Weekly Prompt #34: What is a long term goal you have?

@ASilentObserver oh! I don't think much about the future, so I guess there's 2 realities I want, which is to prove the doctors wrong and live well into old age. And to somehow help stop bad cults. My goal that is just a dream goal, is to be a explorer😁❤

how are you doing obs? Do you have any long term goals?

@Tinywhisper11 Those are great goals to have, tiny. Proving the doctors wrong and living a long life would show them that you are resilient. Helping stop bad cults would allow you to make a difference in the world. I believe in you and you got this. 

I am doing okay. thank you. How are you doing? My goal is to make group chats active and lively space to offer support on diversified topics to make people heard and help them in their recovery journey. 

@ASilentObserver ❤❤ your the best ❤

"long-term goals"? *cue laugh track*

I answered this last week, actually. You can read my response here if you feel inclined.

@slowdecline48 Thank you for referring me to your response, slow. I do agree with you long term goals can feel like a pathetic joke when we are dealing with chronic illness. But please know you are not alone in feeling this way. How do you feel about short term goals?

The only long-term goal I have is to live with a decent quality of life. Every day, I go back and forth on whether or not it's possible or a realistic goal to have. On bad days when my quality of life is low (most days), I cannot fathom the goal in the immediate and short-term, let alone the long term. One cannot live on positive thinking and reframing alone. It takes a community. And sadly, we live in an austere, isolated society with growing systemic failures and eroding social safety nets, where marginalized groups are being legislated out of existence.

@Zeraphim Thank you Zera for sharing. I can see how this is a challenging cycle for you. It must be difficult to feel like a decent quality of life is not within reach. Can you share more about what makes you feel this way?

@ASilentObserver

Hi, ASO,

I hope to finish my masters degree in 2 years.  Beyond that, I hope to get my first professional job.  

@purpleTree4652 Purple,  that sounds like a great plan to have. We are proud of you for taking the first step by enrolling in school.

@ASilentObserver

Oh, thank you, ASO.  I got two As my first semester.  This semester is a lot harder with life struggles and brutal classes.

@purpleTree4652 congratulations Purple and i believe in you. We will get through this hard phase too. Please continue to take your small steps and know I am rooting here for you and we are all here to support you. 

@ASilentObserver I'd like to learn to be more independent and gain more confidence in my own abilities, knowing that I can take care of myself.  I want to be able to live a comfortable, low-stress lifestyle.  I also would like to be consistently healthy, in particular to not get diabetes.

@DitaBear Those are great goals to have Bear. <3 You deserve to live a comfortable and stress-free life. What steps can you take towards reaching these goals? We are all here with you to support. 

@ASilentObserver Regarding the independent and stress-free stuff, I am in the process of going back to college right now to try to get into a better career area.  I am trying to reframe my mindset to focus on taking care of myself and to further the betterment of myself in general, and I think that includes everything from making school my main focus (and keeping myself from being too distracted by drama) to learning how and when to say no or just outright leaving if something bothers me.  I hope that one day I can get a good, steady job where I won't let myself get taken advantage of, and then eventually I want to be able to buy my own place and live on my own so I won't get bogged down by family drama either.  😊

For the "not get diabetes" part, I have been taking nice, relaxing walks every day and making better choices for eating, as well as monitoring my health via journaling and observing what certain medications do for me.

@DitaBear It sounds like you have made some great strides in taking care of yourself. Congratulations on returning to school - that takes a lot of hard work and dedication. How has it been so far?

@ASilentObserver School has not started yet, but I have been trying to keep up with some of the preparations, like financial aid and such.  I do still need help with that and filling out forms, etc. because I don't always understand how things work or what certain things mean😅

@DitaBear looks like you are already thinking ahead and taking steps to prepare for school. What's been most challenging about understanding financial aid and filling out forms?

Here are a few solid ones:

* Get 2 Master's degrees

* Reduce my weight to around 75 Kgs and get some lean muscles

* Write a book and get it published with earning cash.

@SimonNocedaStevenson That  is great, Simon. What steps can you take towards achieving these goals?

When it comes to material/items (aka the "checklist of life" that everybody always asks you about at every family gathering): definitely a house. I am saving up and working but it is so damn expensive, especially if you're trying to find a place on your own. Options are limited and prices/bids are so high. I am hoping to not settle for some kind of box with a bed and fridge where I will be unhappy.

For myself: I really want to be more healthy. Both physically and mentally! At the moment its the mental aspect that is pulling back the physical aspect. I want to change this, this year already so I can walk on a healthier and sustainable journey.

@Michelh1996 It sounds like you have some clear goals in mind for the future, such as finding a place to live and improving your physical and mental health.  What steps are you taking towards reaching these goals?

@ASilentObserver Well, I am saving up, so as time goes by I am increasing my chances of finding a house. And in the meantime I am actively keeping track of options via apps and stuff. While also ignoring social pressures around it to be patient and find the place I want and can be happy.

On the other aspect I am trying to talk more about it and going to see a therapist to hopefully help me start that change!

@Michelh1996 Very cool, Michel. you are making great progress towards your goals by saving up and actively looking for a house. Ignoring social pressures takes a lot of strength, and seeking therapy is a needed step towards finding the right support. Please continue taking your small steps and know you have all of us here to support you.

@ASilentObserver

I would like to travel, long term goal. I'm agoraphobic, so it seems like a far off dream, but I'm trying. 

@AvariceGautier

agoraphobia is so real. my s/o struggled with it for ages but he eventually managed to tackle and hold it in check. i am rooting for you!

Thank you very much! It's always good to hear about others who have struggled doing well!

@AvariceGautier It sounds like a good goal to have. You deserve to see the world. Have you always wanted to travel? We are all here with you and rooting for you. 

Thank you! And yes I've always wanted to travel.

@ASilentObserver

To be an actress and glorify God in my life

@mariainfj That sounds like a good goal, Maria. Good to see you and thank you for sharing your goal with us. What steps do you think you can take towards reaching it?

What is a long-term goal you have? 

To continue avoiding alcohol and caffeine for the rest of my life. I want to be substance free and be healthier... I miss MJ a lot of times, and ideally, would like to be off of it too, but realistically...idk...it's possible I'll come back to it...Since I've quit MJ & alcohol months ago, I've resorted to caffeine/coffee a lot lately. I hope I can just quit it all.

I guess I see long-term goals more so as a "continuous plan" rather than a "one-and-done-achievement".

For example: 
One & Done: "I want to be fluent in 5 languages when I hit XX age!" 
Versus...
Continuous: "I want to continue learning and improving XYZ languages throughout my life and study daily for XX minutes."

I say this, as I never know what will happen in life so...It's best to live in the present mindset.
I'm currently disabled, and who knows what will happen? I've had experiences where I almost became unalive -- and one of those experiences was by the hands of someone I used to love but who wanted to cause me harm...and made me more disabled...

I guess I've been feeling forlorn as well as gloom lately. It makes it difficult to think about the future, especially when circumstances keep happening and changing the trajectory of my life's path. I thought I would still be working by now, but I can't, so it throws a wrench in some plans. I thought other things in life would happen, and it didn't, and the things I thought wouldn't happen, did happen.

TLDR; For long term goals, it's best to just continue doing what one loves to do instead of saying "I'm going to achieve long term goal until XX (event/age/whatever) then stop". Anything can happen. It's just good in general to be as proactive as you possible can and do something at least once a day.

@ImpudentIncognito That's great. You have a good understanding of how important it is to stay on track with your goals. Please continue to take your small steps to being substance-free and healthy. How confident are you in your ability to maintain these habits?

@ASilentObserver I feel pretty confident in staying away from those substances, especially since its been a couple of months now. I don't like feeling hangovers from alcohol, so it was easy to quit. As for MJ... I quit because it messed with my anxiety and other functions. A major plus since quitting those substances is that I'm not wasting money on it anymore. 

A small (downside) is that the majority of my (former) friend are alcoholics and MJ smokers, so I pulled away from them and don't hangout anymore (however, there's more reasons why apart from that).

The reason I missed MJ, was the memories associated with it, which have now turnt bittersweet...and I was able to numb intrusive thoughts occasionally as I blankly stare out into the universe. It helped with my PTSD and depression momentarily, but I felt I was overdoing it and wasn't actually solving the issues for long term... I was merely using MJ to escape it instead of confronting and fixing the issues.

As far as forming good habits... it's taking a little bit of time. Its whenever I have the physical and/or mental capacity for it. I'm trying to go easy on myself and not push too hard.

I've picked up a habit of talking to penpals from other countries using this app that sends it in real time — like a real letter. I have to wait a few days for the "letter" to send or be received. It's fun.

I like to play guitar here and there and try new songs. Playing songs can be an emotional experience sometimes, so I have to put the guitar down and do something else.

I'm trying not to let past memories haunt me, I want to create new (good) ones and move forward with my life.

@ImpudentIncognito That is amazing, Imudent. You are determined to continue on this path of growth and change. And, I believe in you. Please continue taking your steps and know you are not alone in this. 

A long term goal i have is culvitating personally valuable and meaningful relationships. I also look forward to delving into a new hobby - sugar art!

@Itsaseed1 That is great. What about school makes it hard to cultivate meaningful relationships? 

My program is online so I don't have a realistic feel for people i interact with. It's enough to be in front of a computer screen for school and work ...new relationships too? It's overkill. Getting tired of the screen

@Itsaseed1 That is exhausting, seed. You must be feeling drained after long days on screens. What activities or people brought you joy or a sense of belonging?

@ASilentObserver

Writing classical books, becoming expert at Math and solving a good math problem

@seashell145 That is great. I am glad you have some goals in mind. What steps can you take towards achieving them?