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- Personify Your Depression: If my depression were a person... [fill in the blank]
Personify Your Depression: If my depression were a person... [fill in the blank]
Personify Your Depression: I learned about this coping technique today. Imagine that your depression is a person separate from you. The idea is that personifying our depression helps remind us that depression doesn't define who we are ourselves, and that invasive self-critical thoughts we experience often come from our depression and not our healthy minds. Some things to think about are: what kind of person would it be, what kind of hobbies would it have, what would it look like, what would its name be?
So, if your depression were a person, what kind of person would it be?
If my depression were a person, they'd often hold onto me so tight I couldn't get off the sofa or out of bed. They'd keep rattling off a list of all the things I need to do while sitting on my chest with their full weight. If I tried to go outside, they'd call on their buddy OCD to discourage me.
Having been around me for so long, they'd know me inside out and regularly convince me they're the only one who will stick around, while everyone else will recognise me for the burden I am at some point and make a quick escape.
Most importantly, they'd always be nearby, sometimes lurking just around the corner and peeking out randomly to remind me they're there. They would only fully show themselves in front of very close people. With everyone else, they'd hide inside my head and motivate my anxiety to show me in detailed pictures all the dangers of showing depression to anyone else. Thus, most people will conclude that depression is just an imaginary friend of mine, and that I should just leave them behind.
If depression were a person, I'd want to kill them, but they'd be so intertwined with me that we can only die together. And anyway, I'd be way too scared to face life without them, because they've been around so long I'd have no clue who I'd be without them.
If my depression were a person it would be an overweight sad woman in her bathrobe who didn't have energy to comb her hair overeating and not liking herself or her looks feels worthless
If my depression was a person...
If my depression was a person, it would be a silhouette of myself. You know, kind of like a walking shadow. I imagine that all she does is silently haunt people and mock them, bitter at the world for being alone. I bet that her tone is scarcastic, maybe even hollow in a sense, its not like anyone can see her. She must be artistic, painting the red fall leaves on the smooth flat earth, every single day when the nights get too cold. She probably has armor made of cotton, but a mask made of steel. She is unpredictable, deadly to everyone and herself. She is just like me. She must be me.
She would be an emotional sucking vampire. She would get all of the attention. She would tell me all the bad things about myself and take over my life.
Shed been ghost. Someone who disappears and reappears when you least expect it. Shed haunt me at night telling me my biggest fears and my worst insecurities.
If my depression were a person, I would finally, FINALLY tell it to f*ck off, and then take its beating heart and crush it to a thousand pieces with a sludgehammer. And then, I would go home and take the longest amount of sleep I have ever gotten.
My Depression is a person; its me; I've fought with it it my whole life but it has finally won. It has absorbed me. It is dark, moldy, heavy. It clouds my thoughts. It stays in bed. It overeats and never brushes its teeth. I am only slightly aware of the difference between us. I have lost sucessive battles...and now I lay in its dirth, in its fugue, not even caring enough to be sad or angry...I don't remember any other way.
Just a cold, black, damp gooey sploge that eats away at thoughts of how to feel better, living inside a shell which is forced to be kept alive, me
I've always felt that my depression was this demon riding on my back, but it's made of this black sludge and it whispers things to me. Sometimes I'm strong enough to ignore it, but no matter what it's always on my back.
Mines more like a thick fog and deep dark water. Keeping me isolated and sinking. So cold it numbs everything and all I can think is, "how the hell am I supposed to survive this?"
It would be like one of those people who are really clingy. It would stay by my side 24/7 making sure I don
If my depression were a person it would take my life from me and my joy it would suck dry all my emotions and control me- but it doesn
If depression were a person, it would look like Atlas holding the weight of the world on his shoulders. If depression were a person it would like person always holding on tight to someone and never letting go - almost as if they were an actual parasite.
If my depression were a person, it would be on trial for murder, because it killed all hopes inside of me.
It would be Dean from Supernatural. So devoted, aggressive, self-blaming, feels isolated even though he has a brother and still believes it is only himself that can go down the hard road and has to make sacrifices. But still cool tho...
I would ask them to go away and let go of whatever they have against me. To just leave me alone so I can be HAPPY AGAIN!
If my depression were a person I would understand it. It's existence was pretty inevitable bc of my PTSD and that xan be blamed on living people.
But for all the times it made everything worse I would yell at it for sucking the joy out of me I would yell i was once a happy open loving person you know!? And it would say yes I know but then the trauma happened and you were a terrified broken person and it's only natural you stopped living. It would tell me I was lucky to have it with me always to wallow in the sadness with
And I would tell it like my eating disorder I understand it. I really do. I don't blame myself anymore though. So there's really no use for either of you so could you please f off and let me live my life? Stop making me I idealize my death and think it's the only solution to my situation stop telling me no one loves me and they only do bc we went through trauma together and if it didn't they wouldn't need me that they only put up with me bc I'm a burden but I protect them. Please stop making me re think every damaging thing I already have it doesn't help! I shouldn't have to worry about a fire or flood or will I be raped again every night I shouldn't have to imagine the deranged memories that is my father. Can you please just let me breathe alone in my bed for a minute without thinking "yes good skinny not skinny enough not enough" and then when I get a little bit over worrying abt it the entire day thinking "your fat and worthless now" like my life just stops mattering.
Bc none of that's right. I have real loved ones and suffered enough and after all it I looked at myself and realized I wittled myself down I've physically torn apart myself. I never wanted to but it's all I knew. And I am sorry to myself. Not to you trauma or depression or obsession or anorexia. But to me bc I was just a girl. I'm still a girl. A kind smart beautiful girl and I didn't deserve any of that.
So just stop hurting me bc enough already has. I really don't need you anymore. The sad thing is I never did. How dare you take even more from me and my life.
If my depression were a person, it would be me. The person who's making me suffer is just me. I'm the one who's not talking to anybody, I'm the one who's barricading herself in her little room of solitude, I'm the one who's not helping anybody and who keeps complaining about her sadness, I'm both the culprit and the victim.
If hypothetically my depression were a person, I would treat it the way it makes me feel, kind of. It makes more sense in my head. But if it were a person, which sometimes it can be, I would honestly just treat him/her as badly as i possibly could just so they could understand even the slightest hair of a bit of how I feel on a second basis.
If my Depression was a person...
It would be a little girl. A child version of me constantly crying and begging me to stop cause whenever I move or think or breathe it's hurting her. Every day I'm alive is a stab of pain for her cause disassociation is a b*tch and every memory I have of being her is black, or random images or terrifying noises. Banging and quick, sharp breaths. "It's just a game" and "GO TO BED YOU LITTLE B*TCH!". I'm forgetting her, so she's becoming something I hardly recognise, and she wants me to stop.
I tried to write to this prompt the other day, but what I described wasnt my depression, it was my lost and scared inner child who feels abandoned still. I found him in a dark place within myself, and have since been treating that part of myself with compassion instead of self-loathing. What I thought was a terrible and contemptable part of me is only a scared little boy who could use a little understanding. Thank you for the prompt. It's been helpful.
If my depression where a person. It would be a very strong scary person. Because it scares me, everytime I take a step to positivity it pulls me back and holds me from moving forward. I feel like I am being tied up with chains.
Mine would be a figure, barely human, more like a ghost or demon, all black. its bend forward and walks slowly but steadily next to me, spreading this negative smoke of energy. when im surrounded by its smoke, its hard to see everything because the smoke is so dark and thick and it burns in my eyes.
My depression would be named Sam. She would have a few "hobbies," but she'd never be able to find the time or energy to do them, and if she does get the chance to do them, she never enjoys them fully. She sleeps too much, has poor hygene, and never really has the energy or motivation to do what needs to be done, and yet she never really fails at anything, etiher. If she ever did, it would break her completely. So instead, she doesn't try very hard, keeps expectations low, and does the bare minimum of what she needs to do to survive. She is faking it until she makes it, but she knows - her one Truth - she will never be good enough.
A person that enjoys seeing people hurt. Someone that feeds off others pain. Selfish. Demanding. Manipulative.
If my depression were a person shed be happy, confident, positive on the outside but gloomy, broken, and lonely on the inside. Shed want to make everyone as happy as they can be but wouldnt be able to make herself happy. Shed love endlessly but not be able to receive it in return /:
My depression person is a manipulator. She looks for even the smallest shread of negativity and continues to pester me about it until itsi all I think of, even on a good day. She continues to remind me of my faults and failures, until she convinced me that she's all iIcan rely on. She never says or does anything helpful, and just sponges off of me till I have nothing left to give-- then criticizes me for not having more. Everything she does is centered around keeping me under her control.
@kiwibear918 *cluches heart* me too. Always *wipes tears*
If my depression was a person, they'd be the biggest freeloader in history.
It would take different forms sometimes like a shadow, sometimes like a girl made of ice. I would find a way to trap it, hurt it, and kill it so it would never hurt me again
if my depression were to be a person. Her hair and eyes would change colors depending on her mood. Blue if she was sick and tired of herself and red if she hates herself entirely. She has a hard time speaking to people that are living there best life but has a easier time speaking to people that are in the same dilemma shes in. She wakes up feeling beautiful but after 10 seconds questions what she is doing alive still, what her purpose. Why her hair is thinning or why her feet are huge? after an hour of complaining about herself she goes back in her bed and sleep because thats when she feels beautiful.
This sounds a whole lot better in my head Oh my god criticize softly guys this is a hot mess wow.
@Saturation: no, never criticizing! "she goes back in her bed and sleep because thats when she feels beautiful." - that's beautiful in a sad, heart-rending way, and sadly, sometimes how I feel as well...
(hug)
If my depression was a person, she would claw at my brain and my chest, shredding me apart, causing me so much pain until suddenly Im empty and the pain overwhelmed me so much, that I dont feel anything at all. Sometimes, she leaves me alone, but her shadow is always nearby. Sometimes she goes on holiday, and I dont see her for a while. Sometimes she smothers me with her dark coat and suffocated me. Sometimes she fills me up with tears and emotion. Sometimes she drains it all out of me.
@idontknowwhattohaveasmyusername I will ponder this myself. Nice post.
