Personify Your Depression: If my depression were a person... [fill in the blank]

If my depression were a person, she would be a little child who's lost and confused. She has been playing, laughing, messing around, crying and hurting all day but she does not know the way back home. She doesn't know what is real and what is not but all she does know is that she's tired. She just wants to go home and sleep. Away from the daylight, people, and familiar strangers; away from darkness and quietness. Away from everything. She just wants to sleep and never wake up.

If my depression were a person I would describe them as grey and almost ghost-like to where only I can see them. They are constantly attached to my leg bringing me down and have a voice that overpowers every sound heard around me because their voice is the only thing that I hear during the day. They also have the ability to slow me down and make everything I usually find fun, boring, and seem more like a chore than a hobby.

Wow, very interesting question. I never thought about it like that before!

When I think about my depression, I feel like a much younger, more vulnerable me.

Growing up my family moved around alot. My siblings and I transferred schools countless times across state lines. My Dad was always moving for work. This didn't mean that I had bad childhood, but it did often leave me feeling lonely, lost, leftout, or sometimes anxious about where I belong and who I was. These experiences really shaped who I am and they have allowed me to be able to connect with so many different types of people. I really enjoy getting to know people. Going to college were my golden years because I was able to finally stay put somewhere and build a strong circle of friends. I went out to meet people all the time and I loved it.

Fast forward several years to today (wow I can't believe its been that long already), I live by myself because my long term relationship that I was in didn't work out. I'm pretty much over it, but it has left me reeling. I'm not ashamed to say that I feel lonely. Its something that I think we all experience. But these past few years have been a struggle to get a hold of it.

My inner child who was scared, alone and lost often seems to make his presence known in alot of my thoughts. He's not a scary guy, I feel for him. He just wants comfort. And that is a hard thing to come by these days.

If my depression is a person, she'll be invisible and no one can hear her or she's just trapped inside a glass jar. Whenever she speaks or shout at the top of her lungs, no one seemed to care. She grew tired of trying so she just lie down waiting for time to pass by, people around here just walk past her, rushing off to their daily lives while she'll just be existing.

@wontwakewontsleep, this is such a great idea! (:

If my depression had a name, it would be Misery. That is exactly how depression feels - miserable. It would look like a human suffering immensely, going through many emotions of sadness, anger, and numbness while trying to juggle everyday tasks. They would be exhausted 24/7, so they would move slow & have difficulty socializing.

There gender changes, but it's like smoke. You can see it and you feel like you should be able to brush it away. But its stays firmly there.

My depression in personified would look like a ghost.

Fran Drescher. Constantly nagging and laughing inappropriately.

If my depression was a person, she's the part of me that died. She's the parts of my soul that shattered at traumas. She's the parts of my heart that chipped away at heartaches. She's the part of me that broke away and watched blankly as I screamed under the pressures of life because she could feel no more. She's the part of me that is broken. She wants gone, she sees no point to anything. She's manipulative and cynical, always dressed in a black robe- like a widow. She keeps trying to drown in the rivers of thought, but as long as I stay afloat she can not die. She hates me for keeping her here.

I can't see it, but i know it's here. It's like it's constantly telling you that you are not good enough and that you do not deserve the things that you have. It's like it's someone that you look up to and that person always tells you that you are doing everything wrong and you are just messing up everything. It's someone that constantly cheers on your failures. It's something that scares you so much and brings so much anxiety and keeps you worried that you feel like sometimes there is no getting out of that situation. It tends to make you think about things and "solutions" and on the spot you find it like a good idea without even thinking about the impact that this action will have.

If my depression were a person, I would thank it and be grateful for being with me and made me a stronger person. I would tell it that I no longer need them anymore and that I am ready to face the world.

Depression for me is a mindset. I just want to be able to love someone and have it back. Its like a black sheep i just want to be able to have what they have but i cant because i just end up lonely and wanting to be apart of them. I dont to feel lonely anymore and have a chance to experience something ive never felt before. I just want to feel something. I dont want to be alone anymore.

This is kinda funny because to me atleast one of the deep roots of my current depression is a person in my head.

My depression is a person, they are trapped, scared and alone. They don't want to comprehend what happened to them and it lives in a place so alone it has not connected with reality in a long. It doesn't know how to let go of the past and the ghosts it brings. It hates itself and it is hated for what it allowed to happen. They are very very cold, they can never get warm. They are exhausted, they have given up. My depression is a girl and it wants so desperately to be saved yet it knows it wasn't.

Depression is some kind of beast. Every face different, every face the same. I recognize so many of them, so many shout outs (crackedglass here on page 24 for one).

My own depression is an old blanket i carry with me everywhere. Since forever. Like linus in the Peanuts cartoons. It's my oldest friend, my one true and faithful companion. My safety blanket, wrapped around my shoulders in the dark and tucked under my chin while i sleep.I honestly do not know myself without it. Seen from the outside, it is the millstone around my neck, the anchor at my heels. But i cannot escape it. I am too afraid and even if i wasn't, i am unable. It has fully corrupted my mind against any reason. It's literally all the identity i have left.

It hates me like i hate me. It believes everything i think or say or do is stupid and worthless, just as i do. We agree on everything, a perfect match! I cannot see past it and i cannot imagine living without it. We are one, my depression is me. The coat i wear even as i sweat by a fire. The rope i reach for as it drags me underwater. Honestly, I don't know any other way to be.

Please excuse all the miserable metaphors. I really am lost. and depression is my guide.

I hope we all find a better way.

My depression would be named 'broken' (I don't know why). It is broken because my self-confidence, my self-esteem, my optimistism are all broken. I'm feeling lost and I can't find any way to make it believe to myself that I can live like a normal person. My depression may not be deep like many of you, but still I can't find way to get out of it. I'm in a maze and every path seems broken. I can't escape anywhere.

If my depression was a person, she'd be me. Just the thinest layer over my skin, like a layer of dust I've worn for so long I no longer remember what it feels like without it. So thin I can't tell the difference between my depression's weight and my own body. Not a nagging voice in my ear but a slight echo that arrives before my own thoughts.

A lone sailor without a compass or a map

If my depression was a person, their name would be Loneliness, because that is what it makes me feel. It would also probaly be genderless, just following me around wherever I go, never getting off my back, like a shadow but even when it's dark it's there attached to me like a tumor. I try and feel better for a moment, and when I do I see it disappear and I feel weightless and happy. But something awakens it, and now here it is, on my back again, weighing me down like a rock chained to my ankle and I'm sturggling for breath but no one can see or hear me struggle, because I hide it all with a smile. I put on a mask and laugh and smile and let people know I am fine when in reality all I want to do is curl up and cry, but I can't even do that because my brain won't let me, I am too numb to cry now, just sitting here in my room wanting for the day to end so I get to start another boring and stressful day that is my life. I can't wait to die, because there is no way I will ever be strong enough to take my own life.

I cannot describe it as a person, but I can describe it as a creature - it is definitely a dementor from Harry Potter series. An ugly black "ghost" taking my energy, love, joy and everything that is good..

@wontwakewontsleep

it would probably be someone who just keeps pestering you... acts so nice but then destroys you slowly..

definitely a Tina, she’s not an optimist she would say she could major in cynicism though and she just feels alone a lot but she’s not scary, she’s trying her best she’s just being dragged down by life and that sucks.

My depression is a fat, inert person who have no wishes, no desires, no goals, no any taste of the life. That one who totally gave up on the life... Err, I mean it is an incredibly fat person who is immovable like a mountain and too lazy to do anything :'D

It would be an obnoxious, abusive, annoying strongman who constantly follows me, overpowering my every word and thought. It tells me that everything I do, say, or think is useless, stupid, and not worth it

@wontwakewontsleep

When I think of my depression, it isn't an actual person, but a shadow that constantly reminds me not to get too attatched to people. It whispers about how if I get too attatched, them leaving (or dying) will be too painful for me to bear. Just it's presence makes me feel heavy and sluggish. Even doing the things I used to love and enjoy don't make me happy anymore because the shadow never leaves my side. It seems like something easy to get rid of, but it is always there, 24/7. I can't handle loss and abandonment because of past experiences, and the shadow never forgets to remind me. When im with someone I love, it forces me to imagine the pain of losing that person. The pain of that person abandoning me. If everyone leaves, the shadow will be all I have.

If someone is reading this, thank you! This is my first time publicly sharing my experiences with depression and it feels really good to write it down.

As silly as its sounds my depression would be Regina George. At first seems to be harmless and unassuming, but slowly starts to undermine your confidence and anything positive. Two-faced and talks behind your back when she knows your listening. Creating a false comfort where you fall into it even though you know it'll make things worse. It just gets easier to live under her thumb instead of fighting back.

If my depression had a name it would be Hurt

If my depression were a person, it would be a ghost in a big lonely house where no one else has lived or died. It would be a ghost who walks the halls at night just to hear the wooden floors creak under the weight of each step. It would be a ghost who floats along like that feeling you get in your chest when you’re not quite there. He is not tethered to this earth, but not allowed to leave it either.

If my depression was a person, it would be the lone hiker lost somewhere in the mountains, not able to find the familiar trails taken before - scared and cold and looking for anything familiar as a guide.

If my depression was a person his name would be River. He just sits on the bank and wades in the water silently and numb, hoping one day the river swallows him.

If my depression were a person, they would be the sort of person who does everything with a false smile. They would be the person to always wear a bright smile that never meets their eyes, always thinking what they will never say.

This actually the question alone kinda well it ended a panic attack...

I've all ways sorta personified my depression and his friends. But now fleshing them out.... it feels good.

I feel my depression is a tall strong and sad, forlorn in soft brown eyes, you see he use to be my rock my shield my protector when I was scared. The one who helped me calm center, my cheerleader. He use to be the voice of reason, a big brother to his little sister me. He knows hes falling appart, he knows his attempts are only making it worse. He isnt the bad guy, hes not even evil. Deven never was, he would all ways be there to catch happy when she fell. Soberly saying it's ok. But hes tired and worn out and the room mates are keeping happy in his closet. Chester is anxiety a demonically possed a skinny slimy crack addict guy who use to be just a little bit nervous of failure. Chester knows he should get off the drugs, should see a priest. But he listens to no one, chester is done listening could be the drugs loneliness who is a witch with a b who happens to be his shady drug dealer. Named lola, while my low self esteem named penny whispers horrible things. Which cases deven to drink... and chester to do well the drugs lola sells. Mean while pride, locked up the other emotions. And humility is kinda trying to get happy out of sevens closet. Currently my inner demons lola, penny deven and chester are sitting on the couch playing gin rummy while they watch re runs of stupid shit I said bloopers. Bleep I'm just gonna write and poorly draw this as a comic book.... the drama those asshats get into would make a great freaking read. Also could someone tell Melvin my lack of motivation that if he keeps crashing over hes gonna have to bleeping pay rent.

This actually is pretty darn therapeutic I'm gonna keep doing it.

If my depression was a person, they would be a lazy, lifeless person who nobody knows their name, but they know what they did wrong.

Also, they would be blue. Really blue. Blue represents sadness. But it would also be clear. No colors at all. Empty.

@wontwakewontsleep

So, if your depression were a person, what kind of person would it be?

If my depression was a person, it would be an angry little girl that hides in a closet. She will dominate my emotions sometimes to the point where I dissociate and see things from her view: this person is mean, this person hates me, this person will leave me. I then lash out and am not aware of what i'd said. Next thing I know, the one I love is hurt. She likes to sabotage me, confuse me, and sometimes overwhelm me to the point of break down. Her appearance would be similar to that of Samara from The Ring is the best way I can explain her.

(cool question thank you!)

If my depression were a person, it would be a sad, heavy person that always insists on me giving it a piggyback ride as soon as I get out of bed. They would be clingy, and always be holding onto me in some way. I can always see them having really long black hair, with one eye showing through their hair. They wear baggy, dark clothes, and are tired all the time.

If my depression were a person..

They would be always emotionless, angry and sad, crying often but with no reason. They are always thinking of something.. The have dark thoughts too in mind. They would wear dark blue clothes and eyes always far away.

Always sitting in dim light place, like some window edge or room. Listening to sad and ambient music.. But sometimes just laying on bed crying or laying on with empty eyes, thinking something and sad. Also getting irritated time to time..

Not wanting to be in this world, but in a peaceful and good world 💙 where there is no bad and no people who judge or say something always which is bad. The world would be just good and beautiful 💙

(I just wrote my thoughts, don't mind me 😅)

@wontwakewontsleep hey! good luck on healing <3

If your depression were a person, what kind of person would it be?:

if my depression were a person, they'd be tall. looming over me like an intimidation tactic. their hair would be dark, and their eyes would be sunken in like they get no sleep. their skin would be wan, limbs bony. they'd walk with a hunch, dragging their feet. they'd speak with a deep mumble. they'd be the type of person to snap at people to push them away (if i'm mean, they won't like me. if they don't like me, they won't care if something happens to me). they'd be just like me, but perhaps sicker

it would be a person who wants to be self-shelled in order to self-protect. it would be very sad and annoyed person who strives to unreachable perfection. it would be a weak and cranky person who is childish and lazy. it would be a gourmet and it would like to sleep a lot. it would love to play games and read books and listen music. it would like to wander around. it would feel lonely and left out but still would feel weird in presence of others. it would be a child with traits of an old man. its appearce would tell anyone that it is beaten and injured. it would crawl slowly in the storm dreaming about flight which would never happen in real. it would probably have no name but would be nicknamed as Spark.

@wontwakewontsleep

I imagine my depression as a hooded figure that just kinda sits in the corner of the room. It’s never acknowledged, mostly on purpose on my part, but it’s impact is always felt. Loneliness, inadequacy, or just a general “funk”. Some days its impact is greater than others, or becomes stronger with certain thoughts or situations, but it’s always there, lingering, waiting to turn a decent day sour for seemingly no reason.

I have used this technique (without knowing it was a thing) to explain to my cousins why I'm aloof and don't spend time with them sometimes. Since they are too little to understand what depression is, I told them that I have with me a little devil. She's not always with me, she comes and goes.

But when she visits, she is insanely possesive, she wouldn't let me talk to anyone, she wouldn't let me do the things I like to do, she wants me to be with her all the time. She even makes me so angry that sometimes I take it out on the ones around me. That's the only reason I don't spend time with them sometimes, because they don't deserve my anger.

Of course I told them it's not a literal devil, it's the way I feel but they understood what I was saying when I used this little devil as an example. They understood it's not them I have a problem with, it's just that I was trying to protect them from my bad moods.

When you are going through a depressive episode, you tend to do that. You build a wall around you so that you won't hurt others....and others can't hurt you.

In my case, the little devil is my official bricks and concrete supplier when I build the wall.

My depression is really a person who i feel like i have no competition against. Its all my insecurities into one person like. He's obsessive and makes me take bad decisions and takes the sane part of me away. He is big and i submit myself to him every now and then.

@wontwakewontsleep

So, if your depression were a person, what kind of person would it be?

it’d be an obsessive lier who constantly gaslights me and guilt trips me and make me second guess every little thing I do. And it’d be a dark loomy shadow that steals all the light and the colourful world around me so all I can see is a world in black and white.