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Work Prompt #6: What matters most to you in your current situation?

User Profile: ASilentObserver
ASilentObserver December 8th, 2023

Welcome back all, I hope you are all taking it easy on yourself at work this week.

Last week we discussed: How do you adapt to change and embrace new responsibilities? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.

This week's prompt: What matters most to you in your current situation?

I wanted to start a discussion on your current situation at the workplace and personal life. A lot goes in there regardless of what others see on the surface. One experiences a wide range of emotions in a day. So, I look forward to hearing and discussing with you all!


Join the Group Chats today! 

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User Profile: Jaeteuk
Jaeteuk December 8th, 2023

I've been focusing on my own mental health for work. Avoiding things or people that would upset me, and trying to calm myself down by thinking of positive thoughts.

@ASilentObserver

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User Profile: ASilentObserver
ASilentObserver OP December 9th, 2023

@Jaeteuk I am glad focusing on your mental health at work is very important to you right now. Maintaining your well-being by avoiding difficult people or situations and focusing on positive thoughts shows real self-care. What aspects of focusing on the positive have you found most helpful for your well-being? 


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User Profile: Jaeteuk
Jaeteuk December 9th, 2023

Sorry Obs, my brain is not working properly. I don't understand what your question means.

I've been sick with the cold.

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User Profile: communicativePond1728
communicativePond1728 December 9th, 2023

@Jaeteuk that's a good idea. Smart! How do you stay calm and stuff?

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User Profile: Jaeteuk
Jaeteuk December 9th, 2023

With this problematic colleague, just looking at how she works, frustrates me and I feel my blood boil. So, nowadays, I just walk away. Not be in the same area she's in.. take deep breaths and start distracting myself with other thoughts that make me smile. I do a little self-talk. Tell myself to calm down and think of how I only need to out up with her for a few more months before her retirement next year.

1 reply
User Profile: Suen00
Suen00 December 16th, 2023

@Jaeteuk

I like your strategy!! Basically seeking positive interactions and avoiding negative encounters.

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User Profile: communicativePond1728
communicativePond1728 December 8th, 2023

@ASilentObserver

That if it comes down to being right or being kind, that I choose kindness.

Giving from an overflowing well only (Not from the depths.).

And learning to change myself in a loving way through honesty and good humour, not through hate or neglect.

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User Profile: ASilentObserver
ASilentObserver OP December 9th, 2023

@communicativePond1728 It sounds like being kind and choosing kindness over being right is very important to you. You mentioned the importance of giving from an overflowing well - how does that concept help inform your approach?


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User Profile: communicativePond1728
communicativePond1728 December 9th, 2023

@ASilentObserver ooooh good question. Yeah when it's integrated into my approach...well that's very powerful and empowering! Heck that changes everything eh?

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User Profile: Suen00
Suen00 December 16th, 2023

I need to adopt these strategies, I particularly like the giving from a place of abundance and the kindness perspective =)

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User Profile: ImpudentIncognito
ImpudentIncognito December 8th, 2023

What matters most to you in your current situation?

Hmm... What matters most?...

Currently, my son is doing fine now in school, so the next step is for me to find a stable career to support my son and my partner. I worry about not being able to support them sufficiently enough.

There's a couple of other important matters that I need to worry about (legally), but it's taking some time to get there... taking care of finances though would help my current situation tremendously.

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User Profile: Jaeteuk
Jaeteuk December 8th, 2023

It's good to hear that your son is doing fine now. What kind of jobs are you interested in? Are there any job hunt services in your area?

I'm also struggling a bit financially too. I was being stupid and was scammed 30k, called the Police but $$ is gone. This was 2 years ago, and with an unstable career myself, I haven't earned much of it back yet.

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User Profile: ImpudentIncognito
ImpudentIncognito December 8th, 2023

@Jaeteuk Hey Jae, thanks!
Currently, I'm trying to get into real estate. 
Always had an interest in that since I was young.
I have knowledge/experience in plumbing, paint, mortgage loans, leasing agent, etc so it felt like being a real estate agent was the next step. I've liked the idea of flipping houses or renting them out for passive income to do my true passions -- which are more in the creative field...but not exactly a lucrative field, unfortunately...
I kind of have a job lined up -- I had some realtors contact me, but I'm currently enrolled in school, so one of the real estate companies is going to contact me every so often to check in on the classes. I already had an interview with them and everything....Hoping it's a guarantee since they plan on checking in on me...

If not...the real estate school also has companies they're linked to, and some may try to recruit new students like me, it's an option you can check off when signing up for their classes.

Oh dang, I'm sorry to hear about the scam and them stealing 30K from you. :( 
How's it been at work btw? Did the people who were going to retire leave yet? Is there replacements in staff members? What are your thoughts on your next steps for your job/career?


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User Profile: Jaeteuk
Jaeteuk December 8th, 2023

Good to hear you've got yourself into Real Estate school. There was an anesthetist who took a 5 year break and did real estate. I know someone else who's doing real estate and is living a good life. Before Covid, they were a young married couple with one son, they went on weekend getaways every month! And stayed in luxury rooms.

I hope this works out for you!

The first to retire is by next July, taking all her vacation in May and June, then should be gone by July. Still have to put up with her for a few more months. Then, probably the girl who is in the temporary relief line will apply to her full-time line. Then, we might get another new relief staff to cover a few months before the lady on Maternity Leave returns in October. 2 other colleagues will retire in the next two years, simultaneously.

I actually am already planning my way out. The past month or so, I have been updating my Cover Letter and Resumé. I'm not giving up my dream of Teaching English overseas. There is a company I will send out my tailored Cover Letter to, early in January. Since it's a company in China, I'll give it a couple of months for them to respond, then, I'll have to go onto plan B. My cousin suggested something called a Workaway. Although I might not be teaching English, but I can still experience living in South Korea. Found a place that will provide accommodation and simple kitchen foods. But, not sure how it works completely, I may or may not be able to go next year (August/September). As I probably need to register for some sort of work visa, as the host will have us working in his Café, and we get paid minimum wage of the country.

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User Profile: ImpudentIncognito
ImpudentIncognito December 9th, 2023

@Jaeteuk Thanks! I can technically start classes anytime since I receive the books on Thursday, but was going to wait till Monday to have a little break before doing the online classes for real-estate. They can start at any time. I'm going to treat it like a job and study/do the classes for 8hrs out of the day, 5 days a week and rest on the weekends and MAYBE do some reading on weekends. I do want to get the license ASAP, but also need to take some breaks in-between.


My partner and I are thinking of eventually moving out of the city and staying in this state (for now). We might move to a different state later. Not sure yet...Just sort of figuring things out. Prior, I wanted to move out of the continent and go to Europe where my other family members are and turn a new leaf, but...My partner has medical issues, can't fly on plane plus...I want him in my life. He'll travel with me, even if it hurts him, and I don't want that.


Oof, that's 7 months away for that difficult coworker to retire. :( But if she's taking her vacation in May, I guess then you only really have to deal with her for 5 months? Or maybe you won't have to deal with them for long since you've been working on your cover letter and resume! In terms of teaching English -- I know a couple of websites/apps if you're interested? One of my hobbies is language learning. Spanish was my native language since my mother did not speak English when she migrated to this country we reside in, but my father's main language is English so I grew up with both.

A couple of places you could apply for are (and these are all remote/online positions, so you can live anywhere):

I haven't heard of Workaway, but it sounds interesting!
I was looking into a work visa too, since I wanted to move to certain European countries(Narrowed it down to like 3 or 4 lol).
Maybe you can apply directly for work visa and find what jobs they have available if you prefer not to do the cafe? The cafe doesn't sound bad though! Can still do the English teaching at the same time of working at the cafe.

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User Profile: Jaeteuk
Jaeteuk December 10th, 2023

Oh, they're online classes, even better. Work at your own pace. Breaks are a must, do take them.

Yes, 5 months of dealing with her. I sure want to keep the hopes of with the career change. Thank you for the links, I'll check them out.

I wish to be able to work overseas.. I seriously need a change in my life. I think when I'm forced out of my comfort zone (by being away from home and in another country), that my life will change for the better. As I meet more people, experience life in a different way than I am now, that it would help me grow. There is another personal thing I have hoped for, that a new working environment or leaving the country, that I will make new friends or find my lifetime partner.

Here in my hometown, can't meet anyone at work, and I'm not all that into socializing and putting myself out there when home is where I'm most comfortable, there's no chance of meeting anyone with my current lifestyle. So, I thought that working overseas, doing my dream career, maybe ii could meet my partner along the way.

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User Profile: ASilentObserver
ASilentObserver OP December 9th, 2023

@ImpudentIncognito I am sorry to hear that finding stable work to support your family financially is weighing heavily on you. Having that stability would help ease some of the worries you're feeling. What aspects of finding the right career opportunity are you focusing your energy on at this time? You are dedicated to caring for your loved ones during this season of transition. I hope you find the one that you deserve, impudent. i am thinking of you and here with you. 


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User Profile: Enthenia
Enthenia December 8th, 2023

I guess for me, trying to keep abreast of the work. If I can get ahead and stay ahead, that lessens the overall stress for me. Unfortunately, I'm not doing all that well in keeping ahead. I had gotten almost caught up on my reports (only behind by like a day or so which is better than sixteen days behind. That's where I was about a week ago.) but then I had today off to go to the doctor and get the pup groomed. So now I'm back to being four or five days behind. 

I'll have to see how much I can get accomplished when I go in on Monday.


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User Profile: ASilentObserver
ASilentObserver OP December 9th, 2023

@Enthenia I am glad to hear that keeping on top of your work is important to you. Managing a busy workload while also taking time for your health can feel challenging. Simply taking things one task at a time may help reduce the pressure you're feeling. You have made progress in getting caught up before, and I have no doubt you can do so again. What helps you feel motivated when you start to feel behind? 

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User Profile: Enthenia
Enthenia December 9th, 2023

@ASilentObserver well my doctor told me to take more breaks. Those are hard to do. As for keeping me motivated, it's not exactly a sense of motivation, it's more of a sense that it won't get done if I don't do it. There is no sharing the burden where I work and there are many who would much rather chat than do work. Those are the people I ignore because I simply do not have the time to for meaningless chatter. Also, I am not getting paid to participate in small talk and that is what breaks are for although I don't really do breaks. 

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User Profile: Mekuland3050
Mekuland3050 December 11th, 2023

Health , peace and self improvement is really important for me now

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User Profile: ASilentObserver
ASilentObserver OP December 11th, 2023

@Mekuland3050 It is wonderful to hear that health, peace and self-improvement are priorities for you now.  You're taking steps towards caring for yourself, which is very courageous. What aspects of your well-being would you most like to focus on improving?


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User Profile: Mekuland3050
Mekuland3050 December 13th, 2023

My mental and physical health i am trying to focus on positive thoughts and taking care of myself i try to eat well , read books be mindful

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User Profile: ASilentObserver
ASilentObserver OP December 13th, 2023

@Mekuland3050 your steps are counting Meku and you doing your best. i believe in you

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User Profile: Mekuland3050
Mekuland3050 December 13th, 2023

Thank you !

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User Profile: Suen00
Suen00 December 16th, 2023

That's great!

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User Profile: JollyRacher
JollyRacher December 11th, 2023

@ASilentObserver

My sanity, honestly. I just want to be able to come out of this situation with my brain in tact. 

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User Profile: ASilentObserver
ASilentObserver OP December 13th, 2023

@JollyRacher It is understandable that maintaining your sanity would be most important to you in this situation. Focusing on your mental well-being makes sense. Please know you are not alone in wanting to feel in control of your thoughts and emotions.  


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User Profile: InsightfulPhoenix
InsightfulPhoenix December 13th, 2023

I feel what matters most to me is that there is a roof over me and my little family's heads, we are paying bills and able to get food. The economy is hard and everything is pricy so yes bumpy things can happen, but there is always something positive to look at and work towards. Never surrender to the bumpiness, just take a helmet and act like it's ride at a theme park. 

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User Profile: ASilentObserver
ASilentObserver OP December 15th, 2023

@InsightfulPhoenix I get it Phoenix. It sounds like having a roof over your family's head and being able to pay bills and get food during this challenging economic time are really important to feel secure. I am glad you see the importance of focusing on the positives and working towards goals even when times are bumpy.


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User Profile: Suen00
Suen00 December 16th, 2023

The most important thing for me is having good workmates that help me keep motivated and complete the tasks on time... Which is something I always lacked... That's probably why I find it's really motivated.

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User Profile: ASilentObserver
ASilentObserver OP December 18th, 2023

@Suen00 It sounds like supportive workmates who help stay motivated and complete tasks on time are important to you. You mentioned this is something you've lacked in the past - having a caring team around must make a big difference. What is it about that type of support that you find most valuable?



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User Profile: Suen00
Suen00 December 22nd, 2023

It's just the feeling of belonging and that we're all in here for each other and with common goals and directions. Otherwise any work feels quite pointless...

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User Profile: ASilentObserver
ASilentObserver OP December 23rd, 2023

@Suen00 It sounds like finding belonging and connection with others in your work is important to you. 

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User Profile: Suen00
Suen00 December 24th, 2023

I think it's important in every aspect of my life.

Probably I haven't fulfilled this aspect of my life yet.

=)

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User Profile: ASilentObserver
ASilentObserver OP December 25th, 2023

@Suen00 I am sure you will get there. We are all here with you in this. 

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User Profile: Suen00
Suen00 December 27th, 2023

Thank you!

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