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Michelh1996
5,206 M Seeking Light 8
PathStep 25 Compassion hearts615 Forum posts185 Forum upvotes313 Current upvotes313 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2024 Member sinceNovember 9, 2023
Recent forum posts
Finding balance and acceptance with binge eating
Eating Disorder Support / by Michelh1996
Last post
 August 1st
...See more So, I have been in therapy for eating disorder for a while with me going from binging really high amounts to eating very little. One of the things I had to experiment with is to try and spread things out a bit more, so eat a little more (in terms of amount or sweet/unhealthy) during the lows so hopefully the binges would be a bit lower and things would balance out a bit over time. But I have been struggling with this for a while now as eating more during these moments feels like I am now being bad/unhealthy all the time which plays with my emotions. But at the same time, I have been told to worry less about being perfect and allow myself, but this has become an argument to make it easier to get over the frustration of eating unhealthier at one end, but on the other end, when it comes to making the binges a bit lower, it has also become an easy excuse to just give in. Like "it is okay, move on, just do it, or go to the next" stuff like that.  This is really bothering me as I feel like this way, if it goes on, there are no brakes or arguments to stop me from eating unhealthy or binge. I feel like I am losing the control a little bit, and all these conflicting emotions also cause fantasizing/thinking about food to cope. The main thing is that I should feel like I don't have to be perfect and can allow myself threats, but this instead of balance, this can also fall to being extremely bad/unhealthy all the time and I feel like it is going that way a little bit and I don't know what to do at the moment.  Like last weekend, I overate a lot, even had cramps yesterday and thought that this was a good reminder to hit the brakes, like surely I am going to be healthier today because I clearly ate too much and this caused stomach issues right? Well, later that day, I am already again thinking about food, and even after holding on to the thought of wanting to not binge, I end up at the dinner table and here we go again. It is like the time between cravings keeps getting shorter and even if I plan to do one thing, I get to the eating moment and it just U-turns, like it just happens to me and I am there like, yeah, it is happening again, unable to changing it, like I am not the one doing it or making the choice, but I am still the one doing it to myself or something... Like I said, I am afraid that I keep struggling and keep giving in every time, while nog always justifying it and just keeping on the same track where I can't help myself or am in control. Anyone else who has experience with a journey of balancing, and the struggles that come with it and I am facing now?
Expectations/hype vs. time
General Support / by Michelh1996
Last post
 April 15th
...See more Anyone else finding themselves always living towards events and activities, wanting the time before to pass as quickly as possible, only to find the actual event also passing just as quick, if not quicker? 🤔 Like the build-up and hype towards a holiday like Christmas or Easter, buying stuff and planning dinners, treats or gifts and discussing them. Or a cool day out that you look forward to that happens in a few days, so you want to pass the few days before asap, the day arrives and it is just one day, that passes just as quick or maybe doesn't even live up to the build-up or expectations. An event that you look forward to for days or even weeks might just last a few hours, like a fancy dinner or something, 2 hours, poof, done, over. ✨ I have been getting more and more aware of this and it is messing with my mind a bit. I am not sure how to deal with this. Like I am stuck in a rhythm and look forward to the special moments, but they either pass very quickly which makes me ponder and wanting to turn back the time or sometimes they don't live up to the hype that I used to feel when I was younger. 🐤
Support and managing changes (reflection)
General Support / by Michelh1996
Last post
 February 9th
...See more So, ever since I have joined 7 cups it has really helped me to talk about stuff, get things of my chest and reflect on them. As wel as, trying to understand situations and trying to be more mindful and take self care into account.  🌻 But one thing I am still very much struggling with, is making the actual small changes that impact and improve certain issues or situations. I know that you can't "fix" habits and changes over night. ⏳ But still, I always feel like talking about how to do it helps a lot, but lets say on the "smallest" level, like in a moment, a good or bad decision, I still find it so hard to make the right call. Behavior is changed slowly, but for example when it comes to food, I have learned so much more about being mindful about eating healthy and talking about my struggles with it and I am a bit happier for sure. But lets say a small craving comes around or a moment where you can either make the "good" or "bad" call, I still stuggle to hold on to something to help. I've started to call it almost micro-management, which sounds like a bad thing on itself, but what I mean is that exact moment to make a small change, the decision, the single event or whatever it may be. 🕐 I feel like for the bigger picture all the support and talking, also on here, helps so much, but when it comes to that lowest level of taking action/making a decision, that is where therapy/support stops and your own tricks and ways to hold on to something start. It's in those moments that I feel like I need the help the most still, a single instant or a moment and I don't really know how to deal with it properly. 🤔 How do you get yourself to find stuff to hold onto in order to "micro-manage" your positive changes and habits in the moment? I am so curious! 😇
Anger/frustration
General Support / by Michelh1996
Last post
 January 22nd
...See more Hi, how do you all define and deal with emotions like anger and frustration? I am trying to define where these emotions can come from and how to evaluate them. For example I am experiencing a lot of frustrations at times in little things and my mood then swings into an angry state which causes me to respond angryly or frustrated to take some of this out. This sometimes just happens over small things, or things that get to me or with people, but it's not like its genuine anger, more like frustration or feeling of annoyance. Not actual rage or something like that. Which is something different? Is it anger issues? Or a certain level of anger/frustration?
Binge eating progress and new challanges (also holidays)
Eating Disorder Support / by Michelh1996
Last post
 December 22nd, 2023
...See more I've been dealing with binging for a while and am trying to make steps in dealing with them by spreading out more, allowing myself small treats. So there is less pressure on a single "opportunity" to binge and wanting to make the most of it. Hoping to slowly get rid of the high peaks of binging. And also to feel less bad about myself eating a little treat at times. I got into a situation that inspired me to make this post and get if off my chest. :) The situation was related to a visit to a all-you-can-eat restaurant. Which is a free-binge card because for everyone its a situation where you eat way too much. In fact, leaving the restaurant not being full might be a sin. So I did really well getting into the mindset of accepting it was going te be too much, and just focus on having fun, not let the food control me and it went really well! Before, I had so many moments where food controlled an event in my head and messed with the fun of the experience. I just went with the flow and ended up even eating less than I usually do in such situations -> yes, full, but there is full and full right? Stomach was ok, went light on the desserts and even skipped a round of getting food. :D I was really proud of myself, but later that weekend the craving came up slowly to get more food. Thoughts went along the lines of rewarding, but also around thinking I wouldn't be so bad to take something, because it already could've been worse. I came to this theory: going to the restaurant you accept like a bad/overdo score of 10, accepted it and had a good time, mindfull and a great step forward. But you ended up only overdoing it by a score of 8. Great! But being proud, you might crave reward for this, and 2 things happen: * You think, if I now take this extra snack of eat a lot more of this, I might go from a 8 to a 9 in terms of overdoing, but still not as bad as a 10, which is what I expected and accepted for this weekend, so still better, so it's fine, do it. * A little regret, even though it was a fun event, you sometimes tell yourself later on you could've eaten more within the limits of that score of 10, maybe 1 scoop of icecream, 1 hand of fries on the side etc. I figured this is just a new challenge coming with the progress I am making, but especially during the holidays this challenge will be very relevant for everyone. Because the holidays are full with "rounds" of food and you expect to eat wayy to much, so even if you go easy on one thing, something else comes on the table and you face the extra mental baggage of having done better than expected so far, so more room for your mind to tell you to make the most of the next one. Stimulation after stimulation, making every win harder. Any experience to share or comment is appreciated! :D
How do you stay motivated and positive during the winter/holidays?
General Support / by Michelh1996
Last post
 November 25th, 2023
...See more How do you stay motivated and positive during the winter/holidays? I'm curious! Now that it is colder, wetter and darker outsite it can be hard to stay in the right mindset. On top of that, holidays are around the corner. People are preparing for that and looking forward to it, but still there a couple weeks to get through with a lot of things that can be very gray or gloomy at times. Even when you get to the holidays, it can also bring pressure or be overwhelming to be well prepared, on your best behavior and deal with family or the challenges that come with these days. Talking consumption, interaction/loneliness, self-care and others. I find this very difficult myself as well. For example this week, because of the cold I am getting little cuts in my lips that are annoying and will not heal because they open more everytime I eat. I finally have a comfy position and my room is warm, having to get up and get something or go outside: the motivation is just lower. Want to make the effort to go for a healthy walk, it rains again...  All that stuff you know, the little things that can be big things if they're building up or if your mental health or conditions put more emphasis on them. I was having a very slow and unmotivated week myself, that's why I thought of this topic and wanted to write it out because I think it affects a lot of people during these days.  What kind of advice can we give each other? :)
How do y'all deal with cravings and portion sizes? (BED)
Eating Disorder Support / by Michelh1996
Last post
 November 27th, 2023
...See more Hi, I was wondering if there's any people with experience in dealing with cravings, portion sizes and managing this when it comes to binge eating? I have been struggling with this myself and I feel like most the time, the only way to stop a craving and move on is to give in to it. I know that even if you manage to stop one, there might be a next one to fac the next day or next week. But at least you won one fight right ;) So, yea, curious to see if anyone has tips or tricks about experience of dealing with these moments on you mind and with giving in to them, also on the level of giving in (like a bit or too much)!
Household family struggles after depression/phychosis recovery
Family & Caregivers / by Michelh1996
Last post
 November 16th, 2023
...See more So my mother has been struggling with a depression and a phychosis for a while. From the moment this happened, it turned my family situation upside down. In the practical sense, with my dad basically taking over everything she didn't want or couldn't do anymore like chores, groceries etc. Luckily she has gotten so much better thanks to therapy and medications and right now she is fine again and working to get rid of the medications that have numbed a lot of feelings for such a long time bit by bit. The thing is, that despite this improvement, she still is so very passive, mostly sitting at home, still letting my dad take care of most of the tasks and also remaining very quiet. Like when I ask stuff or want to tell her stories she is like "oh" or "ok" or "yes' and that is about it. When we discuss things as a family it is mostly my dad and me, she sometimes doesn't really respond or contribute at all. On top of that especially my dad has to put like 25 hours of work in a day to do all the stuff she could have easily done some of. Like he gets home from work, has to hurry to also get groceries or watter plants in a certain time, while she just sits around.  These problems related to passiveness and communication bother me a lot, as I struggle to connect to her and that bothers me. It also bothers me that she doesn't seem to be able or want to see this, also that she doesn't see how hard my dad is working for her. I know it is not entirely fair because its because of her condition and now the medications that still play a big part in numbing all the feeling and have done for such a long time, but still. Some moments I get annoyed, and the fact its so difficult and maybe unfair also annoy me sometimes. It feels like it has just been my dad and me, not really like I have had a mom for a long time. And blaming her for that and this current situation seems fair and unfair at the same time. So I am not really sure on how to connect or talk about it. Let alone improve it at the moment. Any stories, experiences or words are appreciated :)
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