 saw your tag and soul's just now and I feel so happy you guys are really amazing and I'm crying 😭 why so sweet to me🥺
me thinking of chu also bunwee💕
I am ok I think.. existing so ok I guess.
how is you? i luv you 💕 you taking care of you?
this is a vv cute picture 🥺 me here for you also bunwee 💕 your so important and you matter so much also ... I mean it fr, your kindness really means the world to me and having such a beautiful bestie makes me feel so much grateful 🤗
@Optimisticempath
There are millions of reasons to be sweet and kind to Opti 💕 probably infinite🥺💕 and you mean so so much to the community and so many people ❤️💕 here are some reasons Opti deserves love and kindness! Just so you remember 😀💜
1. Opti is kind and caring towards other peers 💜 so therefore Opti deserves kindness and respect back 💕
2. Opti is really lovely and fun to be around 💕 always fun to chat to on forums and make me smile with sweet words! 😀
3. Opti is honest and humble and tries their best to make others smile 😁
4. Opti is a loving , beautiful caring human even tho she doesn't realise how amazing they really can be! 🥺
5. Opti is resilient and strong in so many situations and whatever life throws at Opti, Opti keeps going and stays here. Showing so much strength and love 💕
There are so many reasons Opti deserves so much more in life! 💕💕I hope you remember how special you are Opti. I'm really glad your existing *sits with you* ❤️ I'm proud of you Opti! Really really proud! *Hugs if it's okie*
Bunny
@amiableBunny4016
bestiee bunwee you don't need to be so nice to me 😭😭😭
why are you so freagging sweet 💕
ily lots and hope you're being gentle with yourself 🥺 please be nice to my bestie 🤗
@Optimisticempath
You know Opti... I don't need to be nice to you. No one is forcing me
But I want to be nice to you.
I want 😀❤️ is they key word.
How u doing by the way?😀
I know I ask this alot and I'm annoying but I just want you to know I care and I'm here for ya ❤️ we right behind you Opti.
*Hugs gently*
Bunny
@amiableBunny4016
your never annoying bunwee ❤
it feels good to have someone care and ask tbh... just that it seems I'm never fully okay, or idk what okay means any more and I don't wanna keep sharing that sad stuff always 😅 coming across so repetitive....im ok I think.
how are you?🤗 sending lots of hugs to you , please be kind to yourself ❤ you deserve love
sometimes there's a nagging thought :/ I see people here posting their goals, achievements, progress and happy things too and I never have anything to share of that kind .. makes me feel if i even do anything to feel better ... but i know already, i don't do anything ... i don't put in any efforts ... I am not trying ... Idk if I even want to try, it smh what to try for ffs and i don't feel anything ... only existing urghh which is miserable but ehhh 💤
@Optimisticempath
Are you okie, Optimus?🧸
Hang in there, it will get better. One day you will look at today and everything will be alright. 🧸
im happy for them tho 🥺
@Optimisticempath
Optimus, it is okie to not achieve, other people's progress is not a measure for your progress. Other people's achievement is not a measure of our achievement. The fact that you are happy for them is something you should be proud of. Cuz that means you are good person who can be happy for others.
@VictoriaLove7 aw it's so nice of you to visit this thread Victoryy💕 you're such a kind person 🧸
thankyou for the reminder and checking on me 🥺 it means vv lots to me
i haven't been very ok but I'm also not bothered about it i think so it's whatever ...existing still 😅
how've you been ?
@Optimisticempath
Thank you, Optimus 🧸 I think you are the vv kind one! 🧸
Have you read a book 'maktub' by Paulo coelho. I once reading and it's helpful to make us feel a bit at peace and not worrying.
(What is it that makes you not vv okie? 🥺 if you'd like to share? 🧸)
@VictoriaLove7
no it's you 🥺
oh I haven't read the book but I'll check it out when I'm feeling more motivated to read , thankyou for sharing victory 💕
(idk what to say ...i dont think there's any aspect of life im doing ok in 😅 everything keeps piling together and idk i wana stop caring for a while ... im tired..im not even doing anything but imm really just ... tired 😔)
Optimus, can I ask why you use the sad milky bear as pfp 🥺🧸 (are you sad?)
you asked this in another post Victory but I couldn't find the reply button and the comment shifted to new post so replying here if ok?😅
short answer...yeah xD i am sad D: id feel more of a lunatic if im happy at all.. in the current scenario so idk sad fits...ill anyday opt for numb tho..😬
idk why i just felt connected with this picture.. it was part of a gif i think ive shared in this diary some time back also :0 ....the bear is looking down away, hiding from everyone...me too
bears are also cute ... so ok sad and miserable and hiding and hating everything but cute 😆
thanks for asking and caring 🥺 do you have some reason for picking rainbow cup pfp too? me would love to know also
It's vv colorful like your posts for appreciations 🌈🌈
@Optimisticempath
Optimus 🧸 🤗 I read your reply earlier but i was at the grocery store and when I got home I needed to make something 😇 and have just completed it about 10 minutes ago. 🥳
So, I've just been able to reply properly now. 🤗
🥺 I know that feeling.. sometimes things can be overwhelming. And we are being hard on ourselves. It is okie to not worry or to stop thinking about them. Is there a way to like do some things that you like so that you can relax for a while and then when our mind is more relax we can feel better and start to work on things that we need to work on. Would you like to share or talk more about it? 🧸
Yes yes, I saw the full gif of milky bear 🧸🥺 there were like stuffs falling on milky bear. I will look for the story behind your pfp in this thread. The bear is definitely cute, but I hope I can cheer up milky bear and you, Optimus 🧸 so that you will not feel too sad..
Me use rainbow mug 🌈 (when I typed mug I got this emoji '🍺' 😆 ) Long time ago 😌 , when I newly joined chatrooms I didn't have pfp, then I said to someone in a room, "I want to have a cup for my pfp" But they said, 'Only com mod can have a cup for their pfp'. 🙄
So, I looked for a mug picture instead of a cup. And, it's rainbow mug cuz I like rainbow and it's a support for rainbow community too 🥳
I found cutu milky bear picture 🧸😃 (I was going to post it earlier and said, 'are you sleeping, Optimus?' 🧸🤗)
@Optimisticempath
Optimus 🧸 the cutu picture of milky bear is in my post below 🧸🤗
@Optimisticempath You've been in my thoughts dearest OptiBear ❤️
And big squeezies too! 😊😁❤️
@mytwistedsoul best soulll🥺 me missing you lots 💕💕 thank you for thinking of me, you know it means the world to me 😭
*biggest squeeezieessss* 🤗🤗🤗
how's soul doing?💕
@Optimisticempath Hey OptiBear ❤️ I've missed you too. You're in my thoughts alot and I worry sometimes if maybe I'm overwhelming you if I write too much or visit too often. That probably sounds lame. Anxiety says not to be a pita 😅 I'm ok thank you for asking ❤️ How is OptiBear doing? Is there anything we can do to help?
Where to start? Where to start?
See - I have this friend. They're an amazing person. Kindhearted and thoughtful. Always doing their best to make sure everyone is seen and heard. Just a truly wonderful and beautiful person. There's so much I'd like to say to this friend - to tell them that I wish they could see the goodness in themselves as I see it in them. That They are worth so much more than what the bad thoughts tell them. That they deserve to be loved and cared about as they love and care about others - no matter what any thoughtless or careless person has said. I'd like to tell this friend how much their presence means to me and so many others here. I'd like to tell them that they mean so much because of the person they are. Kind and thoughtful and considerate. I'd like to tell them that if they need someone to talk to or to sit with them quietly. I'm here. It's ok to share their struggles but it's also ok if they'd rather not. There's absolutely no pressure - just a gentle reminder. I don't want my friend to feel as though they have to fight or struggle alone. I'd like them to know that there are people that care about them
You see - my friend did something today that surprised me. I was touched and choked up for awhile. And it made me realize how wonderful my friend is. I was in the special events room for the Bday celebration. Listening to high five shout outs. When much to my surprise there was one for me. See what I mean? Thoughtful and so kind always. I'd like to tell them thank you. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for thinking of me. Thank you for being you. Thank YOU OptiBear ❤️❤️
@Optimisticempath
@mytwistedsoul awww Soullll🥺🥺🥺 you have the most beautiful words always 🤧😭🥺 you deserve all the kindness Soul and I wanted to shout out for your perseverance and holding strong despite the eww things life throws at you somedays 🥺 me vv proud of you always Soul ❤
*huggles tight and doesn't let.go 🤗🥺🤗🥺🤗🤗🥺🤗🥺🤗🥺🤗
@Optimisticempath
*pokes Optimus 🧸* How are you? 🧸😇
@VictoriaLove7 no good 😔 how's you? thank you for checking in Victory 🥺
@Optimisticempath
I'm okie in general..
I read your reply earlier but just got the chance to write. Would you like to talk about it, Optimus? 🧸🤗
@VictoriaLove7 did you tag me in another post also Victory? im sorry if i missed something :/ tags are wonky sometimes 😲
I'm glad you're doing okie in general 💕 how was your weekend?🧸
@Optimisticempath
Optimus 🧸🤗 yes yes, I did, I the post where I put a picture of milky bear sleeping, in one of your threads.
How's your weekend? 🧸😊
"I have this strange feeling that I'm not myself anymore. It's hard to put into words, but I guess it's like I was fast asleep, and someone came, disassembled me, and hurriedly put me back together again. That sort of feeling."
😖
"But even so, every now and then I would feel a violent stab of loneliness. The very water I drink, the very air I breathe, would feel like long, sharp needles. The pages of a book in my hands would take on the threatening metallic gleam of razor blades. I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at four o'clock in the morning." 😴
"Don't you think it would be wonderful to get rid of everything and everybody and just go some place where you don't know a soul?" 🤓
"If you're in pitch blackness, all you can do is sit tight until your eyes get used to the dark" 🤕
@mytwistedsoul soul how are you doing?🥺 thinking of you and sending you big squeezy hugs and lots of love ❤
@Optimisticempath Hey you ❤️ How are you? You've been in my thoughts. I'm doing ok I guess - it's so sweet of you to ask - thank you ❤️😊 *sending super big squeezies back to you* ❤️ and much much love 😊
Be gentle with yourself and your thoughts. Soul has added extra enchantments to OptiBear's helmet ❤️
@mytwistedsoul you guess? soul me hopes you no feel like you should be ok or answer with something positive 🥺 I'd really want you to be okay tho even better because you deserve the best but ill be here with you even when you not ok and I'll cherish you the same 💕 that's what friends do, they don't judge and they pick you up when your low .. but even better friends? they don't rush to pull you up.. they sit with you however low the bench is if that's needed too .. and I'll do that for you always .. be here to sit with you, or pick you up ... whatever you're comfy with without any rush ever ❤ you're valid and accepted and my dearest friend always 🤗
thankyou for extra care for me head 🥺 thoughts being meanie a lot again but me trying to not let them get to me too much and staying afloat whatever that means 😅
doing the same xD making peace with the not ok part idk if at this point its just ignoring but either way it's keeping me on surface which is good enough xD we no too demanding now lmao 💀
hows weather for you is it summers already? do you enjoy it? 💕 *big big squeeezieee 🤗🤗🧸
@Optimisticempath Aww OptiBear I know I don't have to be positive if I'm not - with you ❤️ That's another wonderful thing about you - there's no conditions. I can be myself ❤️ Truth is I don't really know. There's just a lot of yucky things going on right now 😞 but I'm handling it the best I can