Was it my fault???
Trigger Warning: Details about Sexual Assault
i've never really said about it to anyone. this little event happened just few months ago at my place. it was my cousin. even though I knew he wanted something from me, i still went and met him at a kinda dark alley way sorta room, hoping we could talk and talk alone. but he had other plans. I was the one talking and he was just giving one word answers. after a five minutes of silence, he initiated it. he went in for a kiss, which made me freeze head to toe. he placed my hands on him, then slipped his into my shirt trying to grasp my chest and then slid into my pants. I got a sharp flash, a picture of my initial abuser. The scene, the flashback sent chills down my spine. I begged for it to be over, and it was. he stopped and asked if I wanted to stay or to go. saw the chance and took it. I left. I went straight to the restroom trying to wash the feeling of my body. I don't know how long I stayed in the restroom, but my life turned upside down. I'm still getting the flashes of memory from the previous assault and the recent one which sometimes leads to a panic attack. I guess I made a mistake by going that day.
@lovingBeechwood6967 it is never the fault of the one being assaulted <3 you weren't at fault ....sadly we don't know who to trust and not to sometimes and then people (i dont wanna consider these people tho..they lack humanity ) take advantage.. im so sorry 😔
you're not at fault ok? it's a them problem for lacking humanity :(
vv understandable how the flashes disturb you, sending strength to you <3
@Optimisticempath thankyou so much it means a lot <3
@lovingBeechwood6967 please try to be kind with yourself 🥺
@lovingBeechwood6967 It was not your fault at all. It's their fault. Your only mistake was being too pretty XD (in a good nice way, plis dont kill me lmao). Now either ways, what's done is done and you've come to 7 cups, now we cupsers wont let you leave from here without banishing all those negative feelings and making you feel A-okay. So count on us, we've got your back :D
@awesomePiano6000 you made me smile like *** lol <3
@lovingBeechwood6967 OH! NO WONDER I FELT SUCH A SUDDEN WARM FEELING. Guess the vibes of your pretty smile travels thousands of miles XD.
@awesomePiano6000 you seem really sweet :)
@lovingBeechwood6967 for me on computer, there are like no good emojis i can use. and yes, you deserve to be hyped up ✨✨✨
@lovingBeechwood6967 you're welcomeeee, wanna be frands? (friends in my language is frands fyi lol)
@lovingBeechwood6967 ofc its a probleme if i cant msg my franddddd :(((((
@lovingBeechwood6967 you try msgin me, maybe members can msg listeners ?
@awesomePiano6000 @lovingBeechwood6967 you cannot message each other since one is teen listener account and other is adult account 😅 but you can talk in forums <3
@Optimisticempath ohhhh gotchaaaaa, thanksss lol 😂
I understand the feeling of wanting to blame yourself. Your feelings are valid. Please know that is not the case. Clearly there are some issues with your cousin for wanting to engage in that type of activity especially a relative. Sounds like your cousin needs some type of therapy to address this issue. I think you should talk/chat to everyone about this and your previous incident. Always know anyone in this community is here for you!
-Rick
@why9889 i could address the matter rick, yet I know that these people would immediately pin point to me saying where my senses were at, while taking such stupid decisions. 7 cups is becoming my last hope to saying anything and everything cause there's a limit to hiding the truth within yourself and I'm pretty sure that I've crossed it.
@lovingBeechwood6967 I'm so sorry you had to go through such an unpleasant experience. I wish you nothing but healing and recovery. Some people are just cruel and have no regards for other human beings nor the traumas they caused them. I experienced similar, but I was asleep and pregnant with his child. It took me a while to get to where I am at today. It is not your fault. That person made the decision to mistreat you in such a way. No is a full statement and answer. I know easier said than done, not to feel the guilt or shame or even being oneself, but it is not your fault.
@PhoenixButterfly97 thankyou Phoenix
and I'm so sorry that had to happen to you. sending you all my love <3
I appreciate the love and kindness💕, No problem @lovingBeechwood6967, Others' will say trauma makes you stronger but I'm not. Stuff like this is never easy nor was it asked for. My dms are always open if you ever need someone to talk too😊
@lovingBeechwood6967 Hi, I am really sorry to hear you experience(d) this. I know how you feel. I had this freezing feeling (tonic immobility) during my experience of sexual violence too. You are fault of nothing. You did nothing wrong. If you need support, please feel free to reach out for me here on 7cups. I am here to listen to you. You are to blame for nothing and you´re not alone. Greetings from me to you Blue. 💙👋
It wasn't your fault at all. How people treat you is not your fault. Just try not to treat yourself the same way. You deserve all the love. Soft kind of love. Love that heals you. Don't ever blame yourself.
Sending love and healing your way. 🫶❤️
💜@Yougotmyback that's so sweet of you 💜
Lots of love! 🫶🩷🩷🩷
