Conquering Anxiety: Exposure Therapy

@Hope

My therapist had me do exposure without cooing mechanisms. He said to just experience the discomfort. 

P.S. I can do everything but 9 and 10. It is likely that I never will. 

@Hope

My therapist had me do exposure without coping mechanisms. I was told to just experience the discomfort and try not to create stories to go with it.

P.S. I can do all of the challenges except 9 and 10. I doubt i ever will. I know no way of working up to this exposure. How do you gradually work you way to giving a speech without giving a speech?

@Gettingbettertoday

Maybe communicating that with therapist can help? and from my opinion maybe giving a speech in some smaller gatherings. Either way, keep up the good work💚

@daydreammemories

It needs to be people I don't know. I am not afraid to speak in front of friends. 

How do I find a group of strangers of the correct size, Lets say its 4, that are willing to sit down for 10 min so a stranger can give a speech. I went to toast masters but they are all about pressuring people. I was asked repeatedly if I wanted to get up and speak even after I told them I was only there to get information. Extremely triggering.

@Gettingbettertoday I think the one here is just an example. You could make one that's more suited for you. Because I don't see an opportunity to give a speech at a wedding either or at a work group

Can you think of something that might be more realistic for you? 

@mytwistedsoul\

If I were asked to speak at work the group would be 50 to 150 people. So your correct work is not an option. 

I can't think of anything that is realistic or unrealistic. I don't see how I am expected to exposure.

@mytwistedsoul

If I were asked to speak at work the group would be 50 to 150 people. So your correct work is not an option. 

I can't think of anything that is realistic or unrealistic. I don't see how I am expected to exposure.

@Gettingbettertoday  Sorry.  Tbh I'm having trouble with figuring out something too 

@Hope

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlJy85EQrCI
I've been watching her videos for a while now and they've been quite handy. 

@daydreammemories

I like Katie too.

@daydreammemories

I subscribed to her videos yesterday when watching the one given in our task. I hope to use her methods in my personal life not only as a listener here 

@pamharley003

That's a good goal! :)

@Hope

Presenting something in a work environment:

I have the fear of being judged when I have to present something in a work environment. It is hard for me to present my portion of a work task to others in fear i not a voiceable person. 

Ways to handle that:

make my presentation in a power point presentation and before presenting it do a mock presentation to a small group of friends who will give pointers are being able to do the task without my fear being seen.

Write my portion of a task on index card and to leave able room for answers given at the time of my talking.

Remember to use a calm breathing exercise when talking and to make eye contact and smile while speaking 

@pamharley003

I completely understand that fear of presenting! Your voice is so important and it matters. The steps you've outlined are concrete steps that could certainly help you on your presentation path. You've got this!

@Hope Honestly, I feel like this task is very difficult for me. For picking out something that I experience anxiety around, I'd pick speaking to someone who's not too familiar or in front of many people. Like speaking in class, you know. It makes me very anxious, so I avoid it when I can. But sometimes I can't, like if the teacher specifically asks me to answer. When that happens, I usually get very scared but somehow manage to answer but it's usually not a good answer.

I wish I could do something about this. But I really can't think of any exposure hierarchy for this. Like whatever I could try to do, ask a doubt or answer a question, or say something, there's always this worrying about what everyone will think. I don't seem to be able to think of any smaller step I can take.

@exuberantBlackberry9105

Exposure therapy is one of the most challenging things out there. It absolutely can be hard but we are capable of doing hard things!

You have described that you are strengthening the anxiety cycle by avoiding things that make you anxious. But like you said, you can't escape all of them even if you try to. 

Its scary to be judged but recently I came across a post where the speaker said one thing that helped him stop caring about what people thought was realizing he never knew what they were thinking, he had created these mean versions of people that always seem to be judging his every move but the reality is none of us can truly tell what others think and nor does it matter. 

Of all the things that are absolutely scary for you right in terms of speaking in front of people. What seems the least scary?

@Hope I feel like it's really scary because I do kinda know what people are thinking. Mean versions of people who judge my every move aren't entirely my creation. I'm observant and I see what my classmates are doing and how they behave. I often overhear mean conversations and even if they aren't mean, many of them let me in on how my classmates think and feel about things that happen. I see many people who literally judge other's every move and mock them on their way of speaking or walking or whatever. Some people just love pointing out other's mistakes and making fun of them. But from what I observe, I kinda can tell what my classmates are thinking even if I don't know exactly. It might not really matter what they are thinking, but it worries me and scares me.

What seems least scary? I dunno, maybe speaking when nobody's paying attention and busy talking? Lol, that doesn't make much sense, I know.

@Hope 1. Stand a 20 foot from the hill

2. each day move a few steps closer

3. stand 2 feet away for 5 minutes 

4. sit 1 foot from the edge

5. each day more forward a few inches until sitting at the edge

6. sit at the edge for 5 minutes. Increase time there

7. stand at the edge

8. look down 

9. repeat above steps with weed eater in tow 

10. use weed eater

idk 😕 tbh I feel incredibly stupid for being afraid of a hill. And for bringing attention to it here

@mytwistedsoul

Everyone has fears that may be deemed stupid by the general public. It takes courage to own up to them. No shame in it

I like these steps, they seem well-balanced. 

Do you have fear of hight in general or is it more hill-related? Like are you okay with stairs?

@Hope Thank you! I did put alot of thought into these steps

The fear of heights comes and goes if that makes sense. I'm ok with stairs. But the fear this time is based around this one hill in particular because I got hurt pretty bad falling down it

@mytwistedsoul those sound great! good luck on your journey \o/

@KateDoskocilova Thank you! 😊

@Hope

Share one resource on exposure therapy from a reputable source. Please make sure its total reading time or if it's a video, it's under 5 minutes. 

"How to Use Gradual Exposure to Treat Anxiety" - https://ctrinstitute.com/blog/how-to-use-gradual-exposure-to-treat-anxiety/

@CordialDancer

Thank you for sharing

@Hope
how to perform exposure therapy for anxiety at home

@Hope I seen this last month and was meaning to get around to responding. Excuse me for the delay. For my task, I am choosing my fear of shopping in crowded places. I am the type that leaves when there are too many people. But guess what I did recently? I couldn't order these cute Stitch shoes on the Walmart app online because they didn't have my size. But I knew the store did and I really wanted this 1 thing. Normally, I will forfeit anything I want or need at times and just say forget it. But I told myself how bad do you want it? I ended up going IN Walmart in person through the auto side to run in and get the shoes. I went early enough there was not many people and I did not talk to anyone, but guess what? I got my shoes and did it on my own. 

@TheGeminiInMe

That is a big deal, great job!!!

While reading my heart was skipping out of fear 😆

@littleCoconut2419

Haha I can relate to that. This is challenging work!

Talking in public places is an anxiety I am forever working on. I don't use exposure hierarchies because they stress me out. 

This week I am going job hunting and so will need to expose myself to new people and embarrassing myself.

@NovaIsNB

What part of the exposure hierarchy do you find stressful?

Hey, I'm all good till point 6. But my struggle starts from point 7 till 10 in your given example.

I have tremendous anxiety about exercise and being injured.  I have been obese and never seriously exercise for long, but I want to get control of this fear and make healthy choices so I can make lasting change.  I want to be strong and healthy.  

10. Do a 10k walk/run

9.  Do a 5k walk/run

8. Jog for short intervals during an outdoor walk

7. Go on a planned walk with a friend or family member

6. Share with others that I am exercising and learning new ways to take care of my body

5. Try a new workout type in my app, not just walk/stretch

4.Do a stretching workout and follow it with a walking workout

3. Do a yoga or gentle stretching workout for 5-7 minutes 

2.  Use my app to set new goals, add a widget on my phone for reminder

1.  Go back into my workout app and look at my steps for the last week

Here is a video that has helped me: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3-O7gPsQK0

@yellowPineapple3652

Thank you for sharing with us. I can empathize with that challenge. 

I hope you were able to make some progress!

@yellowPineapple3652

It's understandable why you would feel anxious about getting injured when exercising.   You have a very good reason to feel worried.   However, it sounds like taking baby steps and looking at realistic types of exercise might be a good fit.

I couldn't find any video on exposure therapy and CPTSD. Then I found this video, at 3:47 long that explains why.

https://youtu.be/qBe1DKFGCdg?si=AM3wUJsd27ye4aFI

I also found that finding the right therapist, doctor or counsellor can change everything, yet can also be like finding an albino unicorn.

Finding the right fit takes a level of advocacy, action and esteem that many are needing help with in the first place.

This catch-22 creates a cycle that slowly erodes whatever good was left in the person even though they're trying their best.

The generation gaps, housing crisis and any cycles from abuse can add fuel to this fire, making it even harder to navigate.

I'm not sure how to move forward on this session right now as it's become a lot more layered all the sudden. Will probably percolate.

@communicativePond1728

It can be challenging to find the right expert! You point out an important contradiction. 

@Hope I've found listening, compassion, rock bottom, my natural cycles, Tara Brach's RAIN, BK's the work, c.a.r.E., 4D's, HALT, meditation, self care, workbooks and self help books, workshops, In The Rooms app and website, embracing and working with little inner progresses forwards, practicing asking for help, researching ways to do things, forgiving people that don't deserve it (including me) focusing on the positive, grounding, gratitude, determination and perseverance are all probably just some of the general type of keys required for changing from old reactions of blame-shame to more healthy and peaceful love-above responses that generates more good energy and vitality in my life. 

@Hope for conquering social anxiety: 

10.Participate in a school activity/competition.

9. Ask teachers questions.

8. Call customer service for information on an online purchase.

7. Order from a menu.

6. Answer questions at doctors appointment.

5. Ask a bus driver for directions.

4. Have a quick chat with a neighbour.

3. Ask a worker where an item is kept.

2. Pay at a store myself

1. Take deliveries from the door