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lovingBeechwood6967
507 M Embraced 4
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts97 Forum posts39 Forum upvotes70 Current upvotes70 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2023 Member sinceJuly 10, 2023
Recent forum posts
Family issues
Newbie Hub / by lovingBeechwood6967
Last post
 July 18th, 2023
...See more It's about my parents' fight...... there's a weird tradition among my family members, when ever my father takes us out on a little trip or a picnic, he fights and stops talking to us. This has happened for a while and as we (me and my brother) left for college, this tradition kinda vanished, but only for awhile. so yesterday, we went on a trip. everything went so well. the place, the view, the atmosphere was all so calming and beautiful until a beef started between my mother and father. we don't have a car, but we do have two bikes. i usually go with my father and my brother with my mother. with the fight that started there, my father sped ahead of them, didn't say a word on our way to home. they caught up behind us, and kept the pace. it started raining, my mother and my brother stood at a bus station for shelter. they called me and said that they stayed behind till the rain slowed down. as I conveyed this message to my father, he sped past the bus station my mother was standing, even though she signaled him to stop. fast forward 45 mins, after reaching home, my father asked, with teary eyes, that why i didn't say anything about the calls that came from my mother. See, he does this thing where he doesn't respond to any of us when he is in a fight with any of us. he did the same thing and he completely turned the plate on me. so my mother and brother came fifteen mins later. they had hardly reached, my father started again. he was rude, very rude. he asked my mother why she didn't say where they were and why they sped past us. my mother got angry because non of it were true. she explained why she did what she did. but, my father, he cut the conversation and said that the things we do are really great and asked us to get out of his sight. now things got out of hand. my mom stormed, kept the helmet with a force on the table. my father, took that helmet and aimed at my mother to throw it on her, but threw it down instead. fast forward today, they still haven't talked, him and I haven't talked yet and have no intention to do so ever again. I am just really worried about my mother and her marriage. this whole thing always happens, but yesterday was intense. Trigger warning:::::self - harm; and to neutralize the pain and anger I've started self - harm again. It feels like *** here......
second day here today
Newbie Hub / by lovingBeechwood6967
Last post
 July 18th, 2023
...See more hello people :)
Was it my fault???
General Support / by lovingBeechwood6967
Last post
 July 17th, 2023
...See more Trigger Warning: Details about Sexual Assault i've never really said about it to anyone. this little event happened just few months ago at my place. it was my cousin. even though I knew he wanted something from me, i still went and met him at a kinda dark alley way sorta room, hoping we could talk and talk alone. but he had other plans. I was the one talking and he was just giving one word answers. after a five minutes of silence, he initiated it. he went in for a kiss, which made me freeze head to toe. he placed my hands on him, then slipped his into my shirt trying to grasp my chest and then slid into my pants. I got a sharp flash, a picture of my initial abuser. The scene, the flashback sent chills down my spine. I begged for it to be over, and it was. he stopped and asked if I wanted to stay or to go. saw the chance and took it. I left. I went straight to the restroom trying to wash the feeling of my body. I don't know how long I stayed in the restroom, but my life turned upside down. I'm still getting the flashes of memory from the previous assault and the recent one which sometimes leads to a panic attack. I guess I made a mistake by going that day.
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