2) Community Questions and Answers - The Basis of Mental Health Awareness and Support

@SoulfullyAButterfly Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

My Answer-We all go down this path sometimes, don't we? Ashamed of ourselves, the fear of abandonment that the person will leave us because we are not good enough for them. And then we try to fix these things by changing our behaviours and patterns in a very unhealthy way. And this only causes self-sabotage and we end up losing so many traits and things about us that we used to love. It is important to know that love and validation are crucial in any kind of a relationship but overthinking about what we aren't/can't do, we can instead think and try to do the things that we can do to make the person feel loved, better and in turn, us feeling special and cared for. It is twisted, I know. But in the end, we all learn from our experiences.

Not feeling good enough for someone is one of the signs of low self esteem. Your parents and partner may deeply care about you but you constantly feel that there’s something that’s missing in you that makes you not worthy of the love and affection.

It’s very important to realise that you are an amazing person and deserve care and affection. Realise that your self worth is not based on the standards our society and social media has set. You need to focus on improving your self esteem.

The good news is that raising one’s self esteem is a pretty easy task. You need to increase your consciousness, your awareness. Be aware of your triggers, your emotions, negative self talk, your strengths and weakness, the way you handle opportunities and interact with other people. Our whole life, we face situations where our inner critic may tell us that we are not ready yet or are not good enough. This self doubt is the real reason for the lowering of our self esteem. Do realise that we are only human beings and are not perfect. Your flaws may be the most beautiful attribute for someone.

If you feel that you are not able to identify or understand your triggers, do consider therapy. Self Awareness helps us to work on our emotions and self confidence, choose health relationships, helps us to communicate our needs and boundaries with our partner and deal with problems in life with a better approach.

Become the best version of your self and empower others. Thank you.

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Not feeling good enough for someone is one of the signs of low self esteem. Your parents and partner may deeply care about you but you constantly feel that there’s something that’s missing in you that makes you not worthy of love and affection.

It’s very important to realise that you are an amazing person and deserve care and affection. Realise that your self worth is not based on the standards our society and social media has set.

You need to focus on improving your self esteem. The good news is that raising one’s self esteem is a pretty easy task. You need to increase your consciousness, your awareness. Be aware of your triggers, your emotions, negative self talk, your strengths and weakness, the way you handle opportunities and interact with other people. Our whole life, we face situations where our inner critic may tell us that we are not ready yet or are not good enough. This self doubt is the real reason for the lowering of our self esteem. Do realise that our flaws and limitations make us human beings. Your flaws may be the most beautiful attribute for someone.

If you feel that you are not able to identify or understand your triggers, do consider therapy. Therapy does not fix us but makes us more aware about ourselves. Self Awareness helps us to work on our emotions and self confidence, choose health relationships, helps us to communicate our needs and boundaries with our partner and deal with problems in life with a better approach.

Be the best version of your self and empower others.

Thank You.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Days, when the voice inside us whispers you are not good enough, are the days when we are a little less kind to ourselves, are the days when we think we are worth a little less, are the days when we are a little less confident about ourselves and are the same days when we are little less loving towards ourselves.

But; to think where is this all coming from? Why are we feeling so? What is the reason behind this? What is the right thing to do? Well, there can be many reasons and it all comes down to one word which is self-esteem.

What is Self-Esteem, In psychology, the term self-esteem is used to describe a person's overall subjective sense of self-worth or value. In other words, self-esteem may be defined as how much you appreciate and like yourself regardless of the circumstances.

Self-esteem tends to be lowest in our childhood and increases as we grow older eventually reaching a fairly stable point.
Our concept of self-worth is affected by our close ones like parents, family members, partners, friends etc.

On the darker days when we are engaging in negative self-talk when our inner critic is pushing us towards the valley of self-doubt and our self-confidence at its lowest, life feels colder are harsher.

But, the good news is you are an amazing person! We are all human beings who struggle through life. Our whole life is a journey and the best way to go through is by taking little steps at a time.

So, the first step would be to acknowledge that yes indeed you are an amazing person, no matter what your mind is telling you in the darkest moments is not a real reason behind your struggles.

As human beings, we are social animals and our lives consist of various relationships so working on having healthy relationships by having good communication is really helpful on many levels. This is one of the ways to improve our inter-personal relationship -our relationships with others.

what about ourself? Our intra-personal relation? Well, journaling, meditating can be few ways to help us improve in that area, it will help us to gather more information about ouraelves. And even then if you find it to be little difficult on your own, then therapy is always a way to go.

At the end of the day, you matter the most! And that little voice inside you needs to be heard. Goodluck, you will have good time where great things will come and you will be better person than you were.

When you have the feeling of "not being good enough", getting to the root of the issue is always the first step. You also want to ask yourself questions such as;

1) Why do you feel this way?

2) Has someone in particular made you feel less than and so you feel less than with everyone you come into contact with?

3) Is there a deeper issue at hand that you might need to uncover to explain these feelings?

4) Do I have an insecurity that I need to deal with on my end?

Most often then not, we have experienced a moment in our lives where we were told something or treated a certain way which has set these feelings in our minds. Or, we have issues that are deep rooted (being insecure with ourselves) which only we alone can take care of.

Maybe it is time to approach that person who has made you feel such a way. Ask them face to face if you have done something to them with has in turn made them treat you this way. Was it maybe something that you had said that at the time, you were unaware of it and now are left with these feelings. In my experience, being honest with yourself and with others more often then not, gets you the answers that you have been looking for.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

One thing that makes a session, at times, hard, is my self-doubt. I worry that I can't say the right words to make them feel understood, while keeping anonymous.

Say that a member says:

• "I am so frustrated because my parents don't understand that I am having a hard time."

I think, "Hmm, how can I best support them..." I say:

• "First off, I just want to let you know that you are an amazing person for reaching out for help! It can be hard to open up to someone."

I think that's a good introduction! Next, I will use all the lessons that I have learned from My Path. It is a helpful place for suggestions. I really want to become a success listener!

@SoulfullyAButterfly

This is a great question as so many of us struggle with it. Often times it has to do with our self worth and self love. If we view ourselves negatively then we frequently are going to feel like we aren't good enough for others. The best way to shake this feeling off is to take some time to yourself to relax and start loving yourself again. That could be through self care or taking the time to do an activity that raises your self-esteem. Family, spouses, friends, coworkers, etc. are all people we try to be good enough for but the truth is that with some people we will never achieve this. Instead, try to remember the amazing person you are. What matters is how you view yourself, not what others think. You control your destiny and only you can decide how it will go, not someone who you can never be good enough for.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

At times, all of us go through a phase of feeling like we are not good enough. There is no one way or "best way" to solve this problem because it ties into our self-esteem and different people deal differently with their self-esteem issues. However, this universal problem could be dealt with by utilising certain guidelines such as:

1) Realising and reflecting on the problem: Try to reflect on why you feel the way you do.

2) Talking with someone about the problem: After figuring out why you feel this way, try to talk to someone about it. Communication could help with widening our perspective. This could be through therapy or simply talking to your family members — whatever works for you!

3) Reach a solution oriented towards you: After reflecting and talking about your problem, try to come up with a solution that would be best suited for you. At the end of the day, you know yourself the best.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Q - Why do depressed people push loved ones away?

Keywords: am i depressed, how to support/help someone depressed, how to talk to someone with depression, do i have depression, pushing people away psychology, self isolation, helping people with depression, depression symptoms, feeling sad, how to help a depressed friend

People who are depressed tend to question, ‘Am I depressed?’ a lot. As such, this has also happened to me.

Although we ultimately understand that our loved ones have our best interest, when we feel depressed, with or without specific reason(s), we are oftentimes confused from the rumination itself. It’s not something we can explain to those we push away, thus we mostly just self-isolate to save ourselves from having the tough conversations.

Negative thoughts grow at an exponential rate during these times, hence, thinking and simply believing that nobody likes being around someone depressed can be one of the reasons for pushing people away. Being so, we are constantly afraid that one might eventually become tired of our depressed self and leave us. Attachment issues and fear of abandonment can also be factors of tendency to drive people out when things are getting serious between two or more people.

An approach that made me feel specially supported during those times was when a close friend decided to step up and talked to me in a way that didn’t require me to explain much of what it was that I was going through. Because honestly, I didn't understand it at that time either. I didn't feel pushed or forced to provide an explanation but I was reassured by their actions that there is someone who truly cares by showing patience and genuine care when dealing with me. And only then, I felt safe to open up with them slowly.

Bottom line, I hope those who are trying to support someone in depression are also taking care of themselves before anything else.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Feeling like not being good enough for someone is one of the worst things I have personally struggled with and I now understand that many of us feel this way.

We, as human beings, are constantly trying to be a better person or striving to do the right thing, and when we feel like we are not performing at our best, we deserve to give ourselves negative self-talk.

Chances are, as children, we may have lived through experiences that deterred our self-confidence. Or, as we grow up, we have had bad relationships that led us to have low self-worth. In addition to that, living through the digital age, social media is one of the easiest ways to impact our inner critic because we just can’t stop comparing ourselves with people on our screen.

It’s a hard pill to swallow but the first step to battle with our low self-esteem is to be patient with ourselves. Give yourself the time to think through how far you have come, achieving the things - whether big or small - at some point that scared you. Building a healthy relationship with a partner, family members or friends whom we can communicate with can help us promote the self-love that we tend to miss. As much as these have helped me, at the end of the day, it is vital that you find your voice in any way possible to make you feel that you are an amazing person all along. I wish anyone struggling with this, good luck in your journey!